A/N- Yay! I'm in a much better mood! Even though I didn't have computer
access all through spring break (long story short, we had our floors redone
and couldn't walk on them). Anyway, here's another update! Yay!
Alteng- Yep, Pippin is the star of every chapter for quite a while. Must... put... in... cool... accent... How did you know about Gandalf/Saruman? That happens later!
Nikki Staggerwall- Don't worry, I understand the fangirl identity crisis weirdness. I went through it for a short while before I moved on to Pippin and then Sam! Yay Sam!
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"No," Peter Jackson said, "Eyebrow man is Elrond. You've gotta give him something... something that's Pippin, and Pippin only!"
/\/\/\
Back in Rivendell, several hours later, Gimli and Legolas left the stable by different doors. Arwen, guessing that this would destroy her Legolas Fan Club, yanked an arrow out of Legolas's quiver as he ran by, and she approached Gimli.
"Dwarf!" she yelled.
"Yes ma'am?"
"You insult all that is Elfhood!"
"No! No, I love Elves! I love them like I would if I was one!"
Gimli's dad, Glóin, wandered by as Arwen shoved her newly acquired arrow in Gimli's face.
Gimli rolled his eyes. "I shan't fight you, lassie."
Arwen glared at him. "Dwarfs are wimps!" she announced.
"Oy!" Glóin yelled. "I'll fight you, she-elf!"
Arwen slashed the arrow across his chest, blunting it on his chain mail, then narrowly avoided his ax as she came back for another attack. The arrow's tip disappeared through his beard. Glóin's ax dropped from his hands.
Arwen backed away as Gimli rushed forward, pulling the arrow from Glóin's throat. The old dwarf gasped in pain.
"Gimli... 'Tis only a scratch...but 'tis enough...if you ask for me tomorrow, you shall find me a grave dwarf..." he choked.
Frodo and Sam, who had been hiding behind the potted plants, rushed out and helped carry Glóin to Elrond. Pippin followed, shouting, "To infinity, and beyond!"
/\/\/\
Peter Jackson shook his head. "Are you kidding? Disney would sue the jeepers out of us!"
/\/\/\
Gimli looked at the arrow. "This is Legolas's!"
"Oh... yeah... it is," Arwen said submissively.
Gimli pocketed the arrow, then drew out his ax. "You killed my father!"
"I AM your father!" Arwen answered.
Gimli's ax halted in midair. "Huh?"
Arwen giggled. "I dunno, I've just always wanted to say that."
Furious that Arwen was giggling right after murdering his father, Gimli swung the ax right into her stomach.
Arwen gasped; said, "There goes the fan club," and died.
"YAAAAAAAY!" screamed Éowyn.
"NOOOOOOO!" screamed Elrond.
"YAAAAAAAY!" screamed the Authoress.
"NOOOOOOO!" screamed Aragorn, who threw a plugged-in toaster into a bathtub full of water, jumped in after it, and died.
"Vive la république!" screamed Pippin.
/\/\/\
Peter Jackson shook his head. "Next!"
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Yes, I killed Aragorn – to be more precise, he killed himself. Don't worry, he'll be back. No one dies for good in this story, I promise! Merry, Aragorn, and Arwen will return! Oh, and Glóin, too.
Alteng- Yep, Pippin is the star of every chapter for quite a while. Must... put... in... cool... accent... How did you know about Gandalf/Saruman? That happens later!
Nikki Staggerwall- Don't worry, I understand the fangirl identity crisis weirdness. I went through it for a short while before I moved on to Pippin and then Sam! Yay Sam!
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"No," Peter Jackson said, "Eyebrow man is Elrond. You've gotta give him something... something that's Pippin, and Pippin only!"
/\/\/\
Back in Rivendell, several hours later, Gimli and Legolas left the stable by different doors. Arwen, guessing that this would destroy her Legolas Fan Club, yanked an arrow out of Legolas's quiver as he ran by, and she approached Gimli.
"Dwarf!" she yelled.
"Yes ma'am?"
"You insult all that is Elfhood!"
"No! No, I love Elves! I love them like I would if I was one!"
Gimli's dad, Glóin, wandered by as Arwen shoved her newly acquired arrow in Gimli's face.
Gimli rolled his eyes. "I shan't fight you, lassie."
Arwen glared at him. "Dwarfs are wimps!" she announced.
"Oy!" Glóin yelled. "I'll fight you, she-elf!"
Arwen slashed the arrow across his chest, blunting it on his chain mail, then narrowly avoided his ax as she came back for another attack. The arrow's tip disappeared through his beard. Glóin's ax dropped from his hands.
Arwen backed away as Gimli rushed forward, pulling the arrow from Glóin's throat. The old dwarf gasped in pain.
"Gimli... 'Tis only a scratch...but 'tis enough...if you ask for me tomorrow, you shall find me a grave dwarf..." he choked.
Frodo and Sam, who had been hiding behind the potted plants, rushed out and helped carry Glóin to Elrond. Pippin followed, shouting, "To infinity, and beyond!"
/\/\/\
Peter Jackson shook his head. "Are you kidding? Disney would sue the jeepers out of us!"
/\/\/\
Gimli looked at the arrow. "This is Legolas's!"
"Oh... yeah... it is," Arwen said submissively.
Gimli pocketed the arrow, then drew out his ax. "You killed my father!"
"I AM your father!" Arwen answered.
Gimli's ax halted in midair. "Huh?"
Arwen giggled. "I dunno, I've just always wanted to say that."
Furious that Arwen was giggling right after murdering his father, Gimli swung the ax right into her stomach.
Arwen gasped; said, "There goes the fan club," and died.
"YAAAAAAAY!" screamed Éowyn.
"NOOOOOOO!" screamed Elrond.
"YAAAAAAAY!" screamed the Authoress.
"NOOOOOOO!" screamed Aragorn, who threw a plugged-in toaster into a bathtub full of water, jumped in after it, and died.
"Vive la république!" screamed Pippin.
/\/\/\
Peter Jackson shook his head. "Next!"
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Yes, I killed Aragorn – to be more precise, he killed himself. Don't worry, he'll be back. No one dies for good in this story, I promise! Merry, Aragorn, and Arwen will return! Oh, and Glóin, too.