Disclaimer: Not mine. Dialogue in here isn't mine.
The Misted Glass of An Angel
A few months later and I was out at lunch with Seta. The past few months themselves had been...confusing, simply put. I'd finally gotten over the rush and excitement of being with The Man of My Dreams when I realized that I didn't know. I didn't know what I was doing. But Seta apparently knew what he was doing. Within two weeks of our relationship having just begun, he was talking of...drum roll please...marriage.
When he first mentioned it, I went into a choking phase for a while because I'd been drinking coffee and...yeah. Here I was again in the same role that I'd played in the various lunch dates before with Seta; that of a doubting girlfriend.
"Let me get this straight. You actually want to marry me?" I really have lost count of the number of times I've said this. Seta flashed me a dubious look before sighing and sipping his lemonade. It was extremely hot out, a heat wave.
"Sometimes I doubt myself as well." He remarked simply. I rolled my eyes and sipped my lemonade. "But don't you think it's a little early for marriage? We barely know each other."
"What is my favorite color?"
"Blue."
"Favorite drink?"
"Those little virgin strawberry margaritas you had in that one place..."
"Favorite person?"
"Sarah." I wasn't jealous...really...
"You got that one wrong. But two out of three is real good. That's a start isn't it?"
"But marriage isn't just about knowing the other persons favorite food or...pch...ah..." I was stuttering, "...drinks! You need to know them! Like really know them! You know what I mean?"
"Yes. Just relax Haruka. We know each other and we can read each other. I'm ready for marriage. Why aren't you?" That question always struck me in each of our conversations. Seta would only bring it up occasionally but when he did...I got nervous. I knew the answer but I had yet to answer him truthfully. I would this time...I knew it...but the reservations were still there.
"Okay. You see...I'm...ah...nervous about t-the relationship that we h-have. I don't doubt it, but I don't...trust it?" That seemed about right, "I'm afraid of what will happen to me if I marry you. Look at my mother and grandmother. Totally ruined. And Kitsune. She's having so many problems! I don't want a marriage like that..."
I trailed off, my eyes doing the same. I didn't want to see the look on his face. Haruka, a twenty seven year old female adult, not ready for a relationship? I had to be crazy. I knew I wanted to marry him, that he would be my husband one day, but now? I felt warmth on my hand and saw that Seta was holding it.
"I won't let our marriage fail. The thing is that we have to try at it. We have to make it work. You understand?" I looked at him hesitantly before nodding. He was right. I'd have to try it out...right?
"Seta, I just don't know!"
"Talk to Kitsune about it. I think you're just nervous." I smiled at that thought. Of course I was nervous. How could I not be? We were talking about marriage here! "Anyways, my lunch break is almost over so I'll be seeing you soon. I'm sure you have to get back to the café." I nodded and got up with him. He quickly paid the bill and walked me out.
"See you later?" I nodded and reached up for a kiss. He leaned down and we shared a simple one before parting and heading off. I reached the café and did absolutely nothing. The café itself was doing very well. It wasn't exactly the best restaurant in town but it had its business and it kept the family alive.
I hurried home after closing it and found Kitsune at home, speaking with Kanako and Motoko.
"Hey Haruka! How'd it go?" I quickly poured myself a glass of water before being seated with the three of them.
"Seta wants me to marry him but I'm not too sure I want to." I blurted out. The three of them looked at me as if I was crazy. Motoko was eyeing me crazily and Kanako seemed to be choking.
"You don't want to marry him?" Kitsune asked testily.
"Well, I do but..."
"Buth wath?" Kanako questioned.
"I'm nervous..."
"If Brian asked me to marry him, I'd jump at the chance!" Motoko said incredulously.
"You luf heem don'th you?" I nodded for my answer.
"You want to stay with him, right?" interrogated Kitsune.
Nod.
"You love him, right?" I turned quickly in my chair to find my mother standing there, a light smile on her face. "You are my eldest daughter and I would like to see you married while I am still alive. Plus, he'll take care of you. He's strong...unlike your father. And he's in love with you. He's willing to open up his life to you! If you love him, then marry him. You want to marry him right?" I nodded. "Then go for it darling. Your marriage won't turn out like mine." Mom said that with a wry chuckle. I guess she just found that a tad bit funny. No one else really did.
The doorbell rang and my mother turned to go answer it. Outside, you could hear the sound of a young child. My mother answered it while I pondered my life with Seta. I could imagine life without him but it just wouldn't be the same. I wouldn't be the Haruka I am now...I wouldn't be happy.
My train of thought was interrupted by a small child running into the kitchen and scrambling onto Kitsune's lap. Kitsune stared at her for a bit, before bringing up her hand to stroke the child's cheek. Tears were welling up in her eyes.
"Hi Mommy!"
"Oh Ai! Who brought you here?"
"Daddy did!"
"Daddy?" All of us turned to the doorway to see a man, around twenty five, smiling at Kitsune and the child named Ai.
"Ko...You didn't tell me at the appointment today that she was there..."
