Unless in Rome
By: Karen
Disclaimer: I do not own Inu Yasha, characters, places or events.
Fans
"THIS IS THE POLICE. WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED. COME OUT PEACEFULLY WITH YOUR HANDS UP OR WE WILL SHOOT." A voice boomed outside the girls' house.
"Crap!" Sango muttered darkly. Kagome ran upstairs and left Sango alone. "Kagome! Didn't you hear them? They'll shoot! GET DOWN HERE!!" Sango growled running upstairs to find her friend a red-head. "The hell?! Kagome this isn't my-" Sango looked at the blonde wig that was placed in her hands, the wigs they had, had special sealing on them so they stick…unless if hot water is poured on them.
"Act blonde. And British if you can manage." Kagome hissed, a towel wrapped tightly around her now naked body.
"What's the towel for?" Sango asked, still confused, and still trying to figure out how she could make a British accent with Japanese.
"My alibi is I was taking a shower, I didn't hear the warning. And you're deaf." Kagome dragged her friend down the stairs and out the door.
"Kagome Higurashi and Sango Hiraikotsu, you both are being charged with attempted murder, firing of guns and destroying city property…aka a taxi cab. We'll need to see you downtown for questioning." A male officer said, eyeing Kagome as she pretended to look confused.
"I'm sorry…but I'm not this Kagome or this Sango…" She said while Sango looked out into space, fixing her tank-top which was showing too much of her stomach.
"So who are you?" The police man asked, watching Kagome with intense eyes.
"I am Yura Taruka and this is Koharu, my sister." Kagome smiled, using their fake names.
"I'll need to see some ID's…" the police man looked at Sango expectantly.
"Well may I change first officer?" Kagome asked sweetly, secretly thinking about running up to her room and grabbing their fake ID's.
"Doesn't your sister have an ID?" The officer asked Kagome who shook her head.
"She does…but you see she's deaf…so I usually keep it with me. It'll only be a minute." Kagome ran inside, leaving Sango to twirl her blonde locks stupidly. (A/N: I can insult blondes cause I am one :P so no flames about that…cause I know blondes aren't dumb!) The officer started to sign to Sango, as if he didn't believe she was deaf.
'Thank God for ASL in high school.' Sango thought as she opened her mouth to speak.
"Excuse me sir…why are you repeating the letter 'M' over and over again?" She said in a broken British accent. He gasped, shock that she could talk.
"You can talk?!" He exclaimed, his suspicion rose. Sango smiled, pretending she understood but shook her head.
"No thank you." She replied, acting pleased with herself. The police man stared at her for a while before muttering something about stupid blondes.
'Hurry up Kagome…'
Kagome grabbed their ID's and frowned at the pictures, she had accidentally gotten the two hair colors mixed up…no wonder Sango had acted confused.
'Crap crap crapppppp!' She thought to herself, angry at the mix-up. She could say they switched hair colors…yeah that would work…Kagome thought as she ran downstairs, ID's in her hands.
"Sorry it took so long…I couldn't find Koharu's ID." She gushed, batting her eyes seductively.
"umm…right…well I'm still going to have to take you downtown for questioning…seeing how this house is said to be owned by a Kagome and Sango…plus there's this man who can identify if you're them…he said his name was Chicago or something?" The officer lead them into the car, flinching when Kagome's nails dug into his skin.
"Oh sorry! I really need a manicure…" She apologized, waiting for him to turn around before she flicked him off. Sango smiled and played with the seatbelt. Today was becoming a long day.
=*=
When they arrived at the police station, they were sent into a room for questioning.
"Here is Mr.…uh…Chicago…" a young female officer said, leading the girls into the room. "Mr. Chicago…are these the girls who rode in your taxi-cab today?"
* "No, I can't say they are. One was a depressed homosexual and the other one was a transvestite." * He said, a thoughtful expression on his face.
"See, we're not them…can we go home now?" Kagome asked impatiently.
"Well we still need to question you further…" The police officer said nervously, eyeing the taxi driver. "Are you sure these girls aren't the girls who vandalized your car?"
* "They did more than that. I mean not at all. But, what I will do is make sure they get back to the circus safely." *
"Please…can we go? It's obvious we're not the girls…I've never even been to the circus!" Kagome was worried, if the police found the files about their…jobs…which Kagome accidentally left open on her laptop, there would be trouble.
* "Don't you have something more important to do, like filing a report for that missing doughnut? You know, the one that got away?" *
"Okay Mr. Chicago…you're free to go…we have two more people who can identify these girls…and their not stoned…" The policewoman mumbled the last words as she back away from the taxi driver.
