A/N: I'm in cruel hyper mode today. So every character by the end of this chapter is going to be seriously traumatised or else injured. There is also a possibility that some of you may be affected, so I'll apologise in advance: SORRY!

Chapter Thirteen – Why Me? I Just Wanna Know Why?

"NOOOOOO!!!!!" Hermione screamed as she ran threw the school and collapsed weeping in Griffindor common room. It was a long while before she said anything else, but as far as people could make out she had managed to stumble on Lucius and Severus making up. There are only two ways that they know how to make up, one is play fighting, and the other I will leave to your imagination. Hermione, it seems, stumbled upon the second one.

Lucius had refused to talk to Severus for a very long time after the argument; in fact it was two weeks. During that time, Lucius had gone back to the manor, and even refused Severus' offering of sweets. In the end Lucius had demanded that Severus go and have a pregnancy test, to prove that he loved him.

Severus did as he was told; he hated it when he and Lucius fell out. He always missed Lucius so much that it hurt. It turned out that Severus was in fact pregnant and he went into hiding, leaving poor Professor Dumbledore (who, amazing, still doesn't know about any of the pregnancies) to teach all of his classes.

Hermione had "accidentally" pushed Ron out of the window of the charms class when she levitated a pillow and sent it flying in his general direction. Very fast. Ron was rushed to the hospital wing and woke up two days later, wishing that he could just go home.

Hermione and Ron mutually agreed that they would make no further attempts on one another's lives.

Morning sickness had got worse for the boys, Draco suffering all the more because he rarely ate. Now two months pregnant they started worrying about how they were going to conceal their pregnancies from the rest of the school. Madame Pomphrey had already confirmed that glamour and concealing charms would not work, neither would shrinking potions.

Hermione was back to her bubbly self and spent most of her time (along with a still rather bruised Ron) sitting in Draco's room with Harry and Draco, discussing every single element to do with their pregnancies. She also took it upon herself to try and talk to Severus, and that hadn't gone down to well at all. In fact, Severus ordered several house elves to remove her, knowing full well that she wouldn't harm them (she was still very into the idea of S.P.E.W).

But things were starting to get rather exciting around Hogwarts. It seemed that everyone was crawling out of the woodwork and amassing at the school. Remus Lupin had returned to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts. Sirius Black had taken up residence with Rubius Hagrid. And there were even rumours that a boy that very much resembled Tom Riddle had been seen skulking around the grounds at night.

Lord Voldemort was still very much at large, though after he killed Narcissa Malfoy, everything seemed to quiet down and he hadn't been seen for a long while. But that made no difference to the Order of the Phoenix. They still held meetings and watched out night and day for any sign that he might make an attack on the ministry of magic, or worse still, on the school.

It was at one of these meetings, in fact, that things started getting really tense. Draco and Lucius were now members of the order. They had abandoned Voldemort and were now seeking safety under Dumbledore's watchful eye, and he was always happy to look out for them.

The order, at the time consistent of Albus Dumbledore, Nyphadora Tonks, Harry Potter, Draco and Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, Mad-Eye Moody, Remus Lupin, Molly, Fred, George, Ron and Arthur Weasley, Hermione Granger and Sirius Black, were all gathered around the kitchen table talking about the latest news. "So you see," Severus went on, "we need to tighten our defences around the school, for the safety of the students. If the boy seen is in fact Tom Riddle then... Nymphadora, why are you grinning at me in such a stupid way?"

Tonks grinned mischievously, stretching out every word she said (fans of 'Friends' think Janice!) "Oh My God Your Pregnant!" she said excitedly, pointing at him across the table. Everyone looked at him and he went rather red.

"Leave him alone." Lucius said defensively.

"So are you!" she gasped. "You're having each others kids, that's sooo cute!" she squeaked, Hermione seemed to be fighting the urge to start squeaking along with her.

"Anyone else, while you're at it, Nyphadora?" Mad Eye said rather irritably. "I'm sure that this is a very important part of the meeting. Go on, point out anything else you want, go on."

"Yeah... Harry is, so is Draco..." her eyes scanned round the table. "Who you been sleepin' with?" Tonks said, her eyes fixed on Sirius.

"Well, now Mad Eye, it ::is:: a very important part of the meeting. Severus and Lucius are quite old enough to look after themselves if they should become endangered. Harry and Draco, I'm afraid, could be in a terrible amount of danger. It is likely that Voldemort will use their love for one another and their present conditions against them should he choose to attack the school." Dumbledore said gravely.

Draco looked very worried. Harry grabbed his hand under the table and gave it a little squeeze and Draco smiled.

"Then we have to do as Severus just said, build up the defences around the school." Molly said, as she stirred a rather nasty looking green something in a pan on the stove.

Dumbledore nodded and again there was a silence. Tonks shot a sidelong glance and Sirius and smiled. "So seriously, who you been sleepin' with?"

Sirius grabbed a book and threw it at her. Tonks ducked and the book instead hit Ron in the head, sending him sprawling off his chair. Hermione giggled and looked round at Lucius, who was sitting beside her. Unfortunately, she also happened to notice where Severus' hands were creeping and she got a lovely close up of way too much of Lucius. "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" she screamed and ran from the room.

Harry and Draco just giggled. Harry looked round at his God Father. "So who ::have:: you been sleeping with?" he asked with a giggled, running off upstairs with Draco following close behind before Sirius could strangle him.

Fred and George looked at one another. "We really don't talk enough." Fred commented.

"I know, and no one talks about us either. It's all Draco this and Harry that. Unfair really." George replied as they left the kitchen.

Tonks looked at the people remaining at the table. Lucius and Severus were together. Albus was old. Molly and Arthur were together. Mad Eye was paranoid of everyone and everything. "Haha!" she shouted triumphantly, pointing at Sirius. "You're sleeping with Remus!"

Both of them went very red. "Would you shut up!" Sirius roared and chased a screaming Tonks out of the kitchen.

A/N2: Just so that you know, neither Sirius nor Remus is pregnant and (incase you hadn't noticed) Sirius didn't die (I'm delusional, Sirius will never die mwhahaha!). In my little world, it is normal to be gay; every other person born in my stories is gay. Or a lesbian of course. I know it's weird but I think that it is how the world should be because then there wouldn't be so much prejudice. Luv Willow xx