"Hey Kits. I thought I'd come to visit you and your friends with Ai. Ai was a surprise for me too. You can get mad at you uncle for not telling you." He turned to the three of us. "Hey. I'm Hasegawa Koan, Kitsune's husband." He seemed completely at ease with himself. If I wasn't in love with Seta, man oh man, this guy would be my list!
"Mommy?" All of us turned back to Ai, who was playing with her hair. The four year old looked nervous, more so than me.
"Mommy, are still going to die?"
...
Die?
We all looked at Kitsune who was looking at Ai who was looking between her father and mother. No one seemed to be moving. Koan's eyes were wide in horror and his body was rigid. I could tell that they were trying to think of excuses...or something like that...
"Ai, dear, mommy was saying that because...because she didn't want daddy to...leave her..." Kitsune's eyes flicked towards Koan and I saw relief was over his face. I turned my attention back to Ai, who nodded at her mommy then hopped off her mommy's lap to grasp her daddy's fingers.
"I'm sleepy Daddy."
"W-well, then let's go." He shot Kitsune a meaningful look, if there is such a thing, and all of our heads swerved to look at Kitsune who nodded and stood up to follow them out.
Motoko whistled after they left.
"Hello?" I was answering the home phone.
"Hey Haruka!" I smiled.
"Hi Seta. What's going on?" I twirled the cord of the phone around my finger.
"My parents are here." I almost choked on...nothing...
"What for?"
"I kind of told them that I wanted to marry you so now they want to talk to your mother about wedding plans."
"Oh Kami no."
"Oh Kami yes."
"Why Seta? Why?"
"Well, you want to marry me right?"
"Well...Yeah..."
"So no problems! When can they come over to ask permission?"
"Permission for what?"
"To ask permission if we can get married."
"Oh right. Um, they can come over tonight..."
"Really? That's great!"
"Yeah. We're not doing anything and since I know that at least four people in my house are eavesdropping on us," At least one hung up right then, two giggled and one hmphed, "and not raising any objections, we're good to go. Will you be staying for dinner?"
"No. We'll come at nine or so."
"Okay. See you tonight!"
"Yeah. Love you."
"Love you too."
I hung up and waited for Keitaro, Motoko, Kanako and my grandmother to come downstairs. They all did in precisely that order. My grandmother was actually smiling.
"He's Japanese, isn't he?" She rasped. I nodded dumbly. Was she seriously being nice? "That's good. Now I must go inform your mother of this development." With that she bustled off, looking mighty pleased with herself. I think that she thought this was her idea.
Shinobu came down amidst the noise that the other three were making. "What are they chanting?" she yelled above their racket. I leaned down to her ear and whispered, "'Haruka is getting hitched.' Seta's bringing his parents to talk about the wedding." I then pulled away to watch her reaction.
At first she just stood there, her face showing no emotion but hten a huge smile began to creep across her lips and as she turned to me, tears began to well up. I smiled as my eyes began to tear up too. Shinobu enveloped me in a hug and I did the same to her. Just then my grandmother bustled back out and shot a disdainful look at Shinobu. I was glad that her head was turned the other way.
The troop soon arrived. Seta was dressed in jeans and a polo shirt, tucked in of course. His mother was like my mother, seemingly tough but with nice facial structure. His father was a wispy fellow who gave the majority of his looks to Seta. Sarah was a blond child with a tomboyish look. I think she'd already grown accustomed to me. She smiled at me and went to sit near Shinobu. All in all, nice people.
Our whole group sat in the living room. My mother and grandmother had decided to represent me because of the lack of a father figure. The arrangements for the wedding were being made but there was a problem.
"Haruka, how did Seta propose to you?" That was his mother, her voice very soft and kind. I shot a look at Seta before saying, "He hasn't." His mother raised an eyebrow and his father let out a gruff laugh. The rest of my family was tittering like a bunch of fools. Seta shook his head before pulling out a ring and getting down on one knee before me.
"I was hoping to make this more romantic. But my parents decided to bring the subject up today. So Haruka, will you marry me?" I was almost about to cry. But I just kissed the top of his head and held out my hand. Seta slipped the ring onto my finger. Everyone politely applauded while Keitaro whistled.
"So," Seta's mother turned to my grandmother, "before you mentioned going back to Japan. When will you return?"
"I will return once Keitaro, Motoko and Kanako get married. Then I can go back home without worry." Seta's father looked troubled as did the rest of us.
"What about Shinobu?"
"She's not ours." My grandmother said airily. I felt my throat constrict with fear when she said that. My mother looked up sharply and said, "She is as much our child and your grandchild as your son was my husband." I wiped the look of fear off my face a smiled a forced one. Seta's father tried to change the subject.
"What happened to your husband?" The question was addressed to my mother. My grandmother answered it.
"He died of a heart attack." All of the children in the room looked at my grandmother. That was a lie. That was a downright lie. He did not die of a heart attack.
"Oh. That's too bad." Seta's mother was thoroughly uncomfortable with this conversation. So was everyone else in the room. However, my mother didn't seem to be.
