Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Stop rubbing
it in .
Title: I think I better leave right now - chapter 15
Author: Purrfectly679 - e-mail purrfectly679hotmail.com
for comments and suggestions. Feedback highly appreciated.
Rating: PG-13, angst, bad language. SakuSasu, SasuNaru, HinaNaru
Notes: No spoilers. This is a revised repost. Thank you so much to
everyone for the reviews...!
Previously: After Naruto tells Sasuke to leave, he admits to himself that he loves the Uchiha...
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Naruto didn't recall going home. He didn't recall going to bed, nor did he remember falling asleep. Dreams of crying angels haunted him, but he didn't appear to be affected…
In fact, one could argue that he didn't appear to be alive.
Sure he was breathing, and his heart was beating… But his eyes… His eyes were dead, emotionless…
His soul was bare…
…Could an empty soul truly be considered as living?
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Naruto woke from his restless slumbers at the sound of someone knocking on his front door. He stared blankly at his ceiling. He didn't want to get up…
Getting up meant facing the world… Facing the world meant he had to feel…
And feeling meant he had to hurt...
He didn't want to hurt… He didn't want to hurt anymore…
Knock, knock!
He glanced at his bedside clock. 12.35pm. It was that late already? 'Not that it matters…' he thought sullenly. He had nothing to do anyway – might as well stay in bed… Where it was warm… Where no one could hurt him…
Knock, knock, knock, knock!
He burrowed deeper into his covers, as he willed his thoughts towards a different direction… Away from his persistent dreams, away from the dark-haired, dark-eyed boy that haunted his waking life… Away from his shattered heart…
Away from Sasuke.
Knock, knock, knock!
Naruto flung back his covers and stared dully at the door. He considered getting up and facing the determined visitor just to get rid of the incessant knocking. The shrill tapping was really starting to get on his nerves…
Knock, knock!
He sighed and buried deeper into his covers, drowning out the noise, drowning out the light, drowning out the whole of humanity… He felt comfortable, warm and safe cocooned in his own little world… His own little world where nothing existed but him…
In his world, darkness reigned… And in the darkness there was no light… No fire to burn… No flame to scorch… No pain to endure… Sure it was a dark world – but there was no risk of getting hurt… No risk of suffering… No risk of love…
It was a somewhat comforting world…
Knock, knock, knock!
Naruto stared blearily at the door, mentally urging the unwanted guest to leave. He opened his mouth to speak, to shout, to insist that the visitor departed immediately… He just needed a little more time! Didn't they understand? Just a little bit longer… It would hurt less with time, right? He survived 5 years without him! And he could survive 5 more!
He didn't need him!
…Naruto grimaced bleakly. So why did that statement seem so unconvincing, even to his own ears?
Knock, knoc-
A heavy sigh.
Naruto perked up. It seemed as if the visitor had given up. Finally. Now he could get back to bed, back to the warmth and-
There was a tap of pen upon paper against the wall, then the unmistakable sound of something being shoved under his front door.
Naruto frowned. If someone bothered to write him a note, then it must be somewhat important…
Sighing in resignation, he stumbled out of his warm haven to retrieve the crumpled document off the floor. He opened it with shaky hands, then read it slowly… Then he read it again… His initial passive expression slowly developed into a bitter grimace.
Finally, after what felt liked forever, he screwed up the sheet of paper, threw it in the nearest bin, then promptly collapsed back upon his bed…
It was hopeless… Everything was hopeless...
And he no longer cared.
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Sakura glanced irritably at her watch for the umpteenth time that night, wondering where the hell everybody was. Her skin was less pale than the night before, and if you looked closely, you could just see that the sparkle had somehow made its way back into her green eyes…
She smiled – she was glad that things were finally back to normal…
"Can I take your order now?" an annoyed waiter asked in exasperation, once again walking over to the lone pink haired girl seated at the table reserved for four. He had asked her that question at least 5 times now – and even if she wasn't getting aggravated, he surely was!
Sakura sighed and glanced at her watch dejectedly. "Yeh, I guess… I'll have a chicken ramen then…"
The waiter shot her a glare before stalking off towards the direction of the kitchen. The pink haired girl shrugged. What was his problem? She sighed, before resting her head upon her arms, which were perched lazily upon the tabletop…
POOF
"Yo."
Sakura glared. "You're late!"
Kakashi grinned and ran his hands through his messy hair. "Sorry, this old lady got stuck up a tree and her cat asked me to save her…"
Green eyes blinked.
"Err… I mean the other way round…"
Sakura sighed. Again. "Oh well… At least you're only an hour late this time… And not your usual 3 hours…"
"Hmm... Maybe I'm losing my touch…" the silver haired jounin grinned slyly. "Anyway, where are the other 2?"
"They're late…" Sakura murmured softly.
Kakashi hid a frown. Late? The two were never late…
The older man grabbed a seat and promptly sat himself down. "How's Sasuke?"
"He's fine…" Sakura replied, while busy fiddling with a strand of pink hair. She wasn't lying – not really… He was fine… If you took away the fact that he looked a complete mess, he was on the verge of collapsing from fatigue, and that his eyes were painfully red…
It was obvious that he had been crying, but when she had confronted him about it, he had gotten all defensive, as if it had been some huge insult… Further investigation resulted in the rough growl of "Why the hell would I cry?" before a prompt slamming of the bathroom door as the Uchiha engaged in a much-needed shower.
But Sakura wasn't fooled. He had been crying, she was sure of it. After all, he may be good at concealing his emotions beneath that ice mask of his, but the evident tear-track marks down his cheekbones gave the real truth away.
