A/N: Hallo everyone! I read some spoilers and now I feel inspired! All right, thanks to the reviewers. Let's go!
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Lane stared open-mouthed at Rory for a long time, finally Rory broke the silence. "Are you going to say anything?"
"Um," Lane said. "I-I...Why are you going?"
"Did you not just hear my problem?"
"You said you...you know, with Dean; but I still don't see why you have to go."
Rory stood up from the bench. "I can't keep seeing him around here, especially if he chooses Lindsey over me, and it's too weird."
"Well, Rory, you have to talk to him to see how he feels. By the way, how do you feel?"
Rory looked at Lane. "What do you mean how do I feel?"
Lane shrugged. "Do you love him?"
"What?"
"Do you love him? You're trying to avoid him which is making me wonder if it was just a random thing. An old flame."
"Lane, he was my first boyfriend! My first kiss, my first love and my first heartbreak and now..."
"Your first time," Lane said sadly. "Is that why you did it in the first place? Because you wanted him to be your first for everything?"
"No! I just...I don't know, Lane." Rory sat back down with a sigh. "I'm confused. I mean, it was comfortable."
"Of course it was comfortable. It was Dean. He's familiar, and you love the fact that he loves you. But do you love him, Rory?" Lane said sternly.
Rory stared at her feet and thought about Lane's question. Do I love Dean? She asked herself. Am I just fooling myself and pretending that I love him? What would I do if he chose me over Lindsey? I'd probably tell him to work it out. But if he chose Lindsey, I'd most likely break down and never want to see him again. Rory gasped slightly. I don't love Dean. I've just been using him. Oh my God, I'm a terrible person! Rory quickly stood up.
"Rory?"
"I have to go, Lane. I have to make sure I don't hurt Dean anymore," Rory called as she ran away.
Lane watched her go. She stood up with a sigh and softly said, "This sucks."
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Lorelai was driving to Luke's for lunch when she saw someone run across the street in front of her. She slammed on her brakes and looked at the girl she almost hit. She gasped and opened the door quickly. "Rory! Are you ok?" She said while running over to her daughter. Rory had tears running down her face and she was out of breath. When Lorelai walked up to her, she collapsed in her arms.
"Mom! I'm the worst person in the world," Rory said with her head in Lorelai's chest.
"What are you talking about? Rory, honey, what's wrong?" She ran her hand over Rory's hair until she calmed down.
Rory looked up at her mother with shining eyes. "I don't love Dean, Mom. I can't believe it. I want to so bad, but I can't." New tears spilled over her face as Lorelai pulled her back into her embrace.
"Oh, sweets, it's ok. Just calm down. All you have to do is tell him."
Rory quickly pulled away from Lorelai and looked at her. "I can't do that! I can't hurt him again! All he's ever done is love me and I end up hurting him! Why can't I just love him, Mom? Why doesn't he learn that I'm incapable of loving him?"
"Rory! Don't you think for one second of blaming yourself. It's not your fault you don't love him. You can't choose who you fall for. You should know this, you fell for Jess."
"Mom, this isn't about Jess. This is about that fact that I can't keep hurting Dean when all he wants to do is love me!"
"I know," Lorelai said while petting Rory's hair. "Look, you got that from me. You want to love someone but you can't. Hello, does Max ring any bells?"
Rory looked down at her feet. "You did want to love him."
"Yeah, I was going to marry him. God, Ror, I thought that my life was set. But I realized that you can't make yourself fall in love. So, you have to tell Dean, that you want to love, with all your heart, but your heart won't let you. Ok?"
"Is that what you told Max?" Rory said while wiping her wet cheeks.
"No, but something close to that." Lorelai hugged Rory. "Sweetie, I know it's hard, but you're not incapable of finding love, you're only nineteen. I still haven't found my true love."
"What are you talking about? Of course you have, it just took you tons of years to act on it," Rory said with a small smile.
"Rory Leigh!" Lorelai said while lightly pushing Rory away. "I have only gone one official date with Luke. I don't know if he's the love of my life."
"Trust me, Mom. He is."
Lorelai smiled. "You don't know that, but to be honest, there is definitely something there." She looked at Rory. "Now, you go let Dean down easy. He'll understand, sweets."
Rory hugged her mom once more. "I love you, Mom."
"I love you, too, Rory."
They released their hold on each other and continued on their own journey.
