Ashes
There was no doubt about it. Bill Weasley was the most beautiful child in the entire universe. He had red hair like his mother and his father and had a spray of freckles over his nose and had beautiful, bright blue eyes like his mother. Molly often argued that he had inherited Arthur's hands and nose, but Arthur said that everyone's hands and ears looked generally the same and there was no need to categorize them by parents. Bill had been born a healthy baby, although he was two months early. Although Bill's parents wanted to spoil him with all of their hearts, they simply didn't have the money to spoil a child.
Bill only grew more beautiful with time. He often found his own forms of entertainment around the small hut in which they lived. Molly had suggested she get a babysitter for Bill and go out and look for a job, but Arthur had simply said, "I'm not going to let a stranger raise my child." Molly had pouted for a day or two, but had come to the conclusion that she, too, would rather raise her child then go to work for a rich wizard. Although Bill was very calm while he was sleeping, he was very hyperactive when awake. He broke things quite often and Arthur wanted to punish him (give him a time out, or a good spanking). But, Molly would not allow it. Even though she generally agreed with her husband, she put her foot down. She would never let her children get hit or spanked. She found it horrible and inhuman.
"You can't! He's your son. Do you honestly want to hit your son?" asked Molly in a pleading voice.
"Do you want him to get spoiled?"
"We needn't worry about spoiling Billy." Molly said defensively. "Because we haven't the money in which to spoil him."
"Well, Molly Dearest." Arthur said coldly. "I don't see you pulling in money for this family."
"If you'd stop spending it on alcohol maybe we would."
"So, I'm not allowed to have a drink just because you don't have a job?" Arthur asked.
"It's a bad influence on Billy." she said. "How would you've liked to grown up with a drunk father?"
Arthur had glared at her and then stormed out of the house. Molly had cried afterwards as she did the few dishes they had. She took her son in her arms and nestled her face in his soft red hair. She hoped that he wasn't picking any of these things up. She closed her eyes and held her son closer. Times were dark, very dark and it was all she could do to keep from giving up. She would do anything to protect her little boy from anything.
It was all over the newspapers. There was a man named Voldemort. He killed people if they didn't join him on the dark side. He knew of every wizard family on the earth and terrorized muggles also. Molly was scared out of her mind to leave the house or leave Bill alone anywhere at anytime. She didn't want to die. Of course, living didn't seem much better, but she wanted to live for Bill. She wanted to protect him from the horrors of Voldemort.
Arthur was stressed. His wages had been lowered tremendously because of all of the new Aurors that were needed to fight off Voldemort. One night, Arthur had commented cruelly that they didn't need Aurors because Voldemort would just kill them off anyway. Molly had cried and Arthur had gone out. A wife and small child weren't easy to support on a Janitor's wages, especially lowered ones. But, they got by. Gringott's would protect what money they had. Molly didn't eat much, but gave most of her food to Bill. He was a growing boy, after all.
"Mummy." Bill said, clinging to her neck. "Why can't I go to the park like the muggle children? They look like they have fun."
"We're safe here." Molly responded. "And I think that you can have a lot of fun right in this house, Billy."
"Why was daddy mad?" Bill asked. "Why did he run away?"
"Shh." Molly said "Daddy's just very sad."
Molly so wanted to tell her son of Voldemort and give him correct explanations as to why he could not go to the muggle park with the muggle children and play in the woods and go out to get water from the well. She wanted to tell him that his father was very stressed because of money and fire whiskey. Of course Molly supported his right to drink! But did he have to do it so compulsively? She would've felt so much better if Arthur came home after work to share a meal with his family and just be there in case Voldemort came. She shivered at the thought of dying at his hands.
Bill's bed was the small couch that Arthur had managed to buy at a second hand furniture shop. Molly had tried to sew it up and make it as presentable as possible. Children's beds were expensive and they just couldn't afford it. Molly, however, had insisted on a nice blanket and pillow for Bill. Arthur had argued that Bill didn't need a pillow, but Molly had put her foot down and said that she would not have her child sleeping without a pillow. Arthur had sighed and humbled himself to let Bill choose a fairly expensive blanket and pillow for his bed.
Bill was half asleep at noon when Molly had finished crying. She carefully lay him down on his bed and covered him with his blanket. She smiled at the child. Just as she was about to take a nap herself, the window burst open and a barn owl flew in and dropped a letter on the dinner table. Molly looked worriedly over at her sleeping son, afraid the noise might have awakened him. He turned over in his sleep, but did not open his eyes. Molly sighed quietly. "Bloody owls. Why couldn't it be pocket mice or rats delivering letters? No, it had to be the bloody owls. It had to be the bloody owls."
Molly looked at the envelope sitting on the table. It was addressed to her and had the stamp of St. Mungo's. Molly had gone for a check up with her Healer (You don't look well. Arthur had said) a few weeks ago. He said he'd send her the results. When he didn't send them for a few days, Molly figured that he'd forgotten. Now, Molly only worried that Arthur hadn't paid the bill in full and they were being charged extra money. It was extra money that they didn't have, of course. Molly opened the envelope, and read it quietly to herself.
"Dear Mrs. Weasley." She read. "I've examined the results of the tests we ran a few weeks ago. The results show that you are pregnant with a boy. Sincerely, Healer Lonx."
What would Arthur think? They could barely afford to feed and clothe Bill, how much more another baby? Seth had disappeared after Laura's birth and Arthur didn't want to get a hold of him to ask for money. Arthur insisted that he didn't need his best friend to support his family. But, what choice did Molly have now? She was going to bring another life into this world. This was a world of horrors and terrors and death. This world that hope was so rare to find.
There was a knock at the door.
Molly's entire body froze up. She walked over to Bill's bed and took the cotton blanket and draped it over his face so he looked like a pile of laundry. If Voldemort had come for her, then so be it, but she would never let them have Bill. The knock came again, more persistent this time. Arthur never knocked, after all, it was his house and he had a key. Molly felt the tears of fear well up in her throat. If she didn't answer the door, he would come in and kill Bill. She had to be brave for Bill. She walked slowly across her living room, which suddenly seemed even smaller to walk across.
She felt the cool metal beneath her fingers as she grasped the doorknob. She swallowed the hard lump that had been forming in her throat. She took a deep breath and pulled the door open.
"Molly!" Seth exclaimed, taking her into his arms and spinning her around.
"Seth, what on earth are you doing here?" Molly asked him.
"I was worried about you. I haven't heard from you or Arthur years. I was afraid that Voldemort had gotten hold of you." Seth half yelled.
"Shush." Molly hissed. "You'll wake Billy."
"Billy? You've a cat?" Seth said.
"Arthur hates cats." said Molly. "We've a child, Seth. Oh, you must come see, he's the most beautiful child on this planet. Come on."
She led Seth into the living room where Bill napped peacefully. Seth looked on in tender shock. Molly and Arthur certainly were young, but they weren't stupid. And this child confirmed that. It was suddenly apparent to Seth that Arthur did know what he was doing when he married Molly. Seth suddenly felt so jealous of Arthur, having a wonderful family and a wonderful wife at his age.
"He looks like you." said Seth, smiling.
"Oh, Seth." Molly was sobbing. "I can't do this anymore."
"Can't do what?" Seth said in surprise. "What's wrong with you?"
"I got a note from my Healer telling me I was pregnant again."
"That's wonderful!" Seth exclaimed, clapping his hand on Molly's bony shoulder.
"Oh, yes! I want another child so very bad, but Arthur doesn't. Arthur's been so stressed with the lowered wages and all of the murders and expenses that he's resorted to drinking. He won't listen to me and whenever I try to reason with him, he just points out that I don't have a job." Molly sobbed.
"Drinking?" Seth exclaimed.
"It's horrid." Molly said, taking the drowsy Bill that had woken up because of the noise in her arms.
"Mummy, who is he?" Bill asked sleepily.
"This is your godfather, Billy." Molly said quietly.
"Well, not officially." Seth shrugged. "But I like it. Godfather Seth. It sounds like I'm some sort of hero or something."
