Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings, I own not.
A/N: The story might not be updated too often cause I'm trying to do my
homework, write a POTC fanfic, write an extra credit LA story, and keep my
sanity all at once. Los siento mucho!
Chapter Eight: The Return of the Unicorn
Pippin clutched at his stomach and rolled on the ground, laughing. Katherine was fanning Tara, trying to revive her. It wasn't working so well, and no one else bothered to help. The others were deciding to play next. Or, in Pippin's case, clutching their stomachs and were rolling on the ground, laughing.
"Uh... I don't think this match is going to continue, so what do you want to do?" Jen H. asked.
"Hmmm..." Frodo scratched his beard. (Yes, Frodo has a beard...in this fic anyway.) "I KNOW! Let's give each other pedicures and manicures!" Everyone looked at the Hobbit's feet. They were extremely hairy and the toenails were overgrown and disgusting. Boromir screamed like the little girl he is and fainted.
"OH! I have a WAY better idea!" Adrienne said, "Let's all get in the car and every time we stop at a red light, we'll count how many people pick their nose!" Everyone looked at Adrienne funny.
"C'mon guys, it's America's Pastime!" came a voice from behind. They all turned around and saw whom else but Homestar Runner from standing beside Strong Bad!! (They're both from homestarrunner.com, the funniest website in the world!)
"HOLINESS THINGS OF ALL THINGS HOLY!!" cried Diana, "It's Homestar Runner and Strong Bad!!!!"
"Whoa. These peoples actually know us." Homestar said.
"Well, duh, dumb-star! You have your own web site!" Strong Bad said.
"Oh, like Batman."
"What the crap? Never mind. I don't want to know."
"So how'd you guys get here?" Amanda asked.
"Well..." Homestar started, "It all starts with a mommy and a daddy and they go up to the bedroom-"
"Hey wo!" Pippin interrupted, "That is SO my line!"
"No, you crap-for-brains!" Strong Bad said, "She meant how we got into this house!"
"Ooooooooooooooooh! Now I get it!" Homestar replied, "Well, I don't know how we got here."
"Holy crap, you're the one who suggested we rent a Unicorn to get here!"
"I WANT A UNICORN!" Aragorn shouted. He curled up into a ball and his blanket magically reappeared.
I just appeared...
...came out of nowhere...
Sorry, I couldn't pass up the opportunity.
"What Unicorn?" Homestar asked in his really hilarjimous voice. (Yes I just typed hilarjimous.) A unicorn nudged his head into Homestar's back.
"THAT UNICORN!" Everyone said in unison.
"That's not a Unicorn, it's a platamapus!" Homestar laughed, "Wow, you guys are stupid." They all rolled their eyes.
"So, what do you want to do?" Jenny Penny asked. (From now on Jenny Hess is going to be called Jenny Penny, and Jen Heller, Jen H.)
"I think we should do what Adrienne said." Lydia suggested, "That's sounds real funny!"
"Well, I can drive." Doug said.
"And I can prance around like an idiot!"
"We all knew that, Pranciblad! You only pranced half way here and you a rented a Unicorn!" Strong Bad mumbled some unintelligible words and besides, they probably would be too inappropriate for me to list.
"Oh, I doubt it," Homestar said, "I drove."
~*~
They all squeezed into Doug's car as best they could. Needless to say it was just a bit crowded. "Get your foot out of my ear Aragorn!" Hayley snapped. "Whose butt is in my face?" Hanna asked. "Mine." Legolas replied. "Oh. Okay, never mind." Hanna smiled, and Legolas tried to smack his forehead, but he hit Gimli instead. "Holy crap, who farted?!" Strong Bad yelled over all the noise. Merry blushed. "Okay, we're coming to a red light." Doug announced. The car slowed down to a stop. They all looked out the window and counted in their heads, except Homestar. He preferred to count out loud. "One...two...three...eight...seventy-two...button..." Diana and Hanna looked at each other in confusion. "Uh...Homestar?" Diana said, "Did you ever lean how to count?" "Why of course I did! I almost graduated from Crazy Go Nuts University!" "Oh. Okay. For second there I almost thought that you said something remotely intelligent." Hanna laughed. "What's that mean?" Homestar asked. "What?" "That word." "What word?" Hanna thought for a bit, "Oh, you mean intelligent." "Yes!" Homestar said, "Intelivision." "It's another word for 'smart'." Adrienne replied. "When did I say something smart?" Homestar asked. "Never."
"That what I thought." Homestar said. They all drove around in Doug's car for an hour and went back to Diana's house.
"How many people did we count?" Sam asked.
"1,678,345,344,209,654." Jenny Penny replied.
"Whoa." They walked into the front door only to find the Unicorn and a bunch of his Unicorn friends (and a possum!) completely trashing the place.
Oh yeah, they were all trashed too. "Whoa..." said one of the unicorns, "Look at all the stars...I'm going to count them! One ... two ... three... eight... seventy two...button..."
"Well," Lydia said, "Homestar, I think you found a new friend."
"ALL RIGHT!" Lydia rolled her eyes and smacked her forehead. Homestar sat down next to the unicorn and they had a very odd conversation. Or rather, very dumb conversation.
"Oh gosh, if my mom sees the place like this, she'll kill me!" Diana said in dismay.
"Wait," Miriam said, "Since when are there parents in this story?"
"Well, there isn't." Diana replied. "My parents are only mentioned this once in this story."
"Okay then."
"Anyways," Diana continued, "We have to straighten this place up."
"Why?" Amanda asked, "I thought your parents were only mentioned in this story."
"Well, A.) I don't like messy places, B.) We need something to entertain the readers. So let's get to it!
A/N: Okay, Homestar and Strong Bad were thrown in here for some more comical relief. (Not that you need anymore, I know your ribs hurt from laughing so hard.) And my health teacher seriously recommended counting how many people pick their noses at red lights. Oh and sorry if this chapter was really stupid and boring. I just needed to come up with something.
Chapter Eight: The Return of the Unicorn
Pippin clutched at his stomach and rolled on the ground, laughing. Katherine was fanning Tara, trying to revive her. It wasn't working so well, and no one else bothered to help. The others were deciding to play next. Or, in Pippin's case, clutching their stomachs and were rolling on the ground, laughing.
"Uh... I don't think this match is going to continue, so what do you want to do?" Jen H. asked.
"Hmmm..." Frodo scratched his beard. (Yes, Frodo has a beard...in this fic anyway.) "I KNOW! Let's give each other pedicures and manicures!" Everyone looked at the Hobbit's feet. They were extremely hairy and the toenails were overgrown and disgusting. Boromir screamed like the little girl he is and fainted.
"OH! I have a WAY better idea!" Adrienne said, "Let's all get in the car and every time we stop at a red light, we'll count how many people pick their nose!" Everyone looked at Adrienne funny.
"C'mon guys, it's America's Pastime!" came a voice from behind. They all turned around and saw whom else but Homestar Runner from standing beside Strong Bad!! (They're both from homestarrunner.com, the funniest website in the world!)
"HOLINESS THINGS OF ALL THINGS HOLY!!" cried Diana, "It's Homestar Runner and Strong Bad!!!!"
"Whoa. These peoples actually know us." Homestar said.
"Well, duh, dumb-star! You have your own web site!" Strong Bad said.
"Oh, like Batman."
"What the crap? Never mind. I don't want to know."
"So how'd you guys get here?" Amanda asked.
"Well..." Homestar started, "It all starts with a mommy and a daddy and they go up to the bedroom-"
"Hey wo!" Pippin interrupted, "That is SO my line!"
"No, you crap-for-brains!" Strong Bad said, "She meant how we got into this house!"
"Ooooooooooooooooh! Now I get it!" Homestar replied, "Well, I don't know how we got here."
