Faulkner: Thank you all for your patience! I made it alive to Kentucky,
with my whole damn zoo in the car. All I have to say about it is this:
Motels suck ass, there are four bastards in Arkansas that nearly killed us
in their cars, Toad Suck Park and Bucksnort are stupid names, and this one
lady wanted $5.49 for a regular grilled cheese sandwich. Anyways, enjoy
this chapter! Sorry it took so long. It took a couple days to set the
computer up. THEN, the damn internet decided to not work!!!
Pinky: Moving sucks ass!!!! Remember that kiddies!
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I laid on the bed mulling things over for about an hour I guess. It was so hard to tell time in this place. I finally decided that it would be best if I found Haldir and tried to work things out. I guess I sorta owed him an explanation. I just hoped Celeborn was right.
I didn't feel like gettin' the crap beaten out of me when ends were finally starting to meet.
So I wandered around, trying to find Haldir. That damn elf was always there when you didn't need him. But when he was needed.... Poof! He disappeared into thin air like some friggin' magician! Grrrr...
I groaned in annoyance and plopped down on a bench. I suppose I was in some sort of garden. All the flowers around me were prettyful and made a nice display. I laid down on the stone bench and let my legs dangle over the end, while I rested my head on my arms, staring into the treetops.
It was nearly impossible to see at least an inch of sky. Sunlight filtered in through the cracks and through the leaves, giving everything a light green tinge. I let my eyes wander and make shapes with the cracks in the treetops, like you would with the stars.
It was paradise. Who needed Heaven when there was Lothlorien? I let my mind drift and wondered what exactly I was supposed to do in this strange word. It probably would have helped if I had read the books. I saw a little bit of the movie in the rec room, but only the fighting and chase scenes. Now THOSE were awesome.
I sighed, imagining what some of the others at the Institute would say if they knew about my predicament. Well, it would do no good wondering about them. I was never going back THERE. Nothing could keep me from staying in Middle-Earth.
"You cannot quit me so quickly
Is no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But i've got all the time for you love
The space between
The tears we cry...
Is the laughter that keeps us coming back for more
The space between...
The wicked lies we tell and hope to keep safe from the pain
But will I hold you again
These fickled fuddled words confuse me
Like will it rain today
We waste the hours with talking talking
These twisted games we're playing
We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What a wild eyed beast you be."
Ah, Dave Mathews. The dude always seemed to have the strangest lyrics in his best songs. I closed my eyes and smiled. Even as I sang the song, I could hear the music accompanying it in my head.
"The space between
The wicked lies we tell and hope to keep safe from the pain
But will I hold you again
Will I hold
Look at us spinning out in the madness of a rollercoaster
You know you went off like the devil in the church
In the middle of a crowded room
All we can do my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down
The space between
Where you smile and hide
Is where you'll find me If I get to go
The space between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where i'll be hiding waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splashed in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into your room
The space between
Our wicked lies is
Where we hope to keep safe from the pain
Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Right out of here
Love is all we need dear
The space between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding
Waiting for you
The space between
In your heart and mind
Is the space we'll fill with time
The space between."
I sighed again. This place was starting to affect me.
"That was beautiful." someone said.
I tried to stand and sit up at the same time and ended up on my stomach on the grass. I hurriedly stood up and looked at Haldir. That friggin' elf was going to give me a heart attack one of these days....
"Hiya Haldir." I said.
There was an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes before Haldir spoke again.
"May I ask a question?"
"You just did." I replied. He snorted and tried to give me a condescending look. Didn't work on me.
"Why did you run from me?"
Dang it. There it was. Why DID I run away from him? It was a confusing matter that I wasn't sure I could explain. So I went back to old reliable.
I shrugged and said, "I don't know."
Old reliable didn't work today. He stepped forward and put his hands on my shoulders. Haldir looked into my eyes and held my gaze. I hoped that my expression didn't show him anything.
"Why were you afraid of me?" he asked softly. Did I hear a note of hurt in his voice? Impossible! I tried to look away, but couldn't.
"I'm not afraid of you, Haldir." I answered.
"Then why did you run?"
"I..." I didn't want to tell him. He wouldn't understand. He may be a least 2,000 some years old, but he wouldn't understand. He was never ridiculed and feared like I was. Or hurt like I was. "I can't tell you." I whispered.