This action triggered the crucial question – just why had Sasuke been crying?
"Did he tell you what happened?" Kakashi asked, his expression somewhat serious – not that she could tell behind the mask…
"He mumbled something about Naruto finding him, before he literally collapsed from exhaustion…"
'…collapsed conveniently in the spare bedroom,' she added silently to herself. She sighed inwardly. It wasn't that strange, not really, but… But she had really missed him… And she had hoped that he would spend the night in their bed for once… Especially since he had disappeared for so long…
"…So I decided to ask him the questions later… He needed the rest…" Sakura explained, although she wasn't sure whom she was trying to convince anymore… She smiled sadly – she doubted that she'd ever understand the enigma that was Uchiha Sasuke…
"Ah so Naruto pulled through once again!" the copy ninja of Konoha grinned proudly, as if the blonde boy were his own son. "Where is that klutz anyway?"
"I don't know…" Sakura admitted. She had visited him earlier, but he wasn't at home… She guessed that he must've been training or something… So she left him a note instead, inviting him to dinner at Ichiraku's… And that had been about 7 hours ago…
All musings were cut short as the chicken ramen was swiftly delivered by the agitated waiter. Kakashi raised an eyebrow in interest, before ordering a bowl of beef ramen.
The pink haired girl started to eat, ignorant of the fact that she was probably being rude… Maybe she should've waited for the others to arrive before she dug in, but the inner and easily irritated part of her argued that it was their own fault for being so damn late. Anyway, ramen didn't taste that nice when it was cold…
Not that she particularly liked ramen or anything… She never did understand her ex-teammate's obsession with the synthetic tasting processed food… It had the unique texture of dry cardboard, looked like processed plastic dipped in grease, and was full of flavourings and artificial colourings… (Not mentioning the fact that it was extremely unhealthy…)
Although… It was extremely amusing to see that during every mission – no matter where he went, nor what he did - the blonde loud-mouthed ninja of Konoha never neglected to mention the dreaded ramen word… Whether in his sleep, or in one of his heated debates with Sasuke that always went off at a random tangent, Naruto had always managed, at every opportunity, to refer to his favourite plastically processed noodles…
… Which was the reason that Sakura was actually beginning to get quite worried. She had suggested going Ichiraku's, contrary to her own preferences, specifically for Naruto…
Call it a token of gratitude for helping in the search for Sasuke…
So why wasn't he here? She knew that the blonde would never turn down the offer of free ramen…
…Unless… Unless he didn't get her note… Maybe… Maybe he was still training, and hadn't returned home yet? …
And Sasuke… Well, it wasn't really that strange that the Uchiha didn't make an appearance… Maybe he was just too tired… Or maybe he was in another one of his anti-social moods again…
Sakura frowned amidst her rapidly cooling noodles.
Maybe this dinner wasn't such a good idea after all…
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Kakashi burped jovially as he exited Ichiraku's 2 hours later. Sakura had initially wanted to stay longer – just in case there was a slight chance that the two missing boys were both running extremely late – but the waiter had finally snapped and chucked the pair out.
"And I know your forehead's big, but it doesn't require two seats for itself!" he had shouted irritably, before slamming the door in front of an irate Sakura.
Kakashi chuckled light-heartedly, as he restrained a kicking and screaming pink haired girl swearing revenge, extreme torture and severe pain.
"Sakura – that's no way for a girl to act!" he had commented, with glee visibly shining in one eye. He was secretly pleased though – it seemed Sakura was back to her old self – the carefree, violent and happy girl that he had once known…
There was no evidence of the girl that had cried her eyes out on his doorstep only 2 days ago…
Sakura had the decency to blush. "Uhm… I guess I better go home and check on Sasuke then… Arigato… For coming that is…"
"That's alright… But… Uh… Sakura?"
Sakura paused, cocked her head to one side and listened intently.
"Talk to him ok? Sort it out… Properly…" he added, emphasising the properly. He sincerely wished the very best for her, and hoped that things would turn out good… For both of them… They both deserved that…
Yes Sakura was usually a strong and smart girl, and she had a firm mind that very few people could break. Except when it came to Sasuke… It's not that the Uchiha didn't do her any good… Because he did. He made her smile more than anyone else could possibly accomplish…
But… But sometimes he was just too inexperienced for his own good, too unsympathetic to other people's feelings… He needed to pay more attention to Sakura, to read in between the lines… She would never admit being unhappy around the stoic boy… Maybe… Maybe she felt that he was too good for her…? Maybe she thought that she didn't deserve him, and so she felt obliged to be happy for what she already had…
One of her good traits was that she wasn't selfish… And she never took things for granted…
Kakashi sighed inwardly. He never wanted to see her unhappy again… She needed to seat Mr Uchiha down and have a long long talk with him, about his responsibilities, about their future and about the way she felt…
She needed to discover that love was a 2 way thing. She couldn't keep letting Sasuke walk all over her, even if he did it unintentionally… He was probably too naïve to realise that his actions was hurting her… But he couldn't keep being cold and introverted forever…
Could he?
She needed to put her foot down and make some demands… After all, wasn't love all about giving and taking??
"Hai, arigato…" Sakura's soft words interrupted the copycat nin's train of thought, jolting him back to the present. She smiled. "Ja ne, Kakashi-sensei!"
And then she walked off into the direction of the Uchiha house.
