NATO Monitoring facilely GUAM
The monitoring facilely was the white high tech looking building with huge satellites on it. It is where the unfit soldiers and the should-be-retired army generals were sent. This was because all you needed to work there was a reasonably tough butt to get though the whole day of sitting on the uncomfortable military chairs. It was a terribly dull job though.
Billy Slunchy, an ex-solider, was the bored looking worker in the light blue uniform. He has been sitting in front of a wall of screens for five hours now and he was starting to feel tired. Each screen was displaying a different place where riots look like they might start out, so far no luck.
'Keep a close eye on that Kreplachistian situation, Billy,' ordered his old ex-military boss, nodding at the eighth screen on the wall. It showed two old ladies shopping in a supermarket. 'And make sure your pimples don't get in the way of your vision!'
'Yes, Sir!' said Billy dutifully as his boss walked away laughing at his own joke.
Billy having made sure his boss was gone, muttered 'Jerk,' and switched the T.V over to...
'Jerry! Jerry!' screamed the audience.
Billy grinned to himself, this was much less boring than watching potential riots.
'Heeheheehee!' was cackled in the annoying screechy voice we all learned to associate with Sponge-Bob. 'You see, Sponge-Son! That is why I have to take over the world!' said the helium filled voice.
It was Sponge-Bob-Square-Pants on the Jerry Spinger Show. Sponge-Bob was sat on the stage with a cardboard box labled 'SUN' next to him.
'Okkkkkk ...' said Jerry Springer slightly confused. 'We'll be with you again after these messages.'
Billy looked behind himself nervously. No sign of the boss that was always good sign. He looked back at the screen when he heard clapping.
'Thank you!' said Jerry Springer into his microphone. 'If you've just joined us, today's topic is 'My Evil Father and Wants to Take Over the World'.'
The audience booed since world domination by some evil nut was not high in their priorities.
'OK, let's meet Jr. Zim!' said Jerry making a sort of hand motion to someone off stage.
The audience clapped as a very, very pale green male Irken with bright red eyes walked on to the stage timidly. The Irken was wearing all black clothes with a little Irken skull necklace. It looked like he had been given style tips from Gaz. Without this in mind, he still didn't look quite right by Irken standards. It may have been because his face was too round, his antennae were pointed backwards, his red Irken eyes had little square pupils or that he was wearing glasses. Whatever it was, he was a strange Irken. The crowds cheered as he took his seat next to Sponge-Bob.
'Hi, Jr. Zim. Nice to have you with us. Tell us about your father.' Jerry read off from a card in his hand.
'Well, Dad is the founder of Zim Inc, his own world-wide organisation of evil. He tried to make an army of Evil Bologna People,' mumbled the Irken meekly, adjusting his glasses. 'I think he owns MacMeaties too...'
The other guests (this included Timmy Turner and his father - Fairly Odd Parents) on the show looked at each other quizzically. This wuss surely wasn't Zim's son, the Irken-with-an-ego-ten-feet-taller-than-him.
'Pretty serious stuff. Where is he now?'
'He's been sentecned to 100 years of orbiting the earth ... so I suppose he's in outer space.'
'That's what you think, but we have a surprise for you. OK, let's bring out Jr. Zim's father Dr. Zim!'
Zim burst through the double doors out on to the stage wearing his usual getup, black gloves, pink and red shirt and black trousers.
'BOOOOOOOOOO!' the entire audience cried.
'Silence, Stink-Beasts!' ordered Zim pointing at the audience.
Billy Slunchy squinted at the screen. He recognised that Zim character...
'General Sim, we've got a situation over here,' said Billy, when he realised his boss was watching him.
'What is it, Slunchy?' asked his boss, looking over the Billy's shoulder.
Billy nodded toward the monitor that had Zim talking to his son on it.
'So ... Jr. Zim,' said Zim, sitting next to his son.
'How could you do this to me on national television?' asked Jr. Zim head in his hands.
'Well! It's good to see you grew up to be the ungrateful little smeet you always were!' The audience gasped at the comment.
Jr. Zim looked up and glared at his father. 'Why should I be grateful? You ran out on me!'
'Yes, yes I had reasons for that,' Zim said dismisavly.
'What reasons?' asked his son, annoyed.
'You want the truth?! You can't handle the ugly truth!'
'Your such a Drama-Queen Father!'