* "And have a nice day, you jackass!" he said as he walked out the door, slapping the officer's behind. "by the way, if I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" *
'Wow…does he sound like that stupid pervert…' Sango thought as the policewoman glared at the man.
"We will see you now Mr. Takahashi and Mr. Houshi" The young policewoman said as two boys walked in, must to the girls' dismay.
'Crap…' both girls thought as the boys sat down.
"Do you recognize these girls as the girls who attempted to kill you?" The policewoman asked them. Miroku frowned and watched Sango intently.
"Could I by chance speak with the blonde one for a moment?" He asked, standing up.
"Her alibi is that she's deaf…so if it's true, you won't be getting anything out of her." The policewoman said uncomfortably, apparently not used to rich people asking to speak with convicted murderers.
"That's okay…I took sign language. I do ask one thing, that we are not video taped or recorded." Miroku said calmly, taking Sango's arm and walking into a small room adjoined with the room they were in now. It had no windows and no electronic equipment.
"You can stop pretending your deaf Miss." He said softly, looking into Sango's eyes. She smiled slightly and shook her head.
"I'm sorry…but I'm deaf…I can't hear." She said loudly, pretending that she didn't realize how loud she was. Miroku sighed and nodded.
(A/N: the italics are in sign language I'm not putting quotation marks because it's sign language it goes Miroku Sango Miroku Sango etc…)
What is your name?
Koharu…what's yours?
Miroku…how old are you?
22...why exactly am I here?
You're being charged with murder…
Why?
Because you are living in the house the assassin's are supposedly living in.
We bought the house a week ago.
I see. Tell me, are you sure you cannot hear?
Yes. What are you getting at?
Nothing…just thinking about what a pity it is that you won't tell me the truth.
I am.
No. I know who you are. You're Sango…the girl who put a gun to my head. You shouldn't hide your real identity…you have beautiful dark hair…blonde doesn't suit you.
Well I'm sorry…this is my hair color.
"I know who you are. You can stop pretending. I never forget a beautiful face." He said softly before walking out the door.
"I think that's all for now…she's not the one." He said, nodding to the police officer. "Now what did you say your number was?" He strode over to the policewoman, smiling.
'Pervert…' Sango thought with disgust, but walked out the door with Kagome.
"What did he say to you?" Kagome asked after they left the building, flagging a taxi.
"Nothing really, just the whole, I know who you are stuff." Sango replied, getting into the taxi.
* "Where to?" *
"32781 Mizuwake street please." Kagome said, relaxing into the seat.
* "Off on one of your adventures again? How come I wasn't invited?" the taxi driver suddenly asked. *
"Holy shit!" Sango yelped as the car began to move.
* "Yes, it is I, the famous taxi-cab driver Chicago. Aren't I the popular one?" * Kagome groaned, of all the taxi drivers in Tokyo…they had to get this one?! It seemed that he knew who they were all along.
"If you knew it was us…why didn't you say anything before?"
* "I'm a big fan of Jerry Springer, and green jello, and chick flicks that make me cry. What was the question again?"*
"Ugh! Never mind!" Sango snarled, ignoring the taxi driver for the rest of the way home.
When they got out of the crazed taxi, they both ran up stairs to take out the wigs, which were annoying them. When they finished, Kagome started to make dinner, while Sango checked their files, Kirara in her lap.
"Oi, Kag…" Sango said suddenly, looking at the files for Inu Yasha and Miroku.
"What now, can't you see I'm trying to cook a traditional American breakfast?" Kagome growled back.
"Have we ever had Japanese food? No seriously…I have a plan. We're still going after those guys. We've never once lost a client…but my plan will involve a full makeover…body, personality and background. Up for the task?" Sango grinned, picking the small cat up in her arms and walking towards Kagome.
"This better work…" Kagome muttered, putting in a dash of salt.
"Your cooking wont…but this plan will…I guarantee it."
=*=
Karen: wow…talk about long chapter for me…woooo. Hope you all liked it and here's a message from Andrew :P Except…he decided to change his name to…Sparticus…so um…enjoy?
Andrew/Sparticus: This is the writer for Chicago the taxi cab driver, Sparticus. Being a stoned taxi driver isn't a decision, it's a way of life. I guess supposedly I already have a fan club, unless Karen's lying to me. (Karen's note: hahaha I stole his shirt thingy xD) And you know what people say about liars ; they will never be held in Jesus' arms. Remember to tip your waitress' and have a nice day!
Karen: on that note…REVIEW~ and uhh…he wants you to join his fan club…^-^;; My advice is that you run…FAR away from stoned taxi drivers…they might come back to haunt you…