Faulkner: YES!! IT HAS COME!! CHAPTER 24!!!! Sorry it's taken so long, but
you know how life starts gettin' ya in trouble and you get caught up in
things. Also lost my ROTK book, so that didn't help matters much. Now don't
start whining because YES, this IS a short chapter. But all the action
stuff will be in the next one, as soon as I get it up.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The next thing Ratchet knew she was being shaken awake. When she cracked her eyes open, she could make out Eomer's face in the darkness.
"Wake up! We must make haste to Gondor! All the others are nearly ready. We march in a few minutes." Wearily, she got up and tried to stretch all the kinks out of her muscles.
'Just wait. I'm gonna seriously bash some heads in for all this crap i'm havin' to go through.' she thought to herself as she re-saddled Louie the mare. 'And after that i'm gonna get so fuckin' smashed. Never been drunk before, but I sure hope it helps me relax.'
And so saying, she gathered up her stuff and tied it to her saddle. She rejoined the main force and saw the same strange short guy that the king had walked off with. On closer inspection, his skin looked leathery and he wore only some sort of loincloth and had a scraggly beard of sorts. He looked like some sort of gnome to her. Maybe that's what he was, but she didn't feel like asking.
"We will follow Ghan-buri-Ghan through the paths that he and his people have discovered. The orcs have taken the main roads, more than we can hope to fight without being delayed for too long a time." Eomer informed her. She just nodded stupidly and rubbed at her eyes to get the sleep out of them.
As they started out in long lines, with the gnome-like man walking next to the kings horse, they followed some trail that was hidden to them. The trail went through the forest and at one point on a ledge in a ravine where they had to go in single file, or else risk falling to sure death. But otherwise it was a fairly boring trip.
Ratchet was in a half-doze, her eyes nearly closed and occaisonally she did really fall asleep. But then Louie would jerk suddenly and her head would shoot back up, looking for danger.
"I swear, i'm never getting into another war as long as I live. God help me if I ever do. Lucky to be alive as is." she mumbled to herself. "And now i'm stuck with a bunch of horse-loving neanderthols. Could this get ANY worse?"
It was still terribly dark, the sky darker than dark. If she looked straight forward and squinted her eyes just a little she could make out the dark outline of a volcano that looked like it was going to erupt any minute. It reminded her of the movies her science teacher Mrs.Konatske would let them watch at times.
"It's Vesuvius all over again. A Middle-earthian re-enactment of Pompeii."
And so they travelled on. They were forced to eat a small lunch since the King ("in all his infinite wisdom" Ratchet muttered darkly) decided that they had to keep moving. Morale was on a scale of one to ten, negative two. Anyone who had at least a semblance of a brain knew that a big fight was coming and it sure as hell wasn't going to be pretty. Not in the least.
"Here in this diary
I write you visions of my Quest
It was the worst I ever had
There were battles and lost loves
And that unspoken feeling of knowing
That you might be dead tomorrow
All the nights we stayed up walking
Listening to my crappy singing
And quoting deep cliches that
Wizards are always saying
It still brings a smile to my face
I guess when it comes down to it
Being dead isn't half as fun as staying alive
These are the suckiest days of our lives
The only thing that matters is just keeping all your limbs
And eventually you might still be sane
Breaking into private bedrooms
And wreaking havoc in Elven-realms
Hanging out at rivers
Just to pass the time
The nightingales singing me to sleep
Lighting up pipes in old mines
Illuminate the darkest spots
Sharing stories under this deep dark sky
2015 Rivendell, it's time to say goodbye
Get with the Fellowship, it's time to go
Being dead isn't half as fun as staying alive
These are the suckiest days of our lives
The only thing that matters is just keeping all your limbs
And eventually you might still be sane
(Still be sane)
Being dead isn't half as fun as staying alive
These are the suckiest days of our lives
The only thing that matters is just keeping all your limbs
And eventually you might still be sane....."
Ratchet cracked a grin at her parody of 'In This Diary' by the Ataris. It was by far one of her best on-the-spot renditions. Also her only on-the- spot rendition.
"I've gotta write that one down. I just hope I remember it." she joked. But the only person who heard and understood it was her. "This war business is pretty lonely. I hope the guys are all right. They better not be doing anything stupid without me."
And just as Louie grunted her agreement, they crested a rise and saw the nearly completely ruined city of Minas Tirith. Orcs were nearly swarming over the something fields (Ratchet couldn't remember what the heck Boromir had called them) and some sort of giant sling-shots were near to the destroyed walls.
"Oh my dear sweet Lord in Heaven." she breathed. "That can't be a good thing."
War-cries erupted around her as the Riders of Rohan urged their massive steeds forward for the kill. Ratchet could only do the same as she was swept along with the warriors.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Faulkner: Yes, that really was "In This Diary" by the Ataris. There are a few of the lines that weren't tweaked by me, but only a few. I don't think it looks too bad for a literally 'on-the-spot' parody. I call my masterpiece, "In This War" by moi, Faulkner! Anyone can use this song as long as they ask me first and tell me where it's at and give me credit for it. Lord knows why anyone would want to borrow it though. And if I DO catch anyone using it without permission, they'll find the CIA on their ass so fast their heads'll be spinnin'. I don't think it's such a hard task to ask before using. I'm not being unreasonable here.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The next thing Ratchet knew she was being shaken awake. When she cracked her eyes open, she could make out Eomer's face in the darkness.
