Author Note: Today an extra long chapter because I am in an over-productive mood ^-^. Oh yes, and the song Albus sings is called "Jean" and is written by Rod McKuen in 1969 for the movie "The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie". So it's not mine. Nor are all the HP characters, actually ^-^.
~*~
Another two weeks passed, and Minerva secretly wished the Death Eaters would finally attack. Wasn't everything better than this waiting, this waiting for… For what? What were the Death Eaters waiting for, actually? They were out there, camping on the lawns of Hogwarts, watching, observing the castle, but what did they want? Harry? Why did they then not attack?
But did they want Harry?
Minerva sighed and buried her face in her arms. Who was she trying to fool, after all?
She knew whom Voldemort wanted.
~*~
Moments later, a soft hand on her left shoulder made her look up.
"Albus." she then said, without even having to turn around.
"Yes." her husband answered, as he took a chair and sat down next to her.
"How much longer, Albus?" Minerva then asked flatly, uninterestedly.
"I don't know."
The Headmaster sounded desperate as he spoke those words. More desperate than ever before. He, Albus Dumbledore, the hero, the great wizard, the ever-wise man who always knew what to do. He didn't know.
Yet, Minerva repeated, not even looking at him
"How much longer, Albus?"
She sighed and balled her fists in a sudden, furious gesture.
"I cannot stand this anymore! I can't! How much longer are we stuck here, in this castle? I love Hogwarts, Albus, it's been my home for so long. But now, I hate it. I am a cat, Albus, what am I without fresh air, without grounds to stroll on? And everybody grows more and more frightened, and paler and paler, and… Oh, hell!"
With this, the proud, calm Deputy Headmistress covered her face with her hands and cried.
Minerva McGonagall did never cry.
Minerva McGonagall did cry.
Albus did not try to comfort her, for which she was secretly grateful. He just laid an arm around her trembling shoulders, as she took out one of her large handkerchiefs and blew her nose.
"I- I am such a coward…"
"You aren't."
"I am. How do you then call a person who…"
"Who wonderfully takes care of her students and of her poor, totally lost husband."
Minerva faintly smiled, yet muttered
"Shut up."
"Okay."
As Minerva carefully wiped her tears away, she secretly cursed herself. What had happened to the Famous Self Control? For God's sake, as if crying was going to help anyone here…
"Yet, it is true, Albus, I am a coward and don't you dare deny it."
"Hogwarts needs you."
"I know that, Albus, you always tell me that. But- oh, hell, what's got into me!" she exclaimed as fresh tears rolled from her cheeks.
"That is, my dear, what we normal people usually call feelings." Albus quietly responded as he handed her his handkerchief.
Minerva shot him an icy glare, yet the man smiled.
"What is your middle name, my dear?"
Now Minerva smiled as well, though she still was sobbing.
"Jean, Albus, you've asked me that question a hundred times. And don't start with the song again…"
Yet Albus smiled once more as he took his Deputy's hands and softly squeezed them.
"Jean, Jean, roses are red
All the leaves have gone green."
He pulled her from her chair to the window.
"And the clouds are so low
You can touch them, and so
Come out to the meadow, Jean."
Despite herself, Minerva chuckled as Albus laid his arms around her waist and twirled her around.
"Jean, Jean, you're young and alive
Come out of your half-dreamed dream
And run, if you will, to the top of the hill
Open your arms, bonnie Jean."
"Albus, you've sung that song so many times before, and…"
"And every time I manage to make you smile, my dear."
And indeed, he did, as they very slowly danced through the room on the soft tones of the Headmaster's soft, slightly hoarse voice.
"Till the sheep in the valley come home my way…
Till the stars fall around me and find me alone…
When the sun comes a-singin'
I'll still be waitin'…
For Jean, Jean, roses are red
And all of the leaves have gone green
While the hills are ablaze with the moon's yellow haze
Come into my arms, bonnie Jean "
With a soft sigh, "Jean" did as Albus had asked as she leant her head on his shoulder.
