AN: Thank you for your encouraging reviews. Please don't panic just read the chapter through to the end, before you criticise my storyline, okay, it's not as bad as it first appears, then you can gripe if you still wish too.

Drawn Uncontrollably To You

Chapter 25

Three months later

Abby stood by the window of the bedroom her hairdryer in one hand and a her hairbrush in the other as she took in what Carter was telling her. She thought that they had finished this discussion two months ago but no it came and reared it's ugly head once more.

'No' she retorted to his ludicrous revelation.

'It's for two weeks Abby' he protested

'It's dangerous, you could get hurt or worse die out there. I said it before and I'm saying it again'

'I'll be careful'

'Just because you're careful, doesn't mean that everyone else around you will be'

'I'm going' Carter stated firmly, they both were beginning to shout as the argument escalated.

'Why?'

'I promised Luka'

'That's the only reason?'

'That and wanting to make a difference'

'You've already made a difference there and you make a difference her everyday'

'I'm going Abby, nothing you say is going to make me change my mind'

'I don't understand you sometimes John Carter. First you wrap me up in cotton wool, now you're leaving me when I'm six months pregnant'

'It's a couple of weeks Abby'

'So you keep telling me, and so you said before but it wasn't was it'

'This isn't like last time'

'Oh I don't know, you wouldn't listen to me then, so I'd say it's about the same. Luka either for that matter. I need you to be here with me'

'And I will be I promise. You didn't want me to fuss over you'

'I don't but this is the other extreme'

'Abby I just have to do this. Please understand'

'Well I don't understand John, I don't understand at all' she was crying now. She roughly swiped the tears away with the back of her hand and willed herself to stop crying over him whilst he was still in the room and blaming her raging hormones in the process.

'I've already explained' he said again more gently this time.

'Fine, just go' she told him.

'I will' he said walking out of the room.

'Where are you going now?' she asked

'County I've got a shift' he said turning to face her across the room for a moment before leaving her standing alone in their bedroom.

'I can't believe you're doing this' she whispered into the room as the front door slammed shut and she burst into tears this time not even trying to stop the flow.

o0o

Susan looked up from the computer two days later and saw Carter coming down the corridor, leaving what she was doing she went to speak with him.

'Carter' she said stopping him in his tracks

'Susan' he said chirpily as he felt in a really good mood this morning despite the fact that Abby was still mad with him.

'I need to talk to you' she said pulling him into the suture room which was empty.

'Why in here?' he asked

'Because I don't want the entire hospital hearing what I have to say' she explained in an annoyed tone

'Something tells me I have done something to upset you' he said

'What are you playing at?'

'What are you talking about?'

She gave him an exasperated look before saying 'Abby, Africa, ring any bells'

'Abby's been talking to you right?'

'She's my friend and I'm concerned about her. She told you she doesn't want you to go?'

'Too many times to mention, yes'

'Then why won't you stay?'

'I want to do this, I need to do this for me'

'Do you, what about Abby?'

'This isn't about Abby, this is about me'

'Oh no Carter you're wrong this became about Abby when you became husband and wife'

Carter sighed beginning to get agitated with Susan and where this discussion was leading.

'I need to go and help again, I want to see if it's changed in the past couple of years for the better or not'

'Are you sure that they are your only motives, you know what they're gossiping about at the desk don't you?'

'Who knows what they're gossiping about? It's always something'

Susan sighed 'I'll tell you then..'

'I don't know if I really want to know' Carter interrupted

'Oh but I think I'll tell you anyway. They're talking about the fact that you're going back because you don't know if you made the right decision between Abby and Kem'

'That is ridiculous. I love Abby I always have and I always will'

'Is it. Aren't you even a little bit curious to see what Kem's doing right now?'

'I hope she's happy' he said looking Susan straight in the eye.

'You know Carter you have to be really sure that this is what you really want to do. You know I heard someone say once that to the world you maybe only one person, but to that one person you might be the world. Don't you know you're Abby's world, you and the baby?'

Carter didn't have the opportunity to answer as they were disturbed by knocking on the door followed by the appearance of the second year resident Christine Schultz. 'Sorry to interrupt but I need to use this room'

'Sure' said Carter to her, then to Susan he said 'this discussion is over'

o0o

Abby sat on the bench looking out at the river when she became aware that someone had joined her there she turned her head to see Fleur.

'Hey' Fleur said 'It appears my brother is a stubborn fool'

Abby smiled and said 'You heard about Africa?'

'Mmm, yes well he came and told me himself, but it's all they're talking about at the desk in the ER'

'Until either Carter or myself approach' Abby added

'Word has it that you're mad with him' she said

'Yeah. But I know that's when's he's made up his mind about something, well..... Doesn't make it easier though'

'He asked me to watch out for you'

'He did?'

'Uh huh, don't know what I can do?'

'Listen to me whinge?' suggested Abby 'I know he's going, he won't not go even for me'

o0o

Carter was in the bedroom packing when Abby finally summoned the courage to talk to him once more before he left.

'John?' she said cautiously entering the room.

'Abby' he said carefully.

Abby walked further into the room and sat on the bed.

'I want to say a couple of things before you go' she said

'If you're going to start another argument I don't want to know' he said

'No' she replied quietly sighing as accepting his decision had been hard, unbearable almost, but she had, because she loved him. 'John' she put her hand on his arm to gain his full attention.

He looked at her and said 'I have to get this done Abby'

'Just a minute, please?'

'Okay' he replied pushing his bags out of the way and joining her on the bed.

'You know how I feel about you going and everything?' she said and he nodded waiting for her to continue. 'I don't want it to be like the first time when you left and we were mad with each other'

'No' he agreed

'I want you to be happy and if going will make you happy then you should go. I'll still be here in two weeks...' she stopped unable to continue.