Molly smiled weakly.
"Well, I've got to leave now." Seth said, handing Molly a pouch of coins. "If' you need anything, anything at all, you just owl me."
"Yes, but Seth."
"Yes?"
"Where do you get your money?" Molly asked.
"I'm a Spy for the Ministry. It's bloody dangerous, but pays even better." He said.
"Be careful, Seth." Molly said sincerely. "Please."
"I will." he said, kissing Molly's hand before Apparating away.
Molly opened the pouch of coins long after he left. Inside, there was two hundred glittering galleons. Arthur would be drunk when he came home, but perhaps he would be pleased. Molly sighed quietly and held Billy in the light of the candle placed on the table. He sat with her, feeling very comfortable in his mother's arms. Molly thought of what would become of her Billy. If they survived these dark times somehow, he would go to Hogwart's. Hopefully, he would be sorted into Gryffindor. She didn't think it to terrible to be sorted into Hufflepuff and she knew for a solid fact that due to genetic traits, Bill would never make it into Ravenclaw. But, if he were to get sorted into Slytherin due to his pureblood parents, Molly would think it was terribly odd and feel sorry for him.
Of course, Bill might not go to Hogwart's, she thought. If they could somehow escape to France, where there weren't as many murders at the hands of Voldemort and his Deatheaters then they could stay there and live their life. Bill could learn French and go to Beauxbatons, which was a fair school, although most who went there were filthy rich and the tuition, and school supplies were very pricey. She supposed Seth could help them out if that's what they decided. Ah, Seth. He was so very brave to risk his neck every single day of his life. Arthur and Molly had come to an agreement never to tell their children about Seth. What would they think if they knew that their own parents couldn't even support them? Of course the times were bad, but that still was no excuse.
Molly heard the door open and then slam shut violently. She sighed and held Bill a little tighter.
"Molly." Arthur said, walking into the kitchen. "Have we any food or have you gone and eaten it all?"
"Billy's a growing boy." whispered Molly.
"Why do you keep calling him Billy?" Arthur asked, a tinge of anger in his tired voice. "He's not a baby. He's almost four."
"That's still a baby." said Molly defensively. "And maybe if you spent more time with him, then you would feel a little more love to your son. Maybe you wouldn't want to hit him so bad."
"I don't want to hit him, I just want him to be disciplined." Arthur retorted, slamming a cabinet shut.
"He's just a baby, Arthur." Molly said quietly. "He doesn't need to be hit."
"He doesn't need to break things either." said Arthur angrily.
"Mummy?" Bill said groggily. "Mummy, I'm hungry."
"Yes, of course." Arthur said accusingly to Bill. "You're hungry and you've eaten already. I work my bloody ass off all day, get a few coins and come home to find my wife loafing on the coach."
"Stop it Arthur." Molly said.
"Why do you break things, Bill?" Arthur continued. "Don't you know it costs money to buy things? Why do you do it?"
"Arthur!"
"Mummy says I can't go to the park and have fun." Bill said. "I want to have fun."
"So you think it's fun to break things that you didn't even buy?" Arthur shouted. "You know what I think, Bill? I think that you need a good spanking to set you straight. I think that your mother is spoiling you with what money we have. Do you want to grow up to be a lazy stupid person, Bill?"
"Stop it!" Molly yelled, clutching Bill.
Bill started to sob in his mother's chest, clinging to her tattered shirt. Molly turned away from her husband towards the candle.
"I'm stupid." Bill wailed, his face turning red from sobbing.
"No, you're not Billy." said Molly, stroking his face. "You're very smart."
"Put him down." Arthur said calmly.
Molly dried Bill's tears with the sleeve of her shirt and put him down on the floor. Bill sat on the floor, still crying and hiccupping. Arthur went over and scooped him up in his arms and sat down on the couch with him. "What're you doing?" Molly asked. Arthur didn't answer.
"Hold out your hand, Bill." he said calmly.
"Arthur, no!" Molly said.
"It's for his own good and you know it." Arthur said.
"Why Daddy?" Bill asked.
"Don't you touch him!" Molly screamed, taking the child from Arthur.
Molly took the very confused toddler into the next room and sat at the kitchen table with him. Arthur came in, looking infuriated with Molly. He started to yell at her for not wanting to discipline her son. Then, he started to yell at her for not making any money and she retorted that he wouldn't let her. Arthur told her to give Bill to him. Molly yelled at him to leave the child alone and to go find a grown man to beat because she'd rather die then see Bill hurt. Arthur told her that she might as well die because she was of no use anyway.
Molly just stared at him.
Arthur shook his angry head and was about to head out the door when Molly shouted after him in a tearful voice.
"I'm pregnant!" She sobbed. "And you don't give a damn! You just don't care, Arthur!"
She heard the door slam violently and it was once again silent in the small house. Bill sat on the floor of his parent's room, being put there when the fighting was too intense. Molly opened the door to find Bill looking quite tearful. She picked him up and laid him beside her on the big bed. He looked at his mother, very confused. It felt like it was his fault. He felt like a bad boy. He watched his mother cry in her sleep like a disturbed child and released himself with some difficulty from her embrace. Molly stirred slightly, but didn't wake.
Little Bill walked through the quiet house and when he reached the door, he sat in front of it. He stared at the huge wooden mass. His father had called him stupid. He wasn't exactly sure what being stupid was, but he knew it was very bad. His daddy had yelled and his mommy had yelled back. His mommy had cried. Bill felt bad. When his father came home, he would hold out his hand like his father had asked. He did not care if his father hurt him. All Little Bill wanted with his innocent little heart was for his mother to stop crying in her restless sleep.
After a long hour and a half, the door creaked open and Arthur Weasley opened and to his surprise, found his son sitting there, waiting for him.
"Bill, what are you doing up?" He said. "It's late."
"Daddy." Bill said, holding out his small hand and crying great globby tears. "Mommy is sad."
"Why are you holding your hand out, Bill?" Arthur asked, kneeling in front of the small boy, and to his surprise, found that he was shaking.
"You have to punish me." He whimpered, sobbing. "Make mummy stop crying."
Arthur sighed deeply. "I'm not going to punish you."
"Where did you go?" Bill asked.
"You know what I think, Bill?" He asked his son, scooping him up and walking over to the couch in which Bill slept. "I think that your mum is a nut case."
"Do you love mummy?"
Arthur looked at his son blankly as if he had asked an unthinkable question.
"Do you love mummy?" He repeated.
"I'm not sure. I'm not really sure about anything anymore, Billy." Arthur shook his head. "I just need some time to myself for awhile. Tell your mother that I'll send money for food."
"Daddy!" Bill said, reaching his short little arms up when his father laid him down.
"Good night, Billy."
"Good night, Daddy."
Arthur Weasley wandered around to his bedroom and peeked in the door. Molly slept restlessly and Arthur could hear her sobbing in her sleep. He didn't know what he felt towards her now. It was a mix of anger and hate and ... love. It seemed impossible, but he still loved her. It seemed that he would always love her, no matter what happened, he would always love her. He just needed some time to love himself. He gave her a smile that she couldn't see and went to the front door.
"Bye bye."
Arthur turned around and saw Bill still awake, tears running down his chubby face and his tiny hand waving to him. Arthur fought the tears that ultimately escaped his eyes and with second thoughts filling his mind, walked out the front door. He left his pregnant wife and his tiny child alone in the dark.
~-~-~-
Molly sat in her best set of clothes at their dining table. Where had she gone wrong? What had she done to deserve Arthur's hatred? She cried silently as she watched Bill sleep on the couch. She didn't understand why Arthur wanted to hit poor Billy. She didn't understand why all of this had to happen to her. She didn't understand what Laura did to the rest of the world for her to die. She didn't understand. She didn't want to understand because, she had a funny feeling that understanding would be to accept the truth. To accept the truth that she was a failure that Arthur just didn't love. That she was just another girlfriend. She sobbed harder.
