Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I'm tired so I'm not going to bother complaining about that pathetically sad fact.
Authors Note: Hello! This is the severely sad chapter I warned y'all about. Again...sorry. It had to happen. Just so you know, this story really doesn't have any defined ending so it'll just keep going on and on and on and on... Anyway, I do think that is all I have to say. Shocking isn't it.
Warnings: Rated R. Slash. M-Preg. If you don't like it, don't read it.
To the Reviewers:
Reaka- So now you're my stalker? Oh yeah...you've been for a few months now...So...you liked it? Cool! Thanks!
Draco Malfoy-Potter slasher- Don't you just love Shirley? LOL!That was a really funny review. I'm glad you liked it! Thanks!
Siris-my-baby- Adorable? Yay! Thank you!
Pure Raven- Really? My ball of fluff was enjoyable? Thanks!
--
Chapter 10
I sat in the kitchen listening to the radio. Sirius thought of the radio as one of the greatest muggle inventions. With my musical background I couldn't agree more. That's when a song came on that gave me a brilliant idea. Sirius was upstairs asleep. He claimed he was feeling really tired and overloaded at work lately. I teased him by claiming he was just old and our various fucks didn't help much either.
In the living room Lily, now 14, and 3-year old James sat watching a movie; another great muggle invention. I told Lily to watch James and headed upstairs to our room where my lover lay. I opened the door and found him laying on his back with his hands crossed over his bare chest. He still had the body of a 33 year old but the mind and sex drive of a 20 year old. He opened his eyes when he saw me standing in the doorway.
"Harry," he whispered.
That's when I shut the door and began the song.
"Every time our eyes meet, this feeling inside me, is almost more than I can take."
I got onto the bed and kneeled in front of Sirius. Sirius propped himself up. It was driving me crazy. He looked incredibly sexy laying there on the bed. But I continued.
"Baby when you touch me, I can feel how much you love me, and it just blows me away." I took his hand and made it move down my chest and pull off my shirt.
"Harry...What about the kids?"
"Lily is watching James. Remember we put a silencing charm on our room?" I kissed him and continued with my seduction.
"I've never been this close to anyone or anything. I can hear your thoughts. I can see your dreams."
Sirius laughed at that line. "I hope you've never been close to anything..."
"Shut up..." I said kissing his neck, "And let me continue."
"I don't know how you do what you do. I'm so in love with you. It just keeps getting better. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side." When I said that Sirius's eyes fell to the floor and it looked as though he was going to cry. This was what I wanted.
"Forever and ever. Every little thing that you do, baby I'm amazed by you." I pulled myself even closer to Sirius. He held on to me tighter. I was loving this. Next time I would have to find a song that went 'fuck me now'. But I had to continue.
"The smell of your skin. The taste of your kiss." I kissed him deeply and tears welled up in his eyes. "The way you whisper in the dark. Your hair all around me. Baby you surround me." I put my head on his shoulder and ran my hand through his still very long and black hair.
"You touch every place in my heart." I began to unzip his pants as I sang the next line. "Though it feels like the first time every time, I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes."
By the time I finished the second chorus Sirius was sobbing uncontrollably and we were both in our boxers. In between sobs he said my name and before I knew it I was on my back screaming his name which was my original intention.
Even after our random love making was over with, he was still sobbing. Something wasn't right. Sirius didn't want to cuddle which was a first.
"Sirius? What's wrong?"
"Oh God Harry!"
"What?"
"Spending the rest of your life with me isn't much longer."
I sat up and looked at him.
"What?!"
"Harry...I'm dying."
"How long have you known?" I asked in shock.
"Almost a year. I thought I would be able to find a cure. I had been making advancements in my studies for the disease. So I didn't want to worry you about it."
"Is it contagious?" I asked, though in reality I didn't much care.
"No Harry its not."
I felt as though I had just been punched in the stomach. All happiness I had known only minutes before was gone.
"What....How...when?" I stammered.
"It's called wizard wasting disease. I'm slowly dying from the inside out. Now I'm in the final stages of it. I have all the final stage symptoms. Fatigue, loss of appetite, not being able to sleep. I have less than a year to live!" He began to cry and I joined him now.
"No Siri. You can't. You can't leave me and the kids."
The both of us were sobbing and you probably wouldn't have been able to tell who was crying harder. But out of anything that has happened to me, that had to be the hardest moment.
Once Sirius died, there would be no way to bring him back again. I would once again be alone. I don't know how long we lay there in each other's arms crying. I didn't want to let go of Sirius. It was as if I did I would lose him forever. There was a knock at our door.
"Dad? James and I are hungry."
