Disclaimer: I don't own the movie Miss Congeniality. For those who have seen the movie, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about without even having to read it.
The Supreme Martial Arts Tournament
The Fighters' Dining Hall
All the tournament participants were joined at one dining table, celebrating each fighter's effort and skill, sitting peacefully at a meal. As usual, Goku and Gohan were inhaling their food at an impossibly fast pace.
"I swear; they're not even human!" Bulma exclaimed, exasperated.
Mie smirked. Gohan was too busy eating to notice.
Yamcha studied Roshi over his plate. The Turtle Hermit was barely picking at his food. "Master, what's wrong?"
"Oh, I just have something on my mind."
Tien had a thought, and realized Roshi's discomfort likely stemmed from the two of them. "Has it something to do with us? Would you like us to leave?"
"Yes, it has to do with you. And no, I enjoy your company."
"Then what is it, Master Roshi?" Chaotzu inquired.
Roshi put his fork down. "Just how did you two ever bow to so false a Master as Crane? I don't understand it. You seem pure-hearted enough."
"We owed Crane a great debt…" Tien began, then hesitated. He looked at his friend and closest companion, Chaotzu. Chaotzu nodded reassuringly, telling him to continue. Yamcha thought this strange; he had thought Tien leaded the twosome.
Tien took a moment to organize his thoughts, then started his tale. "Chaotzu wasn't always a fighter, and I hadn't always been a thief…"
The Empire of Szukah
"Emperor, Szukahla, our blessed capital, is under attack. I ask permission for the imperial armies to surround the palace and halt any intruder attempting to take your life, my beloved emperor!"
The young emperor looked down from his throne, a simple piece carved of wood. He was not one for overly ornate. The throne was elegant in the fineness of its craftsmanship. Yes, think of the chair; better than thinking of the genocide his people had suffered. All who lived had fled here as the Szaybahn armies advanced. Their own soldiers were poor defense.
He pondered, and smiled. "Permission denied, general."
"But, m'lord!"
"A leader is the servant of the people. Open the doors and let them find sanctuary. Then you may surround the palace and guard it, for you shall be guarding the empire's most sacred treasures – its people."
"But, Lord – anyone can sneak through! It will be a small matter for an enemy to steal and garb himself in the clothing of your people. How can I guarantee your safety, Lord?"
"My loyal guard can protect me from all threats, nor am I entirely defenseless."
The guard glanced up, dubiously. Emperor Chaotzu was but a child of ten, and he scarcely believed that the Lord had any sort of telepathy despite the stories, any more than his mother had – rest her soul! – though there were similar stories about her. At least Tien was here to guard him; he was truly a skilled and courageous warrior, despite his own youth. Tien was a scant fifteen years, but he was able. He would have surprise in his favor, when battle came.
The guard left, unable to do anything but obey.
"He doubts you, Emperor."
"I am aware of this, Tien. Was it not I who taught you to read the mind like a book?"
"Yes, Lord."
"Why do you shield your mind from me?"
"I do not wish to disturb you, Emperor."
"Do so anyway."
Tien reluctantly disclosed his mind to Chaotzu. The young emperor saw great worry there, to match an equally great enemy.
"You do not believe we can win."
"No, lord. Out soldiers cannot match them. We have long lived in peace; none have seen war for eight generations."
"This is true, and warning came to late. We can only do our best, and I shall send for help. Tien, will you ride for it? Summon help quickly; I know you can do it."
"No."
"No?"
"No. I know what you are planning, emperor. You are planning on sparing my life because I am your friend, and you want me to live. So while I go for help you stay behind and die when the Szaybahn slaughter your people. I will not do it. If any are to ride for help, it shall be you. No one would suspect a child of being an emperor; we kept up propaganda that your father yet lives."
"I will not abandon my people."
"And I will not abandon you. You are my people. Please tell me you understand."
Chaotzu nodded. "I do. I truly do. But we must prepare. Which regiments remain?"
Chaotzu and Tien talked long into the night, discussing strategy and found one suitable for their needs. Perhaps, if this many soldiers were placed here by that time…at most they could hold for a few days.