Molly felt a tug at her skirt and looked down to see her little Billy, who looked groggy. "Mummy, I'm hungry." She smiled tenderly at him and reached into their cabinet and brought out an apple, which chopped very slowly in small bits. Bill crawled up into her lap and he ate them, while offering her some in the process. She smiled tenderly and embraced her little boy, not understanding how a child so beautiful could exist on this Earth. Molly sighed.
There was a knock at the door.
Molly felt every muscle in her body tense up. She squeezed Bill tight and he looked up at her questioningly.
"Who is it Mummy?" He whispered.
"Shush." Molly said quietly, putting her thin hand over his mouth.
Molly knew it couldn't have been Seth. Seth was just here yesterday. Molly was insanely terrified. Her entire body was shaking with fear and she slowly stood up, still clutching her child, who seemed oddly heavy despite his malnutrition. She thought to ask who it was, but decided against it. If they didn't think anyone was in the house, they would just go away, it was that simple. At least, that's what she told herself.
No. They would burn their house to the ground if they thought no one was in it just because they didn't like it. Molly made herself stop trembling and opened the window just above the kitchen sink. She climbed up onto the kitchen counter, still clutching her son, muffling his whimpers of fear in her shirt. She leaped silently from the window sill to the ground five feet below. She stumbled, but found herself unharmed as well as Bill. She felt her voice tremble as she told her son "Don't be afraid, Billy. It's all going to be all right."
She ran into the forest. She suddenly felt the horrible feeling that she was being watched. Not only being watched, but also being followed and stalked. The most horrible part was the person that was following was walking slowly and not running because they knew she would soon be trapped. There was no escape. This was her end. She felt the fear of death. Not the death of her, Molly Weasley, but the death of Bill. To live with causing the death of a child that had not even yet begun to live. She wouldn't allow him to die! She would lay herself down before Voldemort could get his stupid hands on her perfect child.
She collided with a human body.
"Miss, are you alright?"
Molly stared up at the tall man. She recognized him. He was the muggle that ran her landlord's garden. But, what on Earth was he doing in this part of the woods? He looked down at her with worry and shock that a tiny woman could have ran that fast and have collided with him that hard.
Molly knew that Voldemort could sense Wizard Blood. He would only kill muggles if they were in his way. If she gave her son to this man, maybe, just maybe, he would escape and be alive. She knew she couldn't run any further, she was about to pass out from fatigue. She stood up shakily and, still trembling, she handed her crying son to the gardener. He looked at her in shock.
"Take him." she said.
"What? Why? Is something wrong?" asked the man.
"Tell your employer to contact Arthur Weasley. That is Arthur Weasley's son. His name is Bill." Molly said quickly. "Now, run! Get as far away from these woods as you can. Go beyond David Love's house."
"I don't understand --"
"Just go!" She pleaded with all the voice she could muster.
The man hesitated for a few seconds.
"Please." Molly begged.
"Alright." He nodded. "Bill will be safe with me."
"Thank you so much." Molly said with deep gratitude.
She only saw him turn his back to run when she turned around and started to run back towards her home. It was the probably the stupidest thing she had ever done in her entire life. Yet, she couldn't remember a time when she had ever been surer of anything at all. She felt herself short of breath to the point of collapsing, but kept going. The further she was from Bill, the better. The sooner she met her death, the safer her child would be.
Someone grabbed her wrist and pulled her to the ground, pointing a wand to her head.
"Weasley."
"Narcissa?" Molly breathed.
"Shut up." Narcissa scowled. "You're not good enough for the Dark Lord to waste his magic on. You may be a pureblood, but you're poor as dirt. I don't want to kill you quickly. I'd much rather leave your bloody corpse just breathing, but sure to die, for your husband to find."
From the shadows stepped the hooded and cloaked figures of Deatheaters. Molly trembled in fear as she saw something else emerge from the horrible shadows. Four Dementors crawled out of the shadows. She felt the world around her slowly disappear as the Deatheaters, one of whom she recognized as a fellow Gryffindor, namely Peter Pettigrew, James' friend, beat her. She felt the happy thoughts of hope escape her mind and the world felt like nothing would ever be happy again. Before she passed out from the pain and exhaustion, she found what might have been her last comforting thought.
Bill and Arthur were still alive.
And that was all that really mattered.
~-~-~-~-
Arthur sat in the Leaky Cauldron, a mug of beer in front of him, not drunk. He stared at the bartender, who was an old woman. She rubbed a dirty rag on some even dirtier mugs. She gave him a small smile. Arthur didn't bother to smile back. Too many things were on his mind at the moment.
He was thinking of Molly. Did she really mean that she was pregnant? Had she just said that to get his attention? He hoped for another boy and he knew that she probably wanted a girl. They had their boy, Bill, and this next child would determine whether they had six more girls or five more boys and a girl. He smiled. He liked the name Charlie. He was certain it would be a boy. But, if it happened to be a girl, then he supposed that he had always liked the name Virginia, Ginny for short. Although, Laura was a very beautiful name, he would never any more of his children that, not even as a middle name. It would hurt too much to look at that one child and he couldn't do that to his child. That is, unless, he named all of them Laura. Which, of course, Molly would have his head detached if he even so much as suggested something like that.
"There was a murder." grumbled the Auror sitting next to Arthur.
"Where?" another man asked.
"Somewhere in the muggle area. It was a small hut that was attacked, it didn't seem large enough to suit even one person. Records showed that three people were living there." said the Auror.
"Are they dead?"
"Don't know." the Auror mumbled. "The whole thing burned to the ground. If there was anyone in that house, their body would probably so mangled and deformed that no one could even recognize it as a human body."
In his heart, Arthur knew it was his home that was gone. He knew that it was probably his beloved Molly and Billy that lay within the ashes. He knew that every hope and dream and love he ever had was smoldering in the middle of nowhere, as if it hadn't even existed at all. But, in his heart, he just didn't want to believe it. He kept creating pity for the sorry wizards that died in that tragic accident. He kept telling himself that Molly and Bill would be loafing on the coach when he returned, asking him for food which he so willingly dished out for them.
No longer interested in the Auror's conversation, Arthur turned his attention to listening to the indistinct chatter of everyone in the Leaky Cauldron. He heard the door in the back open and close in a sense of urgency. The person that had entered was apparently in a hurry and frantic state of worry. Arthur wondered what he wanted as he sipped at his drink.
"Arthur Weasley!"
Arthur turned around and saw David Love, his landlord and protector. Arthur slid off of his stool, after leaving a few Knuts to pay for his drink. David nodded towards him. "Follow me." he said. He took Arthur out of the Leaky Cauldron and into the Children's Toy Store in Diagon Alley. Arthur thought that David was playing some sort of a joke or implying that he didn't give his children enough toys to play with. He looked at David with questioning eyes. He suddenly felt a tug at his pant leg and looked down with some surprise to see his son, Bill.
"My muggle worker was in the forest yesterday to collect some moss for me." David said. "And he said that a woman suddenly collided with him. He described her as having vibrant red hair and being petite with tattered clothes."
"So Molly was wandering around in the forest carelessly." Arthur said calmly. "What's wrong with that?"
"The gardener said that she ran off in the opposite direction." said David. "I don't know where your wife is and what condition she's in, but I suggest you take Bill and find out before it's too late."
"Right." Arthur nodded, taking Bill's hand. "Thank you."
~-~-~-
He felt the realization hit him slowly. The realization that three years of hard work and sweat and blood now lay in smoldering ashes. It was the realization that his Molly now was part of the ashes along with his son who had not yet been born. The shock crept into his mind like a horrible, venomous snake and seemed to inject its venom slowly. He felt Bill tug at his shirt, and looking up at him with the wet blue eyes of his mother.
"Daddy." Bill said. "I'm hungry. Where is mummy?"
"In the ashes, Bill."