I cleared my throat to hide the fact that I had been crying and told her that I would be down in a few minutes. Reluctantly I got redressed and stood to look at Sirius who was now asleep. I told him that I loved him and went downstairs to find that our dear Lily had taped me singing to Sirius. I was shocked.
"Li-Lily!"
"Oh. Hi dad. I was paying with the video camera you bought and I just 'happened' to tape this."
How could I be angry? I knew someday I would thank her for taping my last moments of happiness. When Sirius began to cry on the tape, I began to sob again.
"What's wrong?" Lily asked. I wiped my eyes and tried to act cheerful.
"Nothing. So what do you guys want for dinner?"
"Birdie!" James yelled. James came running to me putting his arms upward towards me, indicating he wanted me to pick him up. I couldn't resist his perfect little face and held him close to me.
"Dad. Why have you been crying?"
"I haven't. What are you talking about?" I said as I nuzzled James's head with mine.
"I'm a girl dad. Trust me girls know when someone was crying."
"It was nothing. Lily. Don't worry about it." I handed James over to her and walked out to the kitchen.
--
Dinner wasn't very cheerful. Sirius didn't even have enough strength to come downstairs to eat. It wasn't the same without Sirius. It was even less cheerful when I allowed Lily and James to open a Christmas present 4 days early. I knew that from now on I would hate and despise Christmas for the fact that my gift was having to find out my lover of 15 years was dying. Lily opened up dress robes she had been dying to get from us and James opened up a toy Sirius said every little boy needs; A fake wand.
I put James to bed and walked into our very dark room. Sirius was already asleep. I got into my pajamas, my boxers and blue t-shirt, and climbed in to bed next to him. His breathing was soft and I couldn't help but play with his hair. After a few minutes Sirius had woken up and turned to look at me. I was lost in his blue eyes.
"I love you," I whispered to him.
He blinked away tears and told me something I would never forget. "You gave me the best years of your life. Two beautiful children. What more could I ask for besides wanting to spend another 15 years with you? I am a very happy man. Some people go through life never knowing the love you gave me. I want to thank you Harry for giving an old guy like me a second chance at love." That was my cue to cry, and Sirius kissed me.
"I'm not ready for you to go!"
"Harry you know this is the downside to being with a guy who is more than 20 years older than you. I am not going to die the same time you do."
I knew he was right. But I couldn't accept the fact that my Sirius was leaving for good. I swear Sirius could always read my mind. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head. God I loved this man.
"But...You're dying of a cancer not old age. There's a difference."
"This disease is a part of getting old, Harry."
"But you're not old!" I protested. A beautiful smile came across his face followed by a laugh.
"Harry love, I'm somewhere in the range of 65. You're still young and can find yourself another nice man to take care of you and the kids."
"No." I said at once. "No one will ever take your place." He sighed and held me tighter to his chest. He knew that was the truth and once I made up my mind, that was it. He played with my hair and I stoked his cheek.
"Thank you Harry. You made my life complete. I love you more than any words could say."
"Sirius..."
"Let me finish. If I don't say this now I may never get the chance to tell you what I wanted to tell you everything I wanted. Even when I'm in heaven watching over you and the kids I'll love you. And when James gets older make sure you tell him every day that I would be so proud of him. And Lily. My little girl. When you walk her down the aisle at her wedding make sure to kiss her twice for me."
"Oh Siri. I promise I will."
"And always make sure our children know I loved them and was glad to say they are mine."
That's when I lost all self control. I began to cry and kiss Sirius at the same time. That night I made love to him long and hard. I wanted to prove how much I loved him. I have to admit it was the best love making session we had had in a while. I was sorry to see it end two hours later. If I would have known that was going to be the last time I would ever look into those blue eyes of his I would have never let either one of us sleep.
The next morning I woke up with my arms still holding Sirius. At first I smiled at the man I held in my arms. My smile faded when I realized that he was cold. I took my arms off of him and checked for a pulse. I found none.
Sirius had died in my arms that night. I held his limp body against mine and cried. I stayed that way for I don't know how long until Lily found me and had to pry me off Sirius and call who we needed to call.
Lily didn't cry at first. But when the shock of her daddy's death finally sank in, she cried and refused to leave her room. James didn't understand what was going on and for that I was grateful. He wouldn't have to know the hell Lily and I were going through. Living without Sirius was going to take time and this was a change I could live without.
--
A/N: Hello again. Umm...don't kill me? Had to happen so sorry. I love Sirius anyway! Is that considered necrophilia? I hope not. Oh well. Review for me!
REVIEW review ReViEw rEvIeW REviEW reVIew (before you comment on my urging you to review, yes I was bored.)