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Lorelai walked a nearly empty Luke's. "What's going on here? I thought it was the lunch rush?" she asked sitting down at the counter.
Luke placed a coffee mug in front of her. "That's over already. Why is there a big water spot on your shirt?"
Lorelai looked down and looked at the spot where Rory released her anguish. She looked up at him. "Rory was having trouble."
"Ok and that spot would be..."
"Tears."
"Right," Luke said with a nod.
"So, how's Jake working for you?"
"He's a machine. We went through the rush really quickly. Barely any back up or waiting around."
Lorelai grinned. "Good, now you have to repay me for sending him your way."
"I'm not sure I like what you're implying."
Lorelai quickly looked around the diner for any familiar faces but didn't see any. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him to the storage room. Once they got inside Luke closed and locked the door. When he turned around to face Lorelai she had a huge grin on her face. "You know, I think I'm going to like keeping this a secret," she said as she walked toward him.
"You and me both," Luke said as he grabbed her waist and caught her lips with his. The kiss started out soft, but became more passionate. Luke's hat had fallen off and Lorelai was running one of her hands through his hair. Luke's hands were roaming over Lorelai's back. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and they quickly broke apart. Luke grabbed his hat off of the floor and tried to catch his breath before opening the door. Lorelai was trying to cool down so her face didn't look so flushed. He opened the door and saw Caesar looking at him. "What do you want, Caesar?"
"Someone's looking for you," Caesar simply said before walking back to the front of the diner.
Luke looked at Lorelai with a small smile before walking out to the diner. Lorelai heard a woman scream with delight in the front. Lorelai fixed her hair and straightened her clothes before walking out to the front. As she was walking out, she heard a woman's voice talk excitedly about something. Then she heard Luke laugh. What is going on? Lorelai asked herself. When she got to the front, she saw a woman with long blond hair talking with Luke. All she saw was her back because the mysterious woman wasn't facing Lorelai.
Luke looked up and saw Lorelai come out of the store room. "Hey, Meg, I want you to meet Lorelai," he said turning his friend around.
Meg grinned widely when she saw Lorelai. "Hi Lorelai! Oh my gosh, aren't you pretty?" Meg said with a slight Southern accent.
Lorelai shook Meg's outstretched hand. "Hi, Meg," Lorelai said with a smile.
"So, how long have you known Luke?" Meg asked.
"Uh, well, I think it's been about sixteen years."
Meg gasped. "Me too!"
"You're kidding," Lorelai said with a smile that didn't go up to her eyes.
"Yep, well, I knew him when Lizzie got herself knocked up! Do you know Liz?"
Lorelai nodded. "Yeah, I actually went to her wedding."
"Do you think that's going to last very long?" Meg asked.
Lorelai shrugged. "I hope so. She seems very happy with TJ."
"That's his name? Jesus, I swear she ruined her life when she married Jimmy."
"Well, it may not have worked out with Jimmy, but I think it's going to work out with TJ. But, I tell you she didn't do her best with Jess."
"Who's Jess?"
"Her son."
"You know about him?"
"Yeah, he moved here and he dated my daughter for awhile."
Meg laughed. "That's impossible! Her kid has to be about twenty, now."
"Well, so is mine."
Meg looked Lorelai up and down. "You look good for you age."
"No, I had Rory when I was sixteen."
Meg gasped. "You didn't terminate the pregnancy?"
Lorelai shook her head getting slightly angry. "No, I love my daughter very much."
"Do you know who the father is?"
"Excuse me? Do you think that I'm the kind of girl to jump in bed with random guys? I know her father!"
"So, you're married to him?" Meg asked.
"No, he's married to someone else."
"But you were married to him, right?"
"No. I never married him. I left him when Rory was one. She and I moved here."
"You raised a kid on your own?"
"What are you getting at?" Lorelai asked angrily. The bell on the door rang.
"Girls aren't supposed to have babies so young."
"Well, it happens every day, so go with it."
"Does your kid even know her father?"
"Of course she knows who I am," a voice said.
Lorelai, Meg, and Luke looked at Christopher who was standing in the doorway with a confused expression on his face.
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Rory walked into the Dragonfly Inn. She looked around for Dean but didn't see him by the front desk or waiting room. She walked over to Michel who was at the counter. "Hey Michel, have you seen Dean?"
Michel looked up. "No, I have not. I am not supposed to keep tabs on the Jolly Green Giant."
