Un sot trouve toujours un plus sot qui l'admire – "A fool can always find a greater fool to admire him."
(L'Art poetique – [1674] Nicholas Boileau – Despreaux [1636-1711] )
Chapter 3 : Dreary
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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Newsies or related to the Newsies.
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The morning did not start so well.
As portrayed in the movie, Kloppman was up before the break of dawn yelling and screaming about "Carryin' da bannah!" as he went around waking everyone up. My ears rung at his intrusion and with a groan, buried my face into the thin pillow. Then, I heard the person beside me grunt. I looked up to see Racetrack, waking up from his slumber. Rubbing my eyes, I rolled out of bed and groped for my glasses that I had placed on the dresser beside me the night before. Funny, it wasn't as awkward as I had thought.
I watched with bleary eyes as the boys practically marched out of the room into another room in the back. I assumed that there was where all the 'washing up' take place.
"Boy, wai' fer me downstairs," Racetrack told me before he went off as well. I rolled my eyes and stood up, stretching lazily as I did so. Then, something was thrust into my arms. I looked up from the bundle to look questioningly at Kloppman.
"You'se kin wash up in deah," he told me, pointing to the small washroom that I had changed in last night. I nodded almost shyly before scooting my ass over to the small washroom and closed the door.
I chanced a glance in the mirror… and winced.
The messy short hair seemed crazier than usual. I shook my head and ran a hand through it in an attempt to flatten it. I scowled at my reflection. No such luck. Giving up for now, I turned my attention to the small bundle that Kloppman had given me. It was a toothbrush, a small cup and a small tube of toothpaste wrapped up in a washcloth. I raised my eyebrow. Toothbrush? Did they have toothbrushes then? What about toothpaste?
I stared at the items in hands, trying to find some answer that may lie in my brain somewhere. I've heard of this before somewhere… I frowned. I know there were companies that mass-produced toothbrushes around 1885 but what about toothpaste? I looked sceptically at the small tube of toothpaste. 'Let's see… Toothpaste was first placed into collapsible tubes in…1892 and Colgate was the first to mass-produce toothpaste in collapsible tubes in 1896. It's 1900 now but most Americans don't care much for dental hygiene around this time…' I frowned again. How the heck did Kloppman get his hands on such a thing like toothpaste with such a small income?
I answered my own question, 'It's the movie verse, DUH.' Ah…oh yes. How silly of me. What worried me was the fact that I actually knew when toothpastes and toothbrushes were invented. Dear Hermes. I AM going crazy.
I brushed and washed my face hastily. The toothpaste left a strange aftertaste in my mouth and the toothbrush's bristles were…not what I was used to. After smoothing my hair as best I could with water, I stepped out of the washroom and made my way downstairs. Only a few of the newsies had exited. I assumed that the others were still getting ready. I had to grin to myself as I leaned against the banister of the stairs. 'Women. Just like women. Taking their own sweet time…'
Finally, there were more sounds of footsteps as the rest of the newsies clambered down the stairs. I greeted Racetrack and Blink then, was introduced to Mush. The four of us then headed for what would guess to be, the Distribution office. The infamous Jack Kelly joined our little troupe minutes later.
"Oh! Boy, dis is fer ya. Kloppman told me ta give it ta ya," Racetrack told me, handing me a newsies hat that everybody else wore except for Cowboy himself of course. I took it from him with thanks and slapped it on my head, pulling down the front to shield my eyes.
"Kloppman loiks ya!" Mush teased and I shrugged. The old man was a little strange.
"Mush, don't tease goils," Jack told him. I rolled my eyes, "Couldn't you treat me like one of you guys?" Jack regarded me with a raised eyebrow before shrugging and chose not to pursue the matter. Instead, he started talking about something else, much to everybody else's displeasure.
"I'se gonna go see Sara' taday," he replied proudly. Blink, Racetraack and Mush groaned in unison. Jack looked at them with an almost innocent look plastered on his face, "Wat? I'se gonna go see Sara' taday. She gonna make me lunch."
