Dark Love

By: Padfoot-chan

The reason I am doing this is to tell people that the next chapter update will be rated R. I have decided to give Robin and Ivan there little moment a little more detailed because of what I am going to do at the end of this chapter. Also, after the second part is updated, there will be one chapter left and that is the end of Dark Love unless at least one person wants me to continue it and then I will pull my brainpower and work on the sequel to this. So after this, only two more chapters to go and then the end. Owari. La Fin. Wow, I barely ever finish my chapter stories. Maybe this time it's because a lot more people were into it and I drove myself to complete it

I may be giving something away by saying this but since I do not want people to hate me, let me remind you of one thing. Robin and Ivan are my favorite characters and I love and respect they as if they were my own characters that I spent hours working on. I would not merely go off and do something life threatening to them. As much as I hate some of the characters, I would not hurt them either. I know the blood, sweat, and tears that go into making characters, be it their personality, background, or just their character design. I respect anyone who would work so hard on a character to give them life and show them to the world. They can kill their own characters but when someone else does it, you take it as a personal offense and it is as if they took the knife and drove it through your own heart instead of your characters. I will not do any damage to Ivan or Robin. So by the end of this chapter, if you still do not believe me and do not want to see the outcome, so be it but you will regret it, I am sure.

I really got in touch with Robin's personality in this chapter so I assure it will may make you cry but it is worth reading

Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Sun characters, they belong to Camelot.

Warning: Still shonen-ai. Don't like, don't read.

Read and Review please. No flames please. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Chapter 9: What we Lose…

Part 1

Even though Ivan fell asleep hours ago, I still stay lying on his bed, holding him in my arms and just watching him breath, his hand clutched around a fold of my shirt. There is so much I want to do for him; I just do not know where to start. What makes things worse for me is that stupid hunter Garcia and that vampire lover of his…Picard. If they had minded their own business, I would not have had to tell Ivan that I love him in such a manner. I did not want to say it in anger but…he gave me no choice. He was in denial and I would not listen to a word I said to him.

I shift my weight slightly and look at the digital clock sitting on the table next to Ivan's bed. Half an hour before sunrise, seems I have stayed a little longer than I promised. I smile to myself and lift Ivan up, laying him back down on his bed and covering up him with his bed sheets. I kiss his lips quickly before turning to the window and opening it. I climb onto the windowsill, look back at him one last time before leaping onto the tree branch with ease and shutting the window close with my mind. I sort of like the idea of sneaking around to see him each night…but I do not want to make this a habit. I suppose it cannot be helped, though.

I make my way to my house before the sun lifts into the sky. I hide a yawn behind my hand as I shrug off my jacket, letting it drop to the floor as I fall forward onto my bed and drift off to sleep just as the sun lights up the sky.

The next night is the same as the last, only this time; I slip into Ivan's room and sit on his bed, waiting for him to return from his training. He stumbles through the door, shutting and locking it behind him before he falls onto his bed and into my arms with his eyes closed. "Hey, Robin." I laugh at this.

"Too tiered to even wonder greet me properly?" He lifts his head from my chest and kisses my chin before flopping down again. "I bet you were sore all over when you woke up. Just going to sleep is not going to help your muscles. You need to stretch them out before you relax."

"Don't make me move, Robin." He begs, clinging to my arms with whatever strength he has left in him, which is not much compared to his normal strength. "I ache in places I did not even knew existed."

"So what did you do today that would make you hurt so much?"

"Garcia started me off with weapon training today, since I mastered all the spells yesterday. I never want to see a sharp metal object for as long as I live." He groans and hugs me, "What were you doing…?"

"I came here as soon as I woke up. There really is nothing else to do for me now. My maker should be gone, or at least I hope he is gone and I have stopped drinking blood. If worse comes to worse…I could always drink animal blood." I feel Ivan shiver in my arms, "It is not as bad as you would think, not as good as human blood…You don't want to hear this."

"It is a part of you, Robin. I do not mind. I want to know everything about you, everything that you tell me is important." To love someone so much that you do not care for anyone else…is that such a sin. To someone love unconditionally, you forget all else and only worry about that one person, your own happiness forgotten. Untrue, you happiness lies with that person solely. To make him happy, to keep him safe is my only duty in the world now. Nothing else can make me happier.

Alex's words are still ringing in my ears, like a cacophony of bells. How could someone like him know about something like this? I never thought it possible…Why is he on my mind now? I should just forget about him and continue my life as it is going now, with Ivan. Whenever I think about him, though, my heart begins to pound with something like…fear. An all-consuming fear. I feel weak for some reason. What have I been working for all these years? He is still far stronger than I am. It was all for nothing. Wasted deaths, hundreds of bodies lay behind me and I cannot be forgiven for that. It is a great misdeed.

"Robin…" I had thought he fallen asleep in my arms again.

"Hmm?"