"And you will, my dear, when this is all over, you will run, if you will, to the top of that hill. That hill, over there."
He smiled and pointed at a far away spot, even beyond the Lake.
"And, if it's God's will, I'll walk there next to you."
With a soft smile, Minerva burrowed her face in Albus' beard.
"I'll pray for it, Albus. I really will. But-" she said, as she slowly started to come "back to earth".
"Still remains the fact- I am a coward and if I was just a little bit of a Gryffindor, then I would go outside, there, and then I would fight! Then I would…"
"Then we are all cowards, my dear."
"You know what I mean, Albus. I mean…"
~*~
But Albus would never know what she meant, for on that very moment, a soft, yet firm knock on the door was heard, and a boy with messy, black hairs came in.
"Hello, Professor McGonagall, Professor Dumbledore. Professor Lupin told me you were here… I-I need to talk to you…"
Albus kindly smiled and nodded, pointing at one of the empty chairs.
"Have a seat, Harry. What is the matter?"
But Harry didn't sit down. He just stood there, biting his lips, and suddenly, both Albus and Minerva realized what this boy wanted to say…
"I can't stay here anymore!" he then, suddenly, impulsively, exclaimed. "I can't stay here anymore, Professor. It is me whom Voldemort wants, well, let him have me! He wants to fight me, then let him fight me! I am going!"
His words were exactly the words Albus had expected, yet they shocked him nonetheless.
"Harry- I…"
But as he saw the tears in the clear, green eyes of the boy, he felt suddenly incapable to say anything.
"I…"
But Albus shrugged his shoulders and sighed.
"Oh for God's sake!" a sudden voice exclaimed from the corner of the room- surprising them both. They had almost forgotten in whose office they were sitting.
With a determined gesture, Minerva stood up, strode forward and firmly, yet gently, laid her arms around Harry. It struck Dumbledore once more how much his wife resembled the boy. The messy, black hair- though Minerva's tight bun usually managed to control it quite well!-, the piercing, green eyes… Harry was now a few inches taller than his Professor, yet he looked remarkably much like a young child as he, now sobbing softly, allowed Minerva to softly stroke his back. And Stern Old McGonagall had once more disappeared.
"Harry- Harry, you don't have to go… It is not because of you… Harry, you don't have to leave!"
Yet, with those words, the seventeen-year old boy released his teacher and despite his tears, determinedly nodded.
"Oh yes I have, Professor. And I will…"
"But what for, Harry?"
"For mum and dad. For Sirius. For the world." was his quick, sincere reply.
Minerva sighed as she sat down again.
"You are brave, Harry Potter, yet I wish you weren't. He does not want you, Harry. He doesn't."
"He does."
"No."
With this, Albus softly coughed as he stood up as well.
"I suggest you come with me to my office, Harry. We will talk about this. Or- no… Yes, go to my office and there wait for me. I am coming."
The boy nodded and with a last, pleading glance left the room. Minerva stood up.
"Albus, you can't let him do this." she then spoke matter-of-factly.
"It's his choice."
"His choice, yes, and it'll be his death as well!"
"I'll go with him."
"You what?"
Abruptly, Minerva turned towards her husband, in his eyes seeking for acknowledgement that her ears had deceived her. But as he averted his gaze, she slapped him right in the face.
"You what, Albus Dumbledore? You are going with him… what? You can't, Albus! You can't! You… you… you… He's only a bloody child!"
"He's not. He's a man."
And as if she'd been expecting that answer, Minerva hollowly laughed.
"He's a man! I will never become a man, Albus, and I am proud of it! So that's it, that's why I can't go out there and fight and he can! Because he's a man?!"
"No, Minerva, because…"
But his wife raised her hand and walked towards the door.
"Shut up, Albus. But I-" she narrowed her eyes and looked at him.
"I'll tell you one thing, Albus, though you already know it. When I told Harry that it wasn't him Voldemort wanted, I spoke the truth. Voldemort doesn't want Harry, not anymore."