Arthur picked up his son and just held him. He didn't know why he didn't cry. He didn't know why he only felt a feeling of great disbelief instead of sorrow that every hope and dream he had ever had now lay in the smoldering ashes. What would he do now? He'd have to put Bill in foster care or in an orphanage. He wouldn't be able to go on. He knew he missed Molly already. He knew that there was no one else in the world for him. He put his sobbing son down.
"Wait here, Bill." he said.
Arthur walked past the smoldering ashes and into the forest beyond. Maybe Molly was still alive. Maybe she was just sleeping on the forest floor, too tired and weak from malnutrition. Maybe she was just playing a very funny joke him and when he found her, she would pop out and yell "Boo!" Arthur treaded through the trees earnestly, looking for the head of red that he had run his hands through so many times.
"Molly!"
She was leaning against a tree, sobbing and shaking. Blood ran down her face and soaked her clothes. Her eyes were half open and she looked dazed. Arthur walked over to her and kneeled beside her. She didn't look over at him, but merely sat, still shivering and sobbing.
"Molly." Arthur said. "What happened?"
"You don't love me." Molly said softly in a trembling voice. "You don't love me. Go away."
"Of course I love you." Arthur said quietly.
"No." Molly sobbed, in barely a whisper. "You're a liar."
"Molly, it's okay." Arthur said. "I'll get you to St. Mungo's and then you'll be just fine."
"How do I know," Molly whispered. "that you won't toss me into the ashes to burn?"
"I would never do that." Arthur said, picking her up.
Molly leaned her bloody head against his chest as he carried her light body towards their smoldering house. Arthur was greatly disturbed as he walked with his dying wife in his arms. How could she possibly say that he, of all people, didn't love her? How could she think that he would throw her into the smoldering ashes to burn like he was a heartless Deatheater? He reached the ashes and saw Bill, sobbing hysterically, and laying on the ground.
"Bill?" Arthur said, laying down his wife on the dead grass. "What's wrong? What've you done?"
Bill didn't answer, but merely held his hands up for his father to examine. Blood ran down his hands and ashes clung to the raw wounds. Flesh was peeled of and hung in strands on his tiny hands. Arthur wanted to take hold of Bill's hands and heal them, but it only then occurred to him that he had neither the wand nor the knowledge to. Instead, he picked up his unconscious wife and told his tiny, bleeding child to follow him down the road two miles to a portkey.
~-~-~-~-
Once again, Arthur sat in a waiting room of St. Mungo's. Only this time, it was the Waiting Room for patients that needed serious attention. The Healer had informed Arthur that Dementors had visited his wife while being beaten mercilessly by Deatheaters. Arthur had only nodded when the Healer told him that there was a seventy-five percent chance that the child she was carrying would be a stillbirth. Arthur had asked about getting an abortion for her, but the Healer said that with her current condition, it would be to risky and that they would just have to wait until the child was actually born.
The Healer had put Bill and Molly in the same room. Molly had not completely healed and it was recommended that she have more time in the hospital, but the injuries caused by Voldemort would growing more and more very day and they were only permitted to stay the time that was absolutely necessary. Molly was still shaken from the Dementors, but was no longer throwing paranoid accusations at her husband. As for Bill, the Healer had failed to realize what he had done with his hands. All he knew is that Bill's hands were going to have scars for the rest of his life that would bleed when he came in contact with something that reminded him of that day. They were cursed scars that would never go away.
Arthur paid the Bill with what coins he had left. He walked over to Bill and Molly, who were sitting in the lobby. The Healer had given Bill a pair of dragon hide gloves as an act of kindness. Arthur looked down at the two, not really knowing what to say.
"What happened to your hands, Bill?" Arthur asked quietly.
"You said that mummy was in the ashes." said Bill, starting to cry. "I wanted to find mummy."
"Oh, Billy." Molly said, holding her child tight and kissing the top of his head.
"I hate you." Bill said quietly. "I hate you Daddy."
Arthur stepped back in shock.
"No, no, Billy." Molly said. "Don't say that."
"I hate you!" Bill screamed, sobbing.
Arthur said nothing, and only turned away from his child whose face was now buried into his mother's shirt. Molly walked over to her husband and put her hand on his shoulder. He put his own calloused hand on hers and they just stood there, neither knowing what to say; neither wanting to say anything.
"He doesn't mean it." Molly said.
"I'm a horrible father." Arthur said angrily, turning to her. "I'm a horrible excuse for a person! Where was I when Voldemort attacked our home? I was out getting bloody drunk! God!"
"Everyone makes mistakes." she said, looking up at him. "Arthur, no one expects you to be perfect."
"Bill does." Arthur said. "And now I've gone and let him down. It's my fault that Bill will never have normal hands."
"I want to go home." Bill sobbed. "Mummy, I want to go home."
Molly put her hand on the back of Bill's head and rocked him gently. Where would home be from now on? thought Arthur. All that was left of the home that they had once known were ashes and bad memories. They couldn't possibly go and trouble Seth, for Seth lived on the roads, always spying on Voldemort. They had no one else to trouble except Arthur's parents, which he simply would not allow himself to sink so low as to ask for assistance from his parents.
"There's a place I've heard about," Molly said. "That houses and feeds victims of Voldemort's wrath."
"I don't want pity from anyone." Arthur spat, glaring at her.
"I don't care about being pitiful." Molly said. "I just want Bill to have a warm place to sleep tonight."
Arthur was silent as he lead his family out of the hospital and into to the busy streets of Diagon Alley. He put his arm around Molly and sighed a sigh that seemed to come from the bottom of his feet and circulated from every vein his body. He looked at his tiny wife and his even smaller child, who would always have scars because of him. Bill might never forgive me, thought Arthur. He might grow up to hate me. I don't know if I could take that. I love him more then anything and want to be the best father I can be, but today, I've proven myself not worthy of his love. I only hope that one day he can find it in his heart to forgive me. There's so much I want to give him but can't. Bill will grow to be a strong boy that his brothers and sister can look up to. And one day, if he never forgives me, I know he will commit a wrong against his children and feel as rotten as I do now and will forgive me. That is all I can hope for now.
"I hoped," Molly sobbed. "that Bill would grow up in a world free of this horror. The day that no person will die at the hands of a merciless murderer seems so far away. Tomorrow seems even further away. Sometimes, I think that I'm not strong enough to reach tomorrow. But then, I think that if I was not there for Billy tomorrow, then he might not have a tomorrow either. And the child I'm carrying will grow up in a world as lost and chaotic as it is now and the children to come will know no peace. I can't bear it if that were to happen."
"Neither could I." Arthur said quietly.
"Where do we go now?" Molly asked. "Where do we go now that everything we ever had is gone? Where do we turn?"
"I think that this what vagabonds must feel like." Arthur said. "They don't know exactly where they are going, or why. They don't know where their next meal will come from or their next sign of comfort or compassion. But, they keep going. And that, My Molly, is that we must do."
"Wander around like fools?" Molly said, a hint of laughter in her voice.
"Wander around like fools until we find other fools that are willing to help fools like us." Arthur smiled.
Bill slept against his mother's chest and Molly and Arthur started the long walk to the train station. Where they would get the money for their train ticket or where their train ticket would take them, they did not know for sure. All they really knew is that was some hope in this world and it was just itching for them to find it. And they would find it because it was part of their destiny and not even God himself could change that. So, penniless and tired with only the clothes on their back, three Weasley's walked towards the sunset, feeling so much older then they really were mean to, but still somehow feeling immature and youthful.
"I never understood Janitors." said Molly thoughtfully. "You clean up the mess people make, and you make a few sickles, and that's good for you, but then what? There's no room for thought or dreaming!"
"Well, Molly dearest, I do believe that many of my dreams came true because of the mop I carried." Arthur smiled.
"You've not imagination, Arthur. None at all." Molly pouted. She was quiet for a few minutes before speaking again. "You know what I heard once?"
"What?"
"That a phoenix is reborn from the ashes. But, without dying, it cannot be reborn as something more beautiful." Molly said. "Do you think that we'll ever be able to see a phoenix?"
"Maybe." Arthur shrugged.
"Maybe." Molly repeated.
Maybe ...
