Disclaimer: I don't think trading everything I own could get me Kenshin. Sorry guys, but I do not own him.
Author's Notes: HELLO! ^___^ Oh yes. You're authoress STILL LIVES. She just has about 11 other stories she's working on at once. . Oh well. You forgive me, ne? I'm not exactly positive in what I'm gonna have happen in this chapter………. So we'll see, ne? The interlude to this chapter is by Fuel, and the song is called 'Won't Back Down (Bring You Hell)'.
~Building the Hitokiri~
***Chapter 9- Disappearing With the Wind***
'The shadows that you see (in the places that you sleep)
Are memories of me (better pray your soul to keep).'
The winds picked up as the girl stared down before him, the shocked etched within her facial features. Kenshin kept his cold stare up at her as her mouth flew open and her hand over it. There had been so many lies to bury something so horrific, and the truth apparently hurt.
"I knew it all along………" she muttered to herself. "There……… that's what he did to all the others………"
Taking a quick standing position, Kenshin looked down at the girl. "Will you help me or not?"
The girl nodded quickly. "I will. But……… I don't want to turn out like the rest."
He looked at her. "No one will harm you were I'm taking you."
She folded her hands neatly together on her lap as she knelt beside him, her saddened blue eyes gazing upon him momentarily after she gained enough courage to look up at him. Tentatively her hand reached toward his face and her fingers traced the line down across his face, her eyes gazing at it with sympathy.
"You're bleeding………" she told him softly. "You're bleeding for them……….."
Kenshin yanked his head back away from her touch. Too much kindness that he didn't deserve, he began chanting in his head. This girl seemed more worried about his state of mind and well being than what was happening to her. The rope burns that marred the delicate skin of her wrists were fresh, but she ignored them. There was a light bruise across her neck, and a scar leading from her collarbone downward. He forced himself to avert his suspiciously wandering gaze.
"Did I do something?" she questioned. "I know I don't have soft hands………"
Kenshin shook his head. "Just tell me what he does to you."
The girl looked at him, her midnight hair surrounding her body as a gentle breeze flew into the yard where they were talking. Her eyes fell to the dirty ground and she wrung her hands together.
"It's not safe here to speak." She told him. "He'll kill me. And then he'll kill you."
He shook his head. "No one is going to kill Battousai anytime soon. What is your name?"
Expecting sudden shock from the woman, he was surprised to not see her gaze chance in the slightest. "My name? K………"
"Where is she? I want her in here now!" came a stern voice.
The girl's hand flew to her neck and she stared over to the side out of fright, before turning her malevolent eyes to the man before her. Kenshin had picked on the call too, and he stood silently, grasping the young woman's arm tightly as he did. He motioned to the direction of the wall where the trees surrounded it. In his mind, Kenshin could see it as a hiding place. The girl shook her head indignantly, tears I her eyes. Kenshin persisted with a gentle, yet commanding, hiss.
"Do you want to be caught?"
She shook her head and ran off toward the trees, Kenshin directly on her heels. She hesitated before she turned and crouched behind one, her fear written out like a book upon her face.
'A book……… like the face of the man when I got this scar………' Kenshin muttered within his jumbled mind as he crouched next to the girl, his hand hovering maliciously above the hilt of his weapon. The guards of his corrupted and disputable father came clambering around the extravagantly large and luxurious lands, looking for any signs of the missing woman.
Hands reached for his shoulders and a shuddering body pressed tightly against him, cries muffled within the thickness of his haori and gi. Kenshin took the time to look behind him to see the terrified gaze of the young raven haired girl, staring back at him with unshed fiery tears of remorse. A quick inspection behind her proved to tell him the tale of why she hadn't wished to run directly behind the tree line.
This was the place his father used for the undug graves of woman he had apparently punished. His heart twisted with a sick regret for the woman and new resolve for the disposal of his arrogant father. Had he not come, the woman clutching so vainly to his clothing would have ended up there with the women that littered the ground, their bodies nesting holes for all sorts of decomposers and scavengers. A rat burst from the neckline of one the doomed geishas and the girl jumped against him more, her fright obvious as her heart began to beat rougher against his back. Kenshin snarled inwardly at the sight of carnage around him, and he turned his attention back toward the guards.
He had to admit that this woman had every right to be as terrified and horrified as she was. Normally he would have pulled away from her, but the sights and things she had gone through, he couldn't imagine, and he decided that even the coldest form of comfort was well wroth giving to her. The lack of safety and compassion that carved deep voids within his life had been buried deep, but the memories of the woman who tried to bring that upon him and their ultimate demise were vivid and biting. That was all he needed to find it within his chilled heart to allow the woman this small amount of comfort.
