Chapter 13
Weather for today: Cloudy
She feels like hitting him with something-...anything. She grabs the nearest pillow and starts to whack him, while sobbing uncontrollably.
At first, Spike is concerned, but now he is starting to get pissed off.
"What is bleedin' wrong with you, woman?"
"What is wrong with ME? What is wrong with YOU! How could you not tell me that you were the one I love! How could you not tell me that you were the only one who I could openly talk to! How could you let me run off with some guy that I don't even know! How could you watch me with Angel every single day??"
She drops the pillow and falls to her knees crying non-stop.
Spike, assuming that it is safe to get up, crouches beside Buffy. Realization flows through him, as it occurs to him that she now knew that she had been talking to him not Angel.
"Oh god. I'm so sorry."
She lifts her head and looks at him in the eyes. She sharply replies, "I don't think 'sorry' is going to cut it this time, Spike. I don't know if anything will, unless you have a pretty damn good –"
"-I was scared."
"What?"
" I didn't think you felt the same way. The week before- You never said you loved me."
"That was because I was scared. I was scared of opening myself up to another guy, when all the men before me had torn my heart open. But ..didn't you realize I probably liked the 'online you' because I wanted to be with Angel?"
They both take a moment to process such a complicated sentence and Spike, after what seems like a year, answers.
"It seemed to me as though you were already smitten with Angel...even before you thought that you had talked to him online throughout the year. I mean, you guys were snug even before that day..."
"That was just...I dunno...I just made a new friend that's all. Angel and I became friends then. We had never really talked before. I didn't love him or anything then. I never even suspected him to be my online buddy because he didn't seem like you...well, the person I talked to. I couldn't really believe it, when I heard Snyder call out his name with mine...but I accepted it. I decided to give it a shot with the one person that I thought I had a future with...I never loved Angel.." She feels the water rushing to her eyes but forces them back, and then she continues.
"I really don't know Spike...I was so scared...I still am...to be open with someone and let them see all of me...I am scared that they're going to take advantage of me. That's why I didn't tell you right away that I loved you and now I know that it was my mistake."
"Pet, didn't you trust me?"
"Spike, didn't I trust my dad? Didn't I trust the man that led me outside of the Bronze, but instead he – "
She can obviously see the hurt in his eyes and he sees the same hurt in hers...which makes him want to hug her forever, right then.
"I did trust- I do trust you Spike. My heart knows that I do trust you. But back then, my conscience screamed out to me 'NO! You're only going to end up hurt!', every time a man tried to get close to me. But you believe in me, you show me that I can open up my heart to you. But I guess I realized it too late. That night, I realized that I had missed my chance to tell you-..."
She looks up into his eyes.
'...- that I loved you."
Spike frowns at the use of the word 'loved' instead of 'love'.
"You don't love me anymore?"
She cups is face and watches a tear trickle down his cheek. She then looks straight to into his eyes and sincerely says, "I love you Spike. You have given me strength that I never knew I possessed. You are the reason I live...the reason I breathe...the reason I smile. I regret not telling you this, when I had the chance"
She smiles sweetly at him. "Isn't your turn? I just threw my feelings out in the open."
Spike smiles back, "I threw mine out in the open a long time ago, luv."
She replies truthfully, "Right...I just- I just want to hear it again...you know?"
Carefully and purposely, without touching her, Spike leans over and whispers into her ear. "I love you Buffy. You are so full of charisma, poise, and beauty. I should feel so lucky to get feelings in return from you. I've been a stupid bloke...actually more like an asshole by not considering your feelings through out these past few weeks...Will you forgive me?"
Will Buffy forgive Spike? Find out next Chapter! PLZ R&R!
Weather for today: Cloudy
She feels like hitting him with something-...anything. She grabs the nearest pillow and starts to whack him, while sobbing uncontrollably.
At first, Spike is concerned, but now he is starting to get pissed off.
"What is bleedin' wrong with you, woman?"
"What is wrong with ME? What is wrong with YOU! How could you not tell me that you were the one I love! How could you not tell me that you were the only one who I could openly talk to! How could you let me run off with some guy that I don't even know! How could you watch me with Angel every single day??"
She drops the pillow and falls to her knees crying non-stop.
Spike, assuming that it is safe to get up, crouches beside Buffy. Realization flows through him, as it occurs to him that she now knew that she had been talking to him not Angel.
"Oh god. I'm so sorry."
She lifts her head and looks at him in the eyes. She sharply replies, "I don't think 'sorry' is going to cut it this time, Spