In A Breath

By Kyizi

Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWE, the story is mine.

Rating: R, for violence and rape

Summary: Christian turned his back on his brother, on his career and on his company, was it really all because he was jealous of his brother's success? Or was he trying to escape from something…or someone?

Spoilers: Up to and including Vengeance.

Setting: This starts the day before Vengeance, but we will be taking a trip back in time every now and again.

Feedback: Always appreciated

E-mail: kyizifanfic@hotmail.com

Yahoo! Group: KyiziFic

Notes: This idea came into my head after reading Karen U's fic, "It Only Hurts" where she gave Jericho a reason for being, well, an ass, I began to wonder if maybe Christian had a reason…

(Matt and Lita aren't dating in this one and they're both at Vengeance backstage for the purposes of this fic!)

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Part Sixteen

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"Get out of here! You have to get out of here!" Christian shouted wildly, trying to get up.

"Regal?" Edge asked, his voice hardening. "It's Regal?"

From the look on her face, not even Torrie had know the man's identity, but Christian's reaction was enough to confirm it. Edge shook Christian a little and motioned for him to stay still. He turned to the Hardy brothers and stood up.

"Was Regal alone?"

"No," Matt replied, "Test and Lance are with him."

Edge frowned. "Do they have anything to do with it?" Christian shook his head, and where Edge could see that his brother was scared of the two men, he believed that Regal was acting alone. He turned back to the Hardy's. "I think it's time I had a little chat with William Regal."

"Edge, no!"

Edge turned to his brother. "Christian, I've failed to protect you for over a year. It's time I started acting like your brother again. This wasn't your fault. It was never your fault. It's Regal's fault and it's time he paid for it."

"But Mom, you, he has-"

"He's likely been lying to you, Christian. But I'll make it blatantly clear that he had better stay away from our family."

"Not now, Edge." Christian pleaded. "Please."

Edge seemed like he was about to protest again, but Lita placed a hand on his arm and shook her head. He knew he wasn't thinking rationally and that Lita was likely right, but that didn't make his anger dissipate. He still wanted to kill William Regal. He wanted to punish the man, humiliate him and make him scream in agony until it all became too much to bear. He wanted William Regal to feel the pain that the man had inflicted on his brother. But Lita and Christian were right. Now wasn't the time. Christian needed to rest and Edge needed to calm down before he ended up in jail for something he wouldn't regret.

"Okay," he said finally. "Okay. Not now." Christian let out a breath and Edge nodded. "But you need to understand that I will not be letting this lie. Regal will pay for what he put you through. I will make sure he does."

Edge could see the fear was still in Christian's eyes, he could see that his brother still thought the man would hurt him. Edge wouldn't let that happen, not ever again and his brother seemed to be searching his eyes to see if that was the case. Christian finally nodded and Edge smiled at him, and although it was weak, Christian smiled back.

* * *

Christian sighed and rubbed his eyes. He felt like he had been trapped in the hospital room for months. Well, he wasn't far off. It had been three weeks and he was still having the nightmares, he was still having 'psychotic episodes' and he was still terrified every time the door opened.

He was beginning to hate himself all over again. He had been living with it for over a year, and he had been coping. Admittedly, not all that well at time, but where before he had always been afraid for himself (and eventually Torrie), he was now afraid for his family and friends.

He sighed. That was the reason he had distanced himself from them. He knew there was no way he would be able to protect them from what Regal had threatened to do to them, so he had pushed them away. His brother might have been clueless for a long time, but Christian knew that Edge would have eventually figured out that something was seriously wrong, and if there was one thing Edge could do, it was get information from him when he least wanted to divulge. Hence, why every present he had received for the most part of his life hadn't been a surprise.

He had felt sure that what he had done to Edge, while it made him sick to the stomach, would ensure that Edge would never speak to him again. If Edge never spoke to him again, Edge couldn't find the truth and he would be safe. So long as Christian did as he was told.

Christian suddenly realised that he was crying and instantly cursed. He seemed unable to stop crying lately. Relief, anger, pain, memories; everything seemed to set him off. He was only glad that the doctors had informed everyone that he needed time to heal, otherwise the company would have insisted he go with them, and that would have meant facing Regal.

The man had ruled over his life for so long, telling him what to do with his personal life, his career, everything. Although, if he had never been forced to join the Alliance, he would never have been in the position to help Torrie…or fall in love with her, so he couldn't regret that part.

Christian knew facing Regal would be the hardest thing he would ever have to do. It was one thing to do what the man wanted when he was doing it to keep everyone he loved safe, but it was another thing when Edge knew. There had just been something in his brother's eyes that told him Edge would protect him. Like he always had done. Protection. It seemed like such a foreign concept to him now, at least with him on the receiving end. He had been protecting everyone else for so long, he had forgotten what it was really like to be protected.


Christian leaned his head back on the pillows and closed his eyes. He didn't know what he felt anymore. There were no secrets anymore, there was nothing for him to hide. His brother was with him again, his brother was getting to know him again and he was allowed to feel again. He was allowed to love, and be able to show it again. But that wasn't as easy as it sounded.

While it was a relief for him to be able to be himself again, he no longer knew who he was anymore. How could he be a person that he didn't even know? He had been moving in a circle of lies and living inside a hollow shell for so long, that he didn't know how to escape from it. It was slow and it was heartbreaking at times, and he often wanted to give up. But he wouldn't. He was going to get through this. For himself and Torrie…but most of all, he was going to get through this for Edge.

Lita had told him that all Edge wanted was his brother back, and Christian was going to make damn sure that Edge got his wish.

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End of Part Sixteen

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Chapter Note: I want to state that I hated having to make anyone the bad guy in this, but it needed to be done! I want to personally apologise to the character of William Regal, but, hey, it had to be someone!