Chapter 8 – drink
"Malfoy, you challenged me to a drinking competition earlier today, and I haven't seen you touch a drop," Fudge said as soon as he saw Malfoy's face.
"Nonsense," Malfoy said.
"'Tis true. You twist and turn like a … twisty-turny thing," Fudge said.
"All right, all right. Wormtail! Fetch my incredibly strong ale!" Malfoy roared.
Merely a few seconds later, Wormtail arrived with a jug of water and a glass.
"It's Lucius' Levitating Liquor, a brew guaranteed to knock the backside off a concrete elephant, is it not, Wormtail?" Malfoy said.
"No, it's water," Wormtail said proudly.
"What?!" Fudge roared.
"Ha ha ha; but seriously Wormtail - and presuming you wish to see another dawn…," Malfoy hissed.
"You did call for your incredibly strong ale, Master?" Wormtail asked doubtfully.
"Yes! That's right!" Malfoy said pleased.
"That's a relief. I thought I'd made a mistake," Wormtail beamed as he poured water into the glass.
"By Merlin, he's right! It is water!" Nott roared.
"Come on lads, let's give him a real drink," Rookwood said as he handed Malfoy a flagon of ale.
"Fine," Malfoy said all eyes turned on him.
"Drink, Malfoy. Drink!" Fudge said.
Malfoy placed the flagon at his mouth and drained it's content. Exactly 42 seconds later, Lady Beaufoy was in the midst of smacking Snape out of boredom when the door suddenly swung open and Malfoy stumbled in. He's wearing a wool hat and looked really merry.
"Sevy, I lost the bet," Malfoy said.
"Lucius, explain yourself!" Lady Beaufoy roared.
"I can't. Not just like that. I'm a complicated person, you see, Auntie. Sometimes I'm nice, sometimes I'm nasty. And sometimes, I just like to sing little songs," Malfoy said staggering unevenly on his feet as he started to sing; "See the little goblin…"
Malfoy dropped onto his knees, revealing a large ostrich feather sticking up from his breeches.
"I mean, explain why you are wearing a wool hat, why you are grinning inanely and why you have an ostrich feather sticking out of the seat of your breeches," Lady Beaufoy roared.
"I'm wearing a wool hat because I'm a house-elf. I have an ostrich feather up my bottom to keep in the little pixies. And I'm grinning inanely because I think I've just about succeeded in conning you and your daft husband out of a whopping great inheritance," Malfoy said.
"Is that right? May I remind you cursed creature that your inheritance depends upon your not drinking and not gambling," Lady Beaufoy explained. She hit Snape as Malfoy was out of reach.
"Oh, yes, damn. Sev, the Mudbloods farts in my face one more," Malfoy sighed.
"Not mentioning 'farts' was also a condition," Lady Beaufoy said.
"Shove off, you old trout," Malfoy sneered.
Lord and Lady Beaufoy stood up and left the room, slamming the door.