Snape sat at the table, thinking with a quill in his hand, a piece of parchment lying on the table in front of him. Malfoy was pacing the room.
"Right. Now the sort of person we're looking for is an aggressive drunken lout with the intelligence of a four-year-old and the sexual sophistication of a donkey," Malfoy said.
"Crabbe Senior," Snape said as he wrote down the name on the parchment.
At that moment, Wormtail entered. This time he had a mouse tied to his nose.
"Wormtail," Malfoy sighed.
"Master," Wormtail replied dull.
"Why?" Malfoy said looking hard at him as he arched an eyebrow.
"I got fed up with an all-mouse diet, Master. I thought I'd try a cat for variety," Wormtail explained.
"Good, well done. And now, returning to the real world, do you have a knife?" Malfoy asked.
"Yeah," Wormtail replied.
"Good because I wish to quickly send off some party invitations and to make them look particularly tough, I wish to write them in blood… Your blood, to be precise," Malfoy said.
Wormtail took a knife from his boot.
"How much blood will you actually be requiring, Master?" Wormtail asked, his voice quivering lightly.
"Oh, nothing much, just a small puddle," Malfoy said with a dismissive wave of his hand.
"Will you be wanting me to cut anything off; an arm, or a leg, for instance?" Wormtail asked running his thumb over the blade.
"Oh good Merlin no, a little prick should do," Malfoy said as he returned his attention to the guest-list.
"Very well, Master. I am your servant and must obey," Wormtail said.
He scrunched his eyes and shoved the knife in his breeches. Malfoy turned around and saw Wormtail just about to perform the cruellest cut of all.
"Oh for Merlin's sake, Wormtail! I meant a little prick on the finger," Malfoy yelled.
"I haven't got one there!" Wormtail said studying his own hand.
"Oh, forget it, forget it," Malfoy sighed.
"Thank you, Master," Wormtail said on the verge of tears.
He left the room, relieved and still in one piece.
"Right. Now, Sev, how's the list going?" Malfoy asked.
"Very well indeed. I thought we could invite Professor McGonagall," Snape said.
"Sorry, no chicks. Who else?" Malfoy asked.
"That's about as far as I'd got, actually," Snape said.
"Right, I'll dictate. First Avery, second, Nott and third, Rookwood," Malfoy said.
"Oh, and of course, Lord and Lady Beaufoy, who will be coming anyway," Snape informed Malfoy.
A shock of horror spread across Malfoy's face when he realized the dreadful contradiction the evening ahead held.
"Oh yes…"