Chapter Five: Missing Rimmer
Rimmer found himself in empty white space. He wasn't sure if he was floating or standing on something but there in front of him, he saw himself. His other self grinned and waggled his head at him. "You must be Arnold," he said. "So nice to finally meet you, though I have to say I was expecting someone slimmer."
Rimmer 's nostrils flared. He kept in damn good shape. Now he understood why everyone found Mr Brittas so irritating.
"Don't worry though, your friends thought you were the best thing since sliced bread. Rimmer this, Rimmer that, boy we wish Rimmer was here instead of you. They must think a lot of you to want you back so badly!"
Rimmer suddenly liked Mr Brittas again.
"Anyway must dash. Swimming Club forms don't alphabetise themselves! Certainly not with Julie as my assistant!" The light and Mr Brittas vanished and Rimmer realised he was asleep. He groggily opened his eyes. Lister, the Cat and Kryten were all hugging him madly on the drive room floor.
"We're sorry we did that to you. Don't you EVER smegging leave us again!" Lister shouted in his ear.
"I hate to admit it buddy, but I'd rather you were here with us than that guy any day."
"Welcome home, sir!" Kryten wept. Rimmer tried to push them off but it was no use. He was stuck. Rimmer wondered if perhaps, this was the fate he was meant to live after all. Just his luck.
"Honestly Laura, I don't know what you mean."
"Gordon!" his wife snapped, "If Laura says you were in space, you WERE in space."
Mr Brittas grinned inanely. "Now now, darling. Don't get so worked up. It's not good for our babies," he simpered and patted her large stomach. "It was all just a dream."
"That we both had simultaneously?" Laura's eyebrow was back in its cynical raised position.
"Anything's possible Laura!"
Colin tried to interrupt, "But Mr Brittas..." but he was cut short by a falling ventilation shaft landing to his left. They all looked up. There was a small bleating sound echoing around the duct.
"Are those sheep back?" Mr Brittas sighed. "Ah well, all in a days work," he grinned and waggled his head. Now this... this was the only dream he needed. He rallied Colin, Gavin and Tim (who was spat out of the glowing ball when Rimmer went in, lucky for Gavin).
Mrs Brittas looked over at Laura. She was gazing wistfully out of the office window at the sky. "Something wrong?"
"It's nice to have Mr Brittas back in a way." She stopped, and smiled softly. "But if only..."
Rimmer gazed wistfully out of the porthole-shaped window by his bunk. "If only..."