If only we could make treaty with them, Chaotzu wished. But the terms were too harsh. If Chaotzu surrendered his people would be enslaved; there were no other terms. Chaotzu had tried – without Tien knowing, no easy feat – to offer his own life in exchange for his people's freedom. But the Szaybahn refused. It was so strange. Once they had been great allies, and better friends. Why did they suddenly turn on us? Chaotzu cried out to the gods. Why, when we have done nothing to them?
Days passed, nights fled. Food and water had to be carefully conserved. Chaotzu had sent out messengers – young children all, not truly expecting any sort of help to arrive in time. In small groups he arranged for his people to escape through the mountain passes none but the royal families knew of. It was only a matter of time until an enemy spy found them, and they had no time for security if the people were to flee in time. Chaotzu worried and did his best to cloud the Szaybahn minds. It was as though they were being blocked, or protected from some higher being. No, that felt wrong. But Chaotzu knew in his heart that a powerful psychic was aiding them. In time the enemy would realize a fellow psychic dwelled among the Szukah. More time would pass until he realized the emperor was one that psychic and dug out all his inner thoughts instead of the lies he kept on his surface-mind.
Days passed, then hope arrived.
"M'lord Emperor!" a young boy called out, only twelve. Only twelve, Chaotzu thought with a grin. A whole two years older than me!
"Yes, my son, what troubles you?"
The boy gasped then crouched before Chaotzu in a bow. "Nothing, Lord, but good news! I have found a rescuer. These two gentlemen are fierce warriors, lord. I saw them battle with mine own eyes! Fierce as lions, they are!"
The boy's eyes shone in excitement as he recalled their battle. Chaotzu delved into his mind, scanning the battle through the lad's eyes.
"The took out twenty soldiers apiece as though they were nothing!"
"And who are these great and deadly men, my son?"
"Sir Tou Pai Pai and Sir Crane, m'lord."
"Bring them here."
"Yes, Lord!" The boy hurriedly left the room. Chaotzu frowned – two men with such strength? It seemed very unlikely. But Chaotzu had learned in his short years nothing was impossible. Perhaps Fate had sent his kingdom a second chance. He would see these two men and test them. He could not entrust them with his peoples' lives until he could trust in them but also in their ability.
The boy reentered the throne room, followed by two men. "Lord, might I present Sir Tou Pai Pai and Sir Crane."
"It is an honor to meet you both," Chaotzu said courteously.
"Yes, Lord. But let us get down to business. We will save the nation Szukah, but for a price," Crane began.
"And what price do you require?"
"We are not sure yet, Emperor. When we see what you have to offer, we shall set a price, if it suits us," Tou Pai Pai said arrogantly.
Chaotzu's eyes glittered. These were mercenaries, but what they asked was not unreasonable, merely undoable. Everything had gone into protecting Szukah. He had little left to offer.
"I have gold and valuables-"
"Which mean nothing to us," Tou Pai Pai interrupted.
Crane looked around. "I'll tell you what, Emperor. We will save your people, and choose our price. Time is of the essence, I believe. You need to decide quickly."
"And you could take anything? I think not. You may have none of my people as slaves, nor what food and water that is needed for life. We retain the minimum required for a year's sustenance and harvest, with some surplus on both counts. I will not free my people from one group merely to be entrapped in or starved by another for the sake of debt and gratitude."
"Very well, such must be sufficient," Crane sounded annoyed. "Let us sign it in contract."
Chaotzu summoned Tien telepathically. He stepped out behind the curtains holding pen and parchment.
Chaotzu held up his hand, telling Tien to stop. He could have conveyed this mentally but he did not want these mercenaries to know of his abilities. "First, allow me to test you. Tien, will you oblique us in a demonstration with these two gentlemen?"
"Yes, Lord."
"Very well, Emperor. If you insist. We will not hurt your boy, forgive me – man, too badly."
Tien ignored the blatant insult and readied himself in fighting stance after setting the parchment before Chaotzu.
Crane attacked first. Tien barely had time to dodge, but was struck from behind by Tou. Soon all he could do was block and evade against these two deadly foes. When he attacked one, the other attacked him. He concentrated his efforts on Tou to see how they would react. He glimpsed a pattern from Crane and managed to evade a good many attacks before the man changed tactics to suit. Meanwhile, he hadn't landed a single blow to Tou. The man blocked everything he threw.