"Wake up! We must make haste to Gondor! All the others are nearly ready. We march in a few minutes." Wearily, she got up and tried to stretch all the kinks out of her muscles.
'Just wait. I'm gonna seriously bash some heads in for all this crap i'm havin' to go through.' she thought to herself as she re-saddled Louie the mare. 'And after that i'm gonna get so fuckin' smashed. Never been drunk before, but I sure hope it helps me relax.'
And so saying, she gathered up her stuff and tied it to her saddle. She rejoined the main force and saw the same strange short guy that the king had walked off with. On closer inspection, his skin looked leathery and he wore only some sort of loincloth and had a scraggly beard of sorts. He looked like some sort of gnome to her. Maybe that's what he was, but she didn't feel like asking.
"We will follow Ghan-buri-Ghan through the paths that he and his people have discovered. The orcs have taken the main roads, more than we can hope to fight without being delayed for too long a time." Eomer informed her. She just nodded stupidly and rubbed at her eyes to get the sleep out of them.
As they started out in long lines, with the gnome-like man walking next to the kings horse, they followed some trail that was hidden to them. The trail went through the forest and at one point on a ledge in a ravine where they had to go in single file, or else risk falling to sure death. But otherwise it was a fairly boring trip.
Ratchet was in a half-doze, her eyes nearly closed and occaisonally she did really fall asleep. But then Louie would jerk suddenly and her head would shoot back up, looking for danger.
"I swear, i'm never getting into another war as long as I live. God help me if I ever do. Lucky to be alive as is." she mumbled to herself. "And now i'm stuck with a bunch of horse-loving neanderthols. Could this get ANY worse?"
It was still terribly dark, the sky darker than dark. If she looked straight forward and squinted her eyes just a little she could make out the dark outline of a volcano that looked like it was going to erupt any minute. It reminded her of the movies her science teacher Mrs.Konatske would let them watch at times.
"It's Vesuvius all over again. A Middle-earthian re-enactment of Pompeii."
And so they travelled on. They were forced to eat a small lunch since the King ("in all his infinite wisdom" Ratchet muttered darkly) decided that they had to keep moving. Morale was on a scale of one to ten, negative two. Anyone who had at least a semblance of a brain knew that a big fight was coming and it sure as hell wasn't going to be pretty. Not in the least.
"Here in this diary
I write you visions of my Quest
It was the worst I ever had
There were battles and lost loves
And that unspoken feeling of knowing
That you might be dead tomorrow
All the nights we stayed up walking
Listening to my crappy singing
And quoting deep cliches that
Wizards are always saying
It still brings a smile to my face
I guess when it comes down to it
Being dead isn't half as fun as staying alive
These are the suckiest days of our lives
The only thing that matters is just keeping all your limbs
And eventually you might still be sane
Breaking into private bedrooms
And wreaking havoc in Elven-realms
Hanging out at rivers
Just to pass the time
The nightingales singing me to sleep
Lighting up pipes in old mines
Illuminate the darkest spots
Sharing stories under this deep dark sky
2015 Rivendell, it's time to say goodbye
Get with the Fellowship, it's time to go
Being dead isn't half as fun as staying alive
These are the suckiest days of our lives
The only thing that matters is just keeping all your limbs
And eventually you might still be sane
(Still be sane)
Being dead isn't half as fun as staying alive
These are the suckiest days of our lives
The only thing that matters is just keeping all your limbs
And eventually you might still be sane....."
Ratchet cracked a grin at her parody of 'In This Diary' by the Ataris. It was by far one of her best on-the-spot renditions. Also her only on-the- spot rendition.
"I've gotta write that one down. I just hope I remember it." she joked. But the only person who heard and understood it was her. "This war business is pretty lonely. I hope the guys are all right. They better not be doing anything stupid without me."
And just as Louie grunted her agreement, they crested a rise and saw the nearly completely ruined city of Minas Tirith. Orcs were nearly swarming over the something fields (Ratchet couldn't remember what the heck Boromir had called them) and some sort of giant sling-shots were near to the destroyed walls.
"Oh my dear sweet Lord in Heaven." she breathed. "That can't be a good thing."
War-cries erupted around her as the Riders of Rohan urged their massive steeds forward for the kill. Ratchet could only do the same as she was swept along with the warriors.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Faulkner: Yes, that really was "In This Diary" by the Ataris. There are a few of the lines that weren't tweaked by me, but only a few. I don't think it looks too bad for a literally 'on-the-spot' parody. I call my masterpiece, "In This War" by moi, Faulkner! Anyone can use this song as long as they ask me first and tell me where it's at and give me credit for it. Lord knows why anyone would want to borrow it though. And if I DO catch anyone using it without permission, they'll find the CIA on their ass so fast their heads'll be spinnin'. I don't think it's such a hard task to ask before using. I'm not being unreasonable here.