"Jack, she a'ways makes you lunch," said Mush with a snort and rolled his eyes. Jack looked slightly deflated, "Yeah, so?"
"So we'se know already! Stop tellin' us," replied Blink, adjusting his eye patch. Jack made a face, "You'se jis' jealous." Blink looked somewhat insulted, "No I ain't!" The two then proceeded to shoot back insults and comments back and forth. That was, until Racetrack stopped them.
"'Ey! Stoppit! Look deah!" Racetrack told them, pointing towards a small red brick building. I looked over.
It was a girl but not just any girl. Beneath those long skirts was a figure that any men could have hoped for. She was shapely, busty with a head of beautiful brown curls that seemed to shine when the sun reflected off it. I managed to look at her face as she looked around, obviously waiting for someone from the way she was standing and the impatient fidgeting of her hands. She reminded me of a porcelain doll. The pale white face covered by an enormous hat and her red lips were more than enough to send boys chasing after her like dogs.
"It's Emily," said Racetrack in an almost dreamy way. I raised an eyebrow when Mush and Blink let out a sign in an almost same manner.
"Taday's da day," said Mush, sticking out his chest, "I'se gonna ask her out." There was a collective gasp and I rolled my eyes. Mush however, strode forward in the direction of the porcelain doll while the rest of us hung back, watching this so called great feat. The minute he approached her however, I could tell that there was trouble. She was eyeing him with a suspicious look on her face and her features and expressions spoke of distaste. We watched as Mush bowed to the lady and said something.
Whatever that something was, it must have been pretty insulting for he returned to us, face down, right cheek red with the slight imprint of the porcelain doll's hand. We laughed at the humiliating rejection that he had received.
"Mush me boy," I said, wrapping an arm around his neck with an almost casual manner. Damn. I was getting comfortable around them already and all it took was someone to screw up with asking another girl out! They all looked at me with raised eyebrows and I smiled, "That's no way to snatch a woman's heart my friend. Shall I teach you a lesson in the arts of wooing?" Mush snorted, "You'se a goil."
"Yeah but she doesn't know that," I replied, fixing the hat then, with a wink, I set off towards my target. As I walked however, I heard snickers behind me. Racetrack was already calling bets.
If anything, I ignored them. They were now, a distraction. My target lies ahead. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm very interested in men and have never shown much of an interest towards the same sex. However, even back home, there are times when I would try to woo a woman just for the fun of it. Of course, the fact that none of my guy friends had ever landed much of a girl added to the humour. I was their dating guru.
"'Scuse me miss," I said politely, tipping my hat slightly. She nodded at me, lips pursed into a thin line as she observed me with hawk like eyes. I drew up my courage and my best imitation of Racetrack's accent, "I'se gots a problem miss." I then looked up at her shyly, "Could you'se…'haps 'elp me?" To add to the act, I fidgeted slightly, showing that I'm all too nervous to be talking to her.
Her steel like exterior cracked…but just slightly, "It depends I suppose." I held out my hand, "Kin you'se 'old out ya hand?" After a minute of considering and a bit more of my shy and nervous innocent boy act, she gave it to me, palm up.
"Okay… see. There's a riva'," I drew a line across her palm, "an' deah's dis bunny heah." I pointed to the half of her hand on one side of the 'river' closest to her thumb.
"Yes?" her expression grew confused. Wondering why I was asking such a question perhaps.
"How'se do da bunny gits across?" I asked innocently, frowning at her palm as if in deep concentration. The girl gave me a strange look before she tried to tackle the problem with an air of casualness that's almost snobby, "The bunny could just hop across."
"No miss," said I in a 'cute' voice, shaking my head, "Dis be a riva'! If da bunny 'ops 'cross it, it goes glup glup glup and drowns!" The girl gave a small laugh as her eyes twinkled in my direction.
Creepy.