Tien braced himself and leapt high in the air, aiming a kick at Crane's head, hoping for a momentary surprise advantage. It didn't work. Tou grabbed his ankle and slammed him to the ground, hard. He then went forward with elbow bent to attack his neck.
"Enough!" Chaotzu commanded. "Your skill is evident."
That was an understatement. Tien was bathed in a fine sheen of sweat while the other two didn't even pant or breathe more harshly. They hadn't exerted themselves at all.
"Perhaps," Tou strutted, "A demonstration against each other would be more effective."
"Such is not necessary. Here is the contract. My signature is here. YOU two may sign here and here, and Tien will sign to witness."
They signed the parchment and Crane and Tou Pai Pai went off to work, belittling their strategy as "good but ineffectual".
"To make a long story short, not only did they defeat the Szaybahn, but they attacked the nation and freed those of my people whom had been enslaved. In return they asked for two pupils to add to their school – myself, and Tien. Although I had tried to hide my abilities, Master Crane became aware of them. And both were impressed that Tien managed to last as well as he did. They pointed out that under the contract, only my people were protected, not myself. And of course, Tien was one of my people but he agreed to join the school so as not to leave my side," Chaotzu finished.
"And how did you become a part of the school? What I mean is, were any rites or inductions performed?" Mie queried.
"We were taken to a desert area and led into a strange building. I don't remember much else," Tien answered.
"Nor I."
"Well, that's quite a tale," Roshi said. "I'm sorry I dug so deep into your past. It is no wonder you joined the Crane School. But I still don't understand how you two became so twisted, despite your environment."
"I suppose Crane slipped past our mental defenses. It is the only answer I can think of, unless I am trying to hide from my own faults," the former emperor offered.
"No; you wouldn't hide from your faults. You'd correct them," Gohan offered.
"Thank you for your confidence in us," Chaotzu said.
Bulma yawned and stretched her arms. "It's late. It think I'll go to bed. You guys should too. We've got a big fight tomorrow."
"Yes. Good luck Gohan. May the best fighter win," Mie said.
"And to you. I wont hold anything back. I saw how you pummeled my fa-" Gohan cut off mid-word and pretended to yawn. He quickly finished his sentence: "My friend Goku."
Mie smiled but didn't seem to notice his slip. Gohan realized he must really be tired to nearly make such a mistake and he too, headed off for some shut-eye.
Gohan reached the room he shared with Krillian, Yamcha and Goku. Not bothering to turn on a light, he stumbled over to the bed nearest the window and pulled back the covers and made to crawl in.
"Nervous about the big fight?" the bed spoke.
Gohan blinked. Beds didn't speak. He reached over and turned on the lamp on the nightstand to find the bed already occupied. "Sorry. I didn't realize someone else was here. I thought everyone was still at dinner."
"I was sleepy so I came here. But I don't mind. So, how do you feel?"
"Okay, I guess. What happens happens. I'll just do my best, and that's all I can do."
"Yeah, that's true. Do you really like fighting?"
"Well, I've never really battled for sport before today. It's so different. All the stress and fear is gone. I do my best, but I'm grateful I'm not pushed into doing better than my best."
"You've been in real battles already?"
"Yeah."
"I've been in battles, too. They were fun."
"Fun? You mean you weren't afraid?"
"Why should I be?"
"Weren't you afraid you would lose?"
"No. I just did my best, that's all."
"But what if you lost. What would have happened?"
"I don't know. I've never lost before, in a real battle. I guess I'd just train to get stronger, next time."
"Don't you realize that if you lose a battle, there may never be a next time?"
"Then I'll die knowing I've done my best to protect my friends. I only fight people who hurt others."
"But if you fight to protect, you can't afford to fail. You're friends or whoever your fighting for will die. Don't you understand that?"
"Why are you so afraid? Death is a part of life. And if you can't defeat a powerful bad person, eventually someone will come along who can."
"And in that time, how many people will suffer?"
"Why are you so afraid?"
"You've never been pushed beyond your limits, have you? Not really."
