Faulkner: I have a confession to make! I had help on this chapter by an
aquaintance of mine via e-mail. I hope it didn't turn out too crappy!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
For the first time in a long time, Ratchet was in a good mood. She was on the open road with only her borrowed horse for company. It sort of surprised her that the Lord and Lady let her go off on her own to Gondor. But that decision had been over and done with for days now.
And her giddy mood prompted her to sing, considering her situation. Her CD player had crapped out days ago, and now the only voice that knew the songs that were frequent at her home was Ratchet herself. So, she had decided to entertain herself and her horse (AN: Singing to a horse? Now where did THAT come from??) by singing.
"Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk?
I didn't mean to call you that
I can't remember what was said or what you threw at me
Please tell me
Please tell me why
My car is in the front yard
And i'm
Sleeping with my clothes
I came in through the window
Last night
And you're gone......gone
It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
'Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me
The smoke alarm is going off and their's a cigarette
Still burning
Please tell me why
My car is in the front yard
And i'm
Sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window
Last night
And you're gone......gone
And you're gone......gone
And you're gone......gone
It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
'Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me
Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk?
I didn't mean to call you that"
She hummed the last of the chords and then fell silent. Ratchet had been on the edge of insanity from boredom all day long. Riding a horse through the countryside was all well and good for entertainment for a few days. But a week? That was stretching it a bit.
"I'm so freakin' bored." she muttered to herself. Her horse whickered. "I'll take that as agreement." Ratchet patted the tri-colored mare on the neck. "And it doesn't even help that I barely know where the hell we are. I wish I had a better map than the one they gave me."
The map in question only showed a strip of area between Lothlorien and Minas Tirith. The map lengthwise went from the Misty Mountains to the battle plain Dagorlad. Though it did put some detail in a few places, like cities and such, others were just plain areas on the piece of parchment.
"You'd think since they were immortal they would have plenty of time to make a decent map. Nutty buggers." she continued to mutter to herself.
She had pressed herself fairly hard, taking Galadriel's warning about not waiting around to heart. And judging by her pitiful map, she was a little more than halfway there. Ratchet was currently traveling along some river called the Entwash.
"I just wish something would bloody happen!" she screamed in frustration.
As is with most silly wishes, this one came true.
A slight shaking of the ground started. Small enough to only be noticed by the horse at first, who just ignored it. Then a noise like the low roll of thunder came to the beasts ears, who started to get antsy as she walked along. Soon enough even Ratchet noticed these things and started panicking.
'What if it's orcs?' she thought. 'Fighting with the Fellowship and the Elves is one thing. But alone?!' Her confidence had been shaken at Helms Deep, and a whole horde of orcs wasn't exactly a good confidence booster.
"Me and my big mouth!" she complained. Ratchet urged her mare into a gallop to try to at least get some distance between them and the 'orcs'.
As luck would have it, her mare tripped on a rock and stumbled. The horse lost her stride and her steps became uneven at best. Ratchet panicked and fell off, tumbling to the ground and badly spraining her right ankle trying to stay upright.
After Ratchet fell off, the mare regained her balance and returned to her temporary master.
"Damn horse!" The mare whickered and lowered her head to sniff at her. "Get your nose out of my face! The first time I really need your speed and you trip. Trip, I tell ya! What have I done to get such pitiful luck?!"
Ratchet tried to get back up to get back in the saddle, but fell on her butt. Her ankle was done in for a couple days at least.
She turned to look at how close her pursuers had come to them. From what she could tell from that distance, pretty much all of them were on horses. But something was definitely odd about them. Since when did orcs ride horses and wear armour that didn't look like it had been dragged through every nasty thing between the sea and the desert to the east?
'I can be such an idiot!' Ratchet slapped her forehead. 'They're humans! I am such a dummy it's not even funny. Hey, I rhymed!'
Even as she thought this, the party of Men came closer and closer. They didn't slow down and stop until they were within six feet of her.
All of them wore armour with horse decorations on them. Even their swords looked like they had some kind of horse symbol on the hilts. The one who seemed to be the leader of the group had gold inlaid into his armour. All in all, it was an impressive sight.
"Who are you, and what are doing away from your home? A lady shouldn't be out alone in these dark times." the leader said.
"Hello to you too. I'm on my way to Minas Tirith as a matter of fact." Ratchet grabbed a stirrup and pulled herself slowly onto her good foot. "My name is.... ah nevermind." She remembered seeing this guy before, but where? Not in Rivendell or Lothlorien certainly.....
The man looked at her sceptically. He looked to be about middle-age with shoulder-length blond hair that was already mostly white and a beard like Boromir had.