And with a bitter, yet almost- triumphant grin, she turned towards her husband once more.
"He wants me…" she said.
And she left the room.
~*~
Another two weeks passed, and Minerva secretly wished the Death Eaters would finally attack. Wasn't everything better than this waiting, this waiting for… For what? What were the Death Eaters waiting for, actually? They were out there, camping on the lawns of Hogwarts, watching, observing the castle, but what did they want? Harry? Why did they then not attack?
But did they want Harry?
Minerva sighed and buried her face in her arms. Who was she trying to fool, after all?
She knew whom Voldemort wanted.
~*~
Moments later, a soft hand on her left shoulder made her look up.
"Albus." she then said, without even having to turn around.
"Yes." her husband answered, as he took a chair and sat down next to her.
"How much longer, Albus?" Minerva then asked flatly, uninterestedly.
"I don't know."
The Headmaster sounded desperate as he spoke those words. More desperate than ever before. He, Albus Dumbledore, the hero, the great wizard, the ever-wise man who always knew what to do. He didn't know.
Yet, Minerva repeated, not even looking at him
"How much longer, Albus?"
She sighed and balled her fists in a sudden, furious gesture.
"I cannot stand this anymore! I can't! How much longer are we stuck here, in this castle? I love Hogwarts, Albus, it's been my home for so long. But now, I hate it. I am a cat, Albus, what am I without fresh air, without grounds to stroll on? And everybody grows more and more frightened, and paler and paler, and… Oh, hell!"
With this, the proud, calm Deputy Headmistress covered her face with her hands and cried.
Minerva McGonagall did never cry.
Minerva McGonagall did cry.
Albus did not try to comfort her, for which she was secretly grateful. He just laid an arm around her trembling shoulders, as she took out one of her large handkerchiefs and blew her nose.
"I- I am such a coward…"
"You aren't."
"I am. How do you then call a person who…"
"Who wonderfully takes care of her students and of her poor, totally lost husband."
Minerva faintly smiled, yet muttered
"Shut up."
"Okay."
As Minerva carefully wiped her tears away, she secretly cursed herself. What had happened to the Famous Self Control? For God's sake, as if crying was going to help anyone here…
"Yet, it is true, Albus, I am a coward and don't you dare deny it."
"Hogwarts needs you."
"I know that, Albus, you always tell me that. But- oh, hell, what's got into me!" she exclaimed as fresh tears rolled from her cheeks.
"That is, my dear, what we normal people usually call feelings." Albus quietly responded as he handed her his handkerchief.
Minerva shot him an icy glare, yet the man smiled.
"What is your middle name, my dear?"
Now Minerva smiled as well, though she still was sobbing.
"Jean, Albus, you've asked me that question a hundred times. And don't start with the song again…"
Yet Albus smiled once more as he took his Deputy's hands and softly squeezed them.
"Jean, Jean, roses are red
All the leaves have gone green."
He pulled her from her chair to the window.
"And the clouds are so low
You can touch them, and so
Come out to the meadow, Jean."
Despite herself, Minerva chuckled as Albus laid his arms around her waist and twirled her around.
"Jean, Jean, you're young and alive
Come out of your half-dreamed dream
And run, if you will, to the top of the hill
Open your arms, bonnie Jean."
"Albus, you've sung that song so many times before, and…"
"And every time I manage to make you smile, my dear."
And indeed, he did, as they very slowly danced through the room on the soft tones of the Headmaster's soft, slightly hoarse voice.
"Till the sheep in the valley come home my way…
Till the stars fall around me and find me alone…
When the sun comes a-singin'
I'll still be waitin'…
For Jean, Jean, roses are red
And all of the leaves have gone green
While the hills are ablaze with the moon's yellow haze
Come into my arms, bonnie Jean "
With a soft sigh, "Jean" did as Albus had asked as she leant her head on his shoulder.
"And you will, my dear, when this is all over, you will run, if you will, to the top of that hill. That hill, over there."