"What do you mean?"
"Have you ever faced an enemy so powerful, you knew you would never defeat him? And that when you failed, he would go after everything and everyone you love? That he would conquer and destroy, kill and enslave? And that anyone who had the potential to even topple that tyrant would be killed at birth or in childhood?"
"No."
"What would you do, in that situation?"
"I don't know… But I know what I wouldn't do."
"And what is that?"
"Give up."
Dawn crept over the windowsill to find an already awake Gohan, meditating in the early morning rays. He had been thinking about everything his father had said last night. If he hadn't given up against Nappa, maybe, just maybe his friends wouldn't have died. Not giving up was what had allowed him to win in the end against Frieza. Even though his friends and family were all off planet, they were still at Frieza's whim had the being survived. That made him desperate. And in turn, that desperation fueled his strength.
So long as he didn't lose hope, he could face and win any battle that life brought him.
"You know, you should really lighten up before a match. It's just for fun," Yamcha roused and said. With that, he threw a pillow at Gohan's face.
Which he dodged. Which then hit Goku. Who awoke, and starting throwing his pillows at Krillian, thinking the monk was the culprit. Suddenly pillows were flying everywhere. Finally, after a good ten minutes, the dust settled. The fight was over.
The end result? A room filled with feathers, pillowcases and laughing students of the Turtle Hermit School in various stages of dress.
The casualties? Thirty-eight pillows, four aching sides, three sore heads, and a bruised ego from when Master Roshi walked in getting feathers in his mouth when he tried to yell. He hadn't bopped Gohan though; but he promised to after his match.
Finally, the match was at hand. Gohan knotted his sash around his gi and stepped out into the sunlight. On the other side of the arch, Mie was doing the same.
Mike was out on the floor, hyping up the crowd – not that they needed it. Finally, he announced the contestant's names. They nodded to each other and walked calmly out to what would become their battlefield, and stood on opposite sides of the ring.
"Ready…" Mike hurriedly backed off the concrete. "Fight!"
Gohan and Mie crouched down and circled, probing for a weakness. They knew the other had power, and skill. It was a contest of wills. And then Gohan attacked, which surprised Mie because before he had always waited for the other to attack. Gohan had also noted that Mie had both attacked and defended herself on the opening bout of her two matches, so she was capable of both. He hoped to throw Mie off with his change of tactics, however slightly. In this match, every advantage would count.
If she was surprised, she recovered too quickly for anyone to notice. Gohan punched and Mie blocked with her left forearm. Gohan seemed to hover in midair. From that one move alone, the audience knew how grand a fight this would be. The noise resounded across the stadium, and a tiny fissure appeared in the concrete directly below where the two had met.
For several minutes there was a whirlwind of punches that the audience could only follow by watching cracks spider-out in the arena. The two stayed in one place exchanging blows that assaulted the ears before punching the other in the face and flying back a few feet. Neither smiled. Neither was even hurt.
Mie kicked high with her left to Gohan's neck. He ducked under and punched with his right at her stomach. She leaned back to dodge while bringing her left leg down on Gohan's shoulder. It struck and he used his right leg to swipe at Mie's to bring her to the ground. She hit and rolled and went to kick his legs, but he blocked with his right foot. She pushed off and back flipped back onto her feet while Gohan lunged with an attack. It grazed Mie's cheek but she caught his outstretched arm and flipped him over her shoulder. He managed to land feet first and grabbed her arms in a stranglehold. She tried to break loose by repeatedly jamming her elbows into his face, but he shifted his grip so her arms were trapped behind her back.
Mie suddenly pushed back with her feet so all her weight was on Gohan. He was startled and stumbled back, accidentally relaxing his grip on Mie's arms; just enough for her to "S.I.N.G."
She elbowed him in the solar plexus, hard enough to make him loosen his grip a little more. She quickly followed up by stomping on the inside step of his foot. He merely shifted it a bit to the side, as opposed to hopping up and down in pain as Mie had hoped.
Before she even completed the thought her fist came up and smacked him in the nose. His head jerked back from the force of it and he completely released her arms, so she went to hit him in the forbidden zone with her right fist while attacking his solar plexus again this time with her left elbow.
