A/N: Firstly: Don't ask me what I'm going on about with the chapter name - I just felt like it. Secondly: This is (hopefully) long enough to keep you entertained for a little longer. Thirdly: I have no names for the babies, so if you would like make an input, then by all means let me know! Well enough of my babaling - on with the chapter!!
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT! I am hosting a web-based chain book called the WBCB (Worlds Biggest Chain Book)!! If you are interested in joining, then e-mail me and I will send you the details and then you can decide whether you would like to take part. It's original fiction, and I hope to hear from you soon!! Luv Willow D xxxx
Chapter Twenty-Six - Turn Left At The Rabbit And You're There!
Everyone stared at Harry for a moment and there was complete silence. James jumped up and stared at his son. "Oh my God, are you in labour? We have to get you to a bed, you have to lay down, you aren't due yet, is everything alright? Where is Poppy?!"
"Breathe." Lucius said sarcasticly and James glared at him. It took Lucius a few minutes to realize his mistake. "Oh, yeah, right. Sorry." He mumbled.
Harry smiled. "I'm fine." He pointed across the room. "It's not me you need to be worrying about, it's him."
Draco was sitting on the floor and the poor boy had never been so pale in all his life (A/N: haha! fooled you all!!) Lucius ran over and carefully helped Draco up, but no sooner was Draco on his feet than he doubled over and ended up right back where he started.
Harry, who had been trying to remain calm, panicked. He ran over and grabbed Draco's hand, kissing it over and over. "I love you babe, you know that. I love you so much, I..." But he was cut off as Draco pushed him over.
"I blame you for this..." He muttered darkly, casting death glares at Harry. "I wish that mum was here." Draco pouted and curled up. Lucius shushed him and rubbed his back. Draco looked up. "I wish mum was here so that I could poison her... Gift my ass... This is a fucking curse..."
"I wish that my mum was here too Dray... Why isn't she? Dad's here..." Harry mused to himself. The clouds opened up and the high goddess of The Powers That Be looked down at him. Harry wondered if he was going mad, because no one else seemed to have noticed her except James, who half waved. "Who are you?"
"I am a member of The Powers That Be and I believe that just a moment ago you were musing about something that I may in fact be able to help you with." She said with a smile.
"Oh... right... I was just wondering why my mother isn't here." Harry said shyly, he still couldn't quite get over the fact that he was talking to a woman who was itting in a cloud.
"Oh that... yes, well, you would of course want to know... The fact of the matter is, no one likes your mum, least of all I so as torture we only let James come and see you. Then she has to put up with him going on about you for the next few hundred years. If anyone actually liked Lilly, then maybe things would be different."
"I like Lilly..." James pouted.
"Jamie, darling, this was your idea." The woman said and smiled.
"Oh yeah." James shrugged and wandered off, doing a little dance to entertain himself. Harry watched him for a moment and when he looked back, the Godess was gone.
Lucius set up pillows around Draco and tried to get him to do the proper breathing, but all he was really doing was getting on Draco's nerves. "Would you go away before I do something drastic!!" Draco screamed, trying to push Lucius away, but Lucius really wasn't listening - the biggest mistake he could have made - in his life - ever.
"Oh do stop fussing Dra-AHHHHHHH!!" And just like that, Lucius was out cold. Draco smiled happily to himself and went about re-arranging the pillows.
"Draco, what the hell did you just do?!" Severus shouted, trying to wake Lucius.
Draco giggled to himself, producing a small silver object from his pocket. "Never underestimate the power of a spoon my dear Severus... Owchie!!! Harry, get your bitch ass over here so I can beat you with my spoon, this is all your fault and I hate you, and why is there still no doctor here, and why is James talking to himself?!"
Harry glanced over at his father who was playing air-guitar. "Not to worry, he's not talking to himself... he's singing. He used to do that all the time apparently." Harry smiled.
