Disclaimer: I don't own the Lord of the Rings, yo. Or Homestar Runner. Or
Strong Bad. Or Jack Sparrow.
A/N: If you're a girl scout, and you're proud of being a girl scout, and if people making fun of girl scouts offends you, DON'T READ THIS.
Chapter 9:Attack of the Girl Scouts
"How'd you Unicorns get here anyways?" Jenna asked while picking up a banana peel off the floor.
"It's a bit complicated." Unicorn #2 said, "It all starts with a mommy and a-"
"HEY!" Pippin and Homestar said in unison. They stared at each other in an angry stare-off. Homestar blinked first.
"HA!" Pippin cried triumphantly, "I win! The line is MINE!" Everyone rolled they're eyes. Pippin did a little victory dance. "WOOHOO!"
"When did we decide that?" Homestar asked.
"After the Angry Stare-Off. What, do you want to fight for it?" Pippin mocked.
"Ok."
"Dude, you don't have any arms." Jen H. said. (Homestar Runner is basically a marshmallow with legs and propeller cap)
"Yes I do." Homestar walked up to Pippin and punched him in his stomach. Pippin fell to the ground and had trouble breathing. When he tried to speak, his voice was high pitched.
"I don't think violence is the answer..." Pippin said in his weird voice.
"...It's the solution!" Miriam finished.
"No fighting!" Diana said, "I don't want to go to court because two fictional characters beat each other up. Besides, my parents would kill me."
"I thought you said that your parents would only be mentioned once in this story." Amanda said.
"Oh. Oops." They all continued to clean up while Pippin continued fighting with Homestar. (Though no blood was involved, sorry!) The Unicorns were too wasted to help, and as for the possum...well we won't go there.
"What's up with that possum anyways?" Merry asked.
"Well," said Unicorn #6, "The Possum threatened to replace our crack with pixy stix if we didn't take him along."
"Pixy Stix." Diana said, "Cause not every kid can afford crack."
"Riiiiiiiiiggggggggghhhhhhhhht...."
"Cleaning up this mess won't help with my complexion at all!" Legolas said in dismay.
"It's okay," Hanna said, "You look hott not matter what." She sighed.
"Uh, thanks...I think." Soon after, pounding was heard at the door. They all went to answer the door. Don't ask why it takes that many people to answer the door. But they all answered the door. But before they did, Diana peered out the door to see who was there, and her smile turned to a frown in a split second.
"Whatever you do, don't answer the-" Too late, again. Sam opened the door already. "-door."
"Hi, would you like to buy some cookies?" Three little girls, about the age of nine, stood on just beyond the door. The were dressed in the customary clothes of the horrid Girl Scouts.
Diana hurried toward the door. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. "NOOOO!" She leaped at Sam, knocking him to the ground before he could accept the offer. She got back up and faced the little devils. "*Lle naa vanima lle atara laniena!" She slammed the door closed.
"What was that for?" Boromir asked, "And since when can you speak elvish?"
"Hello, I'm only a S.O.L.F. member! It's required to know elvish." Diana said, "And those innocent looking girls were the evil girl scouts of doom. They reign terror on unsuspecting souls by overcharging them for really disgusting cookies."
"But I like the thin mints!" Jenny Penny said.
"Oh, but you don't understand." Diana said, "My mom-"
"That's the third time you've mentioned your parents." Adrienne said.
"Anyways, My mom made me join girl scouts and it was horrible! The troop leader was soooooooo mean. And none of the girls had any brain cells cause they were brainwashed by the evilness of the Girl Scout ways."
"Holy crap," Strong Bad muttered, "They're just a bunch of little girls!" Strong Bad opened the door and stepped outside. The others closed the door behind him to prevent the battalions of Girl Scouts to enter the house. Outside, phrases such as "GET THE BA*****!" were heard along with Strong Bad's screams. Five minutes later, Strong Bad was able to find a way back into the house.
"They all came out of nowhere!" He said in between sobs, "I couldn't stop them! It was horrible!" Jenna put a consoling arm around Strong Bad's shoulder.
Merry, Pippin and Amanda looked out the window. "Uh, they kind of stationed themselves outside your house." The Scouts had formed battle stations all around the house. They were armed with cookies and other Girl Scout things.
"We're doomed." Aragorn said, "I wasn't supposed to die this way!"
"I know." Jen H. said.
"How would you know?" Aragorn asked.
"I know A LOT about you." Aragorn took a few steps back.
"Well, what should we do?!" Gimli frantically asked. Diana strode the room back and forth, trying to think of a solution.
"I've got it!" she cried. Diana quickly ran to the phone and dialed.
"Who're you calling?" Miriam asked.
"Katherine. Shh! It's ringing... Hi! Is Katherine there? Thanks." Diana received confused stares from the rest of the group. "Hey Katherine. We REALLY need your help. There's like, a TON of Girl Scouts outside of my house, waiting to pounce...Ok. Hurry up though. See you!"
"Why'd you call Katherine?" Gandalf asked, "I thought you were mad at her."
"I wasn't really mad at her. I was...well...it's a complicated emotion." A few minutes later, there was a knock at the back door. Diana answered it. Katherine was standing there, adorned in the Girl Scouts vest.
"Nice disguise." Jenna commented.
"Thanks." Katherine replied, "Anyways, here's the plan...
A/N: That chapter wasn't too good either, but you've got to stick with me! It will get better, I promise. I mean, we haven't even gotten to the chapter where we go on Mission Steal Orli's Boxers. Who wouldn't want to stick around for that???
