Pills
by Kard of Dark
Standard disclaimers apply.
Chapter 4: Hontou no Uso
hitsuji no kigurumi o kita mama yaseta otoko no ko
ga odokete
haku iki o shiraku sasete inoru you ni te o awaseta
ano ko to sora no aida ni wa toumei na nani ka ga
aru kara
kitto negai wa todokanai sukoshi samuku naru
yuuenchi
--"Hontou no Uso" by Plastic Tree
She watched her doctor walk back and forth in front of her, Sanosuke--the owner of the building--was sitting beside her on the couch. Kaoru didn't understand their need to "baby" her. She was a grown woman who didn't need any help from any one. Snuggling deeper into the couch, she caught sight of Kenshin sitting on the windowsill, glaring at the female doctor and then at Sano only to go back to Megumi once more. He wanted them gone, that was the one thing they could agree on then.
This was her home and she had a right to force them to leave, but she knew she couldn't. Sanosuke had a key to the apartment and he obviously agreed with Megumi in that she shouldn't be left alone right now.
"Kaoru," Megumi paused in her walking and looked her patient straight in the eye. Kaoru's eyes were cool, calm, but a fire burned underneath. One that wanted her and Sano gone. Shivering just slightly she continued to speak, "What exactly made you scream?"
"I screamed?" Kaoru replied, putting on this innocent confused face. One thin eyebrow was raised at she asked the question. Megumi almost believed her.
Sano gave a snort. "The scream we heard and saw you give just a few minuets ago, Jou-chan."
Sano's customary nickname for her was attached and Kaoru felt some comfort in the formality he was putting between them. It made her feel...
Kenshin was no longer by the window, instead he stood behind Sano, trying in vain to choke the taller man.
Kaoru quickly looked away, glancing out the window to see a blue bird. She wondered briefly if it was the same one from before, but brushed the thought off. It could've been any bird. Suddenly she realized they were expecting an answer.
"Oh, that screaming. I thought I saw a mouse." Kaoru's reply was easy though she had given herself a few moments to think it up before reply. Acting as if she was trying to find something she had lost, like her reason.
"Well, do you have a fear of mice," Sano said softly as he gazed at the table. Kaoru had never seen him in such deep thought before. It was usually Kenshin who conversed with Sano, as the two had been friends since they were in elementary school. When Sano took over his father's business--the apartment building--he had some vacancies and knew Kenshin was looking for a place to stay. At that time, Kenshin and Kaoru had just started dating and she still lived with a few roommates across town.
"But I wanted you to tell the truth."
Kaoru startled. Sano was never this...well, she had never seen him act like this before. The taller man was usually carefree and had a wild mind. Never was he so serious expect for when rent was due. She didn't like this change in him.
Kenshin, meanwhile, had given a snort. "Why don't you tell them the truth, dear. Tell them you've been seeing ghosts and then they'll just send you off to the funny farm."
He gave a harsh laugh, amber eyes glaring at the two before turning away and vanishing into thin air.
"But that is the truth." It came out as a whisper. Kaoru repeated it a second time, louder and stronger.
"I don't think so," said Megumi as she picked up the bottle of sleeping pills. She looked at the label and cursed softly before putting the bottle roughly back down. "And I thought I told you that you couldn't have any sleeping pills."
"But they help so much. The sleep is nice and refreshing."
"Not to mention dangerous. They might be all right if you were weighed fifty-eighty pounds more then you did before you became depressed."
Megumi used the word "depressed" as if it was common knowledge that the blue eyed girl was in a state of depression. The bottle of anti-depressants was by the kitchen sink, she noted, and it looked as if she was taking them.
"Depressed? Jou-chan...his death must've hit you worse then we all thought."
Sano, being smart. The world was going to end soon, she knew it. Though, maybe it was her world that would end. Both God and Satan knew she deserved to die in his place. He didn't deserve death. She did.
"Did someone she know die?" Megumi whispered, looking between Sano and Kaoru as if just staring would tell her the truth.
"Kenshin...her boyfriend."
"Fiancé," Kaoru whispered, fresh tears falling down her face as she said it, but she paid no attention to them as she continued to stare out the window as if it was the best thing to do in the world. "We were going to announce it when...when...he c-came back."
