AN: It's always great to read your comments, thanks. Hope you like new chapter.

Drawn Uncontrollably To You

Chapter 11

Fleur was standing at the desk writing some notes when Harms and Morales approached her.

'Dr Buchannan?' said Harms

Fleur looked up and replied 'How can I help you?'

'You remember, a couple of days ago we brought a patient in?'

'You bring lots of patients in, care to be more specific?' she prompted as Carter came up and used the computer to her right.

Harms and Morales looked at Carter who was absorbed in what he was doing then back to Fleur.

'The GSW, shoulder and pelvis' Morales said trying to keep details to a minimum after the lecture from Weaver.

Fleur knew nothing about this since Kerry felt Fleur hardly spoke to anyone anyway.

'You mean Dr Lockhart' Fleur informed them not realising the can of worms she had just opened.

Harms and Morales looked at each other while Carter, who's ears caught 'Dr Lockhart', stared opened mouthed at Fleur.

As Harms and Morales nodded Fleur told them. 'She's going to be okay, slight complication yesterday, but she'll be fine eventually. I'm surprised no one down here's been up to visit her. She always seems popular'

'Thank you' mumbled Morales looking at Carter and deciding that they would take the opportunity to leave.

Carter swallowed hard and said 'Dr Buchannan?'

'Dr Carter' she replied acknowledging him.

'Where, where is Abby?' he asked

'Room six one nine'

'Do you need to rush off?' he asked

'No not at this exact moment, why?'

'Will you cover for me for ten minutes?'

Fleur studied him; he looked kind of odd. 'Sure, ten minutes only though I have my own job to do too'

'Thank you' he managed before taking off for the elevators.

There was a queue when he got there so he took the stairs instead.

o0o

Room six one nine, the door was closed and he stood outside for a couple of moments trying to get his breath back and prepare himself to see Abby.

He opened the door slowly, she had her eyes closed, so he assumed she was sleeping and he took in the scene before him. She looked so pale and fragile, he noticed the IV's dripping into her body and he wanted to turn and run. Go hide someplace so that he could pretend that this wasn't happening.

He walked over to the bed and picked up her chart, scanning the contents he found there. His eyes coming to rest on the complication from yesterday where she lost the baby and his heart broke for her.

'Interesting reading?' her voice was soft but broke through the silence and he dropped her chart which clattered loudly to the floor.

As he picked it up he looked at her, her facial expressions were of mixed emotions and he didn't think he could decipher them all at once.

'Oh Abby' he managed 'I'm so sorry'

She sniffed once and pouted then said 'Things happen for a reason right'

He looked back at her biting his bottom lip.

'I just haven't figured out what the reason is' she added

He knew it seemed stupid but he felt like crying. Suddenly the door opened and a guy came in with a tray of lunch, which he put down on the over the bed table.

'Take it away' Abby told him

'But you've got to eat' the man replied

'I can't, not that' she said, the man shrugged and left without the food.

'What is it?' Carter asked recovering from his momentarily relapse of self control and taking a look 'Soup' he said encouragingly to Abby

She turned her nose up and said 'If it's like the stuff I tried yesterday it'll be foul'

'You know you're not going to get rid of the D5W if you don't eat' he told her, trying cajoling her to eat.

She looked at him and replied 'Have you tasted it?'

'Okay' he said and took the spoon and tried it, inwardly deciding that it was rather disgusting but he didn't let on. 'It's not that bad, especially if you eat it with the bread'

Still she looked at him.

'Go on, for me' he added.

Put that way she knew she couldn't refuse to try and managed a few mouthfuls before giving up.

'Okay for that I'll bring something tasty by later' he said with a smile, hoping to cheer her up. 'Why did Weaver tell everyone you were under the weather?' he added changing the subject.

'That's what she told you?' Abby said

'Yeah, she said you'd be back in a few days'

'I think she feels bad. I told her I wanted to reschedule the ride-along, she said no'

'Oh'

'And she treated me the night I was in trauma along with Dr Buchannan'

'I'm surprised Chuny or Malik didn't say something?'

'I guess they didn't know it was the day of the nurse's dispute'

'Still Weaver could have said something. You okay?' he said seeing her start to flag. 'Want me to get you some more pain medication?'

She shook her head 'Some sleep would be good'

'I'd better go anyway, my ten minutes are long up. I think Dr Buchannan meant it when she said she'd only cover for me for ten'

'She covered for you?'

'Yeah, surprised me too, normally she's so offhand'

o0o

Carter made his way back down to the ER. So many thoughts running through his mind.

'That was fifteen minutes and forty-two seconds' Fleur told him as he reached the desk

'Sorry' he answered looking sheepish, he never knew quite what to make of Fleur.

'Let you off this once' she told him and she walked off in the direction he had come from.

Suddenly he noticed Kerry standing by him.

'Dr Weaver' he said to her

'John I need to be upstairs' she replied

'Why didn't you tell us the truth? Didn't you think we'd figure it out eventually?'

'Carter I don't know what you're talking about'

'I think you do' he replied 'Room six one nine' he added

Recognition flooded Kerry's face 'How did you find out about that?'

'Does it matter? You know I think she'll do a lot better if she has her friends visit. She lying there alone in that sterile cold looking room'

'You've seen her then?'

'Obviously'

'I wish things could have been different'

'So do I, if you had listened to her she would be here downstairs with us where she belongs. Not having to go through what she needs to, to get back on her feet. I thought it was odd I couldn't get hold of her. I never in a million years envisioned this' he said feeling the need to vent to someone and that someone happened to be Kerry.