There was no doubt about it. Bill Weasley was the most beautiful child in the entire universe. He had red hair like his mother and his father and had a spray of freckles over his nose and had beautiful, bright blue eyes like his mother. Molly often argued that he had inherited Arthur's hands and nose, but Arthur said that everyone's hands and ears looked generally the same and there was no need to categorize them by parents. Bill had been born a healthy baby, although he was two months early. Although Bill's parents wanted to spoil him with all of their hearts, they simply didn't have the money to spoil a child.
Bill only grew more beautiful with time. He often found his own forms of entertainment around the small hut in which they lived. Molly had suggested she get a babysitter for Bill and go out and look for a job, but Arthur had simply said, "I'm not going to let a stranger raise my child." Molly had pouted for a day or two, but had come to the conclusion that she, too, would rather raise her child then go to work for a rich wizard. Although Bill was very calm while he was sleeping, he was very hyperactive when awake. He broke things quite often and Arthur wanted to punish him (give him a time out, or a good spanking). But, Molly would not allow it. Even though she generally agreed with her husband, she put her foot down. She would never let her children get hit or spanked. She found it horrible and inhuman.
"You can't! He's your son. Do you honestly want to hit your son?" asked Molly in a pleading voice.
"Do you want him to get spoiled?"
"We needn't worry about spoiling Billy." Molly said defensively. "Because we haven't the money in which to spoil him."
"Well, Molly Dearest." Arthur said coldly. "I don't see you pulling in money for this family."
"If you'd stop spending it on alcohol maybe we would."
"So, I'm not allowed to have a drink just because you don't have a job?" Arthur asked.
"It's a bad influence on Billy." she said. "How would you've liked to grown up with a drunk father?"
Arthur had glared at her and then stormed out of the house. Molly had cried afterwards as she did the few dishes they had. She took her son in her arms and nestled her face in his soft red hair. She hoped that he wasn't picking any of these things up. She closed her eyes and held her son closer. Times were dark, very dark and it was all she could do to keep from giving up. She would do anything to protect her little boy from anything.
It was all over the newspapers. There was a man named Voldemort. He killed people if they didn't join him on the dark side. He knew of every wizard family on the earth and terrorized muggles also. Molly was scared out of her mind to leave the house or leave Bill alone anywhere at anytime. She didn't want to die. Of course, living didn't seem much better, but she wanted to live for Bill. She wanted to protect him from the horrors of Voldemort.
Arthur was stressed. His wages had been lowered tremendously because of all of the new Aurors that were needed to fight off Voldemort. One night, Arthur had commented cruelly that they didn't need Aurors because Voldemort would just kill them off anyway. Molly had cried and Arthur had gone out. A wife and small child weren't easy to support on a Janitor's wages, especially lowered ones. But, they got by. Gringott's would protect what money they had. Molly didn't eat much, but gave most of her food to Bill. He was a growing boy, after all.
"Mummy." Bill said, clinging to her neck. "Why can't I go to the park like the muggle children? They look like they have fun."
"We're safe here." Molly responded. "And I think that you can have a lot of fun right in this house, Billy."
"Why was daddy mad?" Bill asked. "Why did he run away?"
"Shh." Molly said "Daddy's just very sad."
Molly so wanted to tell her son of Voldemort and give him correct explanations as to why he could not go to the muggle park with the muggle children and play in the woods and go out to get water from the well. She wanted to tell him that his father was very stressed because of money and fire whiskey. Of course Molly supported his right to drink! But did he have to do it so compulsively? She would've felt so much better if Arthur came home after work to share a meal with his family and just be there in case Voldemort came. She shivered at the thought of dying at his hands.
Bill's bed was the small couch that Arthur had managed to buy at a second hand furniture shop. Molly had tried to sew it up and make it as presentable as possible. Children's beds were expensive and they just couldn't afford it. Molly, however, had insisted on a nice blanket and pillow for Bill. Arthur had argued that Bill didn't need a pillow, but Molly had put her foot down and said that she would not have her child sleeping without a pillow. Arthur had sighed and humbled himself to let Bill choose a fairly expensive blanket and pillow for his bed.
Bill was half asleep at noon when Molly had finished crying. She carefully lay him down on his bed and covered him with his blanket. She smiled at the child. Just as she was about to take a nap herself, the window burst open and a barn owl flew in and dropped a letter on the dinner table. Molly looked worriedly over at her sleeping son, afraid the noise might have awakened him. He turned over in his sleep, but did not open his eyes. Molly sighed quietly. "Bloody owls. Why couldn't it be pocket mice or rats delivering letters? No, it had to be the bloody owls. It had to be the bloody owls."
Molly looked at the envelope sitting on the table. It was addressed to her and had the stamp of St. Mungo's. Molly had gone for a check up with her Healer (You don't look well. Arthur had said) a few weeks ago. He said he'd send her the results. When he didn't send them for a few days, Molly figured that he'd forgotten. Now, Molly only worried that Arthur hadn't paid the bill in full and they were being charged extra money. It was extra money that they didn't have, of course. Molly opened the envelope, and read it quietly to herself.
"Dear Mrs. Weasley." She read. "I've examined the results of the tests we ran a few weeks ago. The results show that you are pregnant with a boy. Sincerely, Healer Lonx."
What would Arthur think? They could barely afford to feed and clothe Bill, how much more another baby? Seth had disappeared after Laura's birth and Arthur didn't want to get a hold of him to ask for money. Arthur insisted that he didn't need his best friend to support his family. But, what choice did Molly have now? She was going to bring another life into this world. This was a world of horrors and terrors and death. This world that hope was so rare to find.
There was a knock at the door.
Molly's entire body froze up. She walked over to Bill's bed and took the cotton blanket and draped it over his face so he looked like a pile of laundry. If Voldemort had come for her, then so be it, but she would never let them have Bill. The knock came again, more persistent this time. Arthur never knocked, after all, it was his house and he had a key. Molly felt the tears of fear well up in her throat. If she didn't answer the door, he would come in and kill Bill. She had to be brave for Bill. She walked slowly across her living room, which suddenly seemed even smaller to walk across.
She felt the cool metal beneath her fingers as she grasped the doorknob. She swallowed the hard lump that had been forming in her throat. She took a deep breath and pulled the door open.
"Molly!" Seth exclaimed, taking her into his arms and spinning her around.
"Seth, what on earth are you doing here?" Molly asked him.
"I was worried about you. I haven't heard from you or Arthur years. I was afraid that Voldemort had gotten hold of you." Seth half yelled.
"Shush." Molly hissed. "You'll wake Billy."
"Billy? You've a cat?" Seth said.
"Arthur hates cats." said Molly. "We've a child, Seth. Oh, you must come see, he's the most beautiful child on this planet. Come on."
She led Seth into the living room where Bill napped peacefully. Seth looked on in tender shock. Molly and Arthur certainly were young, but they weren't stupid. And this child confirmed that. It was suddenly apparent to Seth that Arthur did know what he was doing when he married Molly. Seth suddenly felt so jealous of Arthur, having a wonderful family and a wonderful wife at his age.
"He looks like you." said Seth, smiling.
"Oh, Seth." Molly was sobbing. "I can't do this anymore."
"Can't do what?" Seth said in surprise. "What's wrong with you?"
"I got a note from my Healer telling me I was pregnant again."
"That's wonderful!" Seth exclaimed, clapping his hand on Molly's bony shoulder.
"Oh, yes! I want another child so very bad, but Arthur doesn't. Arthur's been so stressed with the lowered wages and all of the murders and expenses that he's resorted to drinking. He won't listen to me and whenever I try to reason with him, he just points out that I don't have a job." Molly sobbed.
"Drinking?" Seth exclaimed.
"It's horrid." Molly said, taking the drowsy Bill that had woken up because of the noise in her arms.
"Mummy, who is he?" Bill asked sleepily.
"This is your godfather, Billy." Molly said quietly.
"Well, not officially." Seth shrugged. "But I like it. Godfather Seth. It sounds like I'm some sort of hero or something."