'Fine! I will tell you! Invader's blood marches through my veins, like giant radioactive rubberpants! But it does not march through yours!' declared Zim, to the cameras. The audience awed. 'Well it's true!' Zim turned to his son. 'Maybe it is your pathetic, non-Irken upbringing but you're not even evil enough! You're semi-evil!' Zim grabbed his son by his shirt and stared him dead in the eye. 'You're the margarine of evil! You're the diet coke of evil, just one calorie not evil enough!' Zim finished his speech by letting go of Jr. Zim, leaping to his feet and pointing to the heavens.
'WHAT ARE YOU SOME KINDA FREAK?!' screeched Sponge-Bob, standing up and pointing at Jr. Zim. Jr. Zim shrank away from Sponge-Bob obviously freaked out. 'I'll kick you're bleep bleep!' screamed Sponge Bob doing a little threatening dance. He then turned to the cameras. 'First Nickelodeon! THEN THE WORLD HEHEHEHE!' Sponge-Bob, randomly, then played his nose like a flute.
Zim held his gloved hand up palm facing Sponge-Bob. 'Insolent Sponge-Beast! No one speaks to my son like that. Its all right, Juniour, just ignore the STUPID SPONGEEEEEEEEEE!' shouted Zim, tackling Sponge-Bob.
There was a lot of censored swearing as security guards, in black shirts with 'Jerry Springer' printed on them, tried to pull Zim off Sponge-Bob. When they finally managed to restrain Zim, Sponge-Bob had two chunks of his head missing. He now looked a bit like a hexagon.
Zim spat out yellow foam from between his zipper teeth. 'Ok. Ok. I'm all right,' said Zim reassuringly. When the security guard loosened his grip Zim ran back to Sponge Bob his fists flying. 'Bleep you, you bleep bleep! FIRST YOU TAKE MY DAMN TIME SLOT, YOU STINK SPONGE! THEN YOU INSULT MY SONNNNNNN! Curse you, Sponge-Bob! Curse yooooooou!' Jerry Springer himself even tried to stop the fight, but got punched in the eye by Zim.
'I HATE YOU ALL!!!' screamed Jr. Zim, throwing a statue of Scary Monkey at the camera.
Back at the NATO Monitoring facilely GUAM static was being displayed by the T.V. screen. Worker and boss exchanged strange looks.
'Better check into that,' said the General putting his hand on the Billy's shoulder, before walking off.
The monitoring facilely was the white high tech looking building with huge satellites on it. It is where the unfit soldiers and the should-be-retired army generals were sent. This was because all you needed to work there was a reasonably tough butt to get though the whole day of sitting on the uncomfortable military chairs. It was a terribly dull job though.
Billy Slunchy, an ex-solider, was the bored looking worker in the light blue uniform. He has been sitting in front of a wall of screens for five hours now and he was starting to feel tired. Each screen was displaying a different place where riots look like they might start out, so far no luck.
'Keep a close eye on that Kreplachistian situation, Billy,' ordered his old ex-military boss, nodding at the eighth screen on the wall. It showed two old ladies shopping in a supermarket. 'And make sure your pimples don't get in the way of your vision!'
'Yes, Sir!' said Billy dutifully as his boss walked away laughing at his own joke.
Billy having made sure his boss was gone, muttered 'Jerk,' and switched the T.V over to...
'Jerry! Jerry!' screamed the audience.
Billy grinned to himself, this was much less boring than watching potential riots.
'Heeheheehee!' was cackled in the annoying screechy voice we all learned to associate with Sponge-Bob. 'You see, Sponge-Son! That is why I have to take over the world!' said the helium filled voice.
It was Sponge-Bob-Square-Pants on the Jerry Spinger Show. Sponge-Bob was sat on the stage with a cardboard box labled 'SUN' next to him.
'Okkkkkk ...' said Jerry Springer slightly confused. 'We'll be with you again after these messages.'
Billy looked behind himself nervously. No sign of the boss that was always good sign. He looked back at the screen when he heard clapping.
'Thank you!' said Jerry Springer into his microphone. 'If you've just joined us, today's topic is 'My Evil Father and Wants to Take Over the World'.'
The audience booed since world domination by some evil nut was not high in their priorities.
'OK, let's meet Jr. Zim!' said Jerry making a sort of hand motion to someone off stage.
The audience clapped as a very, very pale green male Irken with bright red eyes walked on to the stage timidly. The Irken was wearing all black clothes with a little Irken skull necklace. It looked like he had been given style tips from Gaz. Without this in mind, he still didn't look quite right by Irken standards. It may have been because his face was too round, his antennae were pointed backwards, his red Irken eyes had little square pupils or that he was wearing glasses. Whatever it was, he was a strange Irken. The crowds cheered as he took his seat next to Sponge-Bob.