"Find Kamiya. I need her back here. You know she is my favorite." The lustful voice came across the field.
His voice hadn't changed in a single octave, Kenshin noted bitterly. Upon hearing her surname, the girl, Kamiya, let her tears flow and she bit her lower lips subconsciously in deeply concentrated and withheld fear. The emotions running through her eyes were obviously only the surface to her buried fear. The thought of that made Kenshin's heart twist into a painful angle before he could compose himself enough to retain himself from blindly attacking the reason for so much pain. This pain hadn't ended with him, though, it had been distributed upon many other unsuspecting people, and Kenshin couldn't help but pity the girl behind him.
The tortures she went through, with a man as grotesquely minded as his father, he didn't wish to imagine. With ten years under his belt to plan new forms of beating, Kenshin was positive it was much worse than his memory allowed for him to recall. And that angered him more. If someone could perform acts that horrid, they didn't deserve to live.
This was what he was fighting for. To protect the innocent from fates that weren't supposed to be bestowed upon them. He would bear the pain for them if it would help them escape the things they had no reason to experience. If he could save a life for every one he took, Kenshin thought, he would be doing the right thing.
"Where is Kaoru?" came the voice again. "I want her!"
"We're sorry, Himura-sama, but she doesn't appear to be anywhere around. Perhaps you overlooked her?"
"No. I know her face."
The girl's grip increased against Kenshin's back.
"But when I do find her, she will regret running off like this. In the morning, I want you to search the city for her. Find her and drag her back here."
Kenshin's hand fell away from the sword at his side as he awaited the guards departure. The girl continued to shudder against him, and his heart constricted. So many strange emotions were winding their way throughout his body, and he was scared of that fact. His compassion for this girl had increased after hearing his father's voice. All he wanted to do now was pull away from the tortures and terrors she experienced and take her to a safe haven.
Maybe, Tomoe would take care of her.
"Don't worry." He muttered softly. "Nothing will happen. Let's go."
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"Himura, you can't bring back a woman on every job you run out on." Came the voice of the Innkeeper. "I cannot house everyone."
"She needs a room and a change of clothing."
Soft footsteps padded into the room.
"I'll take care of her. Come with me." came Tomoe's demure voice as she took a hold of Kaoru's arm. "I'll find you something more presentable and show you where you will be working."
Kaoru seemed reluctant to leave Kenshin's side, but at the reassuring glance he gave her, she allowed Tomoe to gently lead her away to a separate room. Kenshin kept his gaze upon the two women he had managed to rescue over the course of bloodshed and carving of bodies he had caused in the time he had spent within the Ishin Shishi. As much as he wanted to deny it, the few he had managed to save, namely those two, were the only thing driving him onward with the decision he had made to leave his master so long ago.
Sometimes he started to ponder if that had been a wise decision. All the training he had been put through and the years of broken blisters and growing calluses had not been completed. And now here he was, killing people in order to uphold the success of the Ishin Shishi.
Had that truly been a good thing? Was he really protecting the innocent like he had wanted to do in the beginning?
Convincing himself not to ponder over such thoughts any longer, Kenshin led himself toward his room to rest for the remainder of the night, and hopefully well into the day. No meetings had been scheduled for them, and he was certain that Katsura wouldn't be prepared to force another assignment upon his already heavily burdened shoulders. That assurance placed a placid calm upon his soul, and after arranging himself in the normal position of his sword against his shoulder and his back against a stack of books, Kenshin feel into a state of comatose that he could easily awaken from.
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What would be his next course of action? When would he find himself upon the corrupted lands of his father again? When would he find himself upon the graveyard of so many women again?
Could this anger within him ever fade?
Kenshin had awoken much sooner than he would have liked to, and taking the time to explore the lands again, he remembered where he was. This place where he had dwelled as a hitokiri was the resting place of his sisters and mother. This was the place where his childhood was destroyed, where the abuse of a father reached its pinnacle. So many destructive memories spiraled around the trees and the grounds he stood in the center of. Secrets of a life that would never be revealed to the eyes of another lay dormant within these grounds, and Kenshin's anger caused him to bow his head and do something he hadn't done in years.
He cried.