Kakashi smiled sadly. 'Stay happy Sakura…' he thought silently. He never did want to see his students upset…
Guess it was one of the quirks that came with being a teacher…
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At about 10pm, Kakashi found himself outside Naruto's apartment. He shrugged – he had nothing else to do, so why not visit his favourite blonde haired blue-eyed student? The loud mouth of Konoha hadn't contacted any of them since Sasuke was relocated, and the silver haired jounin began to wonder whether anything was wrong…
Firstly – Naruto wasn't bragging about his extraordinary skills and stealth as a ninja, and his achievement of actually being the one to find the Uchiha…
Secondly – Sasuke went home alone… But if Naruto found him, then where did the blonde go? And why didn't he accompany the Uchiha? Didn't he want to make sure that Sasuke returned to Sakura?
And thirdly – the boy didn't turn up for free ramen… Naruto had DECLINED FREE RAMEN.
Something just didn't add up…
Kakashi knocked lightly upon the front door, but no one answered. He knocked again, then waited 5 minutes.
Silence.
He frowned. The lights were off, and it seemed relatively quiet inside… So maybe Naruto wasn't at home??
… But if Naruto wasn't at home… Then where was he?
Out of curiosity, and the fact that he had absolutely nothing else to do, the older man decided to check the back anyway. He wandered around the apartment, until he reached the bedroom window… He mentally cheered as he noticed that the curtains weren't drawn…
Sniggering a little, and realising that he was in fact spying on his student, the silver haired man gazed inside…
Only for his heart to stop at the sight...
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Kakashi let his mouth drop open in surprise, his expression frozen in an embodiment of astonishment and shock. How long he stood there he did not know… Time seemed to stop and rush by erratically all at once… All he knew was that his muscles had long given up complaining about standing in the same position over a long period of time…
He stared in complete amazement… Nothing… Nothing had ever prepared him for that sight that greeted him…
Naruto was wrapped up in his bed sheets, his hair ruffled and sticking out sporadically in all directions. His eyelids fluttered rapidly, betraying the fact that he was actually dreaming…
Or from the apparent distress upon his face, the boy was facing one hell of a nightmare…
And the tears… The tears broke Kakashi's heart. They glittered under the moonlight, appearing as streaks of silver running down the trembling cheeks that were clenched in evident pain…
It was wrong… Just wrong!
Naruto… Naruto was the hyperactive kid… He was the blonde haired loud-mouthed klutz that didn't care what other people thought! He was the strong willed, vulgar and extremely annoying prankster that was always up to no good… He was the boy with the bright ambition – he was always positive, cheerful, confident… Always upbeat… Never disheartened, never sad…
Naruto wasn't meant to have nightmares…
He wasn't meant to cry…
Kakashi shook his head roughly. Of course Naruto had nightmares! Of course he cried! Who wouldn't in his position? His only friends, his only family had disappeared suddenly for five years; the villagers hate him for something he had no control over, he was branded a demon, called names, constantly humiliated… And now… And now…
Who knew what was wrong now? Because he certainly didn't! Naruto never complained, never seemed depressed… So the silver haired man had once come to the conclusion that the blonde just probably wasn't bothered, that nothing could possibly hurt him…
That he just didn't care…
Not that Naruto didn't have feelings of course… Quite the contrary in fact… The blonde had proved time and time again that it wasn't weak to feel, that it wasn't pathetic to have emotions… And the well-known statement, 'Shinobi's were meant to be emotionless…' Well, you can damn that statement to hell!
So yes, Naruto was meant to feel… It's just… He… He wasn't meant to feel like this… He wasn't meant to feel down, to feel depressed… He wasn't meant to cry…
He was always too confident, too proud…
Kakashi grimaced bitterly. He was such a hypocrite… He himself never cared to think… Never cared to read in between the lines…
Maybe Sakura wasn't the only one acting strong…
The blonde's lips parted slightly. "Don't leave… Don't leave me again…" Naruto whispered, unknowing that his every word, his every plea was breaking his sensei's heart…
Kakashi stood forlornly, wondering what the hell was going on… What the hell could've happened to bring the great cheerful Naruto down to his very knees?
And how the hell did he manage to let his student down once again?
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Naruto rubbed his eyes wearily as he made his way back from training in the woods. It was already dark – around midnight – and his stomach growled in annoyance from being ignored all day.
He smiled sheepishly – he hadn't eaten since breakfast…
It had been 2 long weeks since Sasuke had been found, and the blonde had spent most of his days training until exhaustion. It was the only thing that kept him sane, kept him occupied enough to stop the confusing and conflicting thoughts from invading his mind…
And sometimes, if he were really lucky, he was too tired to even dream…
He hadn't seen any of his former teammates since the day he had that little talk with Sasuke. It just seemed pointless – they still had their lives to live and he still had his dream to chase…
He didn't want to get any closer… Not to Sasuke anyway… He just couldn't afford to fall any deeper… Who knows what could happen if he fell once more? What if he refused to let go? What if he himself couldn't let go?
The Uchiha just brought up too many memories, too many locked up feelings… Too many painful emotions…
Naruto sighed. And yet, somehow against everything thrown against him, he still longed for him… Still longed for his kisses… Longed for those delicious forbidden kisses from 5 year back… His lips had been so soft… So full, so gentle…
Naruto shook his head in disgust. He had to stop thinking that way! He's getting married for god's sake! He sighed bitterly. Thoughts of Sasuke had always been going off at random tangents recently… Especially tangents involving that one night they had spent together…
That's why he had to stay away – there was a high probability that he might slowly lose control if he were around the other boy for too long… And if he couldn't restrain himself – who knew what could happen? He wasn't too sure whether he could trust himself anymore…
Naruto yawned and diverted his attention to the beautiful night sky. It was extremely clear – thousands of tiny pin prickles of light could be seen flickering brightly across the large horizon. And to think, each star was very much like our own sun… And each sun was surrounded by many planets, a few probably very much like own our earth… Who knew what life could exist out there?