He lifted her chin with his finger and looked deep into her eyes and said 'Thank you' before holding her close.

o0o

Despite her better judgement Abby went to the airport with Luka and Carter. Luka tactfully walked ahead and waited so that they could say goodbye with some degree of privacy.

Abby looked at the floor, anywhere was better that looking Carter in the eye. She was fully aware that today she would not be able to hide the emotions, they were clearly displayed on her face, the tears in her eyes.

Without trying to sound too desperate she said looking up at him 'John, please, please stay?'

'I can't I have to do this. This one last time' he told her rubbing up and down her arms with his hands. Not wanting to meet her gaze, knowing the expression that would be there. He pulled her towards him in a hug, as close as the growing baby would allow before he said 'Nothing's gonna stop me coming home to you both'

He pulled away slightly and bent his head gently brushing his lips with hers and then letting her go.

'I love you' she told him almost inaudibly but loud enough for him to hear and feel like a dagger penetrating his heart.

He slung his backpack over his shoulder and had gone no more than ten paces when he stopped and turned his head round to take one more look at Abby, the expression on her face and the tears in her eyes nearly broke him.

0o0

Some time later Luka and Carter sat side by side in the departure lounge in silence. Carter couldn't get the image of Abby's parting look out of his head. All the reasons he thought important faded into insignificance, when he really thought about what mattered most.

He stood abruptly, startling Luka as he swung his backpack onto his shoulder.

'What are you doing?' Luka asked sitting up straight

'I'm going' Carter replied

'Where?'

'Home'

'What?' asked Luka confused

'Send my apologies, but I'm going home'

'I don't understand Carter'

'I was going for the wrong reasons but now I'm staying for the right one' he explained

'It's your decision' Luka said

'That's right. Take care of yourself Luka. I don't want to have to come and find you again'

'I will' Luka replied

'Have a good trip' Carter said and then he turned and walked away.

o0o

Carter walked briskly into the ER and walked straight up to the desk.

'Shouldn't you be on a plane right now?' asked Frank in his usual manner

'Where's Abby?' Carter asked ignoring Franks' question

'She's not here' supplied Chuny 'What's going on?'

'Why, what's happened?' he said trying not to sound frantic.

'Christine Schultz came in and asked her to swap the night shift for a shift tomorrow instead. Said she had to be somewhere important during the day.' Chuny supplied.

'Abby didn't turn down the offer of not working all night' Susan told him

'So where did Abby go?' Carter asked

'Home I should imagine, she looked awful' Susan said

'Mmm. Well you can blame that on me' Carter told her 'If you're short of attending's I'll come in and work tomorrow okay' he added to them all generally, then turned on his heel and left

'What was that all about?' asked Frank

'Who knows?' shrugged Susan

o0o

Abby carefully stepped into the bath and sank down amongst the bubbles. This was the best thing that she had done all day. She lay back and shut her eyes. She woke suddenly, disorientated for a few seconds, the water now cool and was thinking about getting out when she heard noises coming from downstairs. She wished at that moment that she had at least brought the phone into the room with her.

o0o

Carter had let himself in as quietly as he could but tripped over a box in the hall. He walked around the downstairs looking for Abby but not wanting to call out in case she was sleeping. Then he began to ascend the stairs.

o0o

Abby had gotten out of the bath and put on a robe tying it loosely over her bump. Then she stuck her head out of the en-suite bathroom, when she decided it was safe she crossed the room to locate the phone.

She was just about to dial 911 when the bedroom door opened and there stood John Carter the last person in the world she expected to see.

The phone fell out of her hand and landed on the ground with a thud, bouncing once before it settled on the floor. Abby continued to stare at him and it wasn't until he spoke that she realised that he was real and not just her imagination.

'Abby, I went into work Susan said you'd swapped your shift'

Abby feeling relieved it wasn't a burglar after all was now rather confused as to why he was standing in the doorway.

'Was the flight cancelled?' she asked as it was the only logical explanation she could think of at that exact moment.

'No'

'I don't understand' she told him

'No' he said 'I didn't understand, but now I do. You were right'

Abby still confused walked round the bed and sat down on the side facing him.

'So when are you leaving?' she asked

'I'm not. Luka went alone' Carter said as he stepped into the room.

'So you're not going?' Abby clarified wondering what had changed his mind so unexpectedly.

'No the only place I'll be going tomorrow is County' he walked up to the bed and sat beside her.

'What was I right about?' Abby asked

'About making a difference, you're right I don't have to be in Africa to make a difference. I make a difference here everyday. That and the danger thing I decided I didn't want to put myself in that sort of situation, there's not just me anymore is there?' He took the time to caress her stomach as he spoke then he added. 'But there's something else'

'Is there?' she whispered

'Yeah' he said and traced his index finger down the side of her face before continuing 'Something I overlooked'

'What's that?'

'You. I know I said nothing will stop me from coming home but it wasn't until I was looking at the monitor watching the flight move up the departure board that I realised. I didn't need to go. I didn't want to go. I want to be here with you. I didn't realise how much you love me until that moment. You love me enough to let me go willingly, even though it's the one thing you hoped I'd never do again. I love you Abby and I'm not leaving again to jet off to the other side of the world to play some sort of hero, I promise'

'I can't believe you're saying this' she said still amazed that he was here with her.

'I mean it'

'I know' she told him and opened her arms and he fell into them and he knew that he was where he belonged.

o0o

AN: Well if you managed to read to the end of the chapter I hope that the end was not too mushy. Still a chapter or two to follow some time after the weekend as I have a hectic schedule the next few days and won't be able to even get near a computer.