Hello everyone! A much quicker update than last one. I came 17th in my grade for maths and there are 150 people in my grade. Yippee! We've just started school again… and in the holidays we went to the Australian desert and the big rock (Uluru/Ayers Rock) and I ate kangaroo meat and a witchetty grub (that's like a caterpillar). It tasted like scrambled eggs! The biggest opal mine in the world, Coober Pedy, which produces 80% of the world's opals, is really cool as everyone lives underground, where it is 24 degrees Celcius all year round.

I don't own the characters. I own the depressing story I put them in.

Chapter 6: Of more hair, Elves and sleep-talking

"Look at him," said Pippin, huddled close to Merry and looking over at Sméagol, who slept, occasionally drooling or muttering incoherent phrases.

"I am," replied Merry, "and you're right. I think we should do something about him."

The two hobbits watched the sleeping figure, wondering whom he was and what he was trying to do. He obviously wasn't leading them to the Ring, as he was leading them in a south-westerly direction out of the snow. He wasn't helping them, and most likely had mistaken them for someone else, or was merely doing this for his won enjoyment.

What the hobbits needed was to get rid of him and continue on their way again - alone. But getting rid of Sméagol was proving to be a more difficult task than they first had thought.

Sméagol seemed impossible to get rid of. Once Merry and Pippin walked so slowly behind him that he was out of sight. They then ducked behind a snow dune and waited. Two smoked pipes and twenty minutes later, they decided the coast was clear and came out, congratulating each other with pats on the back when they saw Sméagol, standing in front of them, grinning hideously (as his teeth was totally disgusting).

"Funny hobbitses aren't you?" he had said, "Come on then, we must continue."

And Merry and Pippin had no choice but to follow him. Over the past few days they had tried again and again to get rid of Sméagol, even going as far as to fake their own deaths (Sméagol had tickled Pippin under the chin, forcing him to giggle), but none of these attempts were successful. They were almost out of the now by now as there were the occasional grass roots and the cousins were terribly worried.

"He sounds evil," said Pippin, "maybe he wants to eat us."

Right on cue, they heard Sméagol's sleep-talk. "Sssshe's alwayssss hungry…"

Merry and Pippin clung to each other, utterly terrified.

"Alright," Merry said, calming down a little, "We need a plan."

"We bury him in the snow," said Pippin immediately.

"Pippin," Merry sighed exasperatedly, "no."

Pippin pouted. "But it will be really, really funny! Like that time we buried Legolas in the snow, and then he got up and found that his hair was mussed and then he did what any Elf would do. He -"

"That's it! Elves!" Merry suddenly exclaimed.

Pippin blinked. "What about Elves?"

"Sméagol hates Elves!"

"I wouldn't be surprised it he did, " Pippin replied, "Elves would certainly loathe him! Look at his hair!"

"Will you stop talking about the hair already?" Merry asked impatiently.

Pippin rolled his eyes. "So what's your plan?"

Merry lowered his voice a few notches when he saw that Sméagol had started to stir. "There's a place north-east of here, a forest," said Merry, "that is inhabited by Elves. It's called Mirkwood."

Pippin frowned. "That's where Legolas came from right?"

"Yeah. "Merry nodded. "And if we take Sméagol there, then we can let the Elves take care of him instead. Right now, by ourselves, we have no chance against a monster like him. But if we enlist the help of the Elves…"

"Gee, I don't know, Merry," Pippin scratched his head, "if those Elves are all like Legolas, I doubt we'll have a chance even then."

"It's our only hope, Pippin."

"I know."

There was a long silence when the two young hobbits contemplated what might happen if they did not follow this only hope. Sméagol might eat them, get someone else to eat them, or sores yet, never leave them alone…

Both Merry and Pippin shuddered at this last thought. They looked at each other and each found in the other's eyes the willingness to go through with the plan. They nodded once, in unison.

"Hobbitses!"

Merry and Pippin started. In their deep though, they had not notices that Sméagol was awake.

"Um… hi Sméagol," Pippin said hesitantly.

Sméagol yawned and stretched his long, webbed hands. His teeth, in various states of decay, bared and the cousins exchanged a look of disgust.

"So Sméagol…" Merry said, trying to make 'light' conversation, "How was your sleep?"

"Never been better," replied Sméagol and grinned.

"Oh, how, er, nice…" Merry tried to grin as well, but it turned out more like a grimace. "So, where are we headed today?"

"Out of this whiteness. Tonight, Sméagol shall be able to have fresssh fissssh!" Sméagol laughed manically.

Merry and Pippin looked at each other again. 'Crazy' Pippin mouthed, and Merry agreed.

"Well come on, hobbitses," Sméagol turned to leave, "We must be on our way!"

Any requests for future events? Anything you don't like so far? I know I'm pretty mean to Legolas, but I think I'm pretty mean to everyone in this fic… especially Legolas and Aragorn. ANYWAY that's not the point. I just wanted to know if you liked it or not, and why or why not. Some constructive criticism could be nice, I haven't had any of that in a while.

Next chapter: Aragorn, Legolas, Frodo, Boromir and Sam are still stuck in their cave…