"Why?" he whsipered back. "Please, tell me." I thought I caught a flicker of caring in his eyes.
"You wouldn't understand." I choked out. Then I pulled away from him roughly and turned to look at the treetops again. "No one would understand." I told him.
"Try me." he challenged.
I hesitated. I shouldn't tell him. It was my own buisness. But something prompted me to tell him.
"I was young and impressionable, Haldir. I had been given something that I didn't fully understand. And because of it, I was told that I was dangerous and sometimes evil. I was told that I didn't deserve to live, and that I was a menace. I was given stuff that poisoned my system, and made me sick. This went on for years, along with other things." I couldn't look at him now. I didn't want to see the pity. "I thought for the longest time that I WAS better off dead. Even among the crazy people, I didn't fit in. Just like I don't fit in here. I'm just one of those people that don't belong anywhere. And that's my life story."
The forest was silent. Everything was quiet.
"Happy?" I asked him sourly. Some of my most painful memories were dragged up with that little discussion. Then again, all my memories were painful, since I didn't really have any good ones.
"Why would I be happy that you have suffered so?" he said so quietly that I almost didn't catch it. I looked at the forest floor and crossed my arms over my chest.
Everything was falling down around my head.
I frowned, disgusted at myself. The stupid elf had gotten to me, and was prying into my life. Why couldn't he let all these things rest? I had thought that they were all behind me. I started shuddering.
I felt two hands on my shoulders and pull me backwards slowly. I gave into their pullings, and was stopped by a solid body. Two arms wrapped around me and stopped my shivers. I leaned back gratefully into his embrace and let my head rest on his shoulder.
I needed this. I wanted to feel comforted for a change. It helped when Celeborn had done it, and it was helping now. I think i'm growing soft.
I wanted to cry, but there were no tears. Only the pain of the memories and warmth of Haldir's body that tried to calm me.
I hated feeling like this, and yet loved the attention that I got because of it.
"I'm so sick of it Haldir." I whispered. I closed my eyes and put on a grimace/frown/snarl.
"Sick of what?" he asked.
"Everything. The Institute, the powers, the hate, everything." I replied.
"This Institute..... It is the place where you were put when your parents found out?"
"Yeah. That God awful place was a prison with invisible bars." That was true. There were no bars on the grounds, or in the buildings. Only wire and orderlies that kept everyone in.
"That place is in the other world. You are here, in Lorien. You will not be persecuted here. You are safe." he reassured.
I opened my eyes and looked at Haldir. I grinned at him. "Safe." I said. He nodded, and my grin became a smile. "Thanks Haldir. I needed that." I stood up straight and he let go of me. I looked back up at the treetops, and wondered why this place was so beautiful.
You'd never see a place like this on Earth, that's for sure. But still, beauty like this couldn't be common. That would be impossible, even for Middle-Earth!
"That was a beautiful song. What is it called?" Haldir asked.
"You call that beautiful?" I laughed, and he looked confused. "Sorry. I just don't think i'm much of a singer. Though, it does help at times. It's called The Space Between, by the Dave Matthews Band. You wouldn't know them."
He just nodded like he understood. Smart elf. I think he's learning.
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The rest of the day was relatively boring. I explored some by myself, and had to be shown back to my flet thingy by Haldir (who I incidentally bumped into). After that, I played a little more solitaire, and basically relaxed.
Then an elf maid person came and said she was to bring me to supper.
"I am Miriel, Lady Narya. I am here to assist you with anything you need."
And before I could say anything, she made me take a bath (I didn't even do anything to get dirty or smelly!), and tried to make me wear a dress. That's where I drew the line. I could stand a bath that was pretty much unnecessary, but a dress was a strict no no.
"Uh-uh. No WAY am I wearing a dress." I stated firmly. "Thanks, but no thanks."
"It is only proper for a lady to wear a dress. Especially before the Lord and Lady." Miriel replied and took a couple steps towards me with a long- sleeved dark purple dress.
"Yeah, well, I ain't proper, so there. NO dress." I argued.
"You WILL wear a dress." I could see she was starting to get aggravated at my behavior. Yay for me!