Rory frowned. "Ok, thanks." She walked over to the library but didn't find Dean. When she didn't find him in the dining room or kitchen, she decided to check the bedrooms. She checked in every room, except the last one. When she opened the door she saw Dean standing on a chair fixing the hanging lamp. He looked over to the door to see who entered and gave her a shy smile. Rory gave him and uneasy one. He stepped down from the chair and walked over to her as she shut the door. "Hi," she said nervously.
"Hey."
She walked over to the bed and sat down. He went over and sat down next to her. He opened his mouth to speak, but she put her hand on his mouth. "I really need to tell you this before you say anything." He nodded. She dropped her hand and said. "Well, Dean, I can't do this. I can't be with you."
"But Rory," Dean started to protest.
"Stop. Dean." She looked him in the eyes. "I want to love you so badly, but I can't," she said as her voice started to crack. "My heart just isn't in it. I was thinking in my head that I love you. It's not my head that's supposed to do the talking, it's supposed to be my heart. Dean, you're married. I should have really thought about that before anything happened. It didn't really hit me until my mom told me I was your mistress." Tears started to form in her eyes. "I don't want to be the person who ruins someone's marriage. I can't. Dean, I'm sorry I fell out of love with you in the first place. I don't know why. I wish I could love you again, but I can't fool myself anymore." Dean's eyes filled up with tears as well and Rory's fell. "I want to love you with all of my heart," she whispered, "but my heart won't let me." She sighed as she silently cried.
"Rory." Dean's voice was weak. "I decided to work it out with Lindsey. I haven't told her yet, but now that I know nothing can happen, I'm going to try to save my marriage."
"And I've decided to go to Europe to get over you."
"I thought you said you didn't love me," Dean said with a hint of anger in his voice.
"I'm going to get over you, period. I'm ending this now. I'm moving on so I can be happy. I can't be hung up on you. My trip will be good for both of us," Rory said as she wiped her cheeks. She stood up. "Goodbye Dean."
"Rory, wait," Dean said standing up, too. Rory didn't stop, though. She just kept on walking out the door and out of sight. Dean knew he would never be able to be with her again.
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A/N: Ok, next chapter will be Rory telling Lorelai she's leaving, confrontations with Chris and Lorelai, and Meg and Luke. Please review! Au revoir for now!
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Lane stared open-mouthed at Rory for a long time, finally Rory broke the silence. "Are you going to say anything?"
"Um," Lane said. "I-I...Why are you going?"
"Did you not just hear my problem?"
"You said you...you know, with Dean; but I still don't see why you have to go."
Rory stood up from the bench. "I can't keep seeing him around here, especially if he chooses Lindsey over me, and it's too weird."
"Well, Rory, you have to talk to him to see how he feels. By the way, how do you feel?"
Rory looked at Lane. "What do you mean how do I feel?"
Lane shrugged. "Do you love him?"
"What?"
"Do you love him? You're trying to avoid him which is making me wonder if it was just a random thing. An old flame."
"Lane, he was my first boyfriend! My first kiss, my first love and my first heartbreak and now..."
"Your first time," Lane said sadly. "Is that why you did it in the first place? Because you wanted him to be your first for everything?"
"No! I just...I don't know, Lane." Rory sat back down with a sigh. "I'm confused. I mean, it was comfortable."
"Of course it was comfortable. It was Dean. He's familiar, and you love the fact that he loves you. But do you love him, Rory?" Lane said sternly.
Rory stared at her feet and thought about Lane's question. Do I love Dean? She asked herself. Am I just fooling myself and pretending that I love him? What would I do if he chose me over Lindsey? I'd probably tell him to work it out. But if he chose Lindsey, I'd most likely break down and never want to see him again. Rory gasped slightly. I don't love Dean. I've just been using him. Oh my God, I'm a terrible person! Rory quickly stood up.
"Rory?"
"I have to go, Lane. I have to make sure I don't hurt Dean anymore," Rory called as she ran away.
Lane watched her go. She stood up with a sigh and softly said, "This sucks."
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Lorelai was driving to Luke's for lunch when she saw someone run across the street in front of her. She slammed on her brakes and looked at the girl she almost hit. She gasped and opened the door quickly. "Rory! Are you ok?" She said while running over to her daughter. Rory had tears running down her face and she was out of breath. When Lorelai walked up to her, she collapsed in her arms.
"Mom! I'm the worst person in the world," Rory said with her head in Lorelai's chest.