The blonde bit down upon his lower lip – the expanse of the universe always made him feel so insignificant… So… small…
He frowned in contemplation. Would it really make a difference if he never existed? After all – what could one person do? What could one person do to affect or change something as big as the complex web of life?
More importantly - would anyone miss him if he were gone?
And would anyone cry for him if he ever died?
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The sombre mood stayed with Naruto until he reached his apartment. The first thing he noticed was a hunched figure sitting outside his front door, blocking his entrance into the building. But before he could get suspicious and arrange himself into a defensive posture, the figure jumped up and latched itself onto his arm.
"S-Sakura?" Naruto stuttered, as a shock of pink greeted his view. A million thoughts rushed through his mind, mixed with a flood of guilt. Even though he had hardly been at home for the past 2 weeks, he still knew that Sakura visited on numerous occasions – he had all the hand written notes to prove it. They began as invites to dinners, restaurants, and social gatherings, which then slowly developed into cries of desperation and confusion, wondering why the hell he wasn't turning up or replying to her messages…
He had received every note and he had read them all, word by word. But each sheet of paper had met the same cruel fate – roughly crumpled up then disposed of in the waste bin…
It just hurt too much… The pain might recede if he ignored it, right?
"God Sakura, you're freezing!" Naruto quickly rushed the trembling girl into his apartment. He sat her down then dashed into the kitchen, before remerging a few minutes later with a large cup of hot green tea.
"A-Ar-Ar-r-iga-to…" Sakura managed to stutter unsteadily, as she brought the cup of steaming liquid to her lips.
"Sakura, what the hell are you doing here at this time of the night?!" Naruto yelled, not at all unpleasantly. If he was being truly honest with himself, it still hurt to see her, to know that she was going to marry the one person that he had ever loved… That she had to right to kiss Sasuke, to hold his hand, to make love to him…
That she could give him children, and make him happy… The one thing that he knew he could never do…
"I-I-I c-came to-to s-see you…" Sakura mumbled, the tea slowly calming her erratic shivering.
"It's a bit late don't you think?" Naruto glared, concern evident within his eyes. "God, what were you thinking? You could've caught pneumonia!"
"Y-Yeh, but I-I wanted to c-check if you w-were ok… It-It's not like you've r-replied to a-any of my m-messages!"
"You could've waited till morning…" Naruto pointed out, as the overwhelming feeling of guilt once again consumed him.
"B-But you're n-never h-here in the m-mornings…"
The blonde sighed. That was probably true – he usually left his apartment at the crack of dawn, to avoid bumping into the people that he didn't want to see… Which was just about everyone…
"Well I'm fine… So no need to worry about me ok?" Naruto chided, knowing very well that the current situation was probably his fault again… But he hadn't expected Sakura to actually come and find him…! He had assumed that she'd be too busy with Sasuke anyway…
He didn't actually expect her to care…
"N-Naruto… Why a-are you a-avoiding me?" Sakura asked outright, her gaze meeting Naruto's shocked expression levelly.
"I'm not avoiding you…" he mumbled, looking at the floor in fascination, not realising that his actions were making him appear even more conspicuous.
"You're avoiding me Naruto… And I want to know why…"
Naruto glanced up as he heard the apparent tremor in her voice, and was distraught to find the pink-haired girl once again on the verge of tears.
"I… I…"
"What have I done wrong?" Sakura asked, her voice trembling, her eyes wide with confusion. "I… I can't have both of you acting like this…"
"Sakura, I-"
"You don't understand!" Sakura burst out, her expression stricken and on the verge of panic. "I can't have you both like this… I can't… it's driving me crazy! I understand Sasuke acting like that… But… But you too? God Naruto… Why - Why you too?"
With that the pink haired girl collapsed into tears, leaving a very confused and flustered Naruto standing by awkwardly.
"I-I need you Naruto…" she whispered hoarsely in between her sobs. "I can't do-do this alone…"
The blonde sighed, sat down beside the trembling girl, then simply held her - his touch and his warmth providing considerable comfort to alleviate her distress. He wondered wearily what the hell Sasuke had managed to do now…
He looked at the crying girl in his arms… So vulnerable, so pained… He felt somewhat like a parent, and immediately knew that he would do whatever he could in his power to help her… As long as that meant keeping her happy…
Whatever it took to keep her happy…
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Naruto walked numbly away from the Uchiha house. He had taken Sakura home after her midnight confessions, and as predicted, he had offered to help her in anyway to resolve her dilemma...
Which once again involved finding the shifty bastard.
The Uchiha resident was completely devoid of any light, sound and warmth, and the pink haired girl had seemed almost reluctant to enter. Naruto shivered – he didn't blame her - it was cold… Too cold… But after assuring her that he will in fact return, and no, he won't just go home and forget about her like he did before, she hesitantly entered the building and shut the door quietly behind her.
