It happened. Right in front of my eyes, it happened. And yet, I couldn't believe it,
after all these years everything had changed in an instant and I was left, here, in
the rain, looking into a lifetime that was shattered in less than a moment. Everything
changed in an instant, everything, and now with the knowledge I possessed I never felt
more alone. The anger, the hurt...it consumed me all at once, as I walked into the night.
Thoughts of her consumed my mind...my love, my life, my Jerrica was more than she seemed,
and I had seen it right before my eyes. Jem changed somehow into Jerrica. They were the same.
Did the others know? How many people had she kept this from?...but more importantly how
could she have kept this from me. I loved her, more than anything but now...she deceived me,
lied to me...how could I trust her again? Jem, Jerrica, Jem...suddenly I knew nothing,
and noone.
"Rio are you listening to me?"
"Hmmmm" I must have zoned out, so much on my mind.
"You've been so distant today are you alright? I thought the story about Ashley and her
new boyfriend would have at least been amusing.You've hardly eaten anything."
I glanced at my slightly nibbled sandwich then looked into her eyes, she was so
beautiful...just one chance..that was all I had left in me. I took both her hands in mine
and held them for a moment, caressing her skin. I had always loved Jerrica's hands,
they were so delicate, so fragile...in a way they reminded me that she needed me.
"Rio?" her voice softened.
I looked into her eyes, nothing seemed more serious or heavy than this moment, so much rested
on one action. "Jerrica..." I paused, "Do you love me...I mean really love me?"
The shocked look on her face melted into one of humor..."Rio," she chuckled, "of course I
love you...I always have" She moved her hand out of my grasp and touched my cheek, "are you
feeling ok...why are you asking me this?"
"Jerrica is there something you want to tell me?" For a moment I saw it flicker in her
eyes...I couldn't believe I had never noticed it before. She was keeping it from me, I
could see the lie in her eyes, and for a moment the yearning to tell me, but she pushed it away
easily, she'd had so much practice.
"No...is there something you want to tell me?"
I ignored the question. "Are you sure...there's nothing you need to tell me?"
I was confusing her. "Yes, I'm positive. Rio I don't understand, is something going on?" worry
was written all over face.
I mustered the best smile I could. "No, I don't know what got in to me. I'm sorry."
Jerrica could tell I was lying. She was about to murmur something when she glanced at the clock
on the wall. "Rio I have to go." She kissed me on the cheek "I have a meeting in ten minutes, and
I'm booked solid the rest of the day, but I'll call you when I'm done and we can talk ok."
"Sure. I love you." I meant it...I did, but now the consequences had been set in motion. I wasn't
playing games anymore.She didn't tell me. It was all I could think about. She didn't tell me.
I sighed, by the time she called, I wouldn't be there. I looked down and pulled a plane ticket
out of my pocket marked for South Carolina. I had no ties there, it would be the perfect place
to start over, to forget, all the lies, all the deceit. I was being rash and I knew it, but I had
never been hurt like this. My homelife was difficult as a child...I had never trusted my parents,
and because of them never really trusted anyone...until Jerrica. And now, even she lied to me.
I felt so alone. Quickly I left a tip on the lunch table and took a last sip of tea. As I walked
out the door a sense of dread filled me. Was I doing the wrong the thing, maybe I should give
Jerrica another chance, maybe.....but I quickly shoved all the thoughts from my head as I saw a
large poster of Jem across the street. Memories of her flooded into my mind, the way she
tasted, the way her hair felt in my hands, her eyes...Jerrica's eyes. No, the deception was too
much. I was running away from it, and perhaps I was coward, but I didn't care anymore.