Molly smiled weakly.
"Well, I've got to leave now." Seth said, handing Molly a pouch of coins. "If' you need anything, anything at all, you just owl me."
"Yes, but Seth."
"Yes?"
"Where do you get your money?" Molly asked.
"I'm a Spy for the Ministry. It's bloody dangerous, but pays even better." He said.
"Be careful, Seth." Molly said sincerely. "Please."
"I will." he said, kissing Molly's hand before Apparating away.
Molly opened the pouch of coins long after he left. Inside, there was two hundred glittering galleons. Arthur would be drunk when he came home, but perhaps he would be pleased. Molly sighed quietly and held Billy in the light of the candle placed on the table. He sat with her, feeling very comfortable in his mother's arms. Molly thought of what would become of her Billy. If they survived these dark times somehow, he would go to Hogwart's. Hopefully, he would be sorted into Gryffindor. She didn't think it to terrible to be sorted into Hufflepuff and she knew for a solid fact that due to genetic traits, Bill would never make it into Ravenclaw. But, if he were to get sorted into Slytherin due to his pureblood parents, Molly would think it was terribly odd and feel sorry for him.
Of course, Bill might not go to Hogwart's, she thought. If they could somehow escape to France, where there weren't as many murders at the hands of Voldemort and his Deatheaters then they could stay there and live their life. Bill could learn French and go to Beauxbatons, which was a fair school, although most who went there were filthy rich and the tuition, and school supplies were very pricey. She supposed Seth could help them out if that's what they decided. Ah, Seth. He was so very brave to risk his neck every single day of his life. Arthur and Molly had come to an agreement never to tell their children about Seth. What would they think if they knew that their own parents couldn't even support them? Of course the times were bad, but that still was no excuse.
Molly heard the door open and then slam shut violently. She sighed and held Bill a little tighter.
"Molly." Arthur said, walking into the kitchen. "Have we any food or have you gone and eaten it all?"
"Billy's a growing boy." whispered Molly.
"Why do you keep calling him Billy?" Arthur asked, a tinge of anger in his tired voice. "He's not a baby. He's almost four."
"That's still a baby." said Molly defensively. "And maybe if you spent more time with him, then you would feel a little more love to your son. Maybe you wouldn't want to hit him so bad."
"I don't want to hit him, I just want him to be disciplined." Arthur retorted, slamming a cabinet shut.
"He's just a baby, Arthur." Molly said quietly. "He doesn't need to be hit."
"He doesn't need to break things either." said Arthur angrily.
"Mummy?" Bill said groggily. "Mummy, I'm hungry."
"Yes, of course." Arthur said accusingly to Bill. "You're hungry and you've eaten already. I work my bloody ass off all day, get a few coins and come home to find my wife loafing on the coach."
"Stop it Arthur." Molly said.
"Why do you break things, Bill?" Arthur continued. "Don't you know it costs money to buy things? Why do you do it?"
"Arthur!"
"Mummy says I can't go to the park and have fun." Bill said. "I want to have fun."
"So you think it's fun to break things that you didn't even buy?" Arthur shouted. "You know what I think, Bill? I think that you need a good spanking to set you straight. I think that your mother is spoiling you with what money we have. Do you want to grow up to be a lazy stupid person, Bill?"
"Stop it!" Molly yelled, clutching Bill.
Bill started to sob in his mother's chest, clinging to her tattered shirt. Molly turned away from her husband towards the candle.
"I'm stupid." Bill wailed, his face turning red from sobbing.
"No, you're not Billy." said Molly, stroking his face. "You're very smart."
"Put him down." Arthur said calmly.
Molly dried Bill's tears with the sleeve of her shirt and put him down on the floor. Bill sat on the floor, still crying and hiccupping. Arthur went over and scooped him up in his arms and sat down on the couch with him. "What're you doing?" Molly asked. Arthur didn't answer.
"Hold out your hand, Bill." he said calmly.
"Arthur, no!" Molly said.
"It's for his own good and you know it." Arthur said.
"Why Daddy?" Bill asked.
"Don't you touch him!" Molly screamed, taking the child from Arthur.
Molly took the very confused toddler into the next room and sat at the kitchen table with him. Arthur came in, looking infuriated with Molly. He started to yell at her for not wanting to discipline her son. Then, he started to yell at her for not making any money and she retorted that he wouldn't let her. Arthur told her to give Bill to him. Molly yelled at him to leave the child alone and to go find a grown man to beat because she'd rather die then see Bill hurt. Arthur told her that she might as well die because she was of no use anyway.
Molly just stared at him.
Arthur shook his angry head and was about to head out the door when Molly shouted after him in a tearful voice.
"I'm pregnant!" She sobbed. "And you don't give a damn! You just don't care, Arthur!"
She heard the door slam violently and it was once again silent in the small house. Bill sat on the floor of his parent's room, being put there when the fighting was too intense. Molly opened the door to find Bill looking quite tearful. She picked him up and laid him beside her on the big bed. He looked at his mother, very confused. It felt like it was his fault. He felt like a bad boy. He watched his mother cry in her sleep like a disturbed child and released himself with some difficulty from her embrace. Molly stirred slightly, but didn't wake.
Little Bill walked through the quiet house and when he reached the door, he sat in front of it. He stared at the huge wooden mass. His father had called him stupid. He wasn't exactly sure what being stupid was, but he knew it was very bad. His daddy had yelled and his mommy had yelled back. His mommy had cried. Bill felt bad. When his father came home, he would hold out his hand like his father had asked. He did not care if his father hurt him. All Little Bill wanted with his innocent little heart was for his mother to stop crying in her restless sleep.
After a long hour and a half, the door creaked open and Arthur Weasley opened and to his surprise, found his son sitting there, waiting for him.
"Bill, what are you doing up?" He said. "It's late."
"Daddy." Bill said, holding out his small hand and crying great globby tears. "Mommy is sad."
"Why are you holding your hand out, Bill?" Arthur asked, kneeling in front of the small boy, and to his surprise, found that he was shaking.
"You have to punish me." He whimpered, sobbing. "Make mummy stop crying."
Arthur sighed deeply. "I'm not going to punish you."
"Where did you go?" Bill asked.
"You know what I think, Bill?" He asked his son, scooping him up and walking over to the couch in which Bill slept. "I think that your mum is a nut case."
"Do you love mummy?"
Arthur looked at his son blankly as if he had asked an unthinkable question.
"Do you love mummy?" He repeated.
"I'm not sure. I'm not really sure about anything anymore, Billy." Arthur shook his head. "I just need some time to myself for awhile. Tell your mother that I'll send money for food."
"Daddy!" Bill said, reaching his short little arms up when his father laid him down.
"Good night, Billy."
"Good night, Daddy."
Arthur Weasley wandered around to his bedroom and peeked in the door. Molly slept restlessly and Arthur could hear her sobbing in her sleep. He didn't know what he felt towards her now. It was a mix of anger and hate and ... love. It seemed impossible, but he still loved her. It seemed that he would always love her, no matter what happened, he would always love her. He just needed some time to love himself. He gave her a smile that she couldn't see and went to the front door.
"Bye bye."
Arthur turned around and saw Bill still awake, tears running down his chubby face and his tiny hand waving to him. Arthur fought the tears that ultimately escaped his eyes and with second thoughts filling his mind, walked out the front door. He left his pregnant wife and his tiny child alone in the dark.
~-~-~-
Molly sat in her best set of clothes at their dining table. Where had she gone wrong? What had she done to deserve Arthur's hatred? She cried silently as she watched Bill sleep on the couch. She didn't understand why Arthur wanted to hit poor Billy. She didn't understand why all of this had to happen to her. She didn't understand what Laura did to the rest of the world for her to die. She didn't understand. She didn't want to understand because, she had a funny feeling that understanding would be to accept the truth. To accept the truth that she was a failure that Arthur just didn't love. That she was just another girlfriend. She sobbed harder.