"Fell in love with the girl at the rock show... la la la." James looked around. "Something seems to be missing from this situation... Something wrong, and totally fucked up..."
"HI EVERYONE!!" Every looked toward the door and James started bouncing up and down.
"There it is! The one thing that was missing from this rather fucked-up situation! Sirius my darling, how are you babe?! It has been way too long!! Man, I wish I could hug you..."
"Drink that." Severus said, handing a vial to James. "Drink that." Severus said, handing a vial to Harry. "Drink that." Severus said, handing a vial to Draco. "Drink that." Severus said, handing a vial to Draco. "Drink that." Severus said, handing a vial to a barely concious Lucius. "Drink that." Severus said, handing a vial to Sirius.
"Yay!! I'm not all ghosty anymore!!" James said excitedly, and he hugged Sirius.
"I can't feel my hand... Sev, why can't I feel my hand?" Harry said nervously.
Severus pinted at Draco. "So that when he is breaking it, you won't feel a thing. Malfoy's have a tendancy to be nasty when they're in labour."
"Well what was mine supposed to do?" Draco pouted, feeling no different.
"You are now slightly number than you were. Less pain is always good. And to save waiting for them to ask. Goodnight Lucius." Lucius feel asleep. "And Sirius, any minute now you are going to remember something very important and leave." Severus said with a Snape-ish smile (that is soooo copyright, no stealing!).
"I have something very important to do. I have to leave." Sirius said tonlessly and left.
Severus smiled. Things were calm and quiet again - just the way he liked them. "Now this is how life is supposed to be... nice and quiet..." He mused. And one thing that you should learn is to never ever muse over anything when the Powers That Be are picking on you.
"WE HEARD SIRIUS MUMBLING TO HIMSELF AND JAMES SINGING!!" Hermione screamed, bursting in through the portait and almost falling over a sleeping Lucius. Ron ran in behind her, ran into her, and together they fell on Lucius, who woke up screaming.
"GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME! TOM, I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE I JUST DON'T LIKE YOU IN THAT WAY!!!"
Severus looked at him in shock. "Are you trying to... no, if fact, don't tell me, I don't want to know, I don't care!!! Now can everyone be quiet or you're going to..." Screaming errupts from the next room. Severus sighed dejectedly. "... wake the kids... Now I know why I became a greasy potions master."
"You mean you're like that on purpose?!"
"Yes, Mr Weasley, I am a greasy bastard on purpose... How did you get in here?! Is there no password on that door anymore?! So much for privacy in this place, it's stupid!!"
"HELLO!! I AM STILL IN LABOUR DOWN HERE YOU KNOW!!" Draco screamed, but one one was paying any attention to him what-so-ever.
Harry glanced at Hermione, who was still laying suggestivly on the floor between Lucius and Ron. "How did you know what my dad sounds like? Did you know he was here? Was I the only one who didn't know?!"
"Did you not get the post-it?" Hermione asked logically.
"No! I did not get the... AHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Draco shrugged and put his hand on Harry's shoulder. "I tell you, love, these owls have a conspiracy against us. They do, it can't just be me. They are rising up against wizards and... owchie!!!!!!"
By now, Severus couldn't take it any more. He just sat on the sofa and did the only manly thing... he cried. Like a little girl. Sirius wandered back in and a band was formed... a rock band... consistant of James as lead vocals, Sirius on guitar, Ron on drums and the ghost of Voldie as a backing singer. Poppy was still no where to be seen. The kids were still crying. Lucius had gone back to sleep, with Ron and Hermione still on top of him.
Only five words seemed appropriate to Severus at that particular moment. "Kill me... kill me now..."
A/N2: Okay, not quite as long as I hoped... but the funny is back with a vengance!!! I am working on the next chapter right now... It will be up tommorow, or day after me thinks... maybe... If you review...
Oh yeah, fans of Drawing Circles Round The Moon - it will go on. I have been begged for more so there will be a couple more chapters. You win...