Hello! Eddie here!

Well, thank you for getting so far in this fic. I actually didn't think I would get to Chapter 10, but there you go. We all like surprises, ne? I think this story will draw to a close in a few Chapters time, depending if stuff I put in takes longer to type than I estimate it to. So. Well done, you're over half way there! Cookies and muffins!

As always, thank you to anyone who reviews, they are appreciated so much, it makes me type faster. It's been scientifically proven!

If you want to leave an idea in a review, please do, but there is no guarantee I will use it, though I have used a few already. . . ¬¬

Disclaimage: I do not own owt, except Mia (who was named after my friend) and Tish (who was named after my old cat).

Review Responses: (for chapter 8)

Dragonet: Well, I did some sleuthing, and a KBC error is when the keyboard isn't recognised by the computer. It's a bugger: either get a new computer or get a new keyboard. Actually, cleaning the keyboard works in some cases, though sadly not in mine. : (

Sugar Icing: Well, the Twins are double-t hott, I agree! And I also switch what I "am" some days. Punk, Goth, Slob, Tracksuits, dresses, sport gear, plastic bags. . .I wear anything! It's the way to go!

Polychrome (un-log-inafied): Well, you can see, more finally did come! Sorry about the wait. Hope the login is working now!

magnolia31: I'm very glad you like this fic, I am finishing it now as we speak!

Hkathar: Thank you for loving this! bows

Matrix-Twin 1: never fear, I am back, and you can continue to love this story!

The Lady Elentari: Thank you! I'm glad you like Twin One. I have no favourites coughTwo cough¬¬ It is good to know one is getting some fan-love too!

Megami No Izumi: Lol, sadly, no water was involved; it was just a really old laptop. I'm on my parent's computer now, while they are at work. . . evil laugh

Kit 19: Thank you for asking around, that's very sweet of you. Whilst I'm here, I'd like to thank EVERYONE who tried to help or couldn't but hoped for the KBC error to go away anyway. Thank you! I can tell you exclusively the cure is: get a new computer XD

Tashilover: A chipmunk on drugs, huh? Yeah. That's not very technical. . .

Shoa Uk: I took your advice and switchblade-ed my computer. Trust me: don't do this. Ever. It results in electrical pain.

Eris: Please don't cry! The error is gone now! Yay!

Amber Eyed Wolf: The KBC is fixed now. Can I get a woop woop?

Chapter 9 responses:

Megami No Izumi: Well, it's good I made you squeal. . .I think. More on the way!

Tashilover: Aw, thanks for giving up on me and then coming back again! No, I mean it! I know some people won't return to Ol' Eddie- they've just moved on and I'm fine with that! And rest assured, One is un-explodey, so it's all good.

Kyrillia: Hey, that's some nice dancing! And you may be forgiven for thinking I was out of the picture, but I always come back in the end! Mwah ha ha! And don't worry, I'm sure Two will get plenty compensation for the interrupted kiss. . .trails off

And on with the fic!

Chapter 10

The Twins had been in The Merovingian's office for over and hour, standing as still as they could, without flinching, as their boss yelled obscenities at them in a variety of languages. It took a little getting used to, being yelled at by a red-faced-bulging-eyed-really-really-pissed-off-Frenchman, but the Twins made a game of it, by trying to count the veins pulsing out of their bosses' forehead.

They were only half-listening to what The Merovingian had been squawking about, something to do with "ztolen information" and "incompetence of ze people I employ" and "Ze Matrix's absolute unstoppable desire to foil my plans" and other mundane things like that. Two was more concerned about Mia- she hadn't been returning his calls lately. One was more concerned about Tish- he didn't even know if she was still alive. This was slightly worrying because the all-important dinner with the boss was scheduled for tomorrow. The Merovingian had paused, rubbing his temples and breathing slowly, which signalled the end of his rant.

"Well? Do you 'ave any questions?"

Two looked at his feet. One cleared his throat.

"Well, erm, there is one thing." Two's mouth fell open. Whenever the boss asked if anyone had any questions you kept your trap shut and tried to make yourself as invisible as possible. The Merovingian looked shocked; it took him a while to recover.

". . .What zhen?" He finally managed.

"This dinner tomorrow," One said, "With our, um, acquaintances. . .is it still on?"

