In the misty morning, on the edge of time.
We've lost the rising sun, a final sign.
As the misty morning rolls to die,
reaching for the stars we blind the sky.
Oh! Hmm…
We sail across the air before we learned to fly.
We thought that it could never end.
We'd glide above the ground before we learned to run, run.
Now it seems our world has come undone.
Oh, they say that it's over,
and it just has to be.
Oh, they say that it's over,
we're lost children of the sea-
"Children of the Sea"-Black Sabbath
Relationships
After the loss of my mother I began to spend more time with my father, who had decided to re-christen me with the name, 'Alucard.' One of his nicknames spelled backwards. It was through my father that I was able to understand the vampiric abilities I was born with. They had always been there, of course, but I had never used them.
I can still remember the first time I used my abilities to morph my body into a wolf. I had just turned fourteen, and my father decided to teach me the ability to morph into such a creature. The secret, he said, was to allow your brain to think 'wolf' and that is the creature you can become. Although it sounds easy, it is actually quite difficult. To morph into a wolf the mind must be completely away from other thoughts, and be thinking solely on becoming a wolf. The technique my father used was to make a pair of fists and place them in front of his eyes, so he could see nothing else, and then he would think 'wolf, wolf' until the transformation occurs. The ability to transform does not occur right away. Like all other things in life, it takes practice.
Unfortunately, whenever I used the abilities of the vampire I would suffer one consequence. Vampires must feed on the blood of the living to survive. When I transformed my body into a wolf, mist, or whatever I developed what I call a 'blood lust.'
After the loss of my mother, my father felt no shame in feasting on the blood of the living (although he would do so regardless of whether or not he morphed), though he preferred the blood of women over men, which is due to his sexual nature; but I, however, could not do such a thing. Take for example the villagers below the Castle. Some of those young girls were girls I played with when my mother used to take me into the village when I was a boy. I simply could not drain their life, so when I happened to encounter this 'blood lust' I would often try to find a rabbit or some other kind of animal to drain. My diet consisted of foods that normal people eat. My father would have preferred that I feed as he did, but he let me eat as I chose, although I had to prepare it myself.
But despite the vampiric nature that was beginning to take its place in my body there was another desire that I felt, and that desire was to be with the opposite sex. As a teenager I considered myself to have been a fairly good-looking young man. I was fairly tall for that time with blonde hair, brown eyes, and a well-defined body; but I was also quite shy. I could talk to a woman as a friend, but nothing more, even though I wanted there to be more.
My father was aware of this, so he arranged a girl for me against her own will. In other words, he kidnapped a young woman and brought her to me. Her name was Sylvia. She was, next to my mother at the time, the most beautiful woman that I had ever laid eyes upon. She had a petite frame, pretty breasts, a wonderful backside, and an adorable face with brown eyes; but what stood out the most was her fiery red hair. But despite how beautiful she was she was absolutely terrified. Terrified not about me perhaps, but rather my father. She was only 15 and had never been away from home before—let alone kidnapped by a vampire. I was 16, and had never known a woman.
When my father had left us alone she started crying to me, and begged me to help her escape the Castle. Now I honestly could have had my way with her, and could have raped her on my bed had I chosen to do so, but the words of a powerful woman stopped me from doing so.
I first became attracted to women when I was 12. My mother was still alive, and she noticed the attraction that I began to feel towards the opposite sex. One evening she sat me down and talked to me about this issue. She told me that the best relationship to have was one that held true love, and that only then should I engage in sex. Regardless of that, Sylvia was brought to the Castle against her will.
"We have to wait until the time is right," I told her, "and then I shall do whatever I can to help you escape."
"Won't he hurt you?" she asked me.
"He may, but I'm strong and can handle whatever it is that he throws at me."
The fact that I was willing to take what would be a severe beating from my father for her freedom brought a spark of interest into her eyes, or at least I thought so at the time. Unfortunately for her, I honestly had no idea how I could help her escape the Castle. After the death of my mother, my father had conjured up monsters to defend the Castle in case a vampire slayer had decided to try and kill him. For me to simply escort her out of the Castle would have been absolutely impossible. So, with that in mind, I decided that I would do my best to try and comfort her.
To cheer her up I would find flowers from the grounds outside the Castle. Flowers no longer grew in the courtyard after the death of my mother. Sometimes they would even wilt when they came within contact of the Castle, but fortunately the tulips that I found did not.
I remember that when I came to visit her with the flowers she was very apprehensive when I first entered the room. Probably because at first she suspected that it might have been my father. But when she noticed that it was me, she smiled.
"Here," I said, presenting her the flowers. "I thought that these might cheer you up some. I picked them from the grounds outside the Castle, because they happened to make me think of you."
"How so?" she inquired.
"It's your red hair. The tulips are red, and they match your red hair. I just thought it was the natural thing to do."
She smiled at me and replied, "Thank you Alucard."
"No, please do not call me that."
"But why? Isn't that your name?"
"No, my real name's Adrian. Please refer to me as that."
She smiled, and added before sniffing the flowers, "Thank you very much, Adrian."