Authors Note: Hello! This is the severely sad chapter I warned y'all about. Again...sorry. It had to happen. Just so you know, this story really doesn't have any defined ending so it'll just keep going on and on and on and on... Anyway, I do think that is all I have to say. Shocking isn't it.
Warnings: Rated R. Slash. M-Preg. If you don't like it, don't read it.
To the Reviewers:
Reaka- So now you're my stalker? Oh yeah...you've been for a few months now...So...you liked it? Cool! Thanks!
Draco Malfoy-Potter slasher- Don't you just love Shirley? LOL!That was a really funny review. I'm glad you liked it! Thanks!
Siris-my-baby- Adorable? Yay! Thank you!
Pure Raven- Really? My ball of fluff was enjoyable? Thanks!
--
Chapter 10
I sat in the kitchen listening to the radio. Sirius thought of the radio as one of the greatest muggle inventions. With my musical background I couldn't agree more. That's when a song came on that gave me a brilliant idea. Sirius was upstairs asleep. He claimed he was feeling really tired and overloaded at work lately. I teased him by claiming he was just old and our various fucks didn't help much either.
In the living room Lily, now 14, and 3-year old James sat watching a movie; another great muggle invention. I told Lily to watch James and headed upstairs to our room where my lover lay. I opened the door and found him laying on his back with his hands crossed over his bare chest. He still had the body of a 33 year old but the mind and sex drive of a 20 year old. He opened his eyes when he saw me standing in the doorway.
"Harry," he whispered.
That's when I shut the door and began the song.
"Every time our eyes meet, this feeling inside me, is almost more than I can take."
I got onto the bed and kneeled in front of Sirius. Sirius propped himself up. It was driving me crazy. He looked incredibly sexy laying there on the bed. But I continued.
"Baby when you touch me, I can feel how much you love me, and it just blows me away." I took his hand and made it move down my chest and pull off my shirt.
"Harry...What about the kids?"
"Lily is watching James. Remember we put a silencing charm on our room?" I kissed him and continued with my seduction.
"I've never been this close to anyone or anything. I can hear your thoughts. I can see your dreams."
Sirius laughed at that line. "I hope you've never been close to anything..."
"Shut up..." I said kissing his neck, "And let me continue."
"I don't know how you do what you do. I'm so in love with you. It just keeps getting better. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side." When I said that Sirius's eyes fell to the floor and it looked as though he was going to cry. This was what I wanted.
"Forever and ever. Every little thing that you do, baby I'm amazed by you." I pulled myself even closer to Sirius. He held on to me tighter. I was loving this. Next time I would have to find a song that went 'fuck me now'. But I had to continue.
"The smell of your skin. The taste of your kiss." I kissed him deeply and tears welled up in his eyes. "The way you whisper in the dark. Your hair all around me. Baby you surround me." I put my head on his shoulder and ran my hand through his still very long and black hair.
"You touch every place in my heart." I began to unzip his pants as I sang the next line. "Though it feels like the first time every time, I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes."
By the time I finished the second chorus Sirius was sobbing uncontrollably and we were both in our boxers. In between sobs he said my name and before I knew it I was on my back screaming his name which was my original intention.
Even after our random love making was over with, he was still sobbing. Something wasn't right. Sirius didn't want to cuddle which was a first.
"Sirius? What's wrong?"
"Oh God Harry!"
"What?"
"Spending the rest of your life with me isn't much longer."
I sat up and looked at him.
"What?!"
"Harry...I'm dying."
"How long have you known?" I asked in shock.
"Almost a year. I thought I would be able to find a cure. I had been making advancements in my studies for the disease. So I didn't want to worry you about it."
"Is it contagious?" I asked, though in reality I didn't much care.
"No Harry its not."
I felt as though I had just been punched in the stomach. All happiness I had known only minutes before was gone.
"What....How...when?" I stammered.
"It's called wizard wasting disease. I'm slowly dying from the inside out. Now I'm in the final stages of it. I have all the final stage symptoms. Fatigue, loss of appetite, not being able to sleep. I have less than a year to live!" He began to cry and I joined him now.
"No Siri. You can't. You can't leave me and the kids."
The both of us were sobbing and you probably wouldn't have been able to tell who was crying harder. But out of anything that has happened to me, that had to be the hardest moment.
Once Sirius died, there would be no way to bring him back again. I would once again be alone. I don't know how long we lay there in each other's arms crying. I didn't want to let go of Sirius. It was as if I did I would lose him forever. There was a knock at our door.
"Dad? James and I are hungry."