The tears weren't tears of sadness, and they weren't those of happiness. The salty tears that flew from his eyes were those of frustration, of anger. They were tears of hatred, tears of betrayal. Someplace that was supposed to be a safe haven had turned out to be a danger in his life. Had there ever been a time that he was truly safe?
"How much longer will I have to carry this guilt?" he whispered to himself, his fists clenched tight enough to draw blood from his palm. "How much longer, Sakura? How much longer do I have to know that I was the only one who lived? Mother, how longer do I have to stand here and know that father is still doing the same things he did before, destroying more lives? Akane, how much longer do I have to beat myself up over being too weak to save you from that gun, being too scared to move from my spot and take the bullet for you? Why was I the only one who lived……… why wasn't it one of you? All of you?"
Raising his head high, he blinked back at what remained of the frustrated, guilt driven tears that stained his face. "How much longer before I can finally avenge you, cause him the pain he did to me? How much longer do I have wait before I can finally put this behind me? Will you always be in my heart, tormenting me the way the lives of the men I take with this blade do? Will you become a ghost of the past the will never leave me? Sakura, Akane……… mother; I've tried so hard. I don't know what else to do anymore. Being seventeen with nowhere to run and nothing to lose is so hard. The only reason I've made it this far is my grudge and my vow to avenge you. When will I make that vow ring true? Can I? Can I risk it, knowing that the lives of the men here that fight alongside me, that the lives of Tomoe and Kaoru……… knowing that this one death could cause an uproar and destroy all hope of this war ever ending?"
The stress of the options was becoming too great for him. His father deserved to die by his hand; he deserved to have the right to rip out the mans heart and squeeze it until the blood dripped empty. His father deserved the pains he had caused to the people Kenshin loved, that he was supposed to protect. The sins his father had committed were much larger and than those Kenshin had, and his father didn't even feel remorse for any of them.
Could that ever be forgivable?
The risk was too much. His father was an ally to the Ishin Shishi. The irony of that statement was ill conceived. Why? Would his murder of his father bring about a split in the Ishin Shishi's relations with other high ranking leaders and officials? Could this one thing he had promised himself be the ending of the reason he came to fight in the first place? Could he take the chance of every life he took being taken in vain?
A decision had to be made that night. There were still things he had to question Kaoru about, but Tomoe had taken over her care like a mother and Kenshin hadn't had the heart to pry into affairs that vile in Kaoru's life just yet. He would need to that day, but for now, he decided, she needed to realize that she was safe here, safe under the protection that Katsura had granted her.
So many things to do before the day was done and not enough time to give them all proper consideration, Kenshin realized grimly. There were things he needed to solve tonight, problems he needed to confront. He wasn't frightened of anything anymore; death was becoming a welcomed gift. But he was still needed. He still had a promise to keep to himself, one to Tomoe, one to the Ishin Shishi, one to Kaoru. So many people to protect, and he was doing so with a confused blade.
Could he still do this?
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Kaoru looked over at her attempt at making soba. Tomoe bustled with her own cooking next to her, and Kaoru frowned. She had never been an expert in the kitchen, but Tomoe had been polite enough to instruct her the entire way thus far with her new venture with cooking. She felt oddly forceful to ask for her help again.
"Tomoe-san, I think I messed up again." Kaoru muttered remorsefully, moving away as Tomoe intervened.
Tomoe graced her with a small, sympathetic smile. "I take you did not spend much time in the kitchen growing up, did you Kaoru-chan?"
A blush crept upon her lips. "Hai. My mother died when I was young, so my father brought me up. I trained in kendo, not in the proper kitchen skills. My cooking is good enough for me, but I'm afraid it's not suitable enough to feed an army, Tomoe-san. After father died I had to feed myself, but my skills aren't as sharp as yours are."
"Don't fret over it. You'll learn eventually." Tomoe assured her softly. "I won't complain. How about you allow me to do the cooking, and you can clean the floors?"
Kaoru smiled, glad she could still help. "That's something I can do. Do you think it's something like cleaning a drill hall?"
"Exactly the same, Kaoru-chan." Tomoe answered.
Turning to take hold of a bucket, Kaoru nearly jumped when she saw Kenshin standing in the doorway.
"Himura-san." She responded. "Can we help you?"
"I need to speak with you if Tomoe doesn't have you busy at the moment." Kenshin told her. "I need to know what my father's been up to, and perhaps have a map of his home."
Kaoru turned to Tomoe, who nodded slowly and motioned for her to go with Kenshin. Kaoru set down the bucket she had lifted and promised to get to cleaning the floors when she was finished before she caught up with Kenshin and followed him in the empty dining hall of the Inn.
