Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Hi all I'm sorry about this but I was informed by a reader that what I wrote the last time was inaccurate coz UK has free med care from the NHS. There's no such thing as the insurance thing I stuck in. So I decided to change the story abit, mainly the part where Harry is situated in a storage room. I realised how unlikely an event that is and it's as if I were deliberately trying to make Harry suffer. So this is the newer (hopefully better) version. Thanks Sophie for telling me about it.
* *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** *
"Eo ire itum!" Harry gasped out as he neared the twin entwining snakes mounted on the wall.
The snakes' eyes glowed with sapphire luminescence before shifting, gliding to the edges of a thin frame of braided silver. The wall before him seemed to dissolve and revealed a doorway into which he stepped.
Harry let his eyes adjust to the light as he took in his surroundings.
The luxurious room had surprised him on his first visit. Previously, he had never imagined that the austere potions master had such comfortable and lavish furnishings. The richness of the colours, deep wall to wall carpeting and such extravagance in adornment did not seem fitting with his former impressions of the professor. Indeed with the passing of time they had come to know each other much better. Only then had Harry realised how different the man was from the cold figure he had imagined him to be.
"Professor!" He called out to the empty room.
Curiously there was no reply, he fidgeted uncomfortably. He felt awkward and out of place in his gilded surroundings, he was more at home with simple lines and modest furniture. And it was the first time he was alone in that room, the silence was eerie.
"Perhaps Laurie made a mistake?" He wondered worriedly after a few minutes, "Snape will think I'm breaking in..."
Snape was a private man and he would not welcome this intrusion. Harry was thinking of leaving when the door to the inner chambers crashed open and the sound of voices drifted through. The face of his potions professor registered such surprise at the sight of him that Harry blushed and began to apologize profusely for interrupting.
Snape took a few moments to compose himself and reassured Harry by saying, "No, it's alright. I sent for you. I just didn't think you'd get here to early. It is a Hogsmeades weekend. And I..."
Before he could continue a familiar face appeared behind Snape's shoulder, drowning out the words from Harry's ears. The teenager stared, then disbelief giving way to complete happiness, he launched himself into the arms of the newcomer.
"Harry!" The man exclaimed delightedly, wrapping his arms around the effeminate frame.
"What are you doing here Sirius?" Harry exclaimed after a few moments, "Not that I'm complaining but... Is it something for Dumbledore?"
"Harry... I..." Sirius suddenly looked weary and troubled.
Harry glanced at him, suddenly concerned. Sirius wasn't looking very well, it was apparent that he had not had a decent meal for a long time. He looked gaunt and tired lines had carved their mark on his face.
"Harry, I told him what happened." Snape interjected.
"About what?" Harry asked, almost absently as he turned to the professor.
Then he blanched and carefully removed his arms from around his godfather's waist. When he spoke again Harry seemed so fearful that Snape flinched, "As in..."
"Yes, I told him what happened last summer." Snape said and added in a half whisper, "What has been going on for a long time."
"But you said..." Harry muttered brokenly.
"I know I ... Oh god Harry. I'm sorry." Snape blurted out, "But he's your godfather, he has a right to know."
Harry had withdrawn from the other two, his hands clenched into fists. Then he burst out.
"But you promised. I knew I shouldn't have told you. I can't trust you. You think your helping but... You had no right to tell. Who else? You said I didn't have to, now more people know. I don't want people to worry. I am such a waste of time. I deserve this. They'll find him. Sirius, they'll find you here! You have to go. Don't do this, not for me... I always get people into trouble..."
Sirius stepped over and gently drew the incoherent angel into his arms. Slowly, Harry stopped his rambling and began to calm down. The violent trembling of his body subsiding.
The older man asked anxiously, "Harry are you alright? Why didn't you tell me? I could have..."
Immediately, Harry drew away a second time, smiling blankly, eyes unreadable, "Sirius, I'm fine. Really I am."
Sirius exchanged a baffled glance with the potions master. He soothed gently, "Harry it's all right. I'm here, why don't you talk to me?"