"What if the bunny was to find a bridge?" she asked. I shook my head, "Ain't no bridges miss." And so, for the next seconds, it continued until finally after I ran out of cute answers and she ran out of solutions. She said, in a frustrated tone, "Then tell me good sir. How did the bunny cross the river if you are so intent to prove my intelligence?" I looked up at her with big eyes and innocence painted across my face.
"I'se don't know miss. I'se jis' wanna 'old ya hand," said I. The girl blushed a beautiful shade of crimson before she retrieved her hand almost hesitantly.
"I'm Emily. Emily Kirswan," said she in an almost shy manner. I smiled, "I'se…Mush. Mush Myers." SCORE!
She nodded and looked at her skirts shyly before she looked up and past my shoulder. She turned back to me, smiling, "I'm sorry Mush but I have to go. My father is calling me. Perhaps we shall meet again." I nodded and stayed where I was until she was out of sight. Then, I turned and walked back towards the foursome, head high, chest out and a haughty smirk plastered across my face.
"You'se gotta teach me 'ow ta do dat," said Blink gloomily as the laughing Racetrack took his fifty cents. I had to grin.
"Women flock to me like fruit flies to a candied apple," I paused then laughed, "it's the men that I have trouble with." Blink snorted and I returned my attention back to the crestfallen Mush, "Ah don't worry about it. I told her that I'm you so next time she comes around asking, she'll be asking for your name."
He seemed to be cheered slightly of this fact as the five of us started walking again but as we walked, I couldn't help but feel as if he was shooting me venomous looks behind my back. I ignored it however, and focused my attention on Racetrack and Blink while Jack and Mush conversed. Kid Blink, I found, was just like one of my guy friends back home so I welcomed his company. He was a reminder that I probably haven't lost my mind if I was to remember what my past life was like. Racetrack…well Racetrack was puffing away on his cigar the entire time so I avoided him. (I can't stand the smell of cigar smoke…)
"Well Boy? We're heah," said Racetrack, dropping the used cigarette butt and crushing it into the ground with his foot. I looked up.
It was the distribution office.
In all its glory…
"You'se gonna sell papes?" Blink asked, sticking his hands into his pockets. I paused, thinking to myself before shaking my head, "Not unless you can get me a job somewhere else." Racetrack raised an eyebrow sceptically, "some w'eah else?" I rolled my eyes, "Yes. Somewhere else. Besides, even if I did agree to sell papers today, I don't have any money."
"I'se kin spot you some," Blink offered. I made a face, "I'm not really too keen on accepting another's charity." Blink looked offended and stalked off. I blinked. That comment wasn't…too offensive was it?
"Ya choice," Racetrack muttered before he chased after Blink. I stood there, outside the gates of the distribution office looking confused. What had I said that had been so offensive? With a scowl, I stuck my hands into the pant pockets like Blink had done and stalked off the other way, away from the distribution centre. My mind raced as I thought furiously.
'Stupid asses. What the hell did I say? Bah! Who needs them anyways? I can find work by myself, stupid jackasses. Just watch me. I'll hit it off big then rub it in their faces…stupid stupid stupid…people! Just like women. So damned sensitive…' As I thought, my legs suddenly grew a mind and started walking in whatever direction that they chose. A dark cloud floated above my head as I sulked. My mind came up with a barrage of insults that I would like to throw at their faces.
Soon however, I grew tired of being angry and sat myself down on the sidewalk. I observed as life passed me by and my mind strained to think. I no longer concentrated on my sanity issue or why I was here. Instead, I focused my energy on finding a job and perhaps establishing temporary quarters. After Kloppman hears about me walking away from the distribution office empty handed, he would certainly kick me out. As he had mentioned, only newsies were allowed in the boarding house.
I scowled again. Stupid rules.
So I sat. Thinking and brainstorming a list of my abilities and what kinds of jobs that could be made available. I came up with nothing. Absolutely nothing. That was, until some random pedestrian mentioned Irving Hall as he walked pass with his friends.
