Chapter 34: The decision
There is always a moment in a man's life in which he feels the need to do the right thing. Whether it was to compensate his sins or just because the people in need of his help deserved it, I cannot tell. It is beyond my knowledge to comprehend why Severus Snape- Hogwarts most dreadful Potion's Master- knocked on Dumbledore's door that morning as calm as he had never been during his years as a professor at England's only and most prestigious school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
The weather outside was cold enough for snow and he was glad to be under a cosy roof. It was unlike him to reflect about the weather outside but he knew in his heart that the time would come when he would miss the dungeons in the middle of winter when the cold woke him from his nightmares. He had never thought about it but more than actually waking up beside Hermione after a long night of love, he was going to miss the subtle contact his body had with hers when they subconsciously seek for human warm. Yes, he was going to miss that.
He moved his head from side to side frantically as if trying to erase all thoughts not related to Dumbledore's scheme. He was worried. What if Dumbledore would allow him to poison him? Would the Wizarding World surrender under the terror of knowing that the only wizard in the world capable of facing evil in the face was no longer alive? The more he thought about killing Dumbledore, the more he understood that winning the final battle between Hogwarts staff and Lucius' Death Eaters without Dumbledore was an impossible task to fulfil.
But then again without Dumbledore's death, Lucius would order Severus and Hermione's because Lucius Malfoy comprehended since the mirror incident that torturing Hermione Granger in front of an impotent Severus who can do nothing to save her loved one from dying was something he quite look forward to in his sleepless nights.
We can, therefore, assume that Severus was not only anxious about what the most important wizard in the world had to say but also quite distressed about the situation in which he found himself into. Nothing good comes from a war because death is always around the people one loves and that is a terrible thing even if one blindly believes in the principles of a war against the evil.
Severus Snape entered Dumbledore's office as he had done thousand of times in his life. This time, however, was different. And they could feel it in the air.
"I will not let you," Severus said in his soft voice, determined enough to convince Dumbledore of a plan he knew nothing about.
"I am sorry, my dear Severus, you will not let me do what exactly?," the old man sitting behind a large wooden desk asked with a wise smile plastered on his lips. One thing I have always admired about the elder is their ability to smile about most things for they have experienced many of the troubles that make our present so bitter and their wisdom relaxes the young ones giving them hope. And believe me when I say that Dumbledore's smile gave Severus hope.
"I will not let you die for us all; I will not poison you for the Order," he calmly said, as if trying not to seem so interested in Dumbledore's death, as if he did not care about the old man at all.
"I will not die. Not today, and possibly not because of Lucius Malfoy," he said with the same smile.
Severus smirked sarcastically.
"What do you suggest then?," he dared ask, more confident now, while he walked all the way from the door to the seat in which he had sat during many meetings.
"My sweet child, I suggest you to stop worrying about me and start worrying about your own health. You look quite shabby, Severus, have you been neglecting the House Elves Kidney Pie?," he jokily asked but the look on Severus' face warned him to stop, "Well, I am afraid that Potion's is your area of expertise, Severus. What do you have in store for me?,"
"I do not quite understand, sir. I thought you said you did not want to die…?," Severus tried to explain, but he was soon interrupted by Dumbledore's finger who indicated him to bring to a close his statement.
"Severus… not only do I not want to die but I want to prevent deaths and in order to do that we need a Potion suitable for the scheme I have planned. I need a Potion that will save us all," he finally said and then with the same smile that had given Severus hope minutes ago, he told him all the details concerning his plan.
When Severus Snape left Dumbledore's office exactly twenty minutes after the start of their conversation, his heart was invaded with contradictory emotions. On the one hand, he was relief. Now he knew. But on the other hand, he was extremely concerned about the safety of the people at Hogwarts. If something went wrong- and God knew it could- all their heads would be on the line. He smiled though he rarely grinned in public. Yes. They all needed Dumbledore's smile so he was going to treasure it in his memory. He had a feeling he was going to need hope soon. And make no mistake: he was not wrong.
He kept walking once he had reached the narrow corridors that led to Hogwarts Great Hall where breakfast was being served. Hermione's face would make him happy stronger and braver. But just when he was about to reach the secret stairs- only known by Hogwarts Professor's- to the Head Table, the bell rang indicated Severus that he had Potion's to teach.
Frustrated and angry he turned around and started walking towards the dungeons.
He had not even walked ten inches when he felt an excruciating pain in his heart; something was wrong. Strangely enough, his feet moved for themselves and walked all the way to the Great Hall where oddly enough Hermione Granger was waiting, tears running down her face.
"Why did you skip Charms, Miss Granger?," he asked in his Professor's voice.
"I...I was so worried," she started to say, sobbing uncontrollably. That was enough to melt the hard icy surface surrounding Severus Snape. He was not his usual self around her but a more protective version of the Dark Potion's Master that he pretended to be at Hogwarts. He sat beside her and searched for her hand under the table, as if they were only six years old and extremely ashamed of demonstrating love in public.
"Everything is going to be alright, my love. You needn't worry. You will be more than safe" he said in his softest voice while rubbing her knuckles.
"It is not my safety I am apprehensive of," she confessed squeezing his hand really hard.
And it was in that moment that he, for the first time in his life, lost all ability to speak. Surrendering to the fact that no logical statements would come out of his mouth, he embraced her with both his arms as hard as he could as if certain that if he squeezed her really hard, no one would dare take her away from him.
"I love you," he simply said after a while of hearing Hermione's sobs and feeling that he would take it no longer, he ignored his brain's instructions to omit words.
"I love you too," she said kissing his neck fondly.
When the bell rang, some four hours later for lunch, students of all houses were amazed to find the Dark Potion's Master hugging Hermione Granger- his wife- as if no one was there.
Love has the amazing quality of making us forget all about time for it is such an amazing feeling that it goes beyond minutes and seconds. And so when a crowd of students gathered to watch, they did not break the union for they had nothing to be ashamed of.
"I have had enough. I will no more try to find her hand under the table," he thought, "If we survive, I am going to properly make Hermione Granger my wife,"
AN: Hey… First of all; thanks for your awesome reviews. I have something to say about them though. My chapters are not short; my chapters are- most of the times- equally large; if you didn't have a problem with it in the past, why now? Bloody hell; I write more than 1000 words per chapter and we are on chapter 34 by now!
Apart from that, everything is fine. My livejournal "site" is: www.livejournal.com/users/florws/ to those who wish to get to know me better and my deepest secrets ;)
And please, read and review! It's very important for me to know your opinion right now because the story is about to end.
So…well… here it is; chapter 34… enjoy!