'No stupid, don't think of him!' she yelled at herself as she quickly concentrated on remembering where she saw him before. In an attempt to keep her mind off Boromir, she reflected that the mans hair looked like lemonade.
"Anyways, I was wondering if maybe one of you could give me a hand back up onto my horse? I sorta kinda sprained my ankle when I fell off. I'm not much of a rider." The one with the gold armour looked to the young man next to him who signalled to a soldier.
The soldier got off his lovely chesnut colored horse and walked over to her. Without even asking he grabbed her by her waist and lifted her into the saddle. Then he went back into the ranks.
"I suggest you turn around and go back the way you came. You will more than likely die in the battle that is coming." the man said gravely.
Ratchet grinned and tried to somehow ease the pain in her ankle by leaving her foot out of the stirrup.
"Not a chance. I'm no coward and I won't abandon my friends. They're counting on me to be there. I've already lost too many of them." she ended, the grin fading. "Besides, it can't be as bad as that one place was. I think it was called Helms Deep. Yeah, that's it." The men started whispering and shooting glances her way. "That was one messed up battle. Smelt pretty awful too, with those things stinking up the place. All the dead didn't help much either."
"How do you know about Helms Deep?" the young man that had signalled to the soldier asked.
"I was there, no duh." She rolled her eyes. "How else would I know about it? News certainly doesn't travel too fast around here."
The older mans eyes got kind of glassy and unfocused as he thought back to the battle. He remembered seeing the very same girl there, albeit she had been a little less thin than she was now.
"You were with the Elves, weren't you?" he asked. "I remember seeing you next to their leader, Haldir. I can't believe you survived."
"Well. Either I survived or i'm a ghost. And I think I look solid enough." She slapped her thigh for emphasis. "If that's all, i'll be on my way." Ratchet turned the mare about and started off again.
"Wait!" Ratchet stopped and looked over her shoulder to see who called. To her surprise, it was the young man that had ridden next to the old guy in charge. He spurred his horse onward and stopped next to her. "I think it would be in both our interests that you traveled with us." he said.
"What good would that do me? I travel a lot faster by myself than if I had a whole damn army behind me. Or, if I was IN the army." Rachet stated.
"But you would be protected from the orc bands that are now rallying together." he insisted.
"I can protect myself just fine thanks." Ratchet told him. She nudged the mares stomach with her good foot and started off again.
"Maybe against one or two orcs. But what about a whole band?" The young man kept his stallion alongside her.
Ratchet stopped and looked at him searchingly.
"Damn." she muttered. "FINE. You got yourself a traveling partner."
~*Nightfall*~
"Halt!"
The army from Rohan stopped and the ranks dispersed into seperate groups divided by who their captain was. Fires were lit and rations were taken from packs. Many talked quietly and others immediately went to sleep. Yet others stayed awake for their watch.
And one was complaining and being a general nuisance.
"I just HAD to say yes. Me and my big mouth." Ratchet grumbled as she ate some stale bread that was almost as hard as the rock she was sitting on. "Why do I always get myself into these things?"
Eomer, the young man who had convinced her to travel with them, sat next to her and found her grumblings funny.
"Why do you talk to yourself like that?" he asked her suddenly.
She glared balefully at him. "Because it keeps me sane."
"Why? Do you have a reason to be going insane?"
Ratchet groaned and rolled her eyes. "Yes, as a matter of fact. You Rohirrim are driving me up the wall. I'm going absolutely batty over here."
Eomer's eyes widened. "What have we done?"
"As far as I know, you were born. You nutty people are always getting into trouble. First, the thing at Helms Deep, second, conning me into joining you. And third, you just HAD to get all hero-like on me and go after that orc band. I'm never going to get the stench out of my clothes! Not to mention my poor backpack!"
Indeed, her backpack was a muddy mess that everyone was surprised to see was still in one piece. Sort of.
They had run across a band of orcs traveling in the same direction as them. The result, a few cuts, one dead man, an extra horse, and a filthy and very grumpy Ratchet.
"It will just be a few more orcs that won't bother us at the battle ahead." Eomer consoled.
"Pish. Yeah, whatever." She finished her bread piece and laid down next to her pack on the hard ground. "If i'm unlucky enough i'll see you in the morning." she mumbled to Eomer by way of 'goodnight'.
"Goodnight, lady."
"Go to hell." she muttered back.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Faulkner: Anybody feel that tension? How will Eomer and the Rohirrim take to Ratchet? And what about the battle ahead? I ain't got one single clue!