"About what? There's nothing to talk about really." Harry looked genuinely perplexed for a second, then brightening, inquired, "What have you been up to? I missed you so much."
Severus couldn't bear it and silently motioned that he was going to leave the room. Sirius nodded absently, his attention on his godson, the anxiety apparent in his eyes.
* *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** *
Severus' POV
Severus retreated to his inner chambers, he felt guilty but at the same time relieved like he had unloaded a huge burden from his chest. He wasn't good with words, he never was. And he had no idea how to handle this situation. Having Harry confide in him just made him feel awkward and angry at his helplessness. It was at the back of his mind that he knew that he was pushing the responsibility away. He was afraid that he wouldn't be able to cope and his first instinct was to get someone else to take over.
"Sirius would be good for Harry. A father figure, one I can never live up to. Sirius is what Harry needs." Severus tried to convince himself.
When Harry began telling him about his experiences, Severus had no idea of the extent of the abuse. The damage done to the frail body should have cued him in, but he was unable to accept the physical evidence. He was caught unprepared when Harry revealed the truth. What Harry had said completely shocked him to the core, for a moment he thought that Harry was making it up. It was a reflex not from the old bias but rather an inability to comprehend that a child had been treated in such a way, by his own relatives nonetheless. The cruelty was unfathomable.
However, what was more frightening was the way Harry seemed to talk with such clarity and detail about what happened and stay so emotionless. There were no feelings involved when Harry was relating the instances, it almost seemed like he was recalling the facts in a textbook. He appeared as if he were draining away the emotions by abstracting his problems. This detachment was confusing to say the least.
Severus sighed wearily, rubbing the bridge of his nose between his fingers. He sat watching the fire for a long while before he finally got up with the intention of pouring himself a G&T.
As an afterthought, he replaced the tonic in his glass cabinet and took only the bottle of gin over to his seat. He swigged a mouthful straight from the bottle, wincing as it scorched his throat. The second swallow went down smoother. He could felt the alcohol course through his veins, like fingers of fire flickering to the surface of his skin. And he sat there. Remembering.
* *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** *
"Are you his father?" The nurse drawled, casually flicking off a piece of lint from her crumpled uniform.
He was in a muggle hospital. A rather rundown one by the looks of it. There were coffee cups crusted over from yesterday's brew stacked in the corner with a hot water dispenser carrying a crooked 'out-of-order' sign. The small room reeked from the metallic odour of blood and an equally unpleasant smell of strong bleach. The counter before him was stained by a mysterious brownish substance that Severus reverently hoped was coffee. He was currently separated from the nurse by thick bars of steel and bullet proof glass.
"Must be a very rough neighbourhood," Severus thought to himself before answering, "No, an uncle."
The nurse sighed and put down a rather limp and soggy sandwich, getting mayonnaise over her thumb. Inserting her thumb into her mouth, she took the counterfeit documents that he handed over with her other hand and gave them a cursory glance before returning them to him with a nonchalant "If you say so."
She removed the thumb, wiped it on her uniform and waved him on dismissively.
"Which room?" Severus bit out, barely hiding his disgust.
"Down the corridor. Last door on the right." She said without looking up.
He made his way down the hallway, wondering, "What the hell did Potter get himself into this time?"
It was a standard hospital room. The walls painted a ghastly green, obviously from some misguided individual who believed that it would 'brighten' up the room. Personally Severus preferred the more traditional white layout. The present scheme cast a sickly gleam to everything in the room, even the bedsheets took on a mildewed appearance.
It was Potter alright, there's no mistaking the hair and scar, the only parts visible above the sheets. The form within the white sheets was still. It looked impossibly small.
"But then the bed is quite large," Severus reminded himself.
"Sir?" A shy voice interrupted his contemplation.
He looked up to find a gawky teenager at the entrance of the room, he raised his eyebrow in inquiry. As she came closer, he noticed the label 'Student Nurse' half peeling off the front of her uniform. He cleared his throat and asked rather irritably, "Yes?"
"Well...I... I'm not supposed to be doing this but..."
