By The Steel Angel
Chapter Two
~Internal Struggle~
"Jade, are you okay?
Jade?" A voice said. I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut tightly.
Oh yeah, I thought. I'm Jade. I opened my eyes to find a boy
staring down at me. "Are you okay? You just... collapsed."
He said. I sat up, rubbing my eyes.
"I'm fine, Cass...Casey."
I said. The last thing I wanted to do was convince all of my friends
that I was a psychotic. I was obviously the only person that noticed
that everything was out of place. I was the only one who knew that
anything was wrong... so I'd have to be the one to fix it. I wish
I had a clue how.
"You've been out of it all
day. School's just about over," Casey said, one of his hands lingering
on my shoulder. "The meeting isn't until six. Ash doesn't like
the heat." Casey said with a smirk. Ash? Must be Ax.
"I thought we'd hang out at the the beach until then," He said. Beach?
I liked the beach. Maybe I could convince Casey that he was supposed
to be Cassie... Well, I could at least explain to him that things
were screwed up.
"Um, sure. Why not?"
I said. Casey smiled.
"Great. I'll swing
by your house in twenty." He said, and kissed me on the cheek. Don't
puke, Jake, I ordered myself. I smiled, and took foot.
My house was only a few blocks down from the school, so it only took me
about five minutes to get home. I shuffled up to my room, and opened
one of my drawers. My bathing suit was gone. Perfect.
"Mom!!!" I yelled.
"Yes, sweety?" She called
back. Sweety. Yuck.
"My bathing suit is gone!"
I yelled again.
"I just washed it, honey!"
She yelled back. I sighed, and made the seemingly endless walk downstairs,
and to the laundry room, where my mom was holding out a Ruby Red bikini.
I stopped dead in my tracks.
"What... is that?" I asked.
My mother looked at me strangely.
"It's your bathing suit,
sweet heart." She said, and handed me the two impossibly tiny pieces of
nothing. No way in hell would this fit! I walked back upstairs,
examining the bikini. So, I was a size two. Was that good?
I closed the bathroom door behind me, and looked at my watch. Casey
would be here in ten minutes.
"Now, to put this on..."
I said, and took my shirt off. I positioned myself between the front
and side mirror, and quickly unhooked my bra. I blinked, staring
at the two pale white globes on my chest. I blushed, and looked away.
"Sheesh, I can't believe I'm thinking about my own body this way," I muttered
to no one. Thoughts of sexuality flooded my mind, as I struggled
to put on the bikini top. I still had the mind of Jake Berenson,
a male. But I had the body and hormones of Jade Berenson. A
female. What gender was I attracted to? Physically, I was attracted
to men. I learned that really fast from Casey's kiss. But mentally,
it made me want to throw up. Was I a mental lesbian?
Other thoughts rushed through
my mind. Why was I like this? Could the Yeerks logically be
behind it? No, if it was the Yeerks, I'd be a controller by now.
They've got nothing to gain by playing mind games with me. And then,
and even more sickening thought. Was this the handiwork of the Ellimist?
What point did he have? I shook my head, and pulled the bikini bottoms
into place. How I managed to do it without looking is a mystery to
me. I put back on my normal clothes, over the bikini, before something
hit me: Where was my morphing suit? I know I hadn't taken a
leotard off... Oh well. I'd worry about that later. one crisis
at a time, Jake.
I grabbed a handbacg, and
tossed a few things inside. A change of clothes, a towel, a book,
and sunscreen. I even tossed in a hairbrush, just to look convincing.
I looked over at my nightstand, and saw a pair of sunglasses. "Why
not?" I said, and put them on. I flipped my long auburn hair over
my left shoulder, and flipped my towel over my right shoulder, and looked
at myself in the mirror. Wow, I thought. I'm a babe.
Immediately, I jumped back. "Okay, Jake. Don't start fantasizing
about your own body.. It can't be healthy." I said, just as the doorbell
rang. "Must be Cass...Casey." I said, and walked downstairs a few
minutes later. Casey was waiting in the living room, wearing only
a t-shirt, board shorts, and sandals. My mom must have let him in.
"About time. How long
does it take to put on a bathing suit?" He asked. A long time when
you're in my present situation! I wanted to scream.
"A girl has to look good."
I said, hoping he'd buy it. He did.
"I wouldn't change a thing."
He said with a slight chuckle, and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.
I suppressed my internal shudder, and walked outside with him.
It was hot out, which was
to be expected in September in Southern California. Not nearly as
hot as the hell we'd had to endure two months earlier in July, but not
nearly the paradise we'd get in early November. So it wasn't that
unusual for teenagers to spend countless hours at the ocean's side during
the first few months of school. There wasn't a cloud in the sky as
we set foot on the beach. I took my sandals off. The sand was
warm. As I looked down, I noticed that my toenails were painted bright
red, as were my fingernails.
"Is something wrong, Jade?"
Casey asked. I heard the same tone of concern and caring in his voice
that I was so used to hearing in Cassie's voice.
"Have you ever had the feeling..."
I said, looking into his eyes. "That something was wrong? That
things aren't supposed to be this way?" I asked, choosing my words carefully.
"Jade, what happened to
you?" Casey asked. He was worried now. I sighed, and took a
deep breath.
"I'm not supposed to be
a-" I began, but was cut off by a thought speak voice.
Pardon me, Prince Jade
and Casey. but Tanya has requested that inform you both about an emergency
meeting at Casey's barn. Marcy and Ruocco say that it is urgent.
> A feminine voice said. Marcy was Marco, Ruocco was Rachel, Tanya
must be Tobias...
"We'll be there in a minute,
Ash." Casey said. Ash was Ax. Right. Casey turned back
to me. "Those rocks over there should give some good cover." Casey
said. In an instant, I was back in leader mode.
"Yeah, seagull would be
best. No one would think twice about two gulls flying near the ocean."
I said. As I ran toward the rocks with Casey right behind me, I couldn't
help but think, Jake, this is gonna be a loooooong day....