A/N- Guess what, guys! This is my next-to-last update! Omigosh the story's actually gonna END! Yeah, I know, right? Okay.
Alteng- Ah, but the plot shall return soon! As in... now-ish. And then the story ends.
A Darker Side of Light/The French Fry of Gondor- That's how one should treat one's figments, or else they might start... um... running away. I mostly keep mine locked up in the attic.
Western Master 3- Evil, ain't it? Ah, but the plot is saved and tied up in a bow. Or something like that...
Tinkerbell033- A gamete is... a cell... yeah. I'm purposely over-using the word 'sexy' cos it's fun. Yeah, but I use it not so much in these last few chapters.
tsuchi- Ah, but you have joined in the insanity a bit too late, I fear. I'm glad you like the random-ness, but it's almost over. I weep... really, I do.
"So? What happened?" Elrond, lord of the eyebrows, asked Gandalf.
"Make it short!" Frodo shouted.
Everyone stared at him. "Why?" the new-and-improved blue-haired Merry asked.
"I have to pee," Frodo whispered nervously.
"Stupid!" shouted an annoyed booming voice from the sky that apparently wanted to end this story already.
Frodo disappeared.
Merry looked around. "Hey, I'm the only hobbit left!"
"Anyway..." Gandalf said, apparently unaware that the Authoress had cured his bloody nose out of sheer boredom, "Legolas and Gimli were in love, they got married, Gimli got banishèd, Legolas was supposed to get married to that... um... Mary Sue... thing.
"Somebody call?" Merry asked.
"He didn't mean you! All distractions shall be removed! We must finish this story!" yelled the booming voice from the sky.
Merry also disappeared.
"Right... so I gave him stuff that would make him look dead and Gimli sneaked back to Rivendell and thought Legolas was really dead and killed himself and then Legolas woke up and saw Gimli dead and he killed himself too!"
Gandalf panted for breath.
"And Elizabeth?" Captain Jack Sparrow asked.
"She walked in on Legolas's death scene... so he went psycho-pretty-boy and killed her."
"NOOOOOOO!" shouted Captain Jack Sparrow, losing his cool. "How could you, Will?"
"Well... I've always had this insecurity about being a eunuch... you didn't help that, announcing it in front of Barbossa and Elizabeth and everyone..." Will Turner called from the back of the crowd. "Dunno how you knew, exactly..."
"What? That Dumbledore guy just said you're supposed to be dead!"
Will frowned. "Am I not?"
"Jack! Shut up before I send you off with Frodo and Merry! Legolas and Will aren't the same person!" shrieked the booming voice from the sky.
"Wha-"
"Elves don't have facial hair," Bernard sighed.
"Oh... so they're like... Mary Kate and Ashley?"
"Yes! Now shut up, savvy?" boomed the booming voice from the sky.
Captain Jack Sparrow nudged Bernard. "What's wrong with the booming voice from the sky? She's gone crazy."
Bernard shrugged. "I'll ask her."
He dissolved into a shower of sexy sparks.
"That has got to be the most obnoxious pirate I have ever seen," Suave... I mean Lever 2000... I mean... some kinda shaving cream guy said.
"So it would seem," Gandalf said stiffly.
"Thank you! Get back on track! You've already driven poor Peter Jackson insane!" the booming voice from the sky ordered.
The people of Rivendell did not know where the voice was coming from.
Nor did they care.
"You mean to say," Galadriel mused, "that Legolas and Gimli were married by you? Why did you allow that?"
"Well," Gandalf said carefully, "I thought maybe the union of a dwarf and an elf would end your feud... maybe."
A moment of silence. Then...
"You stupid dwarves! You killed my son!" Thranduil screeched.
"Your son? What about Gimli?" roared Glóin's ghost.
Gandalf massaged his forehead. "That didn't work out the way I'd hoped."
Alteng- Ah, but the plot shall return soon! As in... now-ish. And then the story ends.
A Darker Side of Light/The French Fry of Gondor- That's how one should treat one's figments, or else they might start... um... running away. I mostly keep mine locked up in the attic.
Western Master 3- Evil, ain't it? Ah, but the plot is saved and tied up in a bow. Or something like that...
Tinkerbell033- A gamete is... a cell... yeah. I'm purposely over-using the word 'sexy' cos it's fun. Yeah, but I use it not so much in these last few chapters.
tsuchi- Ah, but you have joined in the insanity a bit too late, I fear. I'm glad you like the random-ness, but it's almost over. I weep... really, I do.
"So? What happened?" Elrond, lord of the eyebrows, asked Gandalf.
"Make it short!" Frodo shouted.
Everyone stared at him. "Why?" the new-and-improved blue-haired Merry asked.
"I have to pee," Frodo whispered nervously.
"Stupid!" shouted an annoyed booming voice from the sky that apparently wanted to end this story already.
Frodo disappeared.
Merry looked around. "Hey, I'm the only hobbit left!"
"Anyway..." Gandalf said, apparently unaware that the Authoress had cured his bloody nose out of sheer boredom, "Legolas and Gimli were in love, they got married, Gimli got banishèd, Legolas was supposed to get married to that... um... Mary Sue... thing.
"Somebody call?" Merry asked.
"He didn't mean you! All distractions shall be removed! We must finish this story!" yelled the booming voice from the sky.
Merry also disappeared.
"Right... so I gave him stuff that would make him look dead and Gimli sneaked back to Rivendell and thought Legolas was really dead and killed himself and then Legolas woke up and saw Gimli dead and he killed himself too!"
Gandalf panted for breath.
"And Elizabeth?" Captain Jack Sparrow asked.
"She walked in on Legolas's death scene... so he went psycho-pretty-boy and killed her."
"NOOOOOOO!" shouted Captain Jack Sparrow, losing his cool. "How could you, Will?"
"Well... I've always had this insecurity about being a eunuch... you didn't help that, announcing it in front of Barbossa and Elizabeth and everyone..." Will Turner called from the back of the crowd. "Dunno how you knew, exactly..."
"What? That Dumbledore guy just said you're supposed to be dead!"
Will frowned. "Am I not?"
"Jack! Shut up before I send you off with Frodo and Merry! Legolas and Will aren't the same person!" shrieked the booming voice from the sky.
"Wha-"
"Elves don't have facial hair," Bernard sighed.
"Oh... so they're like... Mary Kate and Ashley?"
"Yes! Now shut up, savvy?" boomed the booming voice from the sky.
Captain Jack Sparrow nudged Bernard. "What's wrong with the booming voice from the sky? She's gone crazy."
Bernard shrugged. "I'll ask her."
He dissolved into a shower of sexy sparks.
"That has got to be the most obnoxious pirate I have ever seen," Suave... I mean Lever 2000... I mean... some kinda shaving cream guy said.
"So it would seem," Gandalf said stiffly.
"Thank you! Get back on track! You've already driven poor Peter Jackson insane!" the booming voice from the sky ordered.
The people of Rivendell did not know where the voice was coming from.
Nor did they care.
"You mean to say," Galadriel mused, "that Legolas and Gimli were married by you? Why did you allow that?"
"Well," Gandalf said carefully, "I thought maybe the union of a dwarf and an elf would end your feud... maybe."
A moment of silence. Then...
"You stupid dwarves! You killed my son!" Thranduil screeched.
"Your son? What about Gimli?" roared Glóin's ghost.
Gandalf massaged his forehead. "That didn't work out the way I'd hoped."