Pinky: That was Lit with My Own Worst Enemy! They aren't too bad of a band, I think.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
For the first time in a long time, Ratchet was in a good mood. She was on the open road with only her borrowed horse for company. It sort of surprised her that the Lord and Lady let her go off on her own to Gondor. But that decision had been over and done with for days now.
And her giddy mood prompted her to sing, considering her situation. Her CD player had crapped out days ago, and now the only voice that knew the songs that were frequent at her home was Ratchet herself. So, she had decided to entertain herself and her horse (AN: Singing to a horse? Now where did THAT come from??) by singing.
"Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk?
I didn't mean to call you that
I can't remember what was said or what you threw at me
Please tell me
Please tell me why
My car is in the front yard
And i'm
Sleeping with my clothes
I came in through the window
Last night
And you're gone......gone
It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
'Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me
The smoke alarm is going off and their's a cigarette
Still burning
Please tell me why
My car is in the front yard
And i'm
Sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window
Last night
And you're gone......gone
And you're gone......gone
And you're gone......gone
It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
'Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me
Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk?
I didn't mean to call you that"
She hummed the last of the chords and then fell silent. Ratchet had been on the edge of insanity from boredom all day long. Riding a horse through the countryside was all well and good for entertainment for a few days. But a week? That was stretching it a bit.
"I'm so freakin' bored." she muttered to herself. Her horse whickered. "I'll take that as agreement." Ratchet patted the tri-colored mare on the neck. "And it doesn't even help that I barely know where the hell we are. I wish I had a better map than the one they gave me."
The map in question only showed a strip of area between Lothlorien and Minas Tirith. The map lengthwise went from the Misty Mountains to the battle plain Dagorlad. Though it did put some detail in a few places, like cities and such, others were just plain areas on the piece of parchment.
"You'd think since they were immortal they would have plenty of time to make a decent map. Nutty buggers." she continued to mutter to herself.
She had pressed herself fairly hard, taking Galadriel's warning about not waiting around to heart. And judging by her pitiful map, she was a little more than halfway there. Ratchet was currently traveling along some river called the Entwash.
"I just wish something would bloody happen!" she screamed in frustration.
As is with most silly wishes, this one came true.
A slight shaking of the ground started. Small enough to only be noticed by the horse at first, who just ignored it. Then a noise like the low roll of thunder came to the beasts ears, who started to get antsy as she walked along. Soon enough even Ratchet noticed these things and started panicking.
'What if it's orcs?' she thought. 'Fighting with the Fellowship and the Elves is one thing. But alone?!' Her confidence had been shaken at Helms Deep, and a whole horde of orcs wasn't exactly a good confidence booster.
"Me and my big mouth!" she complained. Ratchet urged her mare into a gallop to try to at least get some distance between them and the 'orcs'.
As luck would have it, her mare tripped on a rock and stumbled. The horse lost her stride and her steps became uneven at best. Ratchet panicked and fell off, tumbling to the ground and badly spraining her right ankle trying to stay upright.
After Ratchet fell off, the mare regained her balance and returned to her temporary master.
"Damn horse!" The mare whickered and lowered her head to sniff at her. "Get your nose out of my face! The first time I really need your speed and you trip. Trip, I tell ya! What have I done to get such pitiful luck?!"
Ratchet tried to get back up to get back in the saddle, but fell on her butt. Her ankle was done in for a couple days at least.
She turned to look at how close her pursuers had come to them. From what she could tell from that distance, pretty much all of them were on horses. But something was definitely odd about them. Since when did orcs ride horses and wear armour that didn't look like it had been dragged through every nasty thing between the sea and the desert to the east?
'I can be such an idiot!' Ratchet slapped her forehead. 'They're humans! I am such a dummy it's not even funny. Hey, I rhymed!'
Even as she thought this, the party of Men came closer and closer. They didn't slow down and stop until they were within six feet of her.
All of them wore armour with horse decorations on them. Even their swords looked like they had some kind of horse symbol on the hilts. The one who seemed to be the leader of the group had gold inlaid into his armour. All in all, it was an impressive sight.
"Who are you, and what are doing away from your home? A lady shouldn't be out alone in these dark times." the leader said.
"Hello to you too. I'm on my way to Minas Tirith as a matter of fact." Ratchet grabbed a stirrup and pulled herself slowly onto her good foot. "My name is.... ah nevermind." She remembered seeing this guy before, but where? Not in Rivendell or Lothlorien certainly.....
The man looked at her sceptically. He looked to be about middle-age with shoulder-length blond hair that was already mostly white and a beard like Boromir had.