He waited impatiently for her to continue but his attention was more on the form lying in the bed. When it was obvious she was waiting for some kind of response, he half snarled, "Do what? Speak up girl."
She flinched at his harsh tone but handed over a medical chart as she explained, "The doctors here can't seem to find anything really wrong with him. But it doesn't make sense, there must be something otherwise he wouldn't be in such a condition. His pulse is weak and his blood pressure dangerously low. I... well this is stupid... but I was hoping..."
He tuned her out and scanned through the doctor's careless scrawls. All pretty minor injuries. Bruising and slight lacerations. 'Gang Fighting' was scrawled over the base of the chart by a different hand. It was underlined several times by a thick black marker. Severus frowned slightly. The injuries were inconsistent with those of face to face fighting. Whatever it was, Potter was not the aggressor.
"So it was a gang fight?" He demanded.
"Oh... that's what his uncle said when they brought him here. His other uncle I mean..." She replied nervously.
He glanced at the intimidated girl and softened his tone, "Where are his uncle now?"
"I... I don't know... They never came..." She looked slightly bewildered.
He pulled back the sheets slightly and took hold of a limp hand. The form did not stir. There. These were signs of self defense. The cuts on the palms and wrists. As he was returning the hand to Potters side, he noticed that the slight pressure of his hand on the wrist had caused the cuts to bleed.
"Strange." Severus mused, "The cuts are so shallow, the blood should have clotted by now."
"That's what I meant..."
He threw a look that silenced her. He leaned closer to the unconscious body and frowned, perplexed, the erratic and shallow breathing he noted were further indications that something was very wrong with the equation.
"The injuries are so minor, why is he unconscious? A blow to the head?" He considered to himself.
He ran his fingers gently along the scalp, feeling for bumps or wounds. Severus scowled as his search proved unsuccessful. There was only one other explanation.
"Sir?" The nurse asked, baffled by his behaviour.
"But it's not possible. No one can cast concealing charms while still unconscious. He can't be that powerful... but there's no other way." Severus pondered.
Aloud, he said to the student nurse, "I'll be transferring him to another hospital. Please inform the necessary people and could you bring me the paperwork? I don't want to leave him."
"Right away, sir." The freckled girl retrieved the charts hurriedly and gave a timid smile of assent.
Severus waited until she left and closed the door before he drew his wand. He cast a locking spell and quickly performed a scan along the length of the motionless body. A sinister reddish glow encompassed the frail frame.
Beginning to panic but still hanging onto the possibility that he was wrong, Severus took a deep breath and flicked his wrist, "Finite Incanteum."
* *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** *
Notes:
eo ire itum: to go, advance, proceed, progress
* *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** *
the new replies will appear on the next chapter.
To ncgal: thanks
To zeynel: haha patience dear, i'm working on it.
To Pepsi: oh my... i really am very flattered. thanks. i know what you mean, i hardly ever reviewed myself, that is until i started writing my own story. oopz.
To eMJay: nah he can't talk to trees, that would be abit overdoing it. i guess he's just erm.... sensitive? and yup i will remember to answer those questions. don't worry. =)
To Jade Maxwell: mione is annoying you? oh dear. hmz but her odd behaviour will be explained. and draco will be featured later, =) it is a story about the both of them.
To katrina: yes i'm so crazy about shopping too... poor harry. hmz... i wonder if i should even have mentioned the tree thingy, it's just something that popped into my mind. anyway as i told emjay, nope he won't be speaking to trees. that is just too.... weird.
To suse: i do exactly the same thing when i get reviews, and then i stay hyper for the rest of the day, haha. oh so did snape do the thing you thought he did? and seamus... hmz... i'll think about it. =)
To summersday: i like leaving things open to possiblity, even though i do have a sorta vague idea how everything should go. that way i can take up new ideas from friends and reviewers and work it into my story. =)
To JE: yup the previous chapter was pretty boring, no action. sigh. but that's life sometimes. and i'll answer those questions later. no rush. =) as for the steamy sex bits, i'm trying to get to it (believe me). but it must seem natural, not rushed and all of a sudden.
To Amy: gee thanks, and i'll get to those things.