The blonde sighed wearily, and ran a hand through his messy hair. Thoughts of Sasuke drifted in and out of his consciousness. He smiled bitterly – it was ironic that no matter how he tried to avoid the other boy, one way or another their paths were inevitably forced to cross, inevitably intertwined…
Maybe he should take a page out of Neji's book and blame it on fate…
He walked unfamiliar paths that took him to the outskirts of the village. It was very late, and very dark, and most of the sensible people were off the streets, and asleep in their own warm beds…
Naruto sighed… His bed seemed so inviting right now…
After about 15 minutes of more walking, the blonde finally arrived at his destination. The lights shone rather glaringly, and the music pumped his heart sporadically. He grimaced – so this was where the non-sensible people went at night…
He shrugged and entered the noisy establishment, and was immediately overwhelmed by the choking scent of smoke. His eyes watered from the attack of the fumes, and he had to blink a few times for his vision to clear up. Bodies were everywhere – moving, grinding, sweating… The place was almost like a sea of people, threatening to engulf practically anything that was stupid enough to get in their way…
Naruto frowned to hide his initial intimidation – he wasn't used to this type of atmosphere, and the music was really starting to get on his nerves. Clenching his fists defiantly, he followed Sakura's earlier instructions and headed towards the bar at the far back…
Lewd comments, leers and suggestions followed him all the way, from members of both sexes:
'Hey sexy, wanna dance? Or wanna do something else instead?'
'Blondie! I bet I could make you scream…'
'Hey pretty boy, tight ass you got there!'
But he managed to ignore them all, and was secretly pleased with his own self-control. In any other situation, he would've probably punched them all. And that was including the women.
But alas, this wasn't about him… This was about Sasuke…
Naruto sighed… Just why was he such an attention seeking bastard…?
And just as Sakura had predicted, the Uchiha was found slumped by the bar with half a dozen of empty glasses surrounding him. Naruto felt secretly relieved that everything had gone so smoothly, but half of him felt truly disappointed…
Who would've guessed it? Who would've guessed that the genius ninja of Konoha would have been found in such a sleazy place?
"You hiz flend?" shouted a heavily accented voice, loud enough to drown out the heavy beat of the pounding music. Naruto spun around in shock, and met the defiant glare of the bartender. "Can you getz zim away? He's scarling all de cuztomers!"
The blonde diverted his attention back to the raven-haired boy, and found that the bartender was right. Although the placed was packed out with bodies left right and centre, and that no matter where you went, you literally stepped over other people, the small space surrounding Sasuke was surprisingly bare…
It almost seemed as if everyone was trying their best to keep as far away from him as possible…
Which was a first!
"Ee keepz punchlin de peple! Trlied to getz zim outz but he keepz coming bak!" the bartender continued to rave. "Bin haire everly nite, for almost two weekz!"
Naruto listened in shock. So it was true… He had tried to deny it to himself, even when Sakura had told him that Sasuke had the annoying habit of coming home drunk all the time… A small part of him was convinced that the pink haired girl was wrong… Maybe she mistook his weariness for intoxication? It just seemed impossible - there was just no way that the Uchiha would succumb himself to something as low and as degrading as alcohol…
And a small part of him denied it to himself even now…
"Yeh, you his friend?" another raucous voice added to the conversation. It was a tall man, outlandishly dressed in leather, who would've looked somewhat appealing if it weren't for the massive bruise embellishing his right eye. "Cos he's dangerous man…I offered to buy him a drink and he just went crazy and did this to me! Che, some people just don't appreciate generosity!"
Naruto stared dumbfounded as another person joined the conversation. This time it was a petit woman, with extremely large breasts and a skirt that could easily be mistaken for a belt.
"Same 'ere hon! I jus' told him how sexy he is, and then he jus' snapped!" she pouted, as she paraded the purple bruise along her arm.
Naruto glanced around in apprehension, and was mildly stunned to find that nearly everyone in the place had one or two bruises adjourning their features… Which wasn't really that hard to find, given that most people had very little clothing on anyway… Some bruises were deep purple, and some were almost on the verge of fading…
Naruto blinked in shock. What really astounded him was the number of people in the actual place… And judging by the visible markings upon their skins, it seemed as if practically everyone in the establishment had tried it on with the Uchiha at one point or another…
Blue eyes continued to stare flabbergasted at the collapsed body at the bar. Yes he was good looking… But… everyone?!
"Yeh, there was this bloke… Dennis I think it was? Well, he tried to grope our mysterious sex god over here, and the poor guy had both his arms broken…" the leather clad man shuddered at the memory. "Don't think he'll be showing his face around here any time soon…"
"Yeh, he's a difficult one 'ere! So I'd be careful if I woz ya! Loads of people 'ave tried, an' everyone of 'em 'ave bin reject'd! Painfully!" the girl added, emphasising the word painfully.
By this time, Naruto was feeling rather lightheaded. The smoke seemed to invade his lungs and his pores, rendering his mind completely useless. The fact that he hadn't eaten since morning, and the added effects of the pumping music didn't do his head any wonders either… He wondered how the hell Sasuke managed to tolerate such an atmosphere…
He didn't even realised that he had been standing completely still for almost a minute.
"So… Uh… If you're not doing anything… Can I get you a drink?"
Naruto blinked a few times, before he realised that the question was directed at him. His dumbfounded gaze met the leather-clad man's charming smile, before a feeling of dread plummeted to his stomach. He really didn't like the way that man was looking at him…
"Um… Thanks, but I really have to get going…" Naruto shouted over the sound of the music, before purposely rushing towards the form of the slumped over Uchiha. Adrenaline now rushed through his veins - half from the uncertainty swirling uncomfortably around in his stomach, and half from the fact that he just wanted to get out of the place as quickly as possible…
The blonde hesitated upon reaching Sasuke. What was he supposed to do now? He doubted very much that the taller boy would appreciate being thrown over his shoulder and carried away like a damsel in distress…
He settled for poking the raven-haired boy.