Motioning for her to settle herself at a small table, Kenshin awaited for her to sit before he himself followed in suit and sat across from her.
"What do you need to know?" Kaoru questioned him, her hands fidgeting within her nervousness. "I'm not sure I can be of too much help."
Kenshin reached across the table and took a gentle hold of her wrists. "Don't be so fidgety. Nothing is going to happen to you here, I promise you that much. Katsura-san has placed you under his own protection, so you'll be safe. I just need to know what you can tell me about what he's been doing as of late, and maybe draw me a small map of the inside of his home."
"So you can plan an attack?" Kaoru guessed. "I know he tries to keep at least fifteen guards outside of his living quarters at all time, and two outside of his sleeping chambers."
Her voice wavered slightly at the mention of the sleeping chambers, but Kenshin didn't pursue that part of his interrogation yet. The woman was still very shook up from her experience, he could see, and he didn't wish to frighten her anymore if that was at all possible.
"And just around the inside of the living space is about, maybe twenty or so guards. I never understood why he needed so many of them. I think he realized he was target or something of the sort." Kaoru continued softly. "On the corner of the land is the place where the geishas and prostitutes live. He calls for six a night, usually periodically. Some never return back the next day, and some do."
Kenshin nodded slowly. "Can you describe the inside of his home?"
Kaoru eyes fell down toward her hands, which she had clasped in her lap. "It's a western built home, with solid oak doors and walls. There is a kitchen, his sleeping quarters, a study, dining hall, and a few other rooms. He has a weaponry closet close to his room, and a dojo next to that inside of the building."
"Okay."
"On the other corner of the land is the shed where the tack for his horses is kept. Next to that is the stable, and then next to the fortress wall is sleeping quarters for the guards." She explained. "They periodically change shifts."
"I'm sorry to have to ask you this, but where does the punishment take place?" Kenshin asked, motioning to the rope burns along her wrists and the bruise on her neck and now covered collarbone.
Kaoru stiffened at the mention of it, but decided to answer Kenshin's question nonetheless. "He has a closet within his room. In there is a chair, which he ties the offending geisha or prostitute to. You're lucky if you just get away with a punishment from the chair."
"What does he do?"
She shut her eyes and shook her head. The memories flashed within her mind, and she unconsciously held the table within her grip. Kenshin's guilt rose, but he had to know what his father was doing to her and the other doomed women within his own little fortress of a home.
"Kaoru, you have to answer me. I don't mean to pry, but I need to know." He told her. "If he's still abusing like he used to do to my family and myself, then I need to get rid of him now."
Her eyes flashed up to Kenshin's face and tears began to threaten to build within her eyes. "In the chair, it's mostly just whipping. He ties you to the chair, and whips you, maybe smacks you a few times. Otherwise……… if you do something he doesn't like……… while……… he has been known to take a knife to you."
'A knife, just like with mother………' "Okay."
"But……… he never kills them in the same way." She shuddered. "Never in the same. Each time its worse and more bloody, and each time he smiles."
"He smiles." Kenshin grit out angrily.
"He's not going to be easy to get to." Kaoru mumbled. "He………"
He placed a hand awkwardly upon her shoulder. "I can get through to him, don't worry. I made a promise long ago to avenge my family and make him suffer for what he did to us. My reasons just increased. If that's how he's been treating all these other women, then………"
"He picks them up off the streets." Kaoru shuddered. "He meets you, invites you over, and then you are stuck there with him for life. He took me one day that way. Just off of the streets. He invited me to eat dinner with him while we overlooked the will my father left me."
"A dirty trick." Kenshin mumbled. "Did you discuss the will?"
"We never even ate. His guards led me to his chambers." Kaoru answered, her voice starting to crack.
"Don't finish Kaoru." Kenshin stopped her. "You don't need to explain anymore to me. Go find Tomoe, and stay with her. I have something I have to do."
Kaoru nodded and stood, nearly running out of the hall and back to the kitchen where Tomoe last was. Kenshin never moved from his position while he thought about his next course of action. The question was no longer if he could risk taking this chance and destroying his father.
The question was now, how was he going to do it.
Author's Notes: YAY! This chapter was longer than the other, but, it also took longer to post. I apologize! __ I didn't meant to take so long! Please review and let me know if this was good. And be sure to tell me about how annoying it was to wait for me to update! ^__^
Love and hugs,
Crystal Renee