Hi all I'm sorry about this but I was informed by a reader that what I wrote the last time was inaccurate coz UK has free med care from the NHS. There's no such thing as the insurance thing I stuck in. So I decided to change the story abit, mainly the part where Harry is situated in a storage room. I realised how unlikely an event that is and it's as if I were deliberately trying to make Harry suffer. So this is the newer (hopefully better) version. Thanks Sophie for telling me about it.
* *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** *
"Eo ire itum!" Harry gasped out as he neared the twin entwining snakes mounted on the wall.
The snakes' eyes glowed with sapphire luminescence before shifting, gliding to the edges of a thin frame of braided silver. The wall before him seemed to dissolve and revealed a doorway into which he stepped.
Harry let his eyes adjust to the light as he took in his surroundings.
The luxurious room had surprised him on his first visit. Previously, he had never imagined that the austere potions master had such comfortable and lavish furnishings. The richness of the colours, deep wall to wall carpeting and such extravagance in adornment did not seem fitting with his former impressions of the professor. Indeed with the passing of time they had come to know each other much better. Only then had Harry realised how different the man was from the cold figure he had imagined him to be.
"Professor!" He called out to the empty room.
Curiously there was no reply, he fidgeted uncomfortably. He felt awkward and out of place in his gilded surroundings, he was more at home with simple lines and modest furniture. And it was the first time he was alone in that room, the silence was eerie.
"Perhaps Laurie made a mistake?" He wondered worriedly after a few minutes, "Snape will think I'm breaking in..."
Snape was a private man and he would not welcome this intrusion. Harry was thinking of leaving when the door to the inner chambers crashed open and the sound of voices drifted through. The face of his potions professor registered such surprise at the sight of him that Harry blushed and began to apologize profusely for interrupting.
Snape took a few moments to compose himself and reassured Harry by saying, "No, it's alright. I sent for you. I just didn't think you'd get here to early. It is a Hogsmeades weekend. And I..."
Before he could continue a familiar face appeared behind Snape's shoulder, drowning out the words from Harry's ears. The teenager stared, then disbelief giving way to complete happiness, he launched himself into the arms of the newcomer.
"Harry!" The man exclaimed delightedly, wrapping his arms around the effeminate frame.
"What are you doing here Sirius?" Harry exclaimed after a few moments, "Not that I'm complaining but... Is it something for Dumbledore?"
"Harry... I..." Sirius suddenly looked weary and troubled.
Harry glanced at him, suddenly concerned. Sirius wasn't looking very well, it was apparent that he had not had a decent meal for a long time. He looked gaunt and tired lines had carved their mark on his face.
"Harry, I told him what happened." Snape interjected.
"About what?" Harry asked, almost absently as he turned to the professor.
Then he blanched and carefully removed his arms from around his godfather's waist. When he spoke again Harry seemed so fearful that Snape flinched, "As in..."
"Yes, I told him what happened last summer." Snape said and added in a half whisper, "What has been going on for a long time."
"But you said..." Harry muttered brokenly.
"I know I ... Oh god Harry. I'm sorry." Snape blurted out, "But he's your godfather, he has a right to know."
Harry had withdrawn from the other two, his hands clenched into fists. Then he burst out.
"But you promised. I knew I shouldn't have told you. I can't trust you. You think your helping but... You had no right to tell. Who else? You said I didn't have to, now more people know. I don't want people to worry. I am such a waste of time. I deserve this. They'll find him. Sirius, they'll find you here! You have to go. Don't do this, not for me... I always get people into trouble..."
Sirius stepped over and gently drew the incoherent angel into his arms. Slowly, Harry stopped his rambling and began to calm down. The violent trembling of his body subsiding.
The older man asked anxiously, "Harry are you alright? Why didn't you tell me? I could have..."
Immediately, Harry drew away a second time, smiling blankly, eyes unreadable, "Sirius, I'm fine. Really I am."
Sirius exchanged a baffled glance with the potions master. He soothed gently, "Harry it's all right. I'm here, why don't you talk to me?"
