10 or More ways to Lose Hojou

Author's Note: Thank you for being so patient. Hope you like it... remember, today marks the beginning of WACKY! Nothing will make sense from here on in... well, maybe a few chapters here and there, but everything else is just plain WIERD.

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Kagome woke up in a strange bed she had never been on in her life. She was about to panic, when she felt an arm on her stomach.

You have two arms... she thought to herself. So, whose is that?

She heard a male groan beside her, and she remembered what had happened the day before.

'Right...I'm engaged!'

Kagome huffed in anger, and sat up. She was about to walk over to where she last saw the bathroom, but her arm didn't seem to comply with the rest of her body.

"What the hell-?"

"Good morning, koishii"

She glared at the half-naked arrogant hanyou. Refusing to make eye contact, she stared at the pillows.

"Cold shoulder?" Inuyasha asked. "Your fault."

" My fault?!?!" Kagome screamed, inwardly smiling at the pain she inflicted on his poor, sensitive, sexy... 'NO!'

She marched up towards him, and started to jab his chest with her finger.

"Look here, Mr. I'm-better-than-you!" she started, her voice dangerously low. "I apologized! I just needed someone who can get Hojou off my back! I got that, so thank you, but I'll be leaving now!"

Kagome tried to leave, but the chains held her close to her 'enemy'. Turning back, she saw Inuyasha smirking at her.

"Key, please."

Inuyasha shook his head. "Oh no baby," he started huskily. "There is no key."

Kagome gaped at him, and screamed with anger. " What do you mean there's no key?!?!?!"

Inuyasha flinched, thanking whatever entity was up there that he had sound-proofed his walls long ago.

" I'm chained to an arrogant puppy who has a lunatic stalker ready to kill me, and you're telling me that you ain't go no key?!"

"Calm down."

" OH, don't you f-!"

Before she could say anything, Inuyasha pressed his lips tightly onto hers, muffling her every scream and swear word. Kagome tried to push him off of her, but half of her brain shut down immediately, loving every minute of his attention.

'What the hell am I thinking?!'

Inuyasha finally let her go, and smiled. "See, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

Kagome kept silent, still trying to catch her breath. 'Jerk' she thought. She noticed that the chains disappeared, and she looked at him strangely.

"Wh...How?"

Inuyasha shrugged. "It's meant to keep us together... but when we do become...*erm* close..." he started. "it temporarily goes away, it'll come back in a few hours."

Kagome blushed, and muttered a silent thank you. Without warning, she ran towards the nearest bathroom and locked herself in.

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Inuyasha took a deep breath, and tried to gather his thoughts. He loved having the woman near him... she smelled so heavenly... yet a part of him wanted to stay clear from her. It didn't want to be hurt again...

Something was needed.

'A test!'

The gears in his mind began to turn, and a plan popped up. He dropped his plans on revenge, and decided to 'woo' her for real.

'Might as well...' he thought sadly, looking at the glass case. ' I only have a few more centuries left'

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Hojou walked the hallways with a tight frown on his face. He felt that something wasn't right about Kagome and Inuyasha-sama's relationship. The sight that had greeted him yesterday was not pretty.

He had decided to visit his beloved, to give her a 'break-up' present from his heart. Of course, he had assumed that she would be doing her homework, but she wasn't even home!

There were so many things missing from her closet as well.

It was very curious.

"Hojou-kun!"

He turned, and saw Kagura running towards him. He grimaced, not really feeling right to be seen with her.

In his heart, he would only truly love Kagome... besides... the woman was insane!

"Kagura-san," he said politely.

Kagura latched onto him, and held his arm in between her breasts. Hojou rolled his eyes, knowing she was trying to seduce him.

"Hojou-kun... you know what really turns me on?" she asked innocently.

"Orlando Bloom?"

Kagura looked at him blankly.

"Um... other than him..." she said.

"Johnny Depp?"

Kagura frowned. "You always ruin my fun!"

Hojou sighed. 'If only she could remember that she asks me this every day...'

In the corner of his eyes, he saw one of the Youkai gang leaders walking towards him.

"Ah! Sesshoumaru-dono!"

He nodded slightly, and kept on walking. Hojou, not knowing when to back off, decided to follow the stoic youkai lord.

"What do you think you are doing?" Sesshoumaru asked, not bothering to turn around.

"Well, Sesshoumaru-dono, I was merely following you in case you were in need of something," he said cheerfully, making Sesshoumaru flinch by his sudden light mood.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Sesshoumaru-sama!"

Hojou stared blankly at the new student that seemed to follow his 'idol' everywhere. He was a short, green-complexioned youkai.

'I think he is in desperate need of a bath' Hojou thought, cringing inwardly.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! I have your dress!"

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Kagome left the bathroom, cautiously. She cursed inwardly at her stupidity. She didn't bring any clothes with her. So obviously, she didn't want to be caught wearing nothing but a thin towel!

As she entered Inuyasha's room, she failed to notice that he hadn't really left since she ran to take a bath.

She left the towel fall on the floor, and she began to search Inuyasha's closet for any loose clothing.

"Why bother changing, you look hot!"

Kagome screamed, and tried to hide. Without anything, she began to throw things at him.

There went the pillow.

And the vase.

And the speaker.

And the computer.

Sharp clawed cat.

Daggers.

Wagon of ripley's freaks

"STOP!"

Kagome opened her eyes, and became worried when she saw Inuyasha underneath a pile of broken things.

"Ohmigosh! Are you okay? I'm so sorry!" she said, not noticing that she was still nude.

Inuyasha stared at her dreamily. "I really won't mind being tied down to you"

Kagome growled, and threw the first thing that her hands came across. Which, sad to say, was Inuyasha's sword.

His eyes became wide as it glowed a bright blue.

"NO! DON'T! I DIDN'T GET INSURANCE YET!!!!!!!!"

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"Naraku.."

"Yes, Dear Kikyou?"

"Do you think I'm pretty?"

"Yes."

"Prettier than Kagura?"

"Definitely."

"What about Kagome?"

"Uh... sure?"

"Halle Berry?"

"Hell no."

Author's Note: ^^ Friend of mine wanted that last scene. Must say, if you say it out loud, it sounds soooooooo funny. Make sure you say 'Hell No' in a very feminine way.

TBC

Only 9 chapters left until the END!