AN; Thank you for all your reviews. Just wanted to say, don't worry, don't panic, just hang in there for the next couple of chapters. You will know what I mean as you read.
Drawn Uncontrollably To You
Chapter 9
It was only when she realised that her period was late, that she remembered that she had forgotten to take the morning after pill.
'Dammit' she muttered coming out of the stall and heading for the sink
'Something wrong?' asked Sam who was there
'No' said Abby trying to brush it off 'I just forgot to do something' knowing that she'd really got herself into a mess this time, she was never late.
She had been staring at the test for the past thirty minutes. It wasn't going to change the outcome. She had known the answer anyway; this had just proved it to her. What the hell was she going to do? If she spoke to someone it would be Susan or Carter. Susan although interested was understandably wrapped in in Megan. Carter? How could she talk about this with him? And they had been getting on so much better lately and now she was going to spoil it. She felt scared, alone and confused, more so than last time in fact.
A few weeks later
'Abby' said Kerry 'You wanted a word, make it quick though I'm off to a meeting'
'It's about the ride-along with the paramedics'
'What about it?'
'I wondered if I could reschedule it?'
'Why?' Kerry looked at her scathingly
'I'm pregnant'
'Oh, really?'
'Only just. I haven't figured out what to do'
'Well while you're figuring it out you can be with the paramedics'
'But Dr Weaver..' Abby protested
'Abby, what do you think is going to happen? I'm not sending you out with the bomb squad. It's the paramedics'
'I know that but...'
'But nothing. I have to go to the meeting'
Abby sighed as she vacated Kerry's office and stood resting her frame against the wall.
'Haven't you got a shift downstairs?' commented Kerry as she hobbled past.
Abby just glared at her.
'Hey Abby, fancy pulling a nurse shift next week?' asked Susan
'No' answered Abby
'They're desperate' added Frank
'Why?'
'Some kind of dispute over pay. Weaver's asked me to make sure we have some nurses on at least' Susan explained waving a sheet of paper in front of Abby.
Abby took the paper from Susan and skimmed over it's contents 'I'm out on a ride-along that day. Weaver won't reschedule I tried, not for this, other reason' she told Susan 'And I'm not a nurse anymore'
'Oh well that'll be fun out with the paramedics' Susan told her as Abby pulled a face.
'What about agency nurses?' suggested Abby
'You know what they're like' Susan said
'Looks like they're your only option' Abby replied
'Thanks' said Susan with a grin 'You're very helpful'
Abby smiled back 'Always am right?'
Abby stood on the roof looking out into the clear cold night sky. Willing her shift to be over. She snuggled down into her coat, trying to gain heat from somewhere within it's depths and drank the steaming coffee, with which her hands were warmed by.
Still in a quandary on what to do now her life had taken an unexpected and unforeseen turn. She was torn between becoming a single mother and having an abortion. And what if she became a mother, should she tell Ben? She knew he didn't want any more kids, but could she keep something like that from him, even if they had split up?
And then there was Carter, he'd had enough to deal with the past year or so, how would he respond to all this? Would any chances she had of reconciliation with him be ruined now?
The unpredicted kiss at Christmas had surprised her; not that he had kissed her back or anything. But it had been an odd experience, kind of old and new at the same time, which didn't make sense at all.
She knew if she told Maggie she would encourage Abby to keep the baby, take a chance on life. But was she ready to have a child alone? Even though she had changed become more open she felt unable to discuss this with anyone. Especially as Dr Weaver had been so unsympathetic, which had surprised Abby, knowing Weaver's history. Not that Abby cared about Dr Weaver's opinion; she did however care about Carter's.
Despite feeling sort of queasy at the beginning of the day with the paramedics, it seemed to be going better than she had visualised and was certainly easier that a day at in the ER. They had been to County a few times the staff being somewhat preoccupied due to the lack of nurses.
'How's it going?' asked Carter on one trip she made into the ER
'Good so far, what's it like here?' she replied
'Not good. We have about half the quota of nurses and Weaver's who's in a bad mood has graced us with her presence'
'Lucky you'
'Thank you' he answered wryly
'Abby' called Harms 'We've got to go'
'Catch you later' said Abby walking off
'I'm off in two hours' he added but she had already gone.
Several hours later and Abby was looking forward to going home when they took one last call.
'This should be interesting for you' commented Harms 'Gang incident, GSW'
They arrived at the scene, it was relatively quiet and the police indicated for them to go ahead and see the patient when all hell broke loose. No one really knew what happened, it was all so fast. It became an unexpected melee of police, paramedics, and the gangs involved, not to mention one or two passers by. There was a lot of shouting and noise and several shots rang out. Abby was innocently trying to stay on the sidelines one moment and then the next she was lying in a growing pool of blood trying to stay conscious.
Everything was in a haze as though it was happening to someone else, not her. She was fighting to remain focused on reality. Abby was aware of lights, noises, the siren wailing. Harms seemed to be going in and out of Abby's vision. Reminding Abby a bit of being completely and utterly drunk, except when you were drunk the pain was in your head not your body.
She forced herself to concentrate and stay conscious, but she felt weaker by the second, like life was draining out of her. She must have reached out her hand as Harms laid it back on the gurney.
'It's okay,' she told Abby 'We'll be at County in two minutes'
Even in the state she was in Abby could see the worried expression on the paramedic's face.
'Abby! Abby! Can you hear me?' Dr Weaver spoke loudly and clearly to Abby, penetrating through the blackness.
Abby slowly opened her eyes her eyelids heavy. Everything was blurry; she was able to make out Kerry, Fleur and a couple of nurses she didn't recognise too.
'Abby' said Fleur
Abby tried to focus on Fleur and Kerry but she was finding it almost impossible. She tried to tell then not to call Maggie and to remind Kerry that she was pregnant, but she was not sure if the words were coming out of her mouth or not.
Kerry and Fleur were issuing commands rapidly and that was the last thing that Abby was aware of before the blackness engulfed her once more.
Fleur and one of the agency nurses hurried towards the elevator and then on to the OR. Kerry hurried out of the trauma room, making sure that there was no evidence or trace that Abby Lockhart had been treated here at the ER that evening. The only people who knew she had been through the doors were herself, Fleur, the agency nurses and Harms and Morales and she had already had words with them. Thoughts of her conversation with Abby from the previous week were haunting her mind. Kerry just hoped that everything was going to be okay for her sake as much as Abby's, thankful that it was evening and the amount of staff were fewer than during the day.