"Holy crap, you're the one who suggested we rent a Unicorn to get here!"
"I WANT A UNICORN!" Aragorn shouted. He curled up into a ball and his blanket magically reappeared.
I just appeared...
...came out of nowhere...
Sorry, I couldn't pass up the opportunity.
"What Unicorn?" Homestar asked in his really hilarjimous voice. (Yes I just typed hilarjimous.) A unicorn nudged his head into Homestar's back.
"THAT UNICORN!" Everyone said in unison.
"That's not a Unicorn, it's a platamapus!" Homestar laughed, "Wow, you guys are stupid." They all rolled their eyes.
"So, what do you want to do?" Jenny Penny asked. (From now on Jenny Hess is going to be called Jenny Penny, and Jen Heller, Jen H.)
"I think we should do what Adrienne said." Lydia suggested, "That's sounds real funny!"
"Well, I can drive." Doug said.
"And I can prance around like an idiot!"
"We all knew that, Pranciblad! You only pranced half way here and you a rented a Unicorn!" Strong Bad mumbled some unintelligible words and besides, they probably would be too inappropriate for me to list.
"Oh, I doubt it," Homestar said, "I drove."
~*~
They all squeezed into Doug's car as best they could. Needless to say it was just a bit crowded. "Get your foot out of my ear Aragorn!" Hayley snapped. "Whose butt is in my face?" Hanna asked. "Mine." Legolas replied. "Oh. Okay, never mind." Hanna smiled, and Legolas tried to smack his forehead, but he hit Gimli instead. "Holy crap, who farted?!" Strong Bad yelled over all the noise. Merry blushed. "Okay, we're coming to a red light." Doug announced. The car slowed down to a stop. They all looked out the window and counted in their heads, except Homestar. He preferred to count out loud. "One...two...three...eight...seventy-two...button..." Diana and Hanna looked at each other in confusion. "Uh...Homestar?" Diana said, "Did you ever lean how to count?" "Why of course I did! I almost graduated from Crazy Go Nuts University!" "Oh. Okay. For second there I almost thought that you said something remotely intelligent." Hanna laughed. "What's that mean?" Homestar asked. "What?" "That word." "What word?" Hanna thought for a bit, "Oh, you mean intelligent." "Yes!" Homestar said, "Intelivision." "It's another word for 'smart'." Adrienne replied. "When did I say something smart?" Homestar asked. "Never."
"That what I thought." Homestar said. They all drove around in Doug's car for an hour and went back to Diana's house.
"How many people did we count?" Sam asked.
"1,678,345,344,209,654." Jenny Penny replied.
"Whoa." They walked into the front door only to find the Unicorn and a bunch of his Unicorn friends (and a possum!) completely trashing the place.
Oh yeah, they were all trashed too. "Whoa..." said one of the unicorns, "Look at all the stars...I'm going to count them! One ... two ... three... eight... seventy two...button..."
"Well," Lydia said, "Homestar, I think you found a new friend."
"ALL RIGHT!" Lydia rolled her eyes and smacked her forehead. Homestar sat down next to the unicorn and they had a very odd conversation. Or rather, very dumb conversation.
"Oh gosh, if my mom sees the place like this, she'll kill me!" Diana said in dismay.
"Wait," Miriam said, "Since when are there parents in this story?"
"Well, there isn't." Diana replied. "My parents are only mentioned this once in this story."
"Okay then."
"Anyways," Diana continued, "We have to straighten this place up."
"Why?" Amanda asked, "I thought your parents were only mentioned in this story."
"Well, A.) I don't like messy places, B.) We need something to entertain the readers. So let's get to it!
A/N: Okay, Homestar and Strong Bad were thrown in here for some more comical relief. (Not that you need anymore, I know your ribs hurt from laughing so hard.) And my health teacher seriously recommended counting how many people pick their noses at red lights. Oh and sorry if this chapter was really stupid and boring. I just needed to come up with something.