Molly felt a tug at her skirt and looked down to see her little Billy, who looked groggy. "Mummy, I'm hungry." She smiled tenderly at him and reached into their cabinet and brought out an apple, which chopped very slowly in small bits. Bill crawled up into her lap and he ate them, while offering her some in the process. She smiled tenderly and embraced her little boy, not understanding how a child so beautiful could exist on this Earth. Molly sighed.
There was a knock at the door.
Molly felt every muscle in her body tense up. She squeezed Bill tight and he looked up at her questioningly.
"Who is it Mummy?" He whispered.
"Shush." Molly said quietly, putting her thin hand over his mouth.
Molly knew it couldn't have been Seth. Seth was just here yesterday. Molly was insanely terrified. Her entire body was shaking with fear and she slowly stood up, still clutching her child, who seemed oddly heavy despite his malnutrition. She thought to ask who it was, but decided against it. If they didn't think anyone was in the house, they would just go away, it was that simple. At least, that's what she told herself.
No. They would burn their house to the ground if they thought no one was in it just because they didn't like it. Molly made herself stop trembling and opened the window just above the kitchen sink. She climbed up onto the kitchen counter, still clutching her son, muffling his whimpers of fear in her shirt. She leaped silently from the window sill to the ground five feet below. She stumbled, but found herself unharmed as well as Bill. She felt her voice tremble as she told her son "Don't be afraid, Billy. It's all going to be all right."
She ran into the forest. She suddenly felt the horrible feeling that she was being watched. Not only being watched, but also being followed and stalked. The most horrible part was the person that was following was walking slowly and not running because they knew she would soon be trapped. There was no escape. This was her end. She felt the fear of death. Not the death of her, Molly Weasley, but the death of Bill. To live with causing the death of a child that had not even yet begun to live. She wouldn't allow him to die! She would lay herself down before Voldemort could get his stupid hands on her perfect child.
She collided with a human body.
"Miss, are you alright?"
Molly stared up at the tall man. She recognized him. He was the muggle that ran her landlord's garden. But, what on Earth was he doing in this part of the woods? He looked down at her with worry and shock that a tiny woman could have ran that fast and have collided with him that hard.
Molly knew that Voldemort could sense Wizard Blood. He would only kill muggles if they were in his way. If she gave her son to this man, maybe, just maybe, he would escape and be alive. She knew she couldn't run any further, she was about to pass out from fatigue. She stood up shakily and, still trembling, she handed her crying son to the gardener. He looked at her in shock.
"Take him." she said.
"What? Why? Is something wrong?" asked the man.
"Tell your employer to contact Arthur Weasley. That is Arthur Weasley's son. His name is Bill." Molly said quickly. "Now, run! Get as far away from these woods as you can. Go beyond David Love's house."
"I don't understand --"
"Just go!" She pleaded with all the voice she could muster.
The man hesitated for a few seconds.
"Please." Molly begged.
"Alright." He nodded. "Bill will be safe with me."
"Thank you so much." Molly said with deep gratitude.
She only saw him turn his back to run when she turned around and started to run back towards her home. It was the probably the stupidest thing she had ever done in her entire life. Yet, she couldn't remember a time when she had ever been surer of anything at all. She felt herself short of breath to the point of collapsing, but kept going. The further she was from Bill, the better. The sooner she met her death, the safer her child would be.
Someone grabbed her wrist and pulled her to the ground, pointing a wand to her head.
"Weasley."
"Narcissa?" Molly breathed.
"Shut up." Narcissa scowled. "You're not good enough for the Dark Lord to waste his magic on. You may be a pureblood, but you're poor as dirt. I don't want to kill you quickly. I'd much rather leave your bloody corpse just breathing, but sure to die, for your husband to find."
From the shadows stepped the hooded and cloaked figures of Deatheaters. Molly trembled in fear as she saw something else emerge from the horrible shadows. Four Dementors crawled out of the shadows. She felt the world around her slowly disappear as the Deatheaters, one of whom she recognized as a fellow Gryffindor, namely Peter Pettigrew, James' friend, beat her. She felt the happy thoughts of hope escape her mind and the world felt like nothing would ever be happy again. Before she passed out from the pain and exhaustion, she found what might have been her last comforting thought.
Bill and Arthur were still alive.
And that was all that really mattered.
~-~-~-~-
Arthur sat in the Leaky Cauldron, a mug of beer in front of him, not drunk. He stared at the bartender, who was an old woman. She rubbed a dirty rag on some even dirtier mugs. She gave him a small smile. Arthur didn't bother to smile back. Too many things were on his mind at the moment.
He was thinking of Molly. Did she really mean that she was pregnant? Had she just said that to get his attention? He hoped for another boy and he knew that she probably wanted a girl. They had their boy, Bill, and this next child would determine whether they had six more girls or five more boys and a girl. He smiled. He liked the name Charlie. He was certain it would be a boy. But, if it happened to be a girl, then he supposed that he had always liked the name Virginia, Ginny for short. Although, Laura was a very beautiful name, he would never any more of his children that, not even as a middle name. It would hurt too much to look at that one child and he couldn't do that to his child. That is, unless, he named all of them Laura. Which, of course, Molly would have his head detached if he even so much as suggested something like that.
"There was a murder." grumbled the Auror sitting next to Arthur.
"Where?" another man asked.
"Somewhere in the muggle area. It was a small hut that was attacked, it didn't seem large enough to suit even one person. Records showed that three people were living there." said the Auror.
"Are they dead?"
"Don't know." the Auror mumbled. "The whole thing burned to the ground. If there was anyone in that house, their body would probably so mangled and deformed that no one could even recognize it as a human body."
In his heart, Arthur knew it was his home that was gone. He knew that it was probably his beloved Molly and Billy that lay within the ashes. He knew that every hope and dream and love he ever had was smoldering in the middle of nowhere, as if it hadn't even existed at all. But, in his heart, he just didn't want to believe it. He kept creating pity for the sorry wizards that died in that tragic accident. He kept telling himself that Molly and Bill would be loafing on the coach when he returned, asking him for food which he so willingly dished out for them.
No longer interested in the Auror's conversation, Arthur turned his attention to listening to the indistinct chatter of everyone in the Leaky Cauldron. He heard the door in the back open and close in a sense of urgency. The person that had entered was apparently in a hurry and frantic state of worry. Arthur wondered what he wanted as he sipped at his drink.
"Arthur Weasley!"
Arthur turned around and saw David Love, his landlord and protector. Arthur slid off of his stool, after leaving a few Knuts to pay for his drink. David nodded towards him. "Follow me." he said. He took Arthur out of the Leaky Cauldron and into the Children's Toy Store in Diagon Alley. Arthur thought that David was playing some sort of a joke or implying that he didn't give his children enough toys to play with. He looked at David with questioning eyes. He suddenly felt a tug at his pant leg and looked down with some surprise to see his son, Bill.
"My muggle worker was in the forest yesterday to collect some moss for me." David said. "And he said that a woman suddenly collided with him. He described her as having vibrant red hair and being petite with tattered clothes."
"So Molly was wandering around in the forest carelessly." Arthur said calmly. "What's wrong with that?"
"The gardener said that she ran off in the opposite direction." said David. "I don't know where your wife is and what condition she's in, but I suggest you take Bill and find out before it's too late."
"Right." Arthur nodded, taking Bill's hand. "Thank you."
~-~-~-
He felt the realization hit him slowly. The realization that three years of hard work and sweat and blood now lay in smoldering ashes. It was the realization that his Molly now was part of the ashes along with his son who had not yet been born. The shock crept into his mind like a horrible, venomous snake and seemed to inject its venom slowly. He felt Bill tug at his shirt, and looking up at him with the wet blue eyes of his mother.
"Daddy." Bill said. "I'm hungry. Where is mummy?"
"In the ashes, Bill."
Arthur picked up his son and just held him. He didn't know why he didn't cry. He didn't know why he only felt a feeling of great disbelief instead of sorrow that every hope and dream he had ever had now lay in the smoldering ashes. What would he do now? He'd have to put Bill in foster care or in an orphanage. He wouldn't be able to go on. He knew he missed Molly already. He knew that there was no one else in the world for him. He put his sobbing son down.