That's it! After all, the only other people in the movie mentioned that were kind to the newsies were Davey's parents, Kloppman, Medda and Denton. I could write and read very well. Not only that but received an education that could top all of those spineless idiots. I pulled my hat down over my eyes and stood up, dusting off my pants.
First, the Sun, then, Irving Hall. If I can't get a job as some kind of journalist or reporter, I would head for Medda and beg for her to give me some kind of job.
"Scuse me sir?" I asked. The man spun around to face me. He eyed me with a sense of distrust and suspicion, "What is it boy?"
"Could you direct me to building of the Sun? The…urm… publishing premises for," before I could finish my sentence, I was interrupted rudely by him, "I know what the Sun is. Head down that way and turn right until you see a large building." With those words, he was off. As I watched his retreating back, I made a face, "Rude bastard." Regardless, I headed down the street, looking for Denton's office.
However, you can imagine, that due to my poor sense of direction, I was again lost amidst the bustling crowd of people. I was roughly shoved to one side as a particularly portly gentleman pushed his way through. From the flushed cheeks and the manner in which he carried himself, he was in a hurry. Then with a start, I realized who it was. Mr. Wisely. I stared after him, transfixed and amazed. Mr. Wisely. What do you know? He grew fatter.
"Move boy!" someone snarled and I was roughly shoved to one side again. I scowled, dusting myself off and looked up to come face to face with another familiar face.
Oh shit.
Oscar Delancey.
What the hell? He was just…staring at me. Finally, I snapped, "What? What do you want? I moved already."
"Who's you'se?" demanded he, "I'se nevah seen a newsie like you'se 'round heah before!" I flinched under his intense gaze and attempted to reply in a New York accent, "I'se ain't no newsie!" He sneered.
"Yeah? Notta' newsie? Whose hat you'se steal boy?" He shoved me again. This time, I tripped and fell into a not so conveniently placed alleyway.
Oh double shit.
"Who's you'se?" sneered Delancey again. I struggled to get up but he shoved me yet again, causing me to loose my balance. I felt my elbows rub against the tough concrete, the friction causing it to in a sense, burn a hole through Racetrack's shirt. Shit, he's going to be mad.
"Now look here!" I abandoned the attempted accent, "Have I done anything to offend you sir? No? Then kindly leave me be!" He looked at me with mild surprise before his expression changed into one that was of horrible hatred, "You'se one of dem hoity-toity boys!" I looked confused, "What? Oh…that was an insult wasn't it?" I got up to my feet in an almost drunken manner.
"Alright. Look. I don't have time for this. Don't you want to beat me up? Cause if you're just going to beat me up, get it over with. I'm in a hurry," I snarled. I was loosing my calmness. First Kloppman woke up me up by yelling. Then, I found out Mush's hatred for my existence, Blink brush me off for some insult that I didn't make and Racetrack just left me there. Afterwards, I was shoved and pushed by Wisely and now, this stupid ape. It's enough to drive anybody mad.
"What?" said he, obviously confused by my reaction. I scowled, "You want to hit me right? So hit me already. I don't have all day ya know? Now c'mon!" He looked at me cautiously, "Who's you'se?"
"Boy," I replied with such simplicity and an air of casualness that I scared myself. He looked at me before he started to laugh, "Dat's it? You'se name's Boy?" I scowled, "Seems like that's what everybody is calling me despite my gender. Now kindly punch me or move out of the damned way!"
"Despoite ya what?" he asked, a wave of confusion rushing over his face. I scowled. This was getting old really quickly.
"My gender. I'm female. A girl?" He stared at me with wide eyes, hardly believing my words. With a frustrated sigh and a deflated self-esteem, I pushed past him and dove into the crowd.
The day just keeps getting worse doesn't it?
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End of Chapter 3
AnGel: *gives you a hug* Thanks for the review! That and for adding me to your favourite's list! *glomp*
Cerridwen: Yeah, I hate it when that happens. _ Heh heh heh. I liked the bunking together concept too. *perverted wink* Thanks for reviewing!