"Quick! Go back to Rivendell!" the Authoress shouted.
One sexy-spark trip later, Bernard stood before the large crowd of Middle Earthlings and Jack Sparrow.
"Captain!"
And Captain Jack Sparrow.
"What were we talking about?" Bernard asked.
"Uh... global warming?" suggested Shelob.
"You can't talk either!" Sauron shouted.
Glóin's ghost piped up. "Dead dwarves!"
"Yeah, that. Well, does anyone know why?"
"Big gray beard, pointed hat..." Mr. Butterbur began.
"Come back!" Hermione shouted, dragging him back to Hogsmeade.
Frodo cocked his head. "Gandalf?"
"Yes! He knows something!" the new-and-improved blue-haired Merry shouted.
"But where'd he go?" Gamete asked.
The readers wonder who Gamete is.
The Authoress points out that she wrote this chapter while in biology class.
The biologically educated readers roll their eyes.
Peter Jackson did not shout 'plot,' but the Authoress realized that she was off on a tangent again.
A little hovering lightbulb above Bernard's head turned on.
"What's that?" Glorfindel asked, pointing at the lightbulb.
"Erin..." Bernard said imploringly.
The lightbulb disappeared.
"Did Gandalf ride a white horse?" Bernard asked the crowd.
The Rohirrim nodded.
"You left already!" Haldir shouted.
The Rohirrim disappeared in a poof of smoke.
"I know where he is!" Bernard announced.
There was much rejoicing.
"But he's a long way off."
There was no rejoicing.
"How can we get there?" asked Gamete.
The readers roll their eyes.
A lightbulb-less idea came to Bernard. He pulled a sexy snow globe out of his sexy bag and shook it... sexily. Within seconds, Santa and his eight reindeer (the Authoress does not believe in Rudolph) landed in front of the crowd.
"Santa," Bernard asked. "Could you get Gandalf the White to come here?"
"Certainly, my sexy head elf!" Santa said jollily.
Bernard shuddered. "Erin... this is getting out of hand."
"I am sorry, oh se... um... likeable one," said the booming voice from the sky.
Santa and his reindeer flew away, returning several minutes later with Gandalf in the back seat. No one knows what happened to Shadowfax.
Jack Sparrow held Gandalf at gunpoint.
"Captain!"
Captain Jack Sparrow held Gandalf at gunpoint.
"Explain yourself," he demanded.
"Why do you care?"
"You killed Elizabeth Swann!"
"Do I didn't... dat was Legolas."
"Oh," Jack Sparrow said, putting the gun away.
"Captain!"
"Oh," Captain Jack Sparrow said, putting the gun away.
Bernard looked at the sky. "Does this story have an actual plot?"
One sexy-spark trip later, Bernard stood before the large crowd of Middle Earthlings and Jack Sparrow.
"Captain!"
And Captain Jack Sparrow.
"What were we talking about?" Bernard asked.
"Uh... global warming?" suggested Shelob.
"You can't talk either!" Sauron shouted.
Glóin's ghost piped up. "Dead dwarves!"
"Yeah, that. Well, does anyone know why?"
"Big gray beard, pointed hat..." Mr. Butterbur began.
"Come back!" Hermione shouted, dragging him back to Hogsmeade.
Frodo cocked his head. "Gandalf?"
"Yes! He knows something!" the new-and-improved blue-haired Merry shouted.
"But where'd he go?" Gamete asked.
The readers wonder who Gamete is.
The Authoress points out that she wrote this chapter while in biology class.
The biologically educated readers roll their eyes.
Peter Jackson did not shout 'plot,' but the Authoress realized that she was off on a tangent again.
A little hovering lightbulb above Bernard's head turned on.
"What's that?" Glorfindel asked, pointing at the lightbulb.
"Erin..." Bernard said imploringly.
The lightbulb disappeared.
"Did Gandalf ride a white horse?" Bernard asked the crowd.
The Rohirrim nodded.
"You left already!" Haldir shouted.
The Rohirrim disappeared in a poof of smoke.
"I know where he is!" Bernard announced.
There was much rejoicing.
"But he's a long way off."
There was no rejoicing.
"How can we get there?" asked Gamete.
The readers roll their eyes.
A lightbulb-less idea came to Bernard. He pulled a sexy snow globe out of his sexy bag and shook it... sexily. Within seconds, Santa and his eight reindeer (the Authoress does not believe in Rudolph) landed in front of the crowd.
"Santa," Bernard asked. "Could you get Gandalf the White to come here?"
"Certainly, my sexy head elf!" Santa said jollily.
Bernard shuddered. "Erin... this is getting out of hand."
"I am sorry, oh se... um... likeable one," said the booming voice from the sky.
Santa and his reindeer flew away, returning several minutes later with Gandalf in the back seat. No one knows what happened to Shadowfax.
Jack Sparrow held Gandalf at gunpoint.
"Captain!"
Captain Jack Sparrow held Gandalf at gunpoint.
"Explain yourself," he demanded.
"Why do you care?"
"You killed Elizabeth Swann!"
"Do I didn't... dat was Legolas."
"Oh," Jack Sparrow said, putting the gun away.
"Captain!"
"Oh," Captain Jack Sparrow said, putting the gun away.
Bernard looked at the sky. "Does this story have an actual plot?"