"Hey Sasuke…We gotta get out of here man!" he whispered harshly, the unease from the surroundings building up within him, causing a rush of undefined emotion plummeting through his system. By now, they had attracted the attention of many curious pairs of eyes – no doubt all wondering who the hell had enough balls to actually go and provoke the dark haired aggressor…
"Go away…" the raven-haired boy mumbled, pushing Naruto away in the process.
The blonde glared, immediately reverting back to the rude and vulgar attitude the pair had grown accustomed to in the old days. "Stop acting like a prissy, you bastard! This is all your fault! Normally I wouldn't be caught dead in this place, but wow wee, once again I have the amazing privilege of saving your moronic ass!"
"N-Naruto?" came the stammer, and before the blonde could defend himself, two hands were placed firmly upon either side of his face, rendering him immobile against the torso of his one time archrival.
"Is… Is it really you?" Sasuke slurred his words, his black eyes darting frantically around, searching the blue ones in his grasp… Searching for answers, for the truth…
Naruto shivered as he felt the warm breath caress his lips and his cheeks… The familiar taste of Sasuke just out of his reach, mixed with an underlying flavour of alcohol…
By this time, even more curious stares were upon the pair, who seemed to be in a somewhat comprising position. Although the audience had the tact to remain silent, the apparent identical question that was surging simultaneously through their minds were obvious…
'Was it true? Did someone finally manage to tame the dark haired sex god?'
"Lucky bastard!" he heard a male voice shout.
"Come on, lets get out of here…" Naruto muttered, the pounding of the music causing an adverse headache starting up within his temples. And the smoke…! God, the blonde couldn't remember ever inhaling something as repugnant and disgusting as the smoke he was now exposed to… One thing for sure – it definitely wasn't just tobacco they were smoking in there…
"O-Okay…" Sasuke smiled shyly, before burying his head in Naruto's side, permitting the blonde to support him as they both made their way out of the place. Lewd comments followed the two out, with multiple offers of threesomes from both men and women alike.
Fortunately, Naruto managed to stay indifferent to the whole experience, his expression passive and devoid of any emotion… That is, until he felt something which repulsively felt like a hand brush against his rear… His visage immediately turned an interesting shade of pink before he literally sprinted out of the confinement, away from the intricate mass of sweat, bodies and limbs…
He only stopped running when the pounding of the music became nothing but a dull beat, registering only in the back of his mind. He shivered – he never ever wanted to set foot in such an establishment again…
Diverting his attention back to the half slumped boy in his arms, Naruto felt a pang of pain attack his chest, as he perceived the state that the stoic boy was in. 'Who would've guessed it?' he thought bitterly. 'Sasuke, the great Uchiha Sasuke… Now a fucking drunk…'
He sighed, and sat the half dozing boy upon the grassy ground. How the hell did he always manage to get himself into such bizarre situations? What the hell did he do wrong in a previous life, to deserve this sudden run of misfortune?
'You're a demon remember?' his conscience smirked lightly, reminding the blonde just why he was at the receiving end of the endless bad luck.
Naruto frowned, and tried to divert his thoughts by looking at his surroundings, which proved to be a very bad idea once his gaze rested once again upon the raven-haired boy. Blue eyes widened in shock, as he took in the image of the dark haired angel sprawled out before him… Looking so vulnerable… So helpless…
He wondered why he had to love him so much…
Why was it, that even after 2 weeks of avoiding him, it still hurt just to see him? Why was it, that no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise, he just couldn't let go?
Why did he feel as if he would never let go?
---------------------------------------
Naruto knew that the most rational thing to do right then was to probably take Sasuke home. That plan of action was always sensible - act first then question later… After all, less could go wrong if other people were present during the inevitable confrontation right? Especially with the history that the two shared…
And it would hurt a hell of a lot less…
But just looking at him… Looking at him like that… So peaceful… So natural in his state of semi consciousness… There were no indifferences between them, no arguments, no conflicts… No bleak histories or pasts to haunt them… Was it really a sin to want that moment to last forever? That single fragile – peaceful – moment… It may never be relived again… Was there really a crime in prolonging the instant? Even if only for a little while…?
If only for a little longer…
He could hear the loud beat of his heart in his chest… He could feel the blood rushing through his body… He could feel his palms getting sweaty, as his hand started to tremble…
'I wonder what he tastes like… I wonder whether he still tastes the same…'
Naruto shook his head roughly to dispel his wavering thoughts, as the pounding in his head increased to an all time high. Damn the smoke! Damn whatever those idiots were smoking!
"Na-ru-tooo?" a slurred voice asked, immediately jolting the blonde back into reality.
"Sasuke? Are you ok? Are you feeling alright?" Naruto asked, the words rushing out furiously as anxiousness crept into his voice. It was rather heartbreaking to see the usually composed boy in such a state… To see the disciplined fall so low…
Sasuke sat up, reached an arm out and wavered it uncertainly in front of the blonde's face. He squinted, moved forward a couple of extra inches, before he confidently placed his fingertips upon Naruto's right cheek. His fingers felt surprisingly cool against the warm flush building up upon the tanned skin.
Naruto swallowed heavily in semi panic.