"About what? There's nothing to talk about really." Harry looked genuinely perplexed for a second, then brightening, inquired, "What have you been up to? I missed you so much."
Severus couldn't bear it and silently motioned that he was going to leave the room. Sirius nodded absently, his attention on his godson, the anxiety apparent in his eyes.
* *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** *
Severus' POV
Severus retreated to his inner chambers, he felt guilty but at the same time relieved like he had unloaded a huge burden from his chest. He wasn't good with words, he never was. And he had no idea how to handle this situation. Having Harry confide in him just made him feel awkward and angry at his helplessness. It was at the back of his mind that he knew that he was pushing the responsibility away. He was afraid that he wouldn't be able to cope and his first instinct was to get someone else to take over.
"Sirius would be good for Harry. A father figure, one I can never live up to. Sirius is what Harry needs." Severus tried to convince himself.
When Harry began telling him about his experiences, Severus had no idea of the extent of the abuse. The damage done to the frail body should have cued him in, but he was unable to accept the physical evidence. He was caught unprepared when Harry revealed the truth. What Harry had said completely shocked him to the core, for a moment he thought that Harry was making it up. It was a reflex not from the old bias but rather an inability to comprehend that a child had been treated in such a way, by his own relatives nonetheless. The cruelty was unfathomable.
However, what was more frightening was the way Harry seemed to talk with such clarity and detail about what happened and stay so emotionless. There were no feelings involved when Harry was relating the instances, it almost seemed like he was recalling the facts in a textbook. He appeared as if he were draining away the emotions by abstracting his problems. This detachment was confusing to say the least.
Severus sighed wearily, rubbing the bridge of his nose between his fingers. He sat watching the fire for a long while before he finally got up with the intention of pouring himself a G&T.
As an afterthought, he replaced the tonic in his glass cabinet and took only the bottle of gin over to his seat. He swigged a mouthful straight from the bottle, wincing as it scorched his throat. The second swallow went down smoother. He could felt the alcohol course through his veins, like fingers of fire flickering to the surface of his skin. And he sat there. Remembering.
* *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** *
"Are you his father?" The nurse drawled, casually flicking off a piece of lint from her crumpled uniform.
He was in a muggle hospital. A rather rundown one by the looks of it. There were coffee cups crusted over from yesterday's brew stacked in the corner with a hot water dispenser carrying a crooked 'out-of-order' sign. The small room reeked from the metallic odour of blood and an equally unpleasant smell of strong bleach. The counter before him was stained by a mysterious brownish substance that Severus reverently hoped was coffee. He was currently separated from the nurse by thick bars of steel and bullet proof glass.
"Must be a very rough neighbourhood," Severus thought to himself before answering, "No, an uncle."
The nurse sighed and put down a rather limp and soggy sandwich, getting mayonnaise over her thumb. Inserting her thumb into her mouth, she took the counterfeit documents that he handed over with her other hand and gave them a cursory glance before returning them to him with a nonchalant "If you say so."
She removed the thumb, wiped it on her uniform and waved him on dismissively.
"Which room?" Severus bit out, barely hiding his disgust.
"Down the corridor. Last door on the right." She said without looking up.
He made his way down the hallway, wondering, "What the hell did Potter get himself into this time?"
It was a standard hospital room. The walls painted a ghastly green, obviously from some misguided individual who believed that it would 'brighten' up the room. Personally Severus preferred the more traditional white layout. The present scheme cast a sickly gleam to everything in the room, even the bedsheets took on a mildewed appearance.
It was Potter alright, there's no mistaking the hair and scar, the only parts visible above the sheets. The form within the white sheets was still. It looked impossibly small.
"But then the bed is quite large," Severus reminded himself.
"Sir?" A shy voice interrupted his contemplation.
He looked up to find a gawky teenager at the entrance of the room, he raised his eyebrow in inquiry. As she came closer, he noticed the label 'Student Nurse' half peeling off the front of her uniform. He cleared his throat and asked rather irritably, "Yes?"
"Well...I... I'm not supposed to be doing this but..."