"What she just said is a lie. My husband committed suicide." Silence rang throughout the room as my grandmother tried to kill my mother by glaring at her. Seta's family soon left after that, with Seta kissing me on the cheek, telling me it would be okay. But I didn't think our family could handle much more 'okay.'
I despondently returned inside to where my family had resumed their spots as during the visit by Seta and his family. Most of them were crying while my mother and grandmother stood at the front of the room, verbally sparring. Shinobu stood near the door, weeping silently.
"What was the need to tell them what really happened?" My grandmother shouted.
"Do you really want to base new relationships on lies? Lies about everything? Lies about this family which he will be apart of? Truth is what matters!"
"If you are so fond of the truth, listen to this! That trash," she pointed to Shinobu, "is not my family! She is not related to me! I hate her! I hate how she's torn apart this family! I hate how she killed my son with her arrival and I hate her very being!" My grandmother was sobbing by now, as was everyone else in the room. "I hate her! Blood is thicker than water and she is water! I will never be related to her! Never! Never! I hate her and hope she dies!" My grandmother kept on repeating that, over and over.
The rest of us just choked on our sobs and anguish, too scared to turn and see the hurt on Shinobu's face. I kept on crying, hand covering my mouth when I heard a new voice behind me.
"Well, if it isn't the harpy harping." I turned to find none other than Kitsune there, her normally placid face marred with tears. Shinobu hid behind her, sobbing into Kitsune's sweatshirt.
"You! Who are you to come barging into family matters?" My grandmother screeched. My mother had sat herself down and was weeping without restraint. Kitsune continued. "I am a voice that should have reached you long ago." My mother murmured a few words. "No, please Kitsune!" Kitsune shushed her.
"No Nahoko. It's time that everyone here learnt what I did from a simple letter." And then I remembered.
There was a knock on the door. I quickly put my mug down and went running to the door. I opened it up to be greeted by the faces of Kitsune, Mutsumi and my mother. Mutsumi seemed upset while my mother and Kitsune had grave looks on their faces.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Kitsune stole my letter from Jiro!" Mutsumi stomped into the kitchen, tears threatening to fall again. I watched her then turned to face my mother and Kitsune. My mother held the letter against her body and Kitsune was watching me.
"It's not her letter. It's your mom's." Kitsune stated. She stepped past me and then tugged my arm. I turned my face away from my mother and met Kitsune's now laughing eyes.
"What did you learn?" My grandmother asked sarcastically.
"I learnt that Shinobu belongs in this family as much as you do. You want to know why your son killed himself? Because he was weak."
"My son was not weak!" Grandmother hissed.
"Oh yes he was. You see, Shinobu is the product of his illicit affair with another woman." Ignoring the gasps that rose up at that moment, Kitsune went on. "The mother didn't want Shinobu and was going to give her up for adoption. But Nahoko, your daughter-in-law stepped in and decided to take her in. And because of that, whenever you son saw Nahoko with this child whom she should have hated, he felt weak. He didn't hate her for that, oh no. He loved her still but he realized how weak he was. He went off to have an affair when he had Nahoko at home. So therefore he killed himself."
What? My eyes were dry now, flicking between the orator, Hina, my mother and Shinobu. "How..." I managed. I was still overcome with grief...surprise and a variety of other emotions. Kitsune turned to me.
"The letter your mother received was from Shinobu's mother. In it, she apologized and enclosed a letter your father had left with her before he killed himself. I think your mother has kept both."
All eyes turned towards my mother, who simply nodded and continued crying. At that moment, something special that would change all of our views on my grandmother happened. She walked over to Shinobu and kissed the top of her head. Hina began to speak.
"I-I a-am so so-sorry, ch-chi-child. Can y-you for-forgive an old la-lady for h-her mis-mistakes?" Shinobu nodded mutely and enveloped Hina in a hug. I couldn't help but smile. Only Shinobu was capable of forgiving people after committing crimes so heinous that they shouldn't ever be forgiven. But if Shinobu could do it, so could I.
And so, I smiled at my grandmother and hugged her along with the rest of my family and Kitsune.
Plus, I was waiting for JKR to release the new Harry Potter title. So excited!
Althesushiloveingfanficsage- That's kind of what I was going for. Sorry. I did reread the chapter and it was fast but I was trying to portray how everything went by so quickly for her. I guess I shouldn't do that anymore. hehe. But I did include some more doubting in here. What did you think of this chapter? Be as cruel as possible!
Digibaka- Yup. Aman running and ripping should have caused him to die. They should have just skipped that whole scene. As for the westernization, there's too much sex on our innocent Bollywood movies! It's so corrupted! Ah! Anyways, I'm looking forward to the new Rani-Saif film "Hum Tum." What about you?
mr-winkie- Oh no! This fic is no where near done! You see, there's something wrong with someone...Darn. I think you're gonna figure it out now. Oh well. The next chapter will reveal all! No problem about not reviewing! I won't think you've forsaken me! I'm glad you did though!
EverShadow- Wow! You were the last one I expected to come read this! Thank you though! I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter. I actually didn't like it that much. In fact, the first few chapters are devoid of any plot. I'm watching your fic like a hawk!