A/N: If you're a girl scout, and you're proud of being a girl scout, and if people making fun of girl scouts offends you, DON'T READ THIS.
Chapter 9:Attack of the Girl Scouts
"How'd you Unicorns get here anyways?" Jenna asked while picking up a banana peel off the floor.
"It's a bit complicated." Unicorn #2 said, "It all starts with a mommy and a-"
"HEY!" Pippin and Homestar said in unison. They stared at each other in an angry stare-off. Homestar blinked first.
"HA!" Pippin cried triumphantly, "I win! The line is MINE!" Everyone rolled they're eyes. Pippin did a little victory dance. "WOOHOO!"
"When did we decide that?" Homestar asked.
"After the Angry Stare-Off. What, do you want to fight for it?" Pippin mocked.
"Ok."
"Dude, you don't have any arms." Jen H. said. (Homestar Runner is basically a marshmallow with legs and propeller cap)
"Yes I do." Homestar walked up to Pippin and punched him in his stomach. Pippin fell to the ground and had trouble breathing. When he tried to speak, his voice was high pitched.
"I don't think violence is the answer..." Pippin said in his weird voice.
"...It's the solution!" Miriam finished.
"No fighting!" Diana said, "I don't want to go to court because two fictional characters beat each other up. Besides, my parents would kill me."
"I thought you said that your parents would only be mentioned once in this story." Amanda said.
"Oh. Oops." They all continued to clean up while Pippin continued fighting with Homestar. (Though no blood was involved, sorry!) The Unicorns were too wasted to help, and as for the possum...well we won't go there.
"What's up with that possum anyways?" Merry asked.
"Well," said Unicorn #6, "The Possum threatened to replace our crack with pixy stix if we didn't take him along."
"Pixy Stix." Diana said, "Cause not every kid can afford crack."
"Riiiiiiiiiggggggggghhhhhhhhht...."
"Cleaning up this mess won't help with my complexion at all!" Legolas said in dismay.
"It's okay," Hanna said, "You look hott not matter what." She sighed.
"Uh, thanks...I think." Soon after, pounding was heard at the door. They all went to answer the door. Don't ask why it takes that many people to answer the door. But they all answered the door. But before they did, Diana peered out the door to see who was there, and her smile turned to a frown in a split second.
"Whatever you do, don't answer the-" Too late, again. Sam opened the door already. "-door."
"Hi, would you like to buy some cookies?" Three little girls, about the age of nine, stood on just beyond the door. The were dressed in the customary clothes of the horrid Girl Scouts.
Diana hurried toward the door. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. "NOOOO!" She leaped at Sam, knocking him to the ground before he could accept the offer. She got back up and faced the little devils. "*Lle naa vanima lle atara laniena!" She slammed the door closed.
"What was that for?" Boromir asked, "And since when can you speak elvish?"
"Hello, I'm only a S.O.L.F. member! It's required to know elvish." Diana said, "And those innocent looking girls were the evil girl scouts of doom. They reign terror on unsuspecting souls by overcharging them for really disgusting cookies."
"But I like the thin mints!" Jenny Penny said.
"Oh, but you don't understand." Diana said, "My mom-"
"That's the third time you've mentioned your parents." Adrienne said.
"Anyways, My mom made me join girl scouts and it was horrible! The troop leader was soooooooo mean. And none of the girls had any brain cells cause they were brainwashed by the evilness of the Girl Scout ways."
"Holy crap," Strong Bad muttered, "They're just a bunch of little girls!" Strong Bad opened the door and stepped outside. The others closed the door behind him to prevent the battalions of Girl Scouts to enter the house. Outside, phrases such as "GET THE BA*****!" were heard along with Strong Bad's screams. Five minutes later, Strong Bad was able to find a way back into the house.
"They all came out of nowhere!" He said in between sobs, "I couldn't stop them! It was horrible!" Jenna put a consoling arm around Strong Bad's shoulder.
Merry, Pippin and Amanda looked out the window. "Uh, they kind of stationed themselves outside your house." The Scouts had formed battle stations all around the house. They were armed with cookies and other Girl Scout things.
"We're doomed." Aragorn said, "I wasn't supposed to die this way!"
"I know." Jen H. said.
"How would you know?" Aragorn asked.
"I know A LOT about you." Aragorn took a few steps back.
"Well, what should we do?!" Gimli frantically asked. Diana strode the room back and forth, trying to think of a solution.
"I've got it!" she cried. Diana quickly ran to the phone and dialed.
"Who're you calling?" Miriam asked.
"Katherine. Shh! It's ringing... Hi! Is Katherine there? Thanks." Diana received confused stares from the rest of the group. "Hey Katherine. We REALLY need your help. There's like, a TON of Girl Scouts outside of my house, waiting to pounce...Ok. Hurry up though. See you!"
"Why'd you call Katherine?" Gandalf asked, "I thought you were mad at her."
"I wasn't really mad at her. I was...well...it's a complicated emotion." A few minutes later, there was a knock at the back door. Diana answered it. Katherine was standing there, adorned in the Girl Scouts vest.
"Nice disguise." Jenna commented.
"Thanks." Katherine replied, "Anyways, here's the plan...
A/N: That chapter wasn't too good either, but you've got to stick with me! It will get better, I promise. I mean, we haven't even gotten to the chapter where we go on Mission Steal Orli's Boxers. Who wouldn't want to stick around for that???