"What part of no don't you understand? The N or the O?" I asked sarcastically.
This little spat went on for about five minutes when my stubborness pulled through. Miriel gave up with a huge sigh, and contented herself with making me as prettyful as she could with a tunic and breeches.
When we FINALLY got to supper, the only guys..... I mean ELVES that were missing were Galadriel and Celeborn. I guess they believed in that 'fashionably late' shit. Or maybe they were supposed to be late?
Aw hell, I dunno. This King and Queen crap is over my head.
The seating arrangments were the same as breakfast. Haldir scowled at my choice of clothing. He also believed in the ladies wear dresses, guys wear pants thing. I mentally patted myself on the back to introducing him to a little thing called womans rights.
Haldir better get used to it, 'cause I wasn't going to change just because he didn't like it.
"Quel undome Narya."
I jumped slightly in my seat and saw Celeborn grin.
"You people need to make some noise, or else i'll die of fright. Sneakin' up on people like that, you should be ashamed. And what exactly did you say?" His grin turned into a smile as I said this all in one breath.
"I said good evening." he answered. Then turned his attention to the food that was being dished out.
I tried to listen to some of the conversations going on, but they were all in elvish. I grimaced at this and silently hoped that my elvish lessons would go well in the days to come. Haldir would occaisonally talk to me in an effort to make me fit in, but it wasn't the same. I vaguely wondered where Rumil and Orophin were.
After supper Celeborn motioned for me to follow him. Galadriel went in a different direction than we did, and said something to Celeborn in elvish. He smiled and said something back before we parted ways.
He led me to the same library place that I had been in before. I took a seat at the table and looked around the room. I took the time to study everything and when I finished that, I started counting the books on the shelves.
Celeborn had gone to a desk and was rifling through papers on it. He found the one he wanted and skimmed over the words. He nodded once to himself and set the paper back on the desk.
I watched as he came over and sat across from me at the table. We sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments.
"You and Haldir made up, I see." he said.
"I guess you could say that." I replied. He allowed himself a slight grin.
"That is good to see. But what I wanted to say was that everything is all arranged. Tomorrow morning your lessons will start." He then explained the schedule to me, and who my teachers would be. I wasn't too surprised to find out that he was also long-winded.
Elves must have pretty damn big lungs since they did all this talking.
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Faulkner: Love it? Hate it? Tell me in a review!!!!
Pinky: Moving sucks ass!!!! Remember that kiddies!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I laid on the bed mulling things over for about an hour I guess. It was so hard to tell time in this place. I finally decided that it would be best if I found Haldir and tried to work things out. I guess I sorta owed him an explanation. I just hoped Celeborn was right.
I didn't feel like gettin' the crap beaten out of me when ends were finally starting to meet.
So I wandered around, trying to find Haldir. That damn elf was always there when you didn't need him. But when he was needed.... Poof! He disappeared into thin air like some friggin' magician! Grrrr...
I groaned in annoyance and plopped down on a bench. I suppose I was in some sort of garden. All the flowers around me were prettyful and made a nice display. I laid down on the stone bench and let my legs dangle over the end, while I rested my head on my arms, staring into the treetops.
It was nearly impossible to see at least an inch of sky. Sunlight filtered in through the cracks and through the leaves, giving everything a light green tinge. I let my eyes wander and make shapes with the cracks in the treetops, like you would with the stars.
It was paradise. Who needed Heaven when there was Lothlorien? I let my mind drift and wondered what exactly I was supposed to do in this strange word. It probably would have helped if I had read the books. I saw a little bit of the movie in the rec room, but only the fighting and chase scenes. Now THOSE were awesome.
I sighed, imagining what some of the others at the Institute would say if they knew about my predicament. Well, it would do no good wondering about them. I was never going back THERE. Nothing could keep me from staying in Middle-Earth.
"You cannot quit me so quickly
Is no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But i've got all the time for you love
The space between
The tears we cry...
Is the laughter that keeps us coming back for more
The space between...
The wicked lies we tell and hope to keep safe from the pain
But will I hold you again
These fickled fuddled words confuse me
Like will it rain today
We waste the hours with talking talking
These twisted games we're playing
We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What a wild eyed beast you be."