'Look Carter she's going to be okay'

'Yes, but it needn't have happened'

'But it did, unfortunate as it is'

'But why did it have to happen to Abby?' he looked Kerry straight in the eye, then suddenly turned and walked away

Kerry looked at everyone staring at her and snapped 'Haven't you got jobs to do' as she hurried back to the elevator.

'So what exactly was Carter saying?' asked Sam

'That Abby is in room six one nine' said Randi 'Maybe we should get some money together and buy some flowers'

'We still don't know what's wrong with her' commented Susan

'Well' said Randi 'I'll go organise the flowers then you can go give them to her and get some details'

'Sounds like a plan' replied Susan itching to find out what had happened to her friend. But disinclined to ask Carter, he had seemed upset enough as it was.

o0o

'Hey' said Susan entering room six one nine with a large bouquet of flowers.

'I take it Carter spoke to you' Abby replied 'They're beautiful, thank you' she added referring to the flowers

'They're from everyone' Susan informed her 'how are you feeling?'

'Just peachy'

'You know, I wondered where you had got to, I wanted you to be the first to know that I getting married, to Chuck, again, nothing fancy but this time I wanted a matron of honour, you'

Abby gave half a smile 'That's great, I'd love to, when I get out of here'

Susan smiled and said 'It's not 'til July. So what's keeping you here?'

'Carter didn't tell?'

'No, he had a little chat with Weaver, both of them spoke in riddles we just about figured you were in room six one nine'

'Oh' Abby replied pleased that Carter hadn't blabbed all over. Then again she knew that he wouldn't have anyway.

'So?' Susan asked again and Abby proceeded to tell Susan what she recalled of the day she was shot.

o0o

'Sorry I'm late I've just checked with the nurse to make sure you ate some dinner' said Carter entering Abby's room

'I wondered why she hung over me making sure I was eating' she replied

'Well, see now they've taken the D5W out, that must feel better'

'Some. It will be even better tomorrow when this has finished running in' she said indicating the blood IV.

'You still look rather pale'

'Thank you for your encouraging words' she said sarcastically.

'Sorry didn't mean it like that'

'So' she said 'You said if I ate something you would bring something nice to eat'

'And so I have' he held out the paper bag he was carrying and a spoon he had obtained from the canteen. 'You can't eat it all though you'll be sick' he said 'Besides I'd like some too, I'm starving'

He sidled up to the bed and she painfully inched over slightly so that he could sit on it facing her. Then he took the vanilla ice cream out the bag.

'I was going to buy rocky road but I thought that would be too sickly for someone who isn't eating properly' off her disappointed look he added 'Maybe next time'.

She smiled at him as he started feeding her and himself ice cream, which felt like a completely normal thing to do for both of them. Not leaving until she was asleep once more.

o0o

Abby discovered that the remainder of her time in hospital passed really quickly. First she had to give a statement to the police. Then she had a guy come down to talk with her with regard to the traumatic event she had gone through. Then when she was back on her feet she had to attend some physical therapy. Not to mention visits from her friends and colleagues especially one Dr Carter who as promised brought rocky road ice cream with him. In between all this she didn't have time to reflect on what had happened, as she was too tired and slept. Eventually though she was pleased to be sent home.

o0o

'It's no problem' insisted Carter

'Thank you I appreciate the offer but the answers still no' Abby told him

Carter sighed exasperated 'Abby why won't you let me help you?'

'I'm okay really and the sooner I get used to being back at home alone the better' she said her tone adamant

He knew that there was no point in trying to change her mind but added anyway 'Just because they're discharging you......Look Abby you still need to take it easy'

'I will I promise, I'll be okay in my apartment really' she insisted 'You want to help?'

'You know I do' he answered

'You could get me some groceries'

He raised his eyebrows at her, she thought he was going to tell her that he hoped to help more than that but instead he said 'Well, that's a start. I can make sure you're eating properly I guess'

Relieved by his answer she smiled and said 'You know I appreciate you taking me home too'

'Yeah' he answered smiling back at her knowing when not to push.

o0o

Abby didn't let on but by the time they reached her apartment she was exhausted. Going through the cupboards and fridge Carter noticed the lack of substantial food items there.

'I'll run by the store now if you like?' he suggested, while suddenly noticing how pale and tired she looked

'Great, here' she said thrusting her spare key into his hand 'You can let yourself back in, I need to go sit down....... and John?'

'What?'

'Thank you'

'You're welcome'

o0o

Carter walked around the store in a stupor, which resulted in having to re walk up most of the aisles for things he had missed the first time. Now it was his turn to be worried about Abby, everyone at work commented how well she was doing. Of course they didn't know about the miscarriage, which she still hadn't talked about, not to him and as far as he knew not to Susan either. Perhaps she had mentioned it to the post traumatic counsellor she had to see, he just didn't know. He kind of understood why she hadn't discussed it with him; she probably didn't want to upset him. But he found that he wanted her to talk it through with him, he felt that he could handle it. The other thing which bothered him was that he knew what it was like to suffer something like this and for the outside world to think life was just fine, even when it wasn't. Carter didn't think Abby would become a drug addict, she had only taken the bare minimum of drugs when in hospital. No he was more concerned that she would start drinking again.

o0o

When Abby awoke she found that she had the comforter thrown over her. The apartment was quiet and still and she decided that Carter had already left. Slowly she got up and pottered into the kitchen to make a coffee, while pouring through the cupboards to see what Carter had brought. The whole store by the look of it, she chose something simple to prepare for dinner, even if she didn't feel much like eating it.

Later she sat alone in bed, as she couldn't get comfortable on the sofa. She decided she had underestimated how she actually was. But Carter had known and if she was honest with herself he had been right, she would have been better staying with him for a bit, but she didn't want to burden him with her problems. Problems that would only rake up the recent past for him and she just didn't know if that was something that he could cope with after all he had been through.