He waited impatiently for her to continue but his attention was more on the form lying in the bed. When it was obvious she was waiting for some kind of response, he half snarled, "Do what? Speak up girl."
She flinched at his harsh tone but handed over a medical chart as she explained, "The doctors here can't seem to find anything really wrong with him. But it doesn't make sense, there must be something otherwise he wouldn't be in such a condition. His pulse is weak and his blood pressure dangerously low. I... well this is stupid... but I was hoping..."
He tuned her out and scanned through the doctor's careless scrawls. All pretty minor injuries. Bruising and slight lacerations. 'Gang Fighting' was scrawled over the base of the chart by a different hand. It was underlined several times by a thick black marker. Severus frowned slightly. The injuries were inconsistent with those of face to face fighting. Whatever it was, Potter was not the aggressor.
"So it was a gang fight?" He demanded.
"Oh... that's what his uncle said when they brought him here. His other uncle I mean..." She replied nervously.
He glanced at the intimidated girl and softened his tone, "Where are his uncle now?"
"I... I don't know... They never came..." She looked slightly bewildered.
He pulled back the sheets slightly and took hold of a limp hand. The form did not stir. There. These were signs of self defense. The cuts on the palms and wrists. As he was returning the hand to Potters side, he noticed that the slight pressure of his hand on the wrist had caused the cuts to bleed.
"Strange." Severus mused, "The cuts are so shallow, the blood should have clotted by now."
"That's what I meant..."
He threw a look that silenced her. He leaned closer to the unconscious body and frowned, perplexed, the erratic and shallow breathing he noted were further indications that something was very wrong with the equation.
"The injuries are so minor, why is he unconscious? A blow to the head?" He considered to himself.
He ran his fingers gently along the scalp, feeling for bumps or wounds. Severus scowled as his search proved unsuccessful. There was only one other explanation.
"Sir?" The nurse asked, baffled by his behaviour.
"But it's not possible. No one can cast concealing charms while still unconscious. He can't be that powerful... but there's no other way." Severus pondered.
Aloud, he said to the student nurse, "I'll be transferring him to another hospital. Please inform the necessary people and could you bring me the paperwork? I don't want to leave him."
"Right away, sir." The freckled girl retrieved the charts hurriedly and gave a timid smile of assent.
Severus waited until she left and closed the door before he drew his wand. He cast a locking spell and quickly performed a scan along the length of the motionless body. A sinister reddish glow encompassed the frail frame.
Beginning to panic but still hanging onto the possibility that he was wrong, Severus took a deep breath and flicked his wrist, "Finite Incanteum."
* *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** *
Notes:
eo ire itum: to go, advance, proceed, progress
* *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** * *** *
the new replies will appear on the next chapter.
To ncgal: thanks
To zeynel: haha patience dear, i'm working on it.
To Pepsi: oh my... i really am very flattered. thanks. i know what you mean, i hardly ever reviewed myself, that is until i started writing my own story. oopz.
To eMJay: nah he can't talk to trees, that would be abit overdoing it. i guess he's just erm.... sensitive? and yup i will remember to answer those questions. don't worry. =)
To Jade Maxwell: mione is annoying you? oh dear. hmz but her odd behaviour will be explained. and draco will be featured later, =) it is a story about the both of them.
To katrina: yes i'm so crazy about shopping too... poor harry. hmz... i wonder if i should even have mentioned the tree thingy, it's just something that popped into my mind. anyway as i told emjay, nope he won't be speaking to trees. that is just too.... weird.
To suse: i do exactly the same thing when i get reviews, and then i stay hyper for the rest of the day, haha. oh so did snape do the thing you thought he did? and seamus... hmz... i'll think about it. =)
To summersday: i like leaving things open to possiblity, even though i do have a sorta vague idea how everything should go. that way i can take up new ideas from friends and reviewers and work it into my story. =)
To JE: yup the previous chapter was pretty boring, no action. sigh. but that's life sometimes. and i'll answer those questions later. no rush. =) as for the steamy sex bits, i'm trying to get to it (believe me). but it must seem natural, not rushed and all of a sudden.
To Amy: gee thanks, and i'll get to those things.