Ah, Dave Mathews. The dude always seemed to have the strangest lyrics in his best songs. I closed my eyes and smiled. Even as I sang the song, I could hear the music accompanying it in my head.
"The space between
The wicked lies we tell and hope to keep safe from the pain
But will I hold you again
Will I hold
Look at us spinning out in the madness of a rollercoaster
You know you went off like the devil in the church
In the middle of a crowded room
All we can do my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down
The space between
Where you smile and hide
Is where you'll find me If I get to go
The space between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where i'll be hiding waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splashed in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into your room
The space between
Our wicked lies is
Where we hope to keep safe from the pain
Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Right out of here
Love is all we need dear
The space between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding
Waiting for you
The space between
In your heart and mind
Is the space we'll fill with time
The space between."
I sighed again. This place was starting to affect me.
"That was beautiful." someone said.
I tried to stand and sit up at the same time and ended up on my stomach on the grass. I hurriedly stood up and looked at Haldir. That friggin' elf was going to give me a heart attack one of these days....
"Hiya Haldir." I said.
There was an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes before Haldir spoke again.
"May I ask a question?"
"You just did." I replied. He snorted and tried to give me a condescending look. Didn't work on me.
"Why did you run from me?"
Dang it. There it was. Why DID I run away from him? It was a confusing matter that I wasn't sure I could explain. So I went back to old reliable.
I shrugged and said, "I don't know."
Old reliable didn't work today. He stepped forward and put his hands on my shoulders. Haldir looked into my eyes and held my gaze. I hoped that my expression didn't show him anything.
"Why were you afraid of me?" he asked softly. Did I hear a note of hurt in his voice? Impossible! I tried to look away, but couldn't.
"I'm not afraid of you, Haldir." I answered.
"Then why did you run?"
"I..." I didn't want to tell him. He wouldn't understand. He may be a least 2,000 some years old, but he wouldn't understand. He was never ridiculed and feared like I was. Or hurt like I was. "I can't tell you." I whispered.
"Why?" he whsipered back. "Please, tell me." I thought I caught a flicker of caring in his eyes.
"You wouldn't understand." I choked out. Then I pulled away from him roughly and turned to look at the treetops again. "No one would understand." I told him.
"Try me." he challenged.
I hesitated. I shouldn't tell him. It was my own buisness. But something prompted me to tell him.
"I was young and impressionable, Haldir. I had been given something that I didn't fully understand. And because of it, I was told that I was dangerous and sometimes evil. I was told that I didn't deserve to live, and that I was a menace. I was given stuff that poisoned my system, and made me sick. This went on for years, along with other things." I couldn't look at him now. I didn't want to see the pity. "I thought for the longest time that I WAS better off dead. Even among the crazy people, I didn't fit in. Just like I don't fit in here. I'm just one of those people that don't belong anywhere. And that's my life story."
The forest was silent. Everything was quiet.
"Happy?" I asked him sourly. Some of my most painful memories were dragged up with that little discussion. Then again, all my memories were painful, since I didn't really have any good ones.
"Why would I be happy that you have suffered so?" he said so quietly that I almost didn't catch it. I looked at the forest floor and crossed my arms over my chest.
Everything was falling down around my head.
I frowned, disgusted at myself. The stupid elf had gotten to me, and was prying into my life. Why couldn't he let all these things rest? I had thought that they were all behind me. I started shuddering.
I felt two hands on my shoulders and pull me backwards slowly. I gave into their pullings, and was stopped by a solid body. Two arms wrapped around me and stopped my shivers. I leaned back gratefully into his embrace and let my head rest on his shoulder.
I needed this. I wanted to feel comforted for a change. It helped when Celeborn had done it, and it was helping now. I think i'm growing soft.
I wanted to cry, but there were no tears. Only the pain of the memories and warmth of Haldir's body that tried to calm me.
I hated feeling like this, and yet loved the attention that I got because of it.
"I'm so sick of it Haldir." I whispered. I closed my eyes and put on a grimace/frown/snarl.
"Sick of what?" he asked.
"Everything. The Institute, the powers, the hate, everything." I replied.
"This Institute..... It is the place where you were put when your parents found out?"
