Chapter Three: Parenting 101
They reached the bathroom without further incident. Juggling the children under each arm, Giles managed to flip on the light. Wordlessly, Buffy leant over to kick aside the ring of crystals and herbs set in a circle on the floor, picking up the open book and setting it on the counter. She turned to the tub and flipped on the tap water, looking over her shoulder at the towel rack.
"I'm pretty sure we have enough for the whole crew." Glancing up, she studied Giles as he placed the girls on the floor. "You're pretty good with children, Giles," she observed.
He handed her the bubble bath and shampoo from the cupboard, shrugging self-consciously. "It's my first time."
Anya tried to pick up the large bottle of bubble bath, and it slipped from her fingers with a crash, bouncing on the floor and sending soap all over the linoleum. Righting the bottle quickly, Buffy set it to the side, rolling tense shoulders as she did. Tara leaned over and slapped her hands in the spreading lavender stain, her face brightening as the soap leapt up into her trailing blonde locks.
Buffy reached out and took her hand firmly. "No," she said. Chastised, Tara backed away and ran into Giles legs. The girl turned and threw sticky hands around him, burying her face in his knees. He realized too late that his pants were now coated in soap, and he sighed.
"Wonderful," he said. Buffy smiled up at him wryly.
"Sorry, Giles, but I'm not washing you too," she said.
He looked her in the eye and replied, "My fondest wish yet again put on hold." The slayer stared at him, wide eyed, and he began to smile.
"Giles!" she shrieked, and laughing, threw a towel at his head, which he caught easily.
"Does this mean you won't be my nurse at the retirement home?" he added mischievously. She shook her head and threw a bottle at him, which he also caught. "No sponge baths? After everything I've done for you?!"
Buffy collapsed against the side of the filling tub in helpless gales of laughter; and he joined in, delighted that he was the first person to bring that sparkle back into her eyes. The way she looked when she laughed, so alive, so youthful... He squashed that train of thought. It seemed that she suddenly realized what she was doing as well, because the light flickered and faded from her eyes, and she stared hard at the soap covered floor. Leaning over, she wordlessly began to sop up the mess with a towel.
Xander leaned over and began to help, spreading more bubble bath than cleaning. He looked up into her eyes worriedly.
"I help," he said, an anxious tone creeping into his words, and he scrubbed harder, his cheeks flushing with effort. She stopped him gently, and he looked up, his face filled with worry.
"I can do it, Xand," she said softly. He stared at her, confused. Reaching over, she took the towel from him, and he began to blink rapidly, doe brown eyes filling with tears. Taken aback, she looked up at Giles for help, but he seemed just as surprised as she felt. She stretched out and touched Xander's cheek, and felt a cold wave of shock hit her as he flinched away from her, eyes downcast.
"Xander," she managed through the knot of tears forming at the back of her throat. He looked up at her, his face miserable. She smiled at him warmly, trying to convey all the love she felt for him with that one gesture. "Xander, it's okay," she said soothingly. "You're not in trouble. No one's gonna hurt you here, okay? Do you understand?"
The boy nodded slowly, comprehension filling his eyes. He smiled at her shyly. "I stay?" he asked hopefully. She smiled and hugged him to her. Abruptly she let him go and fled the room.
The children stared up at the remaining adult, and Giles felt the weight of their stares like a ton of bricks. Freezing momentarily, he stared down at them blankly. The overflow in the tub began to gargle, and he leaned over to switch off the tap.
"Um, who wants to go first?" he managed. Xander waved his arm in the air and he lifted
him over the edge. "Now, sit down," he instructed. "Be careful." The boy nodded seriously and settled at the end of the tub. Willow began to scramble over the side of the tub, and he helped her in, decided that any damage was already done, as they had been naked for about ten minutes in front of each other anyway. Anya tugged on his hand.
"Me now," she instructed bossily, and he hoisted her over, thankful that the tub was large enough to fit them all in. Tara and Dawn stared over the edge with wide eyes, and Xander waved at them cheerily.
"In?" he asked the girls, and they grinned back.
"Alright, all of you then," Giles sighed, and lifted the girls over the edge, pulling their shirts off as they went.
The door opened behind them, and Buffy entered, her eyes puffy and red, her arms filled with clothes. Avoiding Giles concerned gaze, she set the pile on top of the counter.
"It's a good thing Dawn wears such tiny clothes, which, remind me to speak to her about that," Buffy said. "I figured we could slip them all into t-shirts and some shorts. They'd never forgive us if they woke up in their birthday suits next to each other."
"You've already planned their sleeping arrangements?"
Buffy nodded. "They'll fit into Mom's old room - I mean, Willow and Tara's. Biggest bed in the house and all. While they sleep, we'll go through this book." She waved at the spell book on the counter.