He smiled and pointed at a far away spot, even beyond the Lake.
"And, if it's God's will, I'll walk there next to you."
With a soft smile, Minerva burrowed her face in Albus' beard.
"I'll pray for it, Albus. I really will. But-" she said, as she slowly started to come "back to earth".
"Still remains the fact- I am a coward and if I was just a little bit of a Gryffindor, then I would go outside, there, and then I would fight! Then I would…"
"Then we are all cowards, my dear."
"You know what I mean, Albus. I mean…"
~*~
But Albus would never know what she meant, for on that very moment, a soft, yet firm knock on the door was heard, and a boy with messy, black hairs came in.
"Hello, Professor McGonagall, Professor Dumbledore. Professor Lupin told me you were here… I-I need to talk to you…"
Albus kindly smiled and nodded, pointing at one of the empty chairs.
"Have a seat, Harry. What is the matter?"
But Harry didn't sit down. He just stood there, biting his lips, and suddenly, both Albus and Minerva realized what this boy wanted to say…
"I can't stay here anymore!" he then, suddenly, impulsively, exclaimed. "I can't stay here anymore, Professor. It is me whom Voldemort wants, well, let him have me! He wants to fight me, then let him fight me! I am going!"
His words were exactly the words Albus had expected, yet they shocked him nonetheless.
"Harry- I…"
But as he saw the tears in the clear, green eyes of the boy, he felt suddenly incapable to say anything.
"I…"
But Albus shrugged his shoulders and sighed.
"Oh for God's sake!" a sudden voice exclaimed from the corner of the room- surprising them both. They had almost forgotten in whose office they were sitting.
With a determined gesture, Minerva stood up, strode forward and firmly, yet gently, laid her arms around Harry. It struck Dumbledore once more how much his wife resembled the boy. The messy, black hair- though Minerva's tight bun usually managed to control it quite well!-, the piercing, green eyes… Harry was now a few inches taller than his Professor, yet he looked remarkably much like a young child as he, now sobbing softly, allowed Minerva to softly stroke his back. And Stern Old McGonagall had once more disappeared.
"Harry- Harry, you don't have to go… It is not because of you… Harry, you don't have to leave!"
Yet, with those words, the seventeen-year old boy released his teacher and despite his tears, determinedly nodded.
"Oh yes I have, Professor. And I will…"
"But what for, Harry?"
"For mum and dad. For Sirius. For the world." was his quick, sincere reply.
Minerva sighed as she sat down again.
"You are brave, Harry Potter, yet I wish you weren't. He does not want you, Harry. He doesn't."
"He does."
"No."
With this, Albus softly coughed as he stood up as well.
"I suggest you come with me to my office, Harry. We will talk about this. Or- no… Yes, go to my office and there wait for me. I am coming."
The boy nodded and with a last, pleading glance left the room. Minerva stood up.
"Albus, you can't let him do this." she then spoke matter-of-factly.
"It's his choice."
"His choice, yes, and it'll be his death as well!"
"I'll go with him."
"You what?"
Abruptly, Minerva turned towards her husband, in his eyes seeking for acknowledgement that her ears had deceived her. But as he averted his gaze, she slapped him right in the face.
"You what, Albus Dumbledore? You are going with him… what? You can't, Albus! You can't! You… you… you… He's only a bloody child!"
"He's not. He's a man."
And as if she'd been expecting that answer, Minerva hollowly laughed.
"He's a man! I will never become a man, Albus, and I am proud of it! So that's it, that's why I can't go out there and fight and he can! Because he's a man?!"
"No, Minerva, because…"
But his wife raised her hand and walked towards the door.
"Shut up, Albus. But I-" she narrowed her eyes and looked at him.
"I'll tell you one thing, Albus, though you already know it. When I told Harry that it wasn't him Voldemort wanted, I spoke the truth. Voldemort doesn't want Harry, not anymore."
And with a bitter, yet almost- triumphant grin, she turned towards her husband once more.
"He wants me…" she said.
And she left the room.