"You're beautiful…" Sasuke murmured, his speech surprisingly clear for someone so intoxicated, as the world began to swirl hazily around them…
"No I'm not…" Naruto whispered reflexively, lowering his gaze to the ground, wondering how the hell a drunken person could make him feel so intimidated… Why was Sasuke saying all this? Why was he lying to him? He knew he wasn't beautiful...
Demons could never be beautiful…
"You're beautiful…" the Uchiha repeated, cooing softly, tracing tender patterns along the blonde's jaw, causing the other boy to shiver involuntarily… The familiar yet aching desire began to throb dully through his system, the oh too familiar wanting, the uncomfortable longing…
"Sasuke… Stop… You're going to regret all this in the morning…" Naruto muttered, his voice trembling fervently against his will. He felt the familiar dull pain start up in his chest, choking him slowly, diminishing his will to think coherently…
"Regret this?" Sasuke whispered, his eyes strangely glassy as he leaned closer towards the blonde. "I'll never regret any time with you…" he brushed his forehead against the blonde's, his gaze steady and unexpectedly intense for a drunken person. "I cherish every moment spent with you, you know that?"
Naruto managed a small whimper, while all the time he was yelling at himself to take some action, to remove himself from such an dangerous and forbidden situation. He couldn't afford to get any closer! Why was he breaking all the rules that he had previously set himself? He was supposed to stay away! Stay away from the temptation that was Sasuke…
He couldn't fall any deeper… He couldn't risk falling all over again…
"I thought you were never going to come…" Sasuke continued, his whispered breaths brushing against Naruto's face, warming his lips and cheeks up in the most deadly of techniques. "I've missed you so much…"
Naruto felt his throat constrict painfully. He wanted to tell him, he wanted to tell the Uchiha that he missed him too… That he spent most of his days just thinking of him… Just dreaming of him…
But he couldn't…
It was just much too dangerous to add fuel to an uncontrollable fire…
"Don't you miss me too?" the raven-haired boy asked, his eyes darting around nervously, searching Naruto's blue ones for answers, any answers… For any consolation that he wasn't alone in his feelings… That his love wasn't unrequited…
The blonde merely tensed, his whole body turning rigid at the words. There was just too much against it all…Too much against them…
'Why fight Sasuke? Why fight when you know it's impossible?'
"Why don't you miss me?" Sasuke asked, the emotion building up in his throat and choking his words. His black hair swayed gently in the wind, like a veil that had just been torn apart, revealing desperately hidden secrets and broken desires. "Why… Why don't you love me, Naruto?"
'I do love you!' Naruto wanted to yell, although nothing showed for his efforts but for a single hitched breath. 'I love you so much…'
'I love you with everything I have…'
"Can't… Can't you ever love me?" the Uchiha asked, his voice breaking, his eyes flickering with an indefinable emotion. "Why… Why can't you love me?"
Naruto inhaled harshly, trying to keep himself strong, trying desperately to keep himself sane… He couldn't give into temptation… He couldn't afford losing control… He couldn't risk opening his mouth and explaining himself, as that meant giving away his heart, giving away his soul…
He couldn't risk giving them away… Not when he knew that Sasuke was going to leave him… Sooner or later, he will leave… Why didn't he understand? He will leave, just like everyone else…
And he just couldn't risk losing him all over again…
"Just why, Naruto?" the boy continued his verbal assault upon the blonde, desperation evident in his voice. "Why can't you love me? Can't you even try to love me? I… I've given you everything… Just… Just what more do you want?"
His fingers gripped either side of Naruto's face in an act of utmost desolation, his eyes pleading, begging…
"I'll give it to you! Whatever you want, I'll give it to you! Just tell me, please… God, Naruto… Just tell me, what more do you want?"
Naruto bit down upon his lip harshly, to suppress the pressure building up inside, distracting himself from the pain increasing in his chest. He wanted to scream. Why was Sasuke doing this to him? He deserved so much better! He was… He was the village's hope; he was everyone's dream… He didn't deserve this…! He didn't deserve the pain that would inevitably come from loving a demon…
No one deserved that…
"Why won't you even talk to me?" Sasuke asked, his voice desperate and crumbling under the intensity of the situation. "I understand if you don't love me… I know… I know I don't deserve you… But why? Why can't you even talk to me?"
"Talk to me please… God, Naruto, please talk to me… I… I can survive without your love, I can continue loving you from afar… But I can't live without you in my life… Don't you understand? I… I need you, Naruto… God, please… Please talk to me…"
Naruto stayed rigid, although his reply was given as a lone tear slid silently down his face.
'I'm sorry…'
And yet no matter how he tried, he still couldn't remove his gaze away from the intense one of the frantic boy before him…
------------------------------------------
"You're crying…" Sasuke stated softly, after a moment's hesitation, the earlier desperation melting away as a soft finger reached up to brush the solitary teardrop away. His dark eyes betrayed his surprise at the blonde's sudden show of emotion.
But Naruto didn't answer – his throat seemed to seize up – as another tear followed the path of the first.
"Why are you crying?" Sasuke asked, his voice gentle yet awed by the situation. The tears glinted like crystals in the moonlight, casting tiny silver flickers of light in all directions.
'Cos I love you… I'm crying cos I love you and it hurts…' Naruto wanted to whisper, but his voice refused to obey him. Instead, another teardrop fell… Followed by another…
Followed by another…
Sasuke stared at Naruto, as if in mild shock. He slowly wrapped his arms around the tense blonde, holding him close as if never wanting to let go…
"Don't cry…" the Uchiha whispered, his lips brushing against the other boy's ear, causing a ragged breath to emit from the blonde. "Shh… Don't cry…"
"Angels don't cry…"
That's when Naruto's own self defence walls, the ones built solidly around his heart literally collapsed… His tears poured relentlessly from his eyes as if there were no tomorrow… Why did it have to hurt so much? Why did his heart have to hurt so much? Was love supposed to cause so much pain?