"What are you talking about? Rory, honey, what's wrong?" She ran her hand over Rory's hair until she calmed down.
Rory looked up at her mother with shining eyes. "I don't love Dean, Mom. I can't believe it. I want to so bad, but I can't." New tears spilled over her face as Lorelai pulled her back into her embrace.
"Oh, sweets, it's ok. Just calm down. All you have to do is tell him."
Rory quickly pulled away from Lorelai and looked at her. "I can't do that! I can't hurt him again! All he's ever done is love me and I end up hurting him! Why can't I just love him, Mom? Why doesn't he learn that I'm incapable of loving him?"
"Rory! Don't you think for one second of blaming yourself. It's not your fault you don't love him. You can't choose who you fall for. You should know this, you fell for Jess."
"Mom, this isn't about Jess. This is about that fact that I can't keep hurting Dean when all he wants to do is love me!"
"I know," Lorelai said while petting Rory's hair. "Look, you got that from me. You want to love someone but you can't. Hello, does Max ring any bells?"
Rory looked down at her feet. "You did want to love him."
"Yeah, I was going to marry him. God, Ror, I thought that my life was set. But I realized that you can't make yourself fall in love. So, you have to tell Dean, that you want to love, with all your heart, but your heart won't let you. Ok?"
"Is that what you told Max?" Rory said while wiping her wet cheeks.
"No, but something close to that." Lorelai hugged Rory. "Sweetie, I know it's hard, but you're not incapable of finding love, you're only nineteen. I still haven't found my true love."
"What are you talking about? Of course you have, it just took you tons of years to act on it," Rory said with a small smile.
"Rory Leigh!" Lorelai said while lightly pushing Rory away. "I have only gone one official date with Luke. I don't know if he's the love of my life."
"Trust me, Mom. He is."
Lorelai smiled. "You don't know that, but to be honest, there is definitely something there." She looked at Rory. "Now, you go let Dean down easy. He'll understand, sweets."
Rory hugged her mom once more. "I love you, Mom."
"I love you, too, Rory."
They released their hold on each other and continued on their own journey.
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Lorelai walked a nearly empty Luke's. "What's going on here? I thought it was the lunch rush?" she asked sitting down at the counter.
Luke placed a coffee mug in front of her. "That's over already. Why is there a big water spot on your shirt?"
Lorelai looked down and looked at the spot where Rory released her anguish. She looked up at him. "Rory was having trouble."
"Ok and that spot would be..."
"Tears."
"Right," Luke said with a nod.
"So, how's Jake working for you?"
"He's a machine. We went through the rush really quickly. Barely any back up or waiting around."
Lorelai grinned. "Good, now you have to repay me for sending him your way."
"I'm not sure I like what you're implying."
Lorelai quickly looked around the diner for any familiar faces but didn't see any. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him to the storage room. Once they got inside Luke closed and locked the door. When he turned around to face Lorelai she had a huge grin on her face. "You know, I think I'm going to like keeping this a secret," she said as she walked toward him.
"You and me both," Luke said as he grabbed her waist and caught her lips with his. The kiss started out soft, but became more passionate. Luke's hat had fallen off and Lorelai was running one of her hands through his hair. Luke's hands were roaming over Lorelai's back. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and they quickly broke apart. Luke grabbed his hat off of the floor and tried to catch his breath before opening the door. Lorelai was trying to cool down so her face didn't look so flushed. He opened the door and saw Caesar looking at him. "What do you want, Caesar?"
"Someone's looking for you," Caesar simply said before walking back to the front of the diner.
Luke looked at Lorelai with a small smile before walking out to the diner. Lorelai heard a woman scream with delight in the front. Lorelai fixed her hair and straightened her clothes before walking out to the front. As she was walking out, she heard a woman's voice talk excitedly about something. Then she heard Luke laugh. What is going on? Lorelai asked herself. When she got to the front, she saw a woman with long blond hair talking with Luke. All she saw was her back because the mysterious woman wasn't facing Lorelai.
Luke looked up and saw Lorelai come out of the store room. "Hey, Meg, I want you to meet Lorelai," he said turning his friend around.
Meg grinned widely when she saw Lorelai. "Hi Lorelai! Oh my gosh, aren't you pretty?" Meg said with a slight Southern accent.
Lorelai shook Meg's outstretched hand. "Hi, Meg," Lorelai said with a smile.