The other two were silent, but Sano reached his hand over Kaoru's shoulder and softly hugged her tightly, offering her a shoulder to try on which she gladly took. Her tears continued to fall as she cried, letting the pain come out once more. But the pain was immense, and she knew it would never go away.
Not even death would make her sorrow disperse. It was there to stay.
"But it wasn't my fault..."
Her whisper was so soft that the other two only head a soft incoherent mumbling. Sano just held her closer as she sobbed on and Megumi stood back watching the two. She felt that if she moved towards them the peaceful scene would be broken.
After what seemed like hours Kaoru pushed herself away from Sano and tried in vain to smile, to show that everything was fine now. She gave up, though, knowing that they would not believe it--not even herself.
Kaoru didn't know why she broke down then and why she now had the strong desire to tell them everything. But she couldn't.
Fear filled her system, made her reach out and hug herself, trying to hold back more tears. That one time she had seen Kenshin mad...he had been angry with her.
Shivering she stood, intent to grab her blanket and use it to wrap around her body as if it the cloth would protect her from everything in the world--including herself. She completely forgot she had guests watching her as she did so. No one else existed in that room, except her, until Megumi spoke, breaking the peaceful illusion she had created if even it lasted for just a moment.
"Kaoru," Megumi began slowly, "If there is anything you want--need--to tell us, you can. We'll listen."
"I'm just not over it," Kaoru whispered settling down onto the corner of the couch having wrapped herself in the blanket already. It was nice and warm. Safe.
Sano sighed as he stood up, stretching slowly before making eye contact with Megumi. "I don't know about you, kitsune, but I've gotta go." Turning towards Kaoru, he gave her a forced smile. "Remember what kitsune here said. I'll always listen, Kaoru."
Giving her a kiss on the forehead he left while giving Megumi a flirtatious wink, closing the door behind him.
Megumi was in a small shock over the nickname he had just given her, but the shock quickly faded as her temper burst in. "Who does that rooster head think he is?"
Kaoru cringed. Megumi did have a temper if pressed--as the nurses often told her when she was at their office. Apparently Sano knew exactly which buttons to push.
"How exactly do I resemble a fox in the first place? Do I remind you of a fox?"
Kaoru blinked and thought for a moment before replying. What she knew of the other woman wasn't a lot, but...
"Well, you kind of do."
"I what?!" Megumi glared at her patient. "If looks could kill" was true, this would've been one of those looks.
"Well, you're sly and pretty cunning. Also a little bossy."
"Oh, who asked you tanuki?"
"You did kitsune."
Megumi gave a small noise and looked away, displeased with the girl's answer. "Well, I think I'll go knock it into that rooster head that I'm not a fox. As for you, tanuki, don't do any more stunts like today--and don't rely on these pills. They won't do you any good."
Kaoru nodded her head yes to the doctor's instructions and watched the woman leave. Megumi was fuming, and Kaoru could've sworn that she saw two fox ears coming out of her head before the woman left.
"Sides, Megumi," she whispered when she was alone. "You remind me of what a youko looks like in human form."
Well, first off a "youko" is an evil fox spirit. Or something around that. Kurama from Yuu Yuu Hakusho is a youko, the silver haired side of him. Their original form is that of a fox, but they can turn into a human form and play tricks on people. Usually through sex they gain more power, though, if I remember correctly, it kills their partner slowly.
Okay, Sano was OOC here, but he too is suffering from the death of his best friend still and is also in the dumps about it, but not as bad as Kaoru. There were clues about it in this entire chapter, so read back if you didn't catch them, cause I'm not going to give anything away.
The translation of the lyrics above is this.
Clad in sheep pajamas, a thin boy plays
At making the breath he exhales white, and clasping his hands as if to pray
Yet between that child and the sky, a transparent something lies
So surely his wish shall never be heard
The fun park grows a little colder
Okay, first off, the first line "clad in sheep pajamas," think of it as a disguise, a mask. Each character was wearing one in this chapter, if they realized it or not. The "transparent something" is the lies which Kaoru gave off, and the anger that Kenshin had shown her because of her. Confused yet? Well, answers in the next chapter for that one.
The "so surely his wish shall never be heard" line is Kaoru's desires to tell someone, but she can't. She is held down by the lies she has told them and herself over the time sense Kenshin and she had argued.
Ah, done with the symbolism. Thank you MoMo-ChAn for proofreading this for me. You've been a great help and are the best--just don't gain an ego on me from the praise.