'Hi, Jr. Zim. Nice to have you with us. Tell us about your father.' Jerry read off from a card in his hand.
'Well, Dad is the founder of Zim Inc, his own world-wide organisation of evil. He tried to make an army of Evil Bologna People,' mumbled the Irken meekly, adjusting his glasses. 'I think he owns MacMeaties too...'
The other guests (this included Timmy Turner and his father - Fairly Odd Parents) on the show looked at each other quizzically. This wuss surely wasn't Zim's son, the Irken-with-an-ego-ten-feet-taller-than-him.
'Pretty serious stuff. Where is he now?'
'He's been sentecned to 100 years of orbiting the earth ... so I suppose he's in outer space.'
'That's what you think, but we have a surprise for you. OK, let's bring out Jr. Zim's father Dr. Zim!'
Zim burst through the double doors out on to the stage wearing his usual getup, black gloves, pink and red shirt and black trousers.
'BOOOOOOOOOO!' the entire audience cried.
'Silence, Stink-Beasts!' ordered Zim pointing at the audience.
Billy Slunchy squinted at the screen. He recognised that Zim character...
'General Sim, we've got a situation over here,' said Billy, when he realised his boss was watching him.
'What is it, Slunchy?' asked his boss, looking over the Billy's shoulder.
Billy nodded toward the monitor that had Zim talking to his son on it.
'So ... Jr. Zim,' said Zim, sitting next to his son.
'How could you do this to me on national television?' asked Jr. Zim head in his hands.
'Well! It's good to see you grew up to be the ungrateful little smeet you always were!' The audience gasped at the comment.
Jr. Zim looked up and glared at his father. 'Why should I be grateful? You ran out on me!'
'Yes, yes I had reasons for that,' Zim said dismisavly.
'What reasons?' asked his son, annoyed.
'You want the truth?! You can't handle the ugly truth!'
'Your such a Drama-Queen Father!'
'Fine! I will tell you! Invader's blood marches through my veins, like giant radioactive rubberpants! But it does not march through yours!' declared Zim, to the cameras. The audience awed. 'Well it's true!' Zim turned to his son. 'Maybe it is your pathetic, non-Irken upbringing but you're not even evil enough! You're semi-evil!' Zim grabbed his son by his shirt and stared him dead in the eye. 'You're the margarine of evil! You're the diet coke of evil, just one calorie not evil enough!' Zim finished his speech by letting go of Jr. Zim, leaping to his feet and pointing to the heavens.
'WHAT ARE YOU SOME KINDA FREAK?!' screeched Sponge-Bob, standing up and pointing at Jr. Zim. Jr. Zim shrank away from Sponge-Bob obviously freaked out. 'I'll kick you're bleep bleep!' screamed Sponge Bob doing a little threatening dance. He then turned to the cameras. 'First Nickelodeon! THEN THE WORLD HEHEHEHE!' Sponge-Bob, randomly, then played his nose like a flute.
Zim held his gloved hand up palm facing Sponge-Bob. 'Insolent Sponge-Beast! No one speaks to my son like that. Its all right, Juniour, just ignore the STUPID SPONGEEEEEEEEEE!' shouted Zim, tackling Sponge-Bob.
There was a lot of censored swearing as security guards, in black shirts with 'Jerry Springer' printed on them, tried to pull Zim off Sponge-Bob. When they finally managed to restrain Zim, Sponge-Bob had two chunks of his head missing. He now looked a bit like a hexagon.
Zim spat out yellow foam from between his zipper teeth. 'Ok. Ok. I'm all right,' said Zim reassuringly. When the security guard loosened his grip Zim ran back to Sponge Bob his fists flying. 'Bleep you, you bleep bleep! FIRST YOU TAKE MY DAMN TIME SLOT, YOU STINK SPONGE! THEN YOU INSULT MY SONNNNNNN! Curse you, Sponge-Bob! Curse yooooooou!' Jerry Springer himself even tried to stop the fight, but got punched in the eye by Zim.
'I HATE YOU ALL!!!' screamed Jr. Zim, throwing a statue of Scary Monkey at the camera.
Back at the NATO Monitoring facilely GUAM static was being displayed by the T.V. screen. Worker and boss exchanged strange looks.
'Better check into that,' said the General putting his hand on the Billy's shoulder, before walking off.