A/N- In this chapter you shall all meet my beloved boyfriend. Just remember that that was NOT him in the sequel... it was some other guy. My beloved was in the first movie, not the second. The sequel to The Santa Clause is an evil Disney moneymaking conspiracy and I hate it. The first movie, now there's good stuff.
"Can you just finish the story?" Peter Jackson asked.
"I don't wanna!" whined the booming voice from the sky.
"Well, you sure aren't making that obvious."
"Hey now. The only reason I haven't sent you back to the French barricade is because of Sam, buddy-boy," threatened the booming voice from the sky.
Remembering his brief visit to said barricades, Peter Jackson quickly closed his mouth.
"Anyway... Gandalf refused to let anyone into the tomb...
Leaving the shiny magic light to seal the entrance, Gandalf hopped onto Shadowfax and rode away.
Five seconds later, Gandalf was in the clearing with the stone trolls... you know the place. Under the shadow of one of the creepy monsters, he dismounted Shadowfax. "I'b way ahead of those idferior horses," Gandalf sighed. "I'll take a dap."
So he lay down under a tree and went to sleep.
A tortoise came running up. Upon seeing Gandalf asleep, he cackled insanely and continued on, shouting "Slow and steady!"
A minute later a sound like jingle bells could be heard. An elf with dreadlocks appeared in the meadow. No, not a Rivendell elf. This is a North Pole elf. And he's sexy. And I love him. And-
"Plot!" Peter Jackson shouted.
Anyway, the entrance of Bernard didn't awaken the wizard either. The head elf looked around, saw Gandalf asleep, and then randomly decided to go see what his cousin Legolas was doing.
Actually, Legolas was his second cousin once removed, or first cousin twice removed, on Bernard's mother's side. So Legolas was his great-aunt's great grandson's-
"Plot!"
So Bernard went to Rivendell with his sexy dissolving into sparks trick. He found the place in an uproar. Everyone still wanted into the mysterious elf tomb, but Gandalf's shiny light was actually working. Random characters were hurling themselves at the barrier and then falling over backwards on impact.
"What's the problem?" Bernard asked the nearest character.
"Good evening, little master. What can I do for you?"
Bernard stared at the man (who happened to be his same height) for a second. "Try answering the question."
"A man just left. Big gray beard, pointed hat-"
Bernard walked away.
"Hey!" Mr. Butterbur called after him.
"Butterbeer!" Hermione shouted. She grabbed Mr. Butterbur and ran off to Hogsmeade.
Bernard raised an eyebrow.
Harry Potter saw a crowd of Nazgûl and passed out.
"Am I in another one of Erin's fanfics?" Bernard asked the sky.
"Plot!" came the voice of Peter Jackson.
Bernard sighed.
"Can you just finish the story?" Peter Jackson asked.
"I don't wanna!" whined the booming voice from the sky.
"Well, you sure aren't making that obvious."
"Hey now. The only reason I haven't sent you back to the French barricade is because of Sam, buddy-boy," threatened the booming voice from the sky.
Remembering his brief visit to said barricades, Peter Jackson quickly closed his mouth.
"Anyway... Gandalf refused to let anyone into the tomb...
Leaving the shiny magic light to seal the entrance, Gandalf hopped onto Shadowfax and rode away.
Five seconds later, Gandalf was in the clearing with the stone trolls... you know the place. Under the shadow of one of the creepy monsters, he dismounted Shadowfax. "I'b way ahead of those idferior horses," Gandalf sighed. "I'll take a dap."
So he lay down under a tree and went to sleep.
A tortoise came running up. Upon seeing Gandalf asleep, he cackled insanely and continued on, shouting "Slow and steady!"
A minute later a sound like jingle bells could be heard. An elf with dreadlocks appeared in the meadow. No, not a Rivendell elf. This is a North Pole elf. And he's sexy. And I love him. And-
"Plot!" Peter Jackson shouted.
Anyway, the entrance of Bernard didn't awaken the wizard either. The head elf looked around, saw Gandalf asleep, and then randomly decided to go see what his cousin Legolas was doing.
Actually, Legolas was his second cousin once removed, or first cousin twice removed, on Bernard's mother's side. So Legolas was his great-aunt's great grandson's-
"Plot!"
So Bernard went to Rivendell with his sexy dissolving into sparks trick. He found the place in an uproar. Everyone still wanted into the mysterious elf tomb, but Gandalf's shiny light was actually working. Random characters were hurling themselves at the barrier and then falling over backwards on impact.
"What's the problem?" Bernard asked the nearest character.
"Good evening, little master. What can I do for you?"
Bernard stared at the man (who happened to be his same height) for a second. "Try answering the question."
"A man just left. Big gray beard, pointed hat-"
Bernard walked away.
"Hey!" Mr. Butterbur called after him.
"Butterbeer!" Hermione shouted. She grabbed Mr. Butterbur and ran off to Hogsmeade.
Bernard raised an eyebrow.
Harry Potter saw a crowd of Nazgûl and passed out.
"Am I in another one of Erin's fanfics?" Bernard asked the sky.
"Plot!" came the voice of Peter Jackson.
Bernard sighed.