'No stupid, don't think of him!' she yelled at herself as she quickly concentrated on remembering where she saw him before. In an attempt to keep her mind off Boromir, she reflected that the mans hair looked like lemonade.
"Anyways, I was wondering if maybe one of you could give me a hand back up onto my horse? I sorta kinda sprained my ankle when I fell off. I'm not much of a rider." The one with the gold armour looked to the young man next to him who signalled to a soldier.
The soldier got off his lovely chesnut colored horse and walked over to her. Without even asking he grabbed her by her waist and lifted her into the saddle. Then he went back into the ranks.
"I suggest you turn around and go back the way you came. You will more than likely die in the battle that is coming." the man said gravely.
Ratchet grinned and tried to somehow ease the pain in her ankle by leaving her foot out of the stirrup.
"Not a chance. I'm no coward and I won't abandon my friends. They're counting on me to be there. I've already lost too many of them." she ended, the grin fading. "Besides, it can't be as bad as that one place was. I think it was called Helms Deep. Yeah, that's it." The men started whispering and shooting glances her way. "That was one messed up battle. Smelt pretty awful too, with those things stinking up the place. All the dead didn't help much either."
"How do you know about Helms Deep?" the young man that had signalled to the soldier asked.
"I was there, no duh." She rolled her eyes. "How else would I know about it? News certainly doesn't travel too fast around here."
The older mans eyes got kind of glassy and unfocused as he thought back to the battle. He remembered seeing the very same girl there, albeit she had been a little less thin than she was now.
"You were with the Elves, weren't you?" he asked. "I remember seeing you next to their leader, Haldir. I can't believe you survived."
"Well. Either I survived or i'm a ghost. And I think I look solid enough." She slapped her thigh for emphasis. "If that's all, i'll be on my way." Ratchet turned the mare about and started off again.
"Wait!" Ratchet stopped and looked over her shoulder to see who called. To her surprise, it was the young man that had ridden next to the old guy in charge. He spurred his horse onward and stopped next to her. "I think it would be in both our interests that you traveled with us." he said.
"What good would that do me? I travel a lot faster by myself than if I had a whole damn army behind me. Or, if I was IN the army." Rachet stated.
"But you would be protected from the orc bands that are now rallying together." he insisted.
"I can protect myself just fine thanks." Ratchet told him. She nudged the mares stomach with her good foot and started off again.
"Maybe against one or two orcs. But what about a whole band?" The young man kept his stallion alongside her.
Ratchet stopped and looked at him searchingly.
"Damn." she muttered. "FINE. You got yourself a traveling partner."
~*Nightfall*~
"Halt!"
The army from Rohan stopped and the ranks dispersed into seperate groups divided by who their captain was. Fires were lit and rations were taken from packs. Many talked quietly and others immediately went to sleep. Yet others stayed awake for their watch.
And one was complaining and being a general nuisance.
"I just HAD to say yes. Me and my big mouth." Ratchet grumbled as she ate some stale bread that was almost as hard as the rock she was sitting on. "Why do I always get myself into these things?"
Eomer, the young man who had convinced her to travel with them, sat next to her and found her grumblings funny.
"Why do you talk to yourself like that?" he asked her suddenly.
She glared balefully at him. "Because it keeps me sane."
"Why? Do you have a reason to be going insane?"
Ratchet groaned and rolled her eyes. "Yes, as a matter of fact. You Rohirrim are driving me up the wall. I'm going absolutely batty over here."
Eomer's eyes widened. "What have we done?"
"As far as I know, you were born. You nutty people are always getting into trouble. First, the thing at Helms Deep, second, conning me into joining you. And third, you just HAD to get all hero-like on me and go after that orc band. I'm never going to get the stench out of my clothes! Not to mention my poor backpack!"
Indeed, her backpack was a muddy mess that everyone was surprised to see was still in one piece. Sort of.
They had run across a band of orcs traveling in the same direction as them. The result, a few cuts, one dead man, an extra horse, and a filthy and very grumpy Ratchet.
"It will just be a few more orcs that won't bother us at the battle ahead." Eomer consoled.
"Pish. Yeah, whatever." She finished her bread piece and laid down next to her pack on the hard ground. "If i'm unlucky enough i'll see you in the morning." she mumbled to Eomer by way of 'goodnight'.
"Goodnight, lady."
"Go to hell." she muttered back.
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Faulkner: Anybody feel that tension? How will Eomer and the Rohirrim take to Ratchet? And what about the battle ahead? I ain't got one single clue!
Pinky: That was Lit with My Own Worst Enemy! They aren't too bad of a band, I think.