"No sweep!" Xander insisted, splashing the water with a hand emphatically. The children took their cues from his and began, as one, to hit the surface, sending a wave of water up to soak the adults as they knelt next to the tub.
Spitting out water, Giles slicked his hair away from his damp forehead. "I do believe that Xander will be detailing my car this weekend for that."
"Not to mention what I'm gonna do to Willow," Buffy growled. The children paid them no heed, and began to splash each other gleefully, their voices raising in cheerful laughter. Giles looked over at the woman beside him, taking in her bedraggled appearance: her hair was plastered to her skull, and what had been left of her eye makeup was now running down her face in streaks.
"Not. One. Word," she cautioned him. He nodded and turned back to the children.
"Stop!" he yelled above the din. The splashing stopped abruptly, and they looked guiltily up at him.
"Giles wash too?" Tara asked. She scooted over and patted the surface of the water near her very carefully. The other kids began to move as well, making room for him.
"No, I will not wash," he said firmly. "I think it's time to dry off."
Disappointed groans rose up, and he stood to help Tara out. Buffy held out a towel and began to dry her off. Lifting Dawn out next, he wrapped her in a towel and then turned to Xander, who was suddenly staring at his fingers, eyes wide in fear.
"Wook! Wook!" he insisted, panicked, holding out his hands. Giles looked dutifully, seeing nothing wrong. Frowning, he waited for the boy to elaborate. Xander shook them at him. "Hurt," he explained. Giles studied them, confused. Buffy leaned past him and took the proffered hand.
"He's all pruney, Giles," she pointed out. Smiling at Xander, she pulled him out. "It's okay," she reassured him. "It happens when you're in the water too long." The boy calmed instantly. Anya, standing up at the side of the tub, suddenly frowned at the boy, seeming to notice something for the first time.
Jabbing a finger at the boys waist, she asked, "What that?" She was obviously pointing at his penis, and Giles rolled his eyes in mild mortification. "I don' like that," she added wisely.
"That's not what I've heard," Buffy noted under her breath. Giles made a noise and then clamped his hand over his mouth. She stared at him. "Did you just giggle?" she demanded. He shook his head, and did it again. "You did! You giggled!"
Unable to suppress it, he let go and rested his head on the tub, hands dipped into the cooling water. "I-it's just...she doesn't l-like -" The rest of the sentence was lost in giggles, and Buffy found herself grinning in response to his fit. She helped the other kids out and wrapped them all in towels, drying them off one at a time briskly. Pausing over Dawn's snarled hair, she shook her head.
"Uh uh, I remember Mom trying to brush her hair. I just recovered all my hearing from those experiences," she said knowingly. Leaving it for tomorrow, she rationalized that Giles would have it fixed by then and Dawn could deal with it herself. Sighing, she grabbed the pile of mismatched clothes and began to sort through them with a critical eye.
"I think that I have enough shorts to fit all of them," she said, frowning. In her mind's eye she saw Xander as an adult, wearing the pair of tight spangly blue shorts she held in her hand. Smiling at the image, she held open another pair of shorts for Dawn, who balanced precariously with her hand on her sister's shoulders as she stepped into the leg holes. Once in, she folded down the top band so that it fit more snugly, and then grabbed a shirt to slip over the girl's head.
"There you go," she said, satisfied momentarily. Glancing up, she noticed Giles patting Tara's head down with a damp towel, doing an ineffectual job of drying it. "Might want to try a dry towel, Giles," she said. Caught off guard, he looked up from his work and glared at her.
"You keep dressing them, and I'll keep drying," he instructed her huffily.
"Whatever you say," she responded, rolling her eyes. She gestured to Xander and he shuffled forward, dragging his towel after him. "Now, what humiliating outfit can I put you in, hm?" she asked reflectively, groping for the blue shorts. Shaking his head, Giles made to answer but was interrupted by a knock downstairs. Buffy froze, glancing over at the children surrounding her and then back up into his eyes.
"Who could it be?" she asked, frowning. He held up a hand.
"I'll take care of it, don't worry," he assured her. "Just you take care to finish what you're doing, and I'll be back up in a moment."
"Just like a man, leaving the woman with all the hard work!" she complained. Smiling gamely at her, he shut the bathroom door so the children couldn't escape. Taking the stairs two at a time, he was surprised to find he was in a better mood with this latest of impending disasters than he had been since before Buffy's death.
Whoever it was now pounded on the door, and he frowned to realize that they weren't at the front door, but at the kitchen doorway, their form outlined in the moonlight. The door still lay on the ground outside where Buffy had thrown it in her panic. He met the stranger's eyes.
"Spike."