The Merovingian's eyes almost popped out of his head. For a while The Twins were sure his head was going to burst, and they braced themselves for the explosion. But, after a while, his features settled back down and he gave The Twins a large tooth-filled grin.

"But of course," he said, walking behind The Twins and opening the door, gesturing them out. "We wouldn't want to miss such a magnificent dinner with two wonderful ladies, now, would we? All because of some rebel nonsense." He actually managed a laugh, and The Twins chuckled nervously before leaving the expensive office.

One left his Twin in the foyer of the expensive hotel, pushing the buttons frantically on his phone. If this sodding dinner business was still on, it meant he would have to get Tish, and also have to make her look somehow presentable, which he wasn't sure was possible. She answered after six rings, sounding a little groggy.

"Hello?"

"Tish, it's One-" (There was a squeak of delight down the line.) "I need you to be ready in about half an hour. I'll pick you up."

"But. . . .for. . . what?" Tish said, through a yawn. "I'm fucking asleep here, man. I sleep in the daytime, remember?"

One dug his fingernails into his skull. This fucking vampire obsession again. He resisted the urge to reach down the phone and throttle her.

"No. No you don't. You're not a vampire, okay? So you will get out of bed, you will get dressed and you will meet me outside your apartment." He heard her blow out her cheeks. There was a pause, which meant she was thinking, and then:

"So. . . what are we going to do?"

One smiled.

"Go shopping."

It hadn't been easy, but One had done it- got Tish into a clothes store that had more colours than just black. She had fought against him at first, but subsided when he told her she would get to meet more vampires if she complied. Now he waited outside the dressing room as she tried on various dresses that he though The Merovingian would approve of. He heard Tish's voice grumble through the curtain.

"What's wrong with that one?" He sighed.

"It's pink." She said. "Fucking pink! I look like a fucking marshmallow."

"Oh, it can't be that bad."

"It is. I ain't coming out, no fuckin' way."

One leant back on the chair. He saw the shopping assistant look at him with distaste. He shot an equally venomous look back at her before she walked away, tutting.

"Tish, just come out. Please? The sooner we get this over with the better." There were more feeble protests, but she slowly drew back the curtain and One couldn't help gasping. Her long scruffy black hair seemed to slash the top of the dress into pieces. Her stance was all wrong, the dress was too frilly, too pretty, too pink- she did look some like some kind of marshmallow. Albeit a gothic one.

"Well?" Tish asked, hoping for a better reaction than just a rude stare. "What do you think?"

One looked at her face, then at the dress. Face, dress. It just didn't match. He tried to stop himself, but burst out laughing, laughing so hard a few people looked round. Tish's cheeks reddened and she stormed back into the dressing room in a swish of pinkness, and One still laughed. It was new thing to him, and he had to stop after a while because he felt like collapsing. After the giggles subsided, he wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Sorry, Tish, you're right. You get to pick the next one."

"Oh, no I don't. I'm told you- I don't do dresses. It don't look fucking right."

"Don't be a spoilsport. I'll let you wear a black one."

She still seemed unconvinced. Then:

"Can I wear the big chunky boots we saw in the Goth shop a few blocks down?"

One paused, but seeing no way out of the situation, agreed.

"Okay!" Tish perked up, and her pierced head appeared from around the curtain. "Go and get that black dress near the front of the store- the halter-neck one, I didn't mind that one."

One did what he was told, shaking his head unbelievingly. Assassin, bodyguard, yes. But personal shopper? His skin crawled at the thought of it. Still, tomorrow it would all be over. And that was good. He returned to Tish, and passed the dress to her. She came out a few minutes later, smiling shyly.

"I like this one," She said awkwardly. "What do think? It doesn't make me look fat?"

Alarm bells went off in One's head, and he remembered what the fucking cosmo article had said: 'If your date ever asks, she NEVER looks fat. Ever.'

"No, you look gorgeous." He said, which seemed to have the desired effect. Tish even gave him a little twirl before disappearing behind the curtain again.

"Okay. I'll have it then. But only because you said I'll get to meet more vamps."

One rolled his eyes.

Yay! Ok, a little bit short, but I like Tish and One talking, they have this almost sibling relationship, and I think it's cute. So nyah. Please review if you will, I will love you and give you (yup, you guessed it) e-cookies and e-muffins all the colours of the rainbow!

Random fact: The elephant is the only mammal with four knees.

Eddie