Hawaiian Havoc!

Disclaimer: "Oh great, another lunatic." -Lazlow, Grand Theft Auto III (One of my favorite games!)

To Goofn1: I'm glad you liked the sandbox moment. Well, I guess Spyder has Lance's best interests in mind, but I think it's also because she's got a bit of a crush on Lance herself. Lance's teammates do care about him, I guess. But sometimes I think they get a good laugh out of Lance's bad luck. 

To Red Witch: Yeah, Zanya torture is kind of fun. Man, everyone loves Scott as a chicken! I dunno how I'm going to torture that waiter on dry land. BTW, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised when I reveal that waiter's identity, heh heh heh.

To Sparky Genocide: Hmm, Scotty going through personalities thanks to unintentional shots in the head. That sounds really great! I deal with that Cold Slither thing in "Mad Malibu Summer!" You should read it!

To RogueFanKC: Yeah, even someone as cunning as Zanya can't take down the lovestruck X-Girls! Yeah, and you won't believe who gets hit by the coffee.

To todd fan: Well, I hope you like this new chapter! Oh yeah, I read the new chapter of "To Err is Human", and loved it! I hope you put up the next chapter soon!

To Raliena: I said it before and I'll say it again, Paul does not have some kind of probability-based power. It's just all the good karma Paul's built up over the years.

To Wizard1: Hey Wizard1, where are you?! I want to see the new chapter of 'Karaoke Dance Party'!

To Metal Dragon1: Read the new chapter of "Take the Long Way Home" and loved it! I hope the next one comes up quickly! Oh, and Shawn and Rick should consider themselves lucky that Tabby and X23 didn't kill them where they stood!

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants and claps. Some hold up signs) This time, we take another look at a Joe handler who knows his machine guns as much as he knows his cooking, Roadblock!

Roadblock

Real Name: Marvin F. Hinton

Affiliation: Army

Rank: Sergeant First Class

Primary Military Specialty: Heavy Machine Gunner, Infantry Heavy Weapons

Secondary Military Specialty: Cook, Misfit Handler (Blob, Toad)

Birthplace: Biloxi, Mississippi

Bio: As a boy, Roadblock was a Boy Scout and a member of a church choir with dreams of being a gourmet chef. When he grew up, the fact that he was a large guy helped him get a job as a bouncer. He saved money to hopefully study at the prominent Escoffier School in France, a famous cooking school.

When a recruiter said that Roadblock could be trained as a cook in the Army, Roadblock immediately signed up. He took well to military life, except the fact that he was horrified by the cuisine. Roadblock became famous for mastering what would become his specialty weapon, the M-2 Browning .50 caliber machine gun, a weapon that most soldiers find it difficult to even lift, much less fire. As a result, he was asked to join GI Joe.

During a recon in a jungle, Roadblock found a battered and beaten Todd, left to die by Magneto. Toad would end up becoming one of the first Misfits. When Toad's ex-Brotherhood teammates Avalanche, Scarlet Witch, Blob, and Quicksilver ended up under Joe care, Roadblock also ended up caring for the Blob. Under Roadblock's care, Blob discovered a talent for cooking as well as psychology.  

Chapter 5: Ashore at Last!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

(The Harbor)

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Logan, Jinx, Recondo, Cover Girl, Shipwreck, Warren, Beast, Low Light, and Xavier hooted as they raced down the gangwalk at incredible speed. The Misfits and the X-Men blinked at this.

"Um, can anyone explain that?" Quinn asked, holding Claudius.

"You got me." Spyder blinked, holding Beaky.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!" Xi and Jason Fox made themselves visible.

"What did you do, Foxfire?" Jean asked with a glare.

"Oh, this will be good." Lila smirked. "Hey Red, can't keep your boyfriends in line?"

"Shut up, Lila." Jean growled.

"I introduced the adults to a special coffee." Fox smirked. "Figured it would help them get in the vacation mindset."

"BA's coffee?! Foxfire, you and I may be friends because we both hate Scott, but that's CRAZY!!" Lance exclaimed.

"Oh relax. It'll wear off."

"It's what they do until it wears off that worries us!" Dani exclaimed.

"You worry too much, babe." Fox grinned.

"Don't call me that, Fox." Dani warned. "I'm not some groupie!"

"Says the pot to the kettle." Craig muttered to Sam, referring to Dani's thing for Starchild. Sam nodded.

