Rating: Should be okay.
Disclaimer: I only own the Stew Pid stuff.
A/N: I saved the best for last. This is my personal favorite. I almost can't believe it was me who wrote it. Enjoy. It's short.
I sit in a quaint little Connecticut house in the middle of small-town America. The town of Stars-Hollow probably doesn't have a population over 300 but it may soon be on the map due to one inhabitant already on his way to fame, the inhabitant in whose mother's house I now drink coffee. He first dazzled the east coast with his boyish good looks and swift Gene Kelly dance steps in the blockbuster indie smash Mr. Postman. His next role will be starring as jujitsu fighting Mary Kay Salesperson Dirk Leclerc in this summer's Don't Mess with My Makeup. US Talks with Kirk.
Us: What was it like preparing for your new movie?
Kirk: Actually, there wasn't much preparation involved because I completely identified with the character. Totally the same qi.
Us: How so?
Kirk: Well, I've worked at Stars Hollow Beauty Supply for a good many months. I even have my own line of beauty products. See www.beautifullikekirk.com for details. As for jujitsu I was a junior black belt in kirkate-chi-tsu-do.
Us: Kirkate-chi-tsu-do?
Kirk: An advanced method of self-defense that combines the disciplines of karate, tai chi, jujitsu, akeido, and tae kwon do.
Us: Interesting. Under whose training did you study kirkate-chi-tsu-do?
Kirk: Master Cat Kirk.
Us: You come from a very small town. How are you making out with this sudden celebrity?
Kirk: I see Brooke Shields caved and told you about it. For the record, I deny the allegations.
Us: What?
Kirk: I'm glad you get my drift. I mean, she tried but she was just too short for my taste.
Us: Anyway, do you feel fame has changed you in any way?
Kirk: No. I'm still the same old Kirk I always was. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to clear the house for the 4 o' clock tour. It was nice talking to you.
The alarm goes off and he wakes up. He rubs his eyes and looks around the familiar room. He sighs. It was just a dream. He gets up and dressed, and goes downstairs to sweep the floors and open the diner. Flicking on the radio, Mr. Postman plays. It was just a dream, he repeats to himself, a very bad dream.
The Final A/N: So things have come full circle now. Ten is a nice round number to end with. Again, I really enjoyed posting here. I hope this stuff does something for somebody. I will take this opportunity to say that while I now admit I am no writer, I remain a reader. My favorites, I know you and I will keep up with your stuff. But generally, if you're writing a fic, a newbie maybe, and you're not sure about it and would like to get a second opinion, there's always a Stew Pid opinion. Feel free to email. Though I should say that you shouldn't worry about it. I have found this group to be very supportive and merciful. Go for it! Now I have a lot of paper to fill those clear recycling bags with. Take care! And THANKS!!!