"OH SAY CAN YOU SEE? BY HERMIONE'S BIG MOLE!" Oh, sorry. We didn't see you there. How's it goin'? And so we're back! From outah space! We just walked in to find you here with that updated look upon yo face!
Oooooh hi, I didn't see you there again... (WOW! WE'RE BLIND!!) I'd like………hmmm, a double pepperoni and ziti pizza, an order of buffalo wings, and a large coke. That's to go, ma'am. You don't take credit cards? WHY NOT? Look, your cash register has a credit card sliding thingy on it, so why don't you just take the darn card and SWIPE IT! NOOOO, I don't mean steal it, get back here! NOW! Grr, time to go BACK to the authorities AGAIN!
Listen, readers of A YEAR TO REMEMBAHHHHHH, we really need reviews. They encourage us to write, and we haven't been in the mood to write because we only have about 22 freakin' reviews! We need mo, foo.
Chapter………ehhh, what is it? Oh, man, I'm getting ooooold. Too old for school. Whoops, slip of the tongue there! Just kidding. This is chapter 8 million.
Since we hear that our opening things are long and boring and unneeded, we shall make rubber chickens. Boo ya!
Actually, we have a really funny/nice chapter up ahead, so we're gonna start right away. Here it go! (In honor of the loser)
Cha-Cha-Cha… Chapter 5
Lily and James Die
The next morning at breakfast in the Great Hall, a large group of students were gathered around Draco and his new pet worm. He was sitting on top of a Christmas tree, stroking it as if it were his own. Everyone around him was shrieking and whispering about the new pet.
"Bajabbers!" exclaimed Cho Cho Train, the new transfer football playah from Greenland. A bunch of students agreed. Boy, that Cho Cho sure had a waaaaaaaay with words.
"Say, Draco," said Professor McGonagall. "Can you and your new worm Tinky Winky do the worm together?" Draco nodded with delight and jumped down from the Christmas tree, knocking down several ornaments of hairballs.
"Hairball? Yes? No?" exclaimed Jason. After receiving a "look" (a.k.a. a smile and a wink) from Draco, he shut up. Then, Draco strutted over to Harry, and yelled,
"Hit it, boys!" Harry grinned with glee and whipped out his tuba, while Hermione started the violin on her mole. Soon, I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman started blasting across the Hall.
"OH MY GOD!!" yelled Snape. "THIS IS MY SONG!" Draco looked over at him. Snape winked, and Joseph died.
Anyway, immediately, Draco and Tinky Winky got down on the ground and started the worm. "w00t w00t!" yelled the students. After several other whoops from Snape, they started to break dance. Then, Ron took out a whip and strangled himself. It was horrifying to see such… people do those sort of dances.
The music stopped.
Ron, the second youngest Weasely, died.
Everyone cheered and started eating bologna cupcakes.
"Tastes like my grandma!" yelled Neville. Right after that, his Gran came up behind him, pulled down his pants, and gave him several whacks on the tush.
"I slap!" she yelled every time. And every time she missed Neville's flabby tush and instead slapped Harry, who squealed like a sissy little girl. "You know, Neville, you should really tame your buttocks hair! It's out of control!" Goyle's head popped up.
"You know, I have an excellent waxer who's name is…" But they never heard the poor waxer's name. That was because a huge meteor came and wiped out the whole state of Nebraska.
"HOLY CHEESE-ITS!" cried Tinky Winky. "I BETTER GET BACK OUT OF MY ANIMAGUS FORM!" So she changed back into her old, fugly self.
"Ew," Draco said.
"Yeah," Harry supplied. "You looked better as a filthy little… er… worm."
"Uh, oh!" yelled the really, horrendously gay Telletubby. He felt the need to leave, so before he left, he tried one last time. "Who's up for some… tubby custaaaaaaaaaaard?!"
The Great Hall was silent. That is, until Justin Finch-Fletchy snorted.
"Looks like someone's been watching I Love The 90's a littttttttttttle too much there! Honk! Honk!" Even so, he and Timmy Turner got up and followed Tinky Winky to his pad. Unfortunately, they were never seen again.
Fred and George stood up grimly. They walked to the front of the Hall, in front of the Teacher's table. After Professor Dumbledore silenced and calmed everyone down, Forge and Gred were ready to make their announcement.
"Cough. Cough. COUGH!" Fred coughed. "We have a very important announcement to make."
"That's right, Fred!" exclaimed George. "We're making our own shop here at Hogwarts. It's located in the Chamber of Secrets!"
"We have many items to sell. George, will you please show some examples of our products?" Fred inquired. George grinned toothily and opened a briefcase that appeared at his feet. First, he held up a t-shirt.
"This, folks, is a F.A.G. original. It's a t-shirt, ladies, gentlemen, and hairballs, that proudly states "I DEFEATED THE BASILISK™!" Several students murmured with delight, and some shivered with pleasure. Others enjoyed a nice and relaxing massage from Tinky Winky, who had returned alone, and in the shape of a worm. "Fred, will you?"
Fred reached into the briefcase and drew out a plastic diary with a fang in it. "This, friends and family, is a diary action figure with real INK-SQUIRTING ACTION™!" He happily demonstrated for them the "INK-SQUIRTING ACTION™ on Professor Snape's face.
"Ahh, FINALLY!" exclaimed Snape. "My face has actually been washed!" After a look from Draco (again) he shut up. George took this opportunity to show them their final item for show.
"And finally, my dear witches and warlocks, is a brand-new, state of the ART, ONE OF A KIND Gryffindor Sword With Basilisk Oozing Blood™! Yes, everyone, it's quite a treat. It comes in a package of two!" Fred shoved all the items into his briefcase and made their last statement.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, those are only a few of our wonderful items from our shop in the Chamber of Secrets. But be careful, folks, you just might get attacked by someone really crazy down there named Gilderoy Lockhart!"
"Hey! He's a loon! Just like my parents!" yelled Neville, who was suddenly wearing a dress made out of gum-wrappers.
"Uhh… well, thanks again, everyone for listening to our presentation! This has been a F.A.G. production!" With that, the twins apparated back to their seats.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" yelled Hermione.
And th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-at's all folks!
The F.A.G. presentation is COPYRIGHTED by us. IT means Fred And George. HAHA!
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