Eventually we became more open with one another. I gave her the name 'Flame' based on her red hair, which she seemed to admire. My father promised that she would be protected on his grounds from all the monsters in the Castle, so occasionally we would venture into the Castle courtyard together. I would show her where I used to play as a child, and we would climb a tree and relax against the same branch that Mother and me did when I was a little boy. One night we were reclining against this same branch, while talking in whisper, lest some of my father's minions overhear our conversation. But it was on this night when she asked me a question that left me stunned and almost speechless.
"Adrian, do you remember the first day that I was brought to the Castle and I asked you to help me escape?"
"Yes, I do, and let me apologize for being unable to fulfill the promise that I made to you that day."
"Think nothing of that for now, but I do have something that I want to ask you regarding that moment that you can finally help me escape."
"Yes?"
"Adrian, whenever you can help me leave this place, will you stay with me?"
I honestly had no idea how to respond to such a question, as it was not one I was expecting. The Castle had been my home, so I felt some attachment to it, but it was not a home that I cared much for anymore. It was not the home I enjoyed living in as a boy. My mother was gone, and my father had morphed into a monster under the influence of the Devil.
Flame's brown eyes became locked with my brown eyes. She smiled at me, and I smiled back while stroking her red hair. Finally, I said, "Yes."
She hugged me, and I held her close. Then she looked into my eyes again, and with a smile presented me with a kiss. This was the first kiss I had ever received in my life. I did not exactly know what to think except that it was a good feeling. Flame and I shared a kiss everyday since that night in the tree, but if I was to know the dangers of what one kiss could do I would have never kissed her again.
One evening Flame and I were embracing each other and kissing, but our kisses began to turn into a more lustful desire. She began to undress and slowly remove her corset. For a moment I thought again about what my mother said regarding sex, but I rationalized that I really loved Flame, and to be honest, I believed that I did. I joined her in stripping myself of my clothes before placing her on my bed.
Flame, however, had never known man before, but then again, I had never known woman before. My male instincts told me what to do, but after I penetrated her enough blood began to show from her once virgin vagina. I saw the blood and something came over me. I do not quite understand how it happened, but I felt the curse of 'blood lust.'
The sight of Flame's blood somehow brought a lust for blood into my mind. I exposed my fangs and began to feast on her blood. She prayed for me to stop, but I could not. The 'blood lust' had taken over me. There was nothing I could do. Although this event in my life happened centuries ago it is still very difficult for me to write about.
…I killed her. Just as plain and as simple as that. The vampiric blood that ran through my veins took control and I could not stop it. I broke down and cried. I probably cried as hard as the day I heard my mother died. I wrapped my bed sheet over Flame's body, and gently placed her head against my pillow. I did not want to leave her side.
When my father finally arrived he examined the scene. Finally, he called in one of his henchmen and told him to "remove the body."
"No!" I screamed, as I tried to throw myself over Flame's body before Father shot me down with a powerful right cross.
I covered my cheek with my hand, while my father leaned over me. "These things just happen Alucard. You just need to get over it and move on. Don't worry, I'll find you another woman."
"Damn it I don't want another woman! I just want Flame!"
"Well, it's a little too late for that since you killed her. But don't despair my son. I'll find you another woman."
"Aren't you listening to me?! I don't want another woman! I want Flame!"
"And I thought I told you a few minutes ago that she's dead! Damn it, Alucard, women are a dime a dozen!"
"How can you say that?! Is that what you thought Mother was too?! Just a 'dime a dozen'!"
His dark eyes glared at me after that comment, and he cross his arms over his chest, attempting to display his power over me, but he was silent.
"And I don't want you to bring me another woman. That's kidnapping and I know Mother wouldn't approve of it!" Again he said nothing. He simply continued to glare at me. "Furthermore, Father, I want nothing more to do with you! I've had enough of your lifestyle, and it's through you that I'm partially cursed with it."
"What're you going to do Alucard?" chuckled my father. "Are you going to run to God for help?"
"I'm not concerned with anything having to do with God, Father. You have your own problems with God, so you can deal with them! I'm going to lock myself away where I can never harm anybody else."
"And how do you plan on doing that Alucard?"
"I'll make myself fall asleep forever that's how."
My father's glare increased with that comment. "That I shall not allow Alucard."
"I don't care, you can't stop me!"
"You wish to challenge me on that subject?"
I did not respond to my father's question. Instead, I morphed into a wolf, and leapt from my bedroom window to the grounds below. My father followed me, but fortunately, I was able to escape him. I honestly have no idea how I was able to get away from him, but I remember that when I came to a secure location I heard my father yell that he would posses me again somehow. I did not understand what he meant, and frankly, I did not have time to ponder on his words.
The secure location I entered was the remains of a small crypt. The casket I stumbled upon had some remains in it, but I defied this man or woman's grave and used his or her casket as my own. Looking back on it, maybe it was something that I should not have done, but that person was already dead and I was still alive.
As I reclined in the coffin I closed my eyes and thought only of sleep—an ever deep sleep. My eyes closed to the world, and would not open again until one year later when he arrived to disturb my sleep.