Malfoy entered the corridor. He went to a cupboard and took out a silly hat and a pair of false breasts, which he slipped on. Then, he opened the door to three drunken idiots also wearing silly hats and false breasts.
The three started singing loudly. "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday luscious Lucius!, Happy Birthday to you!"
Malfoy tried to quieten them down but failed. He ushered them into Wormtail's room.
"Well, get stuck in, boys…" Malfoy said.
" 'Stuck in' – wahey! – geddit? It sounds a bit rude, doesn't it? 'Stuck in'," Avery said.
There was another knock at the door. Malfoy rushed out to open it.
"Ha! Fudge. Late, I see, to avoid the early drinking. Oh Fudgie, you really are a beginner – you're not even wearing comedy breasts," Malfoy smirked.
"Au contraire, Malfoy," Fudge replied as he opened his coat, revealing a much bigger pair, painted gold.
"Yes, well, let's wait till we get down to the serious drinking, shall we?" Malfoy sneered.
He opened the door to Wormtail's room. All three were teasing a frightened house-elf with a sock on a stick.
"Good evening," Fudge said.
"Lads, this is Fudge," Malfoy said. "You may find the conversation a bit above your head at first, Fudgy, but you'll soon get used to it."
Malfoy had just left Wormtail's room when there was an unexpected knock on the front door. He opened it impatiently, and there stood a cowled person.
"I heard there was a party on," the person said.
"No. Yes. There are two and you're invited to neither," Malfoy smirked.
"But I'm a friend of Professor Snape," the person spoke.
"Oh, you must be McGonagall. You were invited anyway. Come in, do. It's in here," Malfoy said.
He opened the door of the cupboard. The person walked in obediently and Malfoy slammed the door shut, sealing it with a spell. He rejoined the party in the dining-room, still wearing the breasts.
"Sorry about that," Malfoy said as he sat down.
Everyone in the room froze as they noticed the breasts. Snape coughed three times in a very unusual way.
"Sorry – he's sick. Took a few nasty spells in the brain," Malfoy said as he cast an angry look at Snape.
"What he is trying to tell you is that you appear to be wearing a pair of devil's dumplings," Lady Beaufoy hissed.
Malfoy looked down and flinched in shock at the sight of his own breasts. He covered them up with his hands and thought of plausible answer.
"Oh my – my ear muffs have fallen down," Malfoy said as he pulled them up, covering his ears. "Would you like a pair? It's getting rather cold."
"No thank you – cold is good to keep your soul black," Lady Beaufoy said.
Wormtail entered the room, carrying a tray with the thingy shaped turnip on it.
"Well, now, what was I saying… Oh, by Merlin," Malfoy breathed when he saw the dish.
"Your turnip, my lady," Wormtail said.
Snape and Malfoy had a horrified look upon their faces. Lady Beaufoy inspected it and took the plate from the tray. Wormtail bowed and left the room.
"Very good. Very good," Lady Beaufoy said as she started to nibble at the tip.
Suddenly the Mansion was filled with loud, drunken roar.
"What was that noise?" Lady Beaufoy asked.
"Noise? Did you hear a noise, Severus?" Malfoy asked.
"No," Snape replied.
"Good," Malfoy said relieved.
"Apart from that colossal drunken roar," Snape continued before he suddenly disappeared under the table. Malfoy had obviously kicked him.
"Oh, that noise. It's the mudbloods next door. I'm afraid. I'll just go and curse them. Back in a minute Sev," Malfoy said before he rushed out of the room.