A/N: This is just so you can lean Harry a little better
"Die you evil minion of the bathtub from beyond the grave!" Harry said waving the bar of soap around in one hand, "I will never die, sir Qalaticod! You not evil person that's from the bath tub in front of the grave!!!!!" Harry held a rubber duck in the other hand and started hitting them together making battle noises, he made them dive in to the water and bubbles flew every where
"HARRY! Hurry up I have to take my bath!" I was standing outside the bathroom door, yelling at Harry, he had been in there for 2 hours…
"shush!" he said "last person who disturbed me while I was locked in a bathtub from beyond and/or in front of the grave I sent them to planet McSnickbottenbutt, with Princess Kissmyas-"
"Harry! Hurry up!!!!"
"No!"
"BOTTEN!!!"
"I'm out!" he said as he ran out of the bathroom and down the hall into the kitchen but naked…. "Finally!" I said climbing into the bathtub as I herd screams down the hall from Harry lack of chothesness……
A/N: ok that was just there to be there….just so you can 'understand' the side of Harry not in the book…..now to the taking over the world part!
"ok, ok this is good" me and Harry were walking up the steps to Hogwarts, in long black robes that we got on sale from Wal-Mart. "so what are we doing again?" Harry asked me. "we are going inside the castle and throw Dumbledore out the window…." I thought Harry would be all 'no! not that anything but that!!!!' but, "sweet! Can I sell tickets???"
"hey that's a good idea we can sell tickets to kids and let them watch me, Voldimort, throw the headmaster of Hogwarts, Dumbledore, out a window!" good plan very good plan.
"who are you and what do you think your doing here?" asked a deep dark scary voice. We turned around to find Snape hovering over us, I guess it wasn't a good idea to discuses our master plan on the front steeps of Hogwarts at 1:35 with the doors open…
"um….you see….sir…" Harry started. "we are evil!!!" I said, standing up, oh yah! He scared now. "right…" he said, not scared. "drat…"
"so what are you really doing here?"
"Well, you see professor…we could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you…" Harry started duming the Mission Impossible theme song, "dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum, do a loo da do…" as we 'sneaked' past him, "where are you going?" he asked, grrr I hate him, "we're going throw Dumbledore out a window…" said Harry, that stupid idiot! "Cool can I sell tickets?!?" Snape said.
...
So me and Harry crept up the stairs after accidentally pushing Snape off a conveniently placed cliff…what? It's a hobby. "RING!!!" the bell! No! the kids came poring out of every room "aaahhhh!!!!" me and Harry ran for our lives! ((notice that it is me and Harry and not Harry and I because I'm more important then him. And I'm Voldimort!!! Mwahahaha!)) but it was too late, we got surrounded by people, good things our hoods were up, "um…hi?"
…
"ow…pain…hurt…sorrow…" Harry was laying on the lawn as I came flying out the big oak doors, and landed on top of him, "that'll teach you to mess with our school!" Hermione yelled from the door as all the students started yelling 'yah' or 'that right!' and then the doors closed… "great we need another plan, but what? But what???"
"how about we climb up the side wall of the castle and…and then once up there I'll tie a bomb to your chest, then after I say my good-byes I jump down landing safely on a conveniently placed trampoline, they by setting off the bomb, after you had crawled into Dumbledore's office, and then him and his office would be there by destroyed, but we'd have to do it tonight after he's a-" ((twitch)) ((twitch)) ((SLAP)) ((twitch)) ((twitch)) "how about NO!" Harry is so stupid, taping a bomb to me…how stupid… "we can get someone else to do it…" think think "lets get Neville to do it…"
…
"mmwwwaaahahahaha!!!" BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!! no more Neville… "WE WIN!" Harry yelled as Dumbledore and his office are blown to oblivion… "WE WIN! WE WIN! WE WIN! WE WIN!" we started to do the how-down, oh yeah! We win! After about 2 min. of how-downing every one is staring at us, what? It's not like we just blew up Dumbledore and Neville or something…oh wait we did! Hehehe….. people pored out of the school to see what happened, the Syltherins we happy, we were happy and every one else was mad.
"what?" Harry said, "oh yeah!"
"we are now the rulers of this school!" I said jumping down from the conveniently placed trampoline, "so go back to bed and tomorrow we will, um…make the rules!"
…
"ok fist rule!" we were standing on top of the head table as everyone else was sitting at the house tables "we have no need for teachers! So, go home…" blink blink confused…….happy! "yeah we're free!" there go the teachers… "Rule 2!" Harry said as he pulled out a LONG list of things… "how long have you been planning this?" he turned to me "12 years" blink blink "what? It's a hobby…"
…
"rule #1,836!" Harry was about half way done… "you will address me as Mr. or Sir!"
someone from the 'audience' raised both there hands in the air, because of rule # 563… 'to speak raise both hands in the air…and wait to be called on,' "what?" Harry said,
"um…sir?"
"what?"
"Mr. what?"
"no not Mr. What just What?"
"you want me to call you What?"
"no! Mr."
"what?"
"what do you mean what?"
"Mr. what?"
"no! not Mr. what!"
"what do you want us to call you?"
"I just told you!"
"what?"
"NO! not what! Mr.!"
"MR. WHAT!"
"NO! MR. JUST MR.! NOT MR. WHAT!!!!"
"no I mean what's your name?"
"Ha-" think think "Mr. H"
"oh ok…"
"no problem"
"ok now rule #1,837!" groan mumble ggrrr…
…
"and that's it….!" Harry had been talking for 27 hours strait…not that anyone was paying attention passed rule # 12…. 'don't chew with our mouth closed…' but rule #163 'don't chew with your mouth open…' Harry stupid…
"oh yeah one more rule!" I still think the ratings are going down… so "muggleborns must do what ever a wizard with purer blood than them commands! Or else…um….yeah" gasp well, the muggleborns weren't happy…they were scared out of there minds. The Slytherins were having the times of there lives and "oh yeah the rules don't start intill tomorrow… thank god god danmit! "what! Might I remind you…" Harry yelled pulling out his list again! 'Mental note to self, burn list…' "that rule # 4,862 clearly says! 'you can't say things like God Danm or stuff like that but just the simple danm or holy shit is ok, but you can't use shit as a noun as in 'I need to take a shit' but you can use it in the verd for 'oh shit' but you can also say it in the adverb for like 'man you look shitty,' but you can't said it in the adjective form as in this sentence 'I just went take a shit so now I'm all shitty...' but!" I pulled Harry off the 'stage' before he hurt himself… thank goodness for south park….mind you I don't own that.
…
well that's it I hope you like it I took over Hogwarts! YEAH! Read and Review! AKA R&R, thanx bye! I'm not updating intill I get 4 revews or in till I fell like it, bye!
thanx to the ones who did Review
----: Very funny! I like it! Good Job, I can't wait to see the next chapter!
well, here is the next chapter Oh great Anonymous one
frifri:OMG! this is like so funny. like shut-up!
Like no-way, this is like so funny and I am like soo fur real! I so like want to like no like what like happens like next! so like update!
like tuttles!
- OOOoooOOOKKKkkkkkKK.....