"Foxfire, what were you thinking?!" Kitty snapped.

"I was trying to liven up the adults so I could have a laugh!" Fox exclaimed in his own defense.

"You egomaniacal moron!"

"At least my mom isn't trying to be Demi Moore and my dad is a faACK!! ACK!!! ACK!!!" Fox screamed when Kitty started trying to wring his neck. Jake overheard.

Oh no! First Scott thinks he's the new San Diego Chicken, now this! Thanks a lot, Fox! You really know how to liven things up! Jake groaned. The others noticed Scott run down the gangwalk, Col. Sanders behind him. They also saw Scott fall over a small brick barricade and smack his head against a palm tree.

"Ohhhhh…"

"Scott!" Jean exclaimed. Kurt and Lila teleported over to check on him.

"Uh, Jean…" Kurt blinked.

"Hey Red, one of your human toys lost his mind." Lila chuckled. When Scott got up, he was clad rather smartly: A white shirt with a black suit and tie, a black hat, and black shoes.

"Ugh. Where am I?"

"What is your name?" Lila asked Scott. Scott looked at them.

"Who are you people? And I have to make a gig. You see, I'm on a mission from God."

"Oh no." Kurt moaned.

"He thinks he's one of the Blues Brothers!" Lila laughed. "I love that movie!"

"Scott! What happened to Scott?" Jean exclaimed as she and the others came down.

"Scott thinks he's one of the Blues Brothers." Kurt sighed.

"By the way, where's Jake?" Scott asked. "Have you seen him? He promised he'd be here an hour ago!"

"Oh good. He's Elwood. I'd be very worried for him if he thought he was Jake Blues. After all, he was the fat one." Pietro quipped.

"Pietro, now is not the time for your comedy." Rogue groaned.

"Maybe if we find a House of Blues or something like that, we can help Scott." Paul suggested to Jean as a whisper.

"Guys, John Belushi is dead. Which means that Jake Blues is dead. What do we do?" Lance whispered.

"Wait! Ever seen Blues Brothers 2000?" Lila asked. "In that movie, Elwood finds a new partner in Mighty Mack."

"Yeah but where are going to get a guy big enough…" Craig started until he looked at Blob. All the Superstars did.

"No. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no." Blob shook his head, waving his hands. "Forget it! I don't know any blues songs! I can't even sing!"

"Hopefully, you won't have to, Blob. Just walk with him dressed like a Blues Brother." Lina shrugged.

"Hey look what I got for the West Coat guys." Pyro grinned, holding a small metal sphere with a stand that had a conveyor belt inside. "I forget what it's called, a Van something sphere, but touch it!" Lina touched the metal sphere, and she got a small shock.

"Eek!" Lina jumped and hid behind Blob.

"Uh, Lina is struggling with a slight fear of electricity. She's had it since Darkbolt attacked her at that whole Cobra-La thing." Fred reminded.

"Oh, sorry." John blinked. "Sorry Lina. I forgot."

"Th-th-that's okay, John." Lina shuddered.

"Of course, Kyle himself never made things better." Angelica growled. "You know, I think he never really apologized for his treatment of Lina. I swear, if I ever get my hands on that loudmouthed bully, I'll roast him!"

"Take a number." Blob growled. 

"Look, we're here to have fun, huh?" Paul sighed. "Kyle's in California, so Lina has nothing to be afraid of."

"Thanks to Darkbolt, I'm frightened by lightning storms all over again." Lina groaned. "And Kyle got a good laugh out of it."

"Ah, let's not talk about that thunder-throwing jerk. Let's have some fun!" Angelica grinned.

"I'll put lotion on your back, hon." John offered. "OW!!" Angelica hit him with the fire extinguisher.

"Anyway, we'll--" Lance turned and saw Scott was gone. "Oh well. Let's go party!"

"YEAH!!!" Everyone said.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(The Harbor)

"Ohhhh…" The waiter moaned as he climbed on the pier. His golden name tag read 'Matthews'. "Huh?" He walked to the harbor and noticed a horde of hyped-up mutants and Joes race towards him. "SACRE BLEU AAAAAAGH!!!!" He screamed as he got trampled. "Ohhhhhh…"

Well, looks like Hawaii will never be the same! What insanity will happen next? What madness will several hyped-up adults get into? Who will Scott think he is next? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!