I'm really sorry for the three-month delay in between chapters, I am. It just seems that recently I've been happier writing drama and angst (for the Without a Trace fandom, mostly). I was, up until now, planning on continuing this, but after writing this chapter I realized that a) I don't find myself terribly hilarious, b) I can't continue to churn out quality humor without updating whenever I feel like it (which could be months apart) and c) it would be so much easier if someone else took this over. So if no one wants to tackle it themselves I'll just fix up an ending and call it a day -- but you guys have been way too nice, sticking with this little story even when I didn't update for eons. I just wanted you to know that if I don't continue writing this fic, it doesn't mean I don't appreciate all your reviews and feedback -- it's incredibly kind of you. : )

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"Well," Horatio began. Thirty seconds later, he continued: "This . . . 'fic' . . . involves characters from multiple television programs." With a dramatic swipe of his hand, he removed his sunglasses and placed them securely on his belt before hunching over the computer and obscuring everyone else's view.

Jack shoved Horatio out of the way.

omgomgomgmgomg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is my first fic and I wanted everysinglecharacterinthehistoryoftelevision to come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enjoy and review plzplzplzplzplzplz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Suddenly, Sara and Nick found themselves vanishing -- literally -- into thin air.

"People don't vanish! It's a molecular impossibility!" Grissom exclaimed before the author mentally slapped herself for just having to use that line.

But molecular impossibility or not, Sara and Nick were slowly fading away.

"I know what this is!" Sara cried. "We're getting fired! This happened to me on The West Wing and ER. And the important thing is to remain calm."

Nick couldn't hear her over his shrieks about, among other things, Evel Knievel and his everlasting love for Greg Sanders.

Completely oblivious to this, Martin sat in the corner and silently munched on a taco.

And then, suddenly -- they were gone.

"Dawn't warr-ay." Calleigh drawled. "Thay'll replace thaym waith some sayx-ier characters waith better hayir. It awlraydy happened on awr show!"

Lilly Rush was sad, because she had just solved thirty-three previously unsolved cases in the last hour and now all the dead people were waving at her and she still had hair like a bird's nest in a hurricane!

"Come again?" Vivian asked.

Danny laughed. "'Hair like a bird's nest in a hurricane'. Now that I'd love to see."

Seconds later, a group of five people materialized next to the computer. This time no one marveled or gasped; people randomly appearing and disappearing had become old news to the folks in the breakroom.

"You must be Lilly Rush." Grissom offered his hand. "I'm Gil Grissom."
"How'd you know it was me?" Lilly asked, shaking the other man's hand.

Having come up with a great many answers to this question, none of which could be considered socially acceptable, Gil stuttered: "Your . . . hair. It's quite -- "

"Lovely!" Catherine chirped. "Very lovely."

"Yeah, sure." In the back of the crowd were three large men, one of which had spoken. "We're always standing in the shadow of Lilly's hair . It's not fair. No one even knows our names!"

"We can't even tell ourselves apart." Griped another man.

"Well, have a seat. We're reading 'fanfiction'." Danny suggested.

The newcomers began to skim the beginning of the story as the others continued on.

So she went to Las Vegas and met gil and

"My hair does NOT look like that!"

fell in love and then sara killed her.

As if on cue, Sara and Nick reappeared out of nowhere.

"Ohmygoshohmygosh! I can't spend my career in Lifetime movies and -- oh. We're back." Nick abruptly stopped shouting and sat down next to Warrick. "What'd we miss?"

"Sara! You're -- you're back?" Catherine asked incredulously.

"Re-hired." She said nonchalantly. "Oh, I killed that wimpy detective with the bad hair? Score!"

Lilly stood up to introduce herself as the grin slid off Sara's face faster than you could say "Geeklove is back!"

Meanwhile, Danny and his Cold Case clone were running DNA tests to make sure they weren't identical twins, or clones.

And then Grissom got transferred to the Enterprise because he got in trouble for Sara's killing and Sara made out with Stillman

"Is that my name?" The oldest Cold Case man pondered.

Sara shuddered.

Greg determined that Danny and his Cold Case clone were, in fact, the same person, and told them that they might want to visit a psychologist together sometime.

and delko and calleigh and jack and sam and speedle and danny and scotty and harm and mac and abby and gibbs and adam and joan and luke and paris and nicole showed up and then had a par-tay

"Holy crap." Nick said, after reading the last paragraph.

Warrick nodded. "You're right -- wow."

"No!" Nick exclaimed. "I meant holy crap!" Again, he and Sara were beginning to disappear.

"We're going to negotiate with Les Moonves!" Sara managed to holler above Nick's screams before they faded again.

the end

"Can we have Grissom back, please?" Someone called.

With a poof and a sprinkling of glitter Grissom re-appeared, examining the packed office in confusion. "What is going on here? Get out!" With a wave of his hands, the characters began filing out of the office as they exchanged goodbyes.

"Yeah, yeah -- we'll be back." Jack muttered gruffly as he slipped his arm around Samantha's waist and led her out of the office."

Finally, the lab was empty -- save for the original CSI cast members and a handful of bewildered extras. Sara and Nick faded back in, much to everyone's delight and utter confusion.

"So?" Sara began brightly. "What's next?"