Shayken Destiny: Every time, I promise that I will update sooner, and every time, I don't. _.

Y. Bakura: Haha!

Shayken Destiny:  Anyways, I'll just update whenever I can.

Yami: Which would be today, I hope.

Y. Marik: Obviously, since she's talking right now, baka.

Yami: Baka?!  Who're you calling baka, baka?!

Y. Marik: Baka!

Yami: Baka!

Y. Bakura: You're both bakas!!! (3 yamis get into anime fight)

Shayken Destiny: -_- *sigh* How am I supposed to work with a cast like this?  Oh well.  The fic must go on!  And here's the disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh!, the three bakas, Ninja Gaiden, or Nintendo.

Note: In the phone conversation, things in italics are heard only in the background.

Chapter 5: Phone Calls and Casualties

Yami: CRAZY EIGHTS!!!!  (throws cards in air)

Y. Marik: Ha ha!  You shall not steal my cards this time, Tombrobber!!!

Yami: (Tackles Y. Marik) All the cards shall be mine!!!!

Y. Bakura: (runs by and snatches cards from them) Hahaha!  You fools!  I shall possess all the cards!!!!  (runs to other side of table, holds cards over the middle of the table and waves them around to taunt Y. Marik)

*Ring* *Ring*

Yami: Aah!  The telephone! (goes to kitchen and answers it) Hello?

Yugi: Yami? It's us.

Y, Bakura: Yami!  You gotta see this!  The tombkeeper's going crazy!

Yami: Oh, hi hikari.  How are you?

Yugi: Is that Y. Bakura?

Yami: Yes. (turns away from phone) Y. Bakura ,keep it down!  I'm on the phone!  

Yugi: I'm just checking in to make sure that everything's okay.

Y. Marik: MINE!!!!  YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yami: Why wouldn't everything be fine?

(CRASH)

Yugi: Well, the T.V. . . . .

Y. Marik: Hehehe . . . miiiiiine . . .

Yami: Yugi, the evil box got exactly what it deserved.

Yugi: *rolls eyes*

Yami: Anyways, I gotta go.  Have a good time!

Yugi: (waiting on phone)

Yami: (in background) Hmm, now how do you hang this thing up again . . . . *long pause of silence* Stupid phone!!!!

Yugi: -_- Yami, just put it back on the hook.

Yami: Oh, Yugi, didn't realize you were still there  . . . okay I got it now.  Bye.

Yugi: (hangs up phone and turns to face Ryou and Marik)

Ryou: Well?

Yugi: Ra help us all.

Yami: (finally hangs up phone, goes into dining room)

Y. Marik: (standing in middle of room stroking cards)

Y. Bakura: (under wreckage of dining room table)  x_x

Yami: O.O Y. Marik, what did you do???!!!!

Y. Marik: Hehehe my cards . . . ^_^

Y. Bakura: (gets up) Y. Marik jumped on the table trying to get the cards.

Yami: (turns to Y. Marik) O_O You BROKE THE TABLE???!!!!  YUGI'S GONNA KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!

Y. Marik: (looks at smashed table as if for first time) Oops.

Yami: -_-

Y. Marik: These stupid tables are far too flimsy.  The ones back in Egypt were much nicer.

Yami: (through gritted teeth) That's because those were made of stone and these are made of wood!!!!!

Y. Marik: Ooh . . . I guess that would make a difference.  (turns toward table) But it was a brave table, a valiant table, that gave its life in the line of duty.  A casualty in the war of cards, we shall always remember it.  T_T

Y. Bakura and Yami: O.O

Yami: Well, I guess nobody really won, because I had to take a phone call.

Y. Bakura: (stares at cards, suddenly gets a 'fun' idea.  Jumps up, grabs cards from Y. Marik, and runs to the living room)

Y. Marik: Hey!  Come back here!!!! (chases him.)

Yami: Oh Ra, here we go again! (follows)

Y. Bakura: (stands on couch) AH HAHAHAHA!!!!  TRY AND FACE ME, YOU FOOLS!!!!!!!!!

Y. Marik: (takes a step closer)

Y. Bakura: (throws card like throwing star, hits Y. Marik)

Y. Marik: HEY!

Y. Bakura: MUHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!  FEAR ME!!!!  I AM RYU HAYABUSA*, THE GREAT NINJA WARRIOR!!!!!!  NO ONE CAN STAND AGAINST MY DEADLY THROWING STARS!!!!  (begins throwing cards left and right.)

Yami: (ducking) I TOLD Ryou it was a mistake to let him play that Ninja Gaiden* game on the old Nintendo* system!!!!!!  Do something, Y. Marik!!!!!

Y. Marik: Okay!  (Picks up a glass of water from coffee table and douses Y. Bakura)

The instant the water hit, Y. Bakura's face changed from manically smiling to calm, slightly annoyed, and a little embarrassed at getting completely carried away.

Yami: Well, that wasn't quite what I meant, Y. Marik, but it worked.

Y. Marik: HAHAHA!!!!!  The stupid Tombrobber's hair is drooping!!!!!!  I KNEW you were lying when you said you didn't use hair gel!!!!!

Y. Bakura: (stands on couch soaking wet, hair flopping in his face, and glares at Y.Marik.)  I don't use hair gel!  It always falls down like this when it's wet.  That's why I don't go swimming!!!!!  Thanks to you, I'm going to go dry off now. (leaves room as calmly as he can to retain some of his dignity.)

Yami: Did you see the look on his face?!  It was priceless!!!!!

Y. Marik: (snickers) Well, we had to do something!  His hair was casualty #2.

And so, as Y. Marik and Yami laughed, Y. Bakura was having some difficulties with the towel . . .

Shayken Destiny: I'll save the towel part for next week. 

Y. Bakura: What towel part?  Why am I having trouble with a towel?

Shayken Destiny: You'll find out soon enough.  Muhahahaha!

Yugi:  Fantastic.  Another opportunity for them to break something.

Shayjken Destiny: Oh, the table was ugly anyways.

Yami: RYOU, NEVER LET YOUR YAMI NEAR THOSE VIDEO GAMES EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!

Ryou: YOU try living with a psychotic yami.  At least they keep him busy for a few hours so I can do my homework and he doesn't get into trouble!

Shayken Destiny: Thanks to everyone who reviewed last time!

Sakurelle: Snickers contains sugar and sugar and idiotic yamis do not mix . . .which makes it more fun, of course . . .

Zero84: I'm glad you like it, I've never tried writing humor before.

MalletWielderofDoom: House party?  Interesting idea . . . . I'll have to think about it.  AH!  THE MALLET!!!!  DON'T LET IT GET ME!!!!!  ^_~

Dark-Sephy: Sugar-high yamis are always fun.  Especially when it comes in the form of ice cream . . . I also like the sacrifice part.  I got the idea from Una1.

The Legendary Shiniimegami: Glad you think it's funny!  I try.  Hope you think this chapter is good too.

Paladin Dragoon: The commercial was much fun to write, it just randomly popped into my head. ^_^

Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: I figured leave it to Yami to come up with something crazy for rules.  Did you enjoy this chapter as well?