I cleared my throat to hide the fact that I had been crying and told her that I would be down in a few minutes. Reluctantly I got redressed and stood to look at Sirius who was now asleep. I told him that I loved him and went downstairs to find that our dear Lily had taped me singing to Sirius. I was shocked.
"Li-Lily!"
"Oh. Hi dad. I was paying with the video camera you bought and I just 'happened' to tape this."
How could I be angry? I knew someday I would thank her for taping my last moments of happiness. When Sirius began to cry on the tape, I began to sob again.
"What's wrong?" Lily asked. I wiped my eyes and tried to act cheerful.
"Nothing. So what do you guys want for dinner?"
"Birdie!" James yelled. James came running to me putting his arms upward towards me, indicating he wanted me to pick him up. I couldn't resist his perfect little face and held him close to me.
"Dad. Why have you been crying?"
"I haven't. What are you talking about?" I said as I nuzzled James's head with mine.
"I'm a girl dad. Trust me girls know when someone was crying."
"It was nothing. Lily. Don't worry about it." I handed James over to her and walked out to the kitchen.
--
Dinner wasn't very cheerful. Sirius didn't even have enough strength to come downstairs to eat. It wasn't the same without Sirius. It was even less cheerful when I allowed Lily and James to open a Christmas present 4 days early. I knew that from now on I would hate and despise Christmas for the fact that my gift was having to find out my lover of 15 years was dying. Lily opened up dress robes she had been dying to get from us and James opened up a toy Sirius said every little boy needs; A fake wand.
I put James to bed and walked into our very dark room. Sirius was already asleep. I got into my pajamas, my boxers and blue t-shirt, and climbed in to bed next to him. His breathing was soft and I couldn't help but play with his hair. After a few minutes Sirius had woken up and turned to look at me. I was lost in his blue eyes.
"I love you," I whispered to him.
He blinked away tears and told me something I would never forget. "You gave me the best years of your life. Two beautiful children. What more could I ask for besides wanting to spend another 15 years with you? I am a very happy man. Some people go through life never knowing the love you gave me. I want to thank you Harry for giving an old guy like me a second chance at love." That was my cue to cry, and Sirius kissed me.
"I'm not ready for you to go!"
"Harry you know this is the downside to being with a guy who is more than 20 years older than you. I am not going to die the same time you do."
I knew he was right. But I couldn't accept the fact that my Sirius was leaving for good. I swear Sirius could always read my mind. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head. God I loved this man.
"But...You're dying of a cancer not old age. There's a difference."
"This disease is a part of getting old, Harry."
"But you're not old!" I protested. A beautiful smile came across his face followed by a laugh.
"Harry love, I'm somewhere in the range of 65. You're still young and can find yourself another nice man to take care of you and the kids."
"No." I said at once. "No one will ever take your place." He sighed and held me tighter to his chest. He knew that was the truth and once I made up my mind, that was it. He played with my hair and I stoked his cheek.
"Thank you Harry. You made my life complete. I love you more than any words could say."
"Sirius..."
"Let me finish. If I don't say this now I may never get the chance to tell you what I wanted to tell you everything I wanted. Even when I'm in heaven watching over you and the kids I'll love you. And when James gets older make sure you tell him every day that I would be so proud of him. And Lily. My little girl. When you walk her down the aisle at her wedding make sure to kiss her twice for me."
"Oh Siri. I promise I will."
"And always make sure our children know I loved them and was glad to say they are mine."
That's when I lost all self control. I began to cry and kiss Sirius at the same time. That night I made love to him long and hard. I wanted to prove how much I loved him. I have to admit it was the best love making session we had had in a while. I was sorry to see it end two hours later. If I would have known that was going to be the last time I would ever look into those blue eyes of his I would have never let either one of us sleep.
The next morning I woke up with my arms still holding Sirius. At first I smiled at the man I held in my arms. My smile faded when I realized that he was cold. I took my arms off of him and checked for a pulse. I found none.
Sirius had died in my arms that night. I held his limp body against mine and cried. I stayed that way for I don't know how long until Lily found me and had to pry me off Sirius and call who we needed to call.
Lily didn't cry at first. But when the shock of her daddy's death finally sank in, she cried and refused to leave her room. James didn't understand what was going on and for that I was grateful. He wouldn't have to know the hell Lily and I were going through. Living without Sirius was going to take time and this was a change I could live without.
--
A/N: Hello again. Umm...don't kill me? Had to happen so sorry. I love Sirius anyway! Is that considered necrophilia? I hope not. Oh well. Review for me!
REVIEW review ReViEw rEvIeW REviEW reVIew (before you comment on my urging you to review, yes I was bored.)