Why was it that he could never let go? Why could he never stay away? Why did he have to fall for him? Out of all the people in the world, why did he have to fall in love with the one Uchiha Sasuke?
"Shh… it's ok…" the raven-haired boy murmured gently, a tender look within his eyes. "Everything's going to be ok…"
Then Sasuke kissed him, softly at first, their lips barely touching… Then the kiss deepened, became firmer, became more confident… Became much more desperate…
Naruto opened his mouth, and their tongues met gently in a familiar yet exhilarating intricate dance, burning their lips, scorching their souls... The blonde found himself drowning in the other's taste, his senses overwhelming with a million different reactions, a million different emotions…
His heart continued to pound loudly against his ribs, as if to verify that he was alive and kicking – that he hadn't died and gone to heaven… That it wasn't a dream… That it wasn't yet another hallucination to add to his never ending heartbreak…
'It's wrong…'
And never before had he ever felt so alive… Yet the tears just kept on falling, as if washing away his guilt, washing away the shame, washing away the wrongness from the situation… His mind blocked out all thoughts, blocked out Sakura - blocked out everything but the feel of the soft lips upon his… The soft lips that were literally worshipping him, caressing him, loving and caring for him…
'But it's wrong…'
Both boys kissed to their hearts content, catching up for 5 years of missed contact, of missed warmth… Both needing more of each other… Wanting more contact, needing more contact to fuel their passion… To fulfil their unhealthy and unrelenting addiction for one another…
'It's just so wrong…'
Time seemed to stop, as hands began to roam…Over soft skin, over whispered breaths… Tender whimpers, moans, asking for more, desiring much much more…
'But it's just too wrong...!'
Suddenly, Naruto pushed away… The fervent kiss broken, the heated embrace disrupted… The abrupt movement caused Sasuke to fall over backwards, as a surprise expression replaced his lust filled gaze.
Silence seemed to choke the pair, the only sounds being the mutual thrashing of their hearts, simultaneously drowning them, deafening them both…
"Oh God, I'm so sorry…" Naruto whispered, his throat hoarse and his eyes apologetic and filled with unconcealed sorrow. How could he let this happen? How could he lose control like that?
How could he betray them all?
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry Sasuke… I can't… I just can't…" he repeated mindlessly, as the severe realisation of the situation hit home. He had just betrayed Sakura… And he had also betrayed Sasuke… He had taken advantage of the Uchiha in a vulnerable situation… God, just what was he thinking? What had he done?
Blue eyes met black, in a showdown of desperation, of hopelessness…
Sasuke wavered uncertainly, his eyes searching for answers, searching for an explanation…
'Why?'
"I'm sorry…" Naruto repeated again, as if the phrase were some kind of mantra to him… As if saying the words over and over again would somehow reduce the hurt, diminish the torture… As if repetition would somehow erase the pain…
'Just why?'
He watched in utter distress as the Uchiha literally crumbled right in front of his very eyes… He watched in anguish as the hurt and the oh too familiar pain flickered evidently across the usually cold and dark eyes…
He could feel the eyes upon him, searching for answers to unspoken questions, searching desperately for suitable explanations to alleviate the confusion…
'Why? Why are you doing this to me all over again?'
'Why lead me on when all you're going to do is break me a little more?'
Naruto watched in numb silence, as Sasuke's heart was ruthlessly torn apart. He watched it all in mute fascination, the pain freezing his senses, rendering him immobile… It was almost as if he could physically see the broken spirit, the shattered soul smashed to smithereens by his own two hands…
And he cried again, cried synchronised tears, cried tears of an angel as the crystal drops of water began to simultaneously fall from the Uchiha's eyes…
Why did it have to hurt so much? Why did it hurt so much when he was only doing the right thing? And why did everything have to be so damn complicated…?
And so Naruto continued to cry – silver tears of betrayal poured from his eyes, mixed with tears of pain, of self-hatred… Of self disgust…
For he never knew that it could hurt so much to break another's heart…
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And during their emotive confrontation, neither of the two boys realised the cloaked figure hiding and watching intently from the shadows with narrowed eyes…
Neither noticed the way his initial frown transformed into one of a malicious sneer, transforming the somewhat attractive face into that of a malevolent beast…
"Checkmate," he whispered callously, as a cruel smile graced his features, before disappearing silently into the night…
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End chapter 15
OMG is that...? Is that a plotline?! Oh my... faints
Look this is NOT a cliffhanger...ish... Lol. Uhmm yeh...
Anyway, apologies if I have offended anyone in anyway... I go to cheesy clubs as well, but I have to say that the smoke is kinda gross huh. Oh and insulting alcohol? I drink myself (on special occasions) so please don't take that to heart... And yes I know Naruto drank as well, but that was a one off - and Sasuke has been there for 2 weeks!! O.o;;
And finally, I have to admit - I almost cried writing this. Almost. It was that damn 'Why can't you love me?' part... GAH HOW CAN ANYONE RESIST SASUKE?!
Grr. My rant is over.
Thanks for reading!! and as always - if you would like to join the mailing list, please mail me purrfectly679hotmail.com or leave a review with your addy in it! Ta!