"So, how long have you known Luke?" Meg asked.
"Uh, well, I think it's been about sixteen years."
Meg gasped. "Me too!"
"You're kidding," Lorelai said with a smile that didn't go up to her eyes.
"Yep, well, I knew him when Lizzie got herself knocked up! Do you know Liz?"
Lorelai nodded. "Yeah, I actually went to her wedding."
"Do you think that's going to last very long?" Meg asked.
Lorelai shrugged. "I hope so. She seems very happy with TJ."
"That's his name? Jesus, I swear she ruined her life when she married Jimmy."
"Well, it may not have worked out with Jimmy, but I think it's going to work out with TJ. But, I tell you she didn't do her best with Jess."
"Who's Jess?"
"Her son."
"You know about him?"
"Yeah, he moved here and he dated my daughter for awhile."
Meg laughed. "That's impossible! Her kid has to be about twenty, now."
"Well, so is mine."
Meg looked Lorelai up and down. "You look good for you age."
"No, I had Rory when I was sixteen."
Meg gasped. "You didn't terminate the pregnancy?"
Lorelai shook her head getting slightly angry. "No, I love my daughter very much."
"Do you know who the father is?"
"Excuse me? Do you think that I'm the kind of girl to jump in bed with random guys? I know her father!"
"So, you're married to him?" Meg asked.
"No, he's married to someone else."
"But you were married to him, right?"
"No. I never married him. I left him when Rory was one. She and I moved here."
"You raised a kid on your own?"
"What are you getting at?" Lorelai asked angrily. The bell on the door rang.
"Girls aren't supposed to have babies so young."
"Well, it happens every day, so go with it."
"Does your kid even know her father?"
"Of course she knows who I am," a voice said.
Lorelai, Meg, and Luke looked at Christopher who was standing in the doorway with a confused expression on his face.
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Rory walked into the Dragonfly Inn. She looked around for Dean but didn't see him by the front desk or waiting room. She walked over to Michel who was at the counter. "Hey Michel, have you seen Dean?"
Michel looked up. "No, I have not. I am not supposed to keep tabs on the Jolly Green Giant."
Rory frowned. "Ok, thanks." She walked over to the library but didn't find Dean. When she didn't find him in the dining room or kitchen, she decided to check the bedrooms. She checked in every room, except the last one. When she opened the door she saw Dean standing on a chair fixing the hanging lamp. He looked over to the door to see who entered and gave her a shy smile. Rory gave him and uneasy one. He stepped down from the chair and walked over to her as she shut the door. "Hi," she said nervously.
"Hey."
She walked over to the bed and sat down. He went over and sat down next to her. He opened his mouth to speak, but she put her hand on his mouth. "I really need to tell you this before you say anything." He nodded. She dropped her hand and said. "Well, Dean, I can't do this. I can't be with you."
"But Rory," Dean started to protest.
"Stop. Dean." She looked him in the eyes. "I want to love you so badly, but I can't," she said as her voice started to crack. "My heart just isn't in it. I was thinking in my head that I love you. It's not my head that's supposed to do the talking, it's supposed to be my heart. Dean, you're married. I should have really thought about that before anything happened. It didn't really hit me until my mom told me I was your mistress." Tears started to form in her eyes. "I don't want to be the person who ruins someone's marriage. I can't. Dean, I'm sorry I fell out of love with you in the first place. I don't know why. I wish I could love you again, but I can't fool myself anymore." Dean's eyes filled up with tears as well and Rory's fell. "I want to love you with all of my heart," she whispered, "but my heart won't let me." She sighed as she silently cried.
"Rory." Dean's voice was weak. "I decided to work it out with Lindsey. I haven't told her yet, but now that I know nothing can happen, I'm going to try to save my marriage."
"And I've decided to go to Europe to get over you."
"I thought you said you didn't love me," Dean said with a hint of anger in his voice.
"I'm going to get over you, period. I'm ending this now. I'm moving on so I can be happy. I can't be hung up on you. My trip will be good for both of us," Rory said as she wiped her cheeks. She stood up. "Goodbye Dean."
"Rory, wait," Dean said standing up, too. Rory didn't stop, though. She just kept on walking out the door and out of sight. Dean knew he would never be able to be with her again.
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A/N: Ok, next chapter will be Rory telling Lorelai she's leaving, confrontations with Chris and Lorelai, and Meg and Luke. Please review! Au revoir for now!