"You only killed people who were killing other people. Was it such a crime to kill them before they killed anyone else? You were saving so many lives by killing that one person. I fail to see the bad in that." He lifts his head from my chest and looks up at me, "But you know…no matter what you did in your past, even if you are unwilling to tell me about it, I do not care. I can only see the present you and for now, that is all that matters. I like you as you are now, I feel in love with you and I cannot go back. I do not want to go back to a life without you, not knowing you, not having met you. I may not understand what you are going through, what you had to go through but that is over now."

"I know…but the things I did are hard to forget. No matter how hard I try, they will always be with me. They say the only thing that is eternal is the human sole, what happens when they body becomes eternal as well. We are defying God's will merely by living as we do. We take the lives of others; we walk the earth longer than we were ever meant to." I slip my hand down Ivan's shirt, pulling on the silver chain hanging around his neck until the cross falls out into my open palm. "I wonder what she would say to me now, if she could see me. Her soul must be laughing at me from wherever she is now. Lupe was a very religious person…things like this…she might have disapproved. Our relationship…she would disapprove of that as well."

"If she would not be able to accept this, this thing that has become a part of you, she must not have been a very good person. A heart as cold as to turn away a family member just because his physical body has changed, does not deserve to feel the warmth of someone's love." Those are very bold words, perhaps that is one of the many reasons I fell for him in the first place. "As for our relationship, if your sister could say something against us, if she were still around to say that she did not approve of the two of us being together, would you leave me? Just as easily as that, would you left me is she were able to say something about our relationship?"

He seems so worried about it, but I suppose he needs to know where he stands. I respect my sister but I love Ivan. Someone once told me it was hard to tell the difference between respect and love, that they can sometimes feel the same and you do not know whether you are in love with someone or merely respect them greatly. I know the difference. My sister will never compare to Ivan, he is more important to me than she ever was, or ever will be. My heart has recognized Ivan and I cannot look back. Even before I met him, my thoughts were never on my family, they were usually with Alex. As much as I hate him, as much as I despise him for what he did to my parents, and me, I cannot help but feel respect for him. He has power; he has strength that I cannot even begin to imagine and most of all, he has his freedom, or from what I have seen, it appears that he does. What binds him to this earth, though? Why does he continue to still live one when many of the old ones have released their souls from their bodies and forsaken this eternal life.

"I would not have left you, regardless of what my sister were to say to me if she were still alive. I suppose you are right, though, my sister might not have been so cold as to just abandon me just because I was turned into a vampire. I still cannot help but wonder sometimes…" I sigh and lean back against the pillows of Ivan's bed, dropping the cross to his chest and wrapping my arms around him again. "If the plague had not taken them and my maker had not killed my parents, I would have had to watch them grow old…how would I have been able to explain to them when they notice that I do not age and fear the sunlight? In a sense, I think the way things happened…is better than what most vampires have to go through. Watching your loved ones grown old and die before your very eyes in rapid motion.

"And what is time to a vampire? We do not age, we merely watch the world as things change and progress…the nature of humans never changes. We fear that which we do not understand, that which we cannot control, conform to our will, obey our every beck and call. It has been said that you do not truly appreciate something until you have lost it, until you no longer have that thing in your possession. I suspect that they mean life as well." I smile to myself, leaning back and looking out of the window, "It may take a while, before the romance of this immortal life begins to lose its glory, its grace and dignity but you do feel it eventually. If you are not strong enough to handle it, you will be driven insane by the lose. You wish for your old life more than anything…grow tiered of watching people grow old and die around you…that is why many of there are so few old vampires out there. I am alive because I hunt after my maker, or used to. I suppose my maker is a special case, he has something else to live for…something that kept him here for so long…"

"You truly do seem concerned about his recent appearance. Are you worried that he plans to do something to try to hurt you?" I shrug my shoulders.

"I always thought he would try to get me to join him if our paths ever crossed again. I wondered…what could have made him chose to turn me in the first place, what drove a vampire to create another, to draw another person from a mortal life and give them this existence. He could have been lonely but he does not seem the type to feel such emotions. I never stopped to think about it, I was always worried about losing track of my maker once I decided to follow him. Now that I met you and have spent time with you, I realize just how lonely I was before." He hugs me tighter before flinching. "Ah, don't move if it hurts so much."

He shivers slightly in my arms, "I am sorry. I just wish that there were something more for you that I could do. When we first met, you seemed so sad, like you were lost and alone. I…I wanted to know what could have possible made you look that way, what could have happened to you to make you look so sad. My problems are nothing compared to yours. My grandmother and father's deaths, everyone lying to me…I was just being selfish thinking that it was such a big deal." He shakes his head, looking up at me, "It is really nothing when I see what happened to you. Your whole family died when you were alive and you chased after one person for so long…I…" I grab his chin before he can turn away and pull him closer, kissing his lips before smiling.

"It was a big deal, you should not have been put through such an ordeal, Ivan. It could have put you in a dangerous situation, wondering around Sendai without anyone with you. If you had known that you had the ability to become a hunter and if you had known that there were at least a few vampires left in Sendai…I doubt you would have gone out alone, or at least paid more attention to where you were going." I laugh as he starts to blush, "It is best not to think about it too much. You should get some sleep, I am sure you will have to go through the same training tomorrow so it would be best to sleep as much as possible while you can, right?" He tightens his grip on me.