"Wait here, Bill." he said.
Arthur walked past the smoldering ashes and into the forest beyond. Maybe Molly was still alive. Maybe she was just sleeping on the forest floor, too tired and weak from malnutrition. Maybe she was just playing a very funny joke him and when he found her, she would pop out and yell "Boo!" Arthur treaded through the trees earnestly, looking for the head of red that he had run his hands through so many times.
"Molly!"
She was leaning against a tree, sobbing and shaking. Blood ran down her face and soaked her clothes. Her eyes were half open and she looked dazed. Arthur walked over to her and kneeled beside her. She didn't look over at him, but merely sat, still shivering and sobbing.
"Molly." Arthur said. "What happened?"
"You don't love me." Molly said softly in a trembling voice. "You don't love me. Go away."
"Of course I love you." Arthur said quietly.
"No." Molly sobbed, in barely a whisper. "You're a liar."
"Molly, it's okay." Arthur said. "I'll get you to St. Mungo's and then you'll be just fine."
"How do I know," Molly whispered. "that you won't toss me into the ashes to burn?"
"I would never do that." Arthur said, picking her up.
Molly leaned her bloody head against his chest as he carried her light body towards their smoldering house. Arthur was greatly disturbed as he walked with his dying wife in his arms. How could she possibly say that he, of all people, didn't love her? How could she think that he would throw her into the smoldering ashes to burn like he was a heartless Deatheater? He reached the ashes and saw Bill, sobbing hysterically, and laying on the ground.
"Bill?" Arthur said, laying down his wife on the dead grass. "What's wrong? What've you done?"
Bill didn't answer, but merely held his hands up for his father to examine. Blood ran down his hands and ashes clung to the raw wounds. Flesh was peeled of and hung in strands on his tiny hands. Arthur wanted to take hold of Bill's hands and heal them, but it only then occurred to him that he had neither the wand nor the knowledge to. Instead, he picked up his unconscious wife and told his tiny, bleeding child to follow him down the road two miles to a portkey.
~-~-~-~-
Once again, Arthur sat in a waiting room of St. Mungo's. Only this time, it was the Waiting Room for patients that needed serious attention. The Healer had informed Arthur that Dementors had visited his wife while being beaten mercilessly by Deatheaters. Arthur had only nodded when the Healer told him that there was a seventy-five percent chance that the child she was carrying would be a stillbirth. Arthur had asked about getting an abortion for her, but the Healer said that with her current condition, it would be to risky and that they would just have to wait until the child was actually born.
The Healer had put Bill and Molly in the same room. Molly had not completely healed and it was recommended that she have more time in the hospital, but the injuries caused by Voldemort would growing more and more very day and they were only permitted to stay the time that was absolutely necessary. Molly was still shaken from the Dementors, but was no longer throwing paranoid accusations at her husband. As for Bill, the Healer had failed to realize what he had done with his hands. All he knew is that Bill's hands were going to have scars for the rest of his life that would bleed when he came in contact with something that reminded him of that day. They were cursed scars that would never go away.
Arthur paid the Bill with what coins he had left. He walked over to Bill and Molly, who were sitting in the lobby. The Healer had given Bill a pair of dragon hide gloves as an act of kindness. Arthur looked down at the two, not really knowing what to say.
"What happened to your hands, Bill?" Arthur asked quietly.
"You said that mummy was in the ashes." said Bill, starting to cry. "I wanted to find mummy."
"Oh, Billy." Molly said, holding her child tight and kissing the top of his head.
"I hate you." Bill said quietly. "I hate you Daddy."
Arthur stepped back in shock.
"No, no, Billy." Molly said. "Don't say that."
"I hate you!" Bill screamed, sobbing.
Arthur said nothing, and only turned away from his child whose face was now buried into his mother's shirt. Molly walked over to her husband and put her hand on his shoulder. He put his own calloused hand on hers and they just stood there, neither knowing what to say; neither wanting to say anything.
"He doesn't mean it." Molly said.
"I'm a horrible father." Arthur said angrily, turning to her. "I'm a horrible excuse for a person! Where was I when Voldemort attacked our home? I was out getting bloody drunk! God!"
"Everyone makes mistakes." she said, looking up at him. "Arthur, no one expects you to be perfect."
"Bill does." Arthur said. "And now I've gone and let him down. It's my fault that Bill will never have normal hands."
"I want to go home." Bill sobbed. "Mummy, I want to go home."
Molly put her hand on the back of Bill's head and rocked him gently. Where would home be from now on? thought Arthur. All that was left of the home that they had once known were ashes and bad memories. They couldn't possibly go and trouble Seth, for Seth lived on the roads, always spying on Voldemort. They had no one else to trouble except Arthur's parents, which he simply would not allow himself to sink so low as to ask for assistance from his parents.
"There's a place I've heard about," Molly said. "That houses and feeds victims of Voldemort's wrath."
"I don't want pity from anyone." Arthur spat, glaring at her.
"I don't care about being pitiful." Molly said. "I just want Bill to have a warm place to sleep tonight."
Arthur was silent as he lead his family out of the hospital and into to the busy streets of Diagon Alley. He put his arm around Molly and sighed a sigh that seemed to come from the bottom of his feet and circulated from every vein his body. He looked at his tiny wife and his even smaller child, who would always have scars because of him. Bill might never forgive me, thought Arthur. He might grow up to hate me. I don't know if I could take that. I love him more then anything and want to be the best father I can be, but today, I've proven myself not worthy of his love. I only hope that one day he can find it in his heart to forgive me. There's so much I want to give him but can't. Bill will grow to be a strong boy that his brothers and sister can look up to. And one day, if he never forgives me, I know he will commit a wrong against his children and feel as rotten as I do now and will forgive me. That is all I can hope for now.
"I hoped," Molly sobbed. "that Bill would grow up in a world free of this horror. The day that no person will die at the hands of a merciless murderer seems so far away. Tomorrow seems even further away. Sometimes, I think that I'm not strong enough to reach tomorrow. But then, I think that if I was not there for Billy tomorrow, then he might not have a tomorrow either. And the child I'm carrying will grow up in a world as lost and chaotic as it is now and the children to come will know no peace. I can't bear it if that were to happen."
"Neither could I." Arthur said quietly.
"Where do we go now?" Molly asked. "Where do we go now that everything we ever had is gone? Where do we turn?"
"I think that this what vagabonds must feel like." Arthur said. "They don't know exactly where they are going, or why. They don't know where their next meal will come from or their next sign of comfort or compassion. But, they keep going. And that, My Molly, is that we must do."
"Wander around like fools?" Molly said, a hint of laughter in her voice.
"Wander around like fools until we find other fools that are willing to help fools like us." Arthur smiled.
Bill slept against his mother's chest and Molly and Arthur started the long walk to the train station. Where they would get the money for their train ticket or where their train ticket would take them, they did not know for sure. All they really knew is that was some hope in this world and it was just itching for them to find it. And they would find it because it was part of their destiny and not even God himself could change that. So, penniless and tired with only the clothes on their back, three Weasley's walked towards the sunset, feeling so much older then they really were mean to, but still somehow feeling immature and youthful.
"I never understood Janitors." said Molly thoughtfully. "You clean up the mess people make, and you make a few sickles, and that's good for you, but then what? There's no room for thought or dreaming!"
"Well, Molly dearest, I do believe that many of my dreams came true because of the mop I carried." Arthur smiled.
"You've not imagination, Arthur. None at all." Molly pouted. She was quiet for a few minutes before speaking again. "You know what I heard once?"
"What?"
"That a phoenix is reborn from the ashes. But, without dying, it cannot be reborn as something more beautiful." Molly said. "Do you think that we'll ever be able to see a phoenix?"
"Maybe." Arthur shrugged.
"Maybe." Molly repeated.
Maybe ...