Gohan ignored the attack to his groin – if she completed it she would be disqualified, and he knew Mie was aware of this. It was a move to both distract and make him flinch away. Luckily for him, she stopped short when he didn't call her bluff, instead grabbing the offending elbow with both hands. She hit his thigh with her left fist while he trapped her right with his palm, holding her with one hand. Gohan brought his leg up and kneed Mie in the back, sending her sprawling a few feet, but she hopped back up in no time and phased out of sight.
Gohan didn't turn around, and instead put his arm out as though to block an invisible attack. And then Mie appeared, fist having connected with Gohan's arm.
The Stands
Roshi watched the battle with intense interest. The combatants' Ki had been steadily increasing since the first punch. Their energies were so enormous, mind-numbingly powerful. And Roshi could sense it was only the beginning of their power. Already they were almost more than ten thousand times stronger than Tien and Goku. Their power was just off the scale.
The Arena
Mie and Gohan danced around the ring, disappearing and reappearing at will, or so it seemed to the audience.
"Amazing, ladies and gentlemen! That's pure speed! They're moving so fast we can't even follow it, like those old magic tricks, the hand is quicker than the eye." Mike gulped, the chuckled nervously. "Of course, that was just the hand. Hey, guys, you haven't shown up for a while. Mind stopping for a bit so we can see you?"
Neither finalist heard him, but appear they did. Gohan's back was to the edge, and Mie was pummeling him with her fist. He blocked every one with his arms, ducked under her next blow and they phased to the middle of the ring.
They squared off against each other; then Gohan relaxed his stance. Mie knew better than to underestimate and attack, so she too relaxed.
"Enough of a warm up?" she asked.
"Yeah, let's take this fight seriously now."
"Fine by me," Mie replied and charged towards Gohan, but actually attacking with a Ki ball. Her arms had been behind her back so Gohan couldn't see it coming. Nevertheless, he deflected it. Mie continued to send Ki attacks his way as she ran towards him, and Gohan just kept knocking them into the air.
Mie was in close now and punched Gohan with her left fist, which he smacked out of the way and sent the Ki ball in her left hand flying into the air. They stayed still for a minute, smirking.
"Oh, no! That's going to hit a plane!" someone from the audience yelled.
The two looked up, terrified, before Gohan phased out and back again in the air, between the airplane and the Ki ball, sending it back to the ground in Mie's direction.
She sent a Ki around the one headed towards her and blocked that one with her hand. The explosion was enough to blind her, so she didn't see the other Ki attack headed back her way as well. It struck her in the torso, and she fell down, the floor cracking from the impact.
Gohan landed next to her and kicked her in the side, sending her off into the field surrounding the arena. Just in time her foot connected with the ground and she was back up, flying his way with a powerful double-fisted combination. As they exchanged punches they flew higher and higher into the air.
Gohan used the solar flare technique, which Mie countered with a reflection technique. Gohan turned around so as not to be blinded and was rewarded with pain blossoming on his right shoulder blade and singed gi, the results of a Ki attack. He quickly turned back to face Mie and saw another Ki ball headed in his path. He grasped it in his hands and used its momentum to flip fully in midair and send it back at Mie. She wasn't expecting it and it hit her in the cheek. She raised enough of a Ki shield to lessen the impact.
Gohan had flipped back down to the surface to avoid Mie's counter-attack, so she dove after him. He hit the ground and jumped back up. Their forearms collided in midair, but Gohan was tumbling back, having used very little power compared to Mie, and she followed intent on knocking him out of the ring. She grasped his shoulders with her hands and pushed down so he would land on the grass. He was perilously close when he grinned and punched up his Ki on the right side of his body, but not the other, so that they flipped and Mie hit the ground instead. Gohan quickly levitated so the judges would be clear on what happened.
"Ladies and gentlemen, what an upset! Mie has landed outside the ring, and thus young Son Gohan is the new Supreme Martial Arts Champ-iii-ooonn!!!
(A/N) Out of curiosity, does anyone know the real story behind Chaotzu and Tien? I remember reading from several sources that Chaotzu was an emperor, so how did he end up where he did? And what about Tien?