"But this is the only time we are able to see each other. I do not think it is fair to you that I fall asleep every time you come to visit me. My training should be over soon and the others are returning from Nagasaki in a couple of days. They might let me leave on my own and I could come see you again." I ruffle his hair, smiling down at him weakly.

"You know I do not want you to do that, Ivan. Sendai is not safe, no where is safe for a hunter really, especially if they go out on their own. I will admit that I, myself, have killed some hunters. I am ashamed of that but…I cannot ask to be forgive for such a crime." He looks up at me, blinking.

"Who did you…?"

"I don't know. It was a small group that I ran into before I met you, if you really wish to know, I suggest that you ask that Garcia person." I had to admit it, no matter how much the truth hurt him. He wanted to know things about me, everything about me. Things have gotten so complicated lately.

"I…I don't blame you. Everyone dies eventually, right?" He was looking for an excuse for what I had done. "You won't kill anyone else, will you? There is no reason for you to kill anyone else. I do not want anyone to be able to call you a murderer. You don't want to be like your maker, do you?"

"You know just what to say to me, don't you?" He grins up at me, blushing slightly. He turns around in my arms and looks out the window, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Ah! Robin, look! It's snowing!" He jumps out of my arms and off the bed, almost tripping from the sudden movement but he makes it to the window in one piece, placing his hands on the windowsill and leaning against the glass. "I wonder if I can skip training tomorrow to go out and play in the snow…"

"I am sure you will have plenty of opportunities to go out into the snow once you finish your training." I whisper as I leave the bed and walk up behind him, slipping my arms around his waist. "And do not ask to go outside now, there is not enough snow on the ground and I am sure it is freezing out there."

"You have to leave in this, don't you? Why don't you stay here? You know, just for tonight." I catch him looking up at my reflection in the window and I sigh, shaking my head.

"Someone could catch me and then it would all be over. I do not exactly want to kill everyone that tries to come after me. Even for just one night, it would be far too risky for us to do such a thing. Don't worry, we will be able to spend more time with each other later." He shakes his head and turns around to look at me better. "Ivan, I do not wish for you to get into any trouble with your friends and it is important for you to be here. You said you wanted to become a better hunter than your father, didn't you? Just hang in there for a little longer. If you do, I will be able to give you a reward for all your hard work." I smile as he lowers his head, trying to hide the blush that had stained his cheeks. "Heh, well, if that's what you want…I was thinking of something else…but either way is fine with me."

He lifts his head quickly, still blushing, "Ah! You-you were thinking of something else? I-I'm sorry…I just assumed that you would want to…because I really would not mind if we were to…um…d-do that again. It hurt a little a first but I got used to it." The only thing that could make Ivan cuter than he is right now is if he had wings and was turned into a cherub, of course…the latter would not be very fun for me, now would it? I smirk at the thought and kiss his nose.

"Well, since it would be celebrate your accomplishment, I suppose it could be anything you wanted it to be, right?" I let out a sigh, "I guess Japan is as good as any place for me to stay. Since the academy is here, there are not many vampires foolish enough to stay here long enough to be detected by the hunters."

"And you?" I shrug my shoulders.

"I'm not scared, besides, I have a very important reason to stay here and I do intend to stay for as long as you want me to." He lifts his arms to my neck, wrapping them around and pulling me down to bring out lips together. He smiles shyly as he pulls away.

"I never want you to leave me, Robin." I bit down on my bottom lip and turn away from him, looking out the window, watching the thick snowflakes falling from the blacked sky and sticking to the ground. As much as I want to stay with him…as much as I want to be with him, I cannot stay with him forever. I do not want to watch him grow old without me. I do not want to say goodbye to another loved one. Warm blood stained tears stream from my eyes, leaving a pale trail of blood down my cheeks. He blinks up at me, a mixture of pain and confusion in his eyes. "What's wrong? Did I say something to upset you?"

I wipe the tears off on my sleeve, keeping my eyes away from Ivan's, "No, it's nothing, really. I was just thinking about something." It might have been unfair to him but I could not let him know what I was thinking just now. It was hard to put into words and I did not want to be rejected by him and I am sure that he would turn me down if I asked him to become a vampire just for me. He wants to become a hunter and I do not want to take his life away from him just so he could be with me. It changes people and I do not want to change him from the way he is now.

-TBC-

This was just the first part. This chapter is going to be longer than the others are since I need to cover a months time in it. So be patience. After this, I plan to work on a sort of sequel to Water and Wind where the characters children set out, I'm not sure how good it will turn out but I will just have to see after I finish this and get started on the first chapter of it. Read and review please. Also, thank you, Midnyte Wolf. I am sorry to hear that you have had an awful past few weeks, hopefully the next update to this will cheer you up since I go into a little more detail of Robin and Ivan's little…love scene.