"Yeah. That God awful place was a prison with invisible bars." That was true. There were no bars on the grounds, or in the buildings. Only wire and orderlies that kept everyone in.
"That place is in the other world. You are here, in Lorien. You will not be persecuted here. You are safe." he reassured.
I opened my eyes and looked at Haldir. I grinned at him. "Safe." I said. He nodded, and my grin became a smile. "Thanks Haldir. I needed that." I stood up straight and he let go of me. I looked back up at the treetops, and wondered why this place was so beautiful.
You'd never see a place like this on Earth, that's for sure. But still, beauty like this couldn't be common. That would be impossible, even for Middle-Earth!
"That was a beautiful song. What is it called?" Haldir asked.
"You call that beautiful?" I laughed, and he looked confused. "Sorry. I just don't think i'm much of a singer. Though, it does help at times. It's called The Space Between, by the Dave Matthews Band. You wouldn't know them."
He just nodded like he understood. Smart elf. I think he's learning.
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The rest of the day was relatively boring. I explored some by myself, and had to be shown back to my flet thingy by Haldir (who I incidentally bumped into). After that, I played a little more solitaire, and basically relaxed.
Then an elf maid person came and said she was to bring me to supper.
"I am Miriel, Lady Narya. I am here to assist you with anything you need."
And before I could say anything, she made me take a bath (I didn't even do anything to get dirty or smelly!), and tried to make me wear a dress. That's where I drew the line. I could stand a bath that was pretty much unnecessary, but a dress was a strict no no.
"Uh-uh. No WAY am I wearing a dress." I stated firmly. "Thanks, but no thanks."
"It is only proper for a lady to wear a dress. Especially before the Lord and Lady." Miriel replied and took a couple steps towards me with a long- sleeved dark purple dress.
"Yeah, well, I ain't proper, so there. NO dress." I argued.
"You WILL wear a dress." I could see she was starting to get aggravated at my behavior. Yay for me!
"What part of no don't you understand? The N or the O?" I asked sarcastically.
This little spat went on for about five minutes when my stubborness pulled through. Miriel gave up with a huge sigh, and contented herself with making me as prettyful as she could with a tunic and breeches.
When we FINALLY got to supper, the only guys..... I mean ELVES that were missing were Galadriel and Celeborn. I guess they believed in that 'fashionably late' shit. Or maybe they were supposed to be late?
Aw hell, I dunno. This King and Queen crap is over my head.
The seating arrangments were the same as breakfast. Haldir scowled at my choice of clothing. He also believed in the ladies wear dresses, guys wear pants thing. I mentally patted myself on the back to introducing him to a little thing called womans rights.
Haldir better get used to it, 'cause I wasn't going to change just because he didn't like it.
"Quel undome Narya."
I jumped slightly in my seat and saw Celeborn grin.
"You people need to make some noise, or else i'll die of fright. Sneakin' up on people like that, you should be ashamed. And what exactly did you say?" His grin turned into a smile as I said this all in one breath.
"I said good evening." he answered. Then turned his attention to the food that was being dished out.
I tried to listen to some of the conversations going on, but they were all in elvish. I grimaced at this and silently hoped that my elvish lessons would go well in the days to come. Haldir would occaisonally talk to me in an effort to make me fit in, but it wasn't the same. I vaguely wondered where Rumil and Orophin were.
After supper Celeborn motioned for me to follow him. Galadriel went in a different direction than we did, and said something to Celeborn in elvish. He smiled and said something back before we parted ways.
He led me to the same library place that I had been in before. I took a seat at the table and looked around the room. I took the time to study everything and when I finished that, I started counting the books on the shelves.
Celeborn had gone to a desk and was rifling through papers on it. He found the one he wanted and skimmed over the words. He nodded once to himself and set the paper back on the desk.
I watched as he came over and sat across from me at the table. We sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments.
"You and Haldir made up, I see." he said.
"I guess you could say that." I replied. He allowed himself a slight grin.
"That is good to see. But what I wanted to say was that everything is all arranged. Tomorrow morning your lessons will start." He then explained the schedule to me, and who my teachers would be. I wasn't too surprised to find out that he was also long-winded.
Elves must have pretty damn big lungs since they did all this talking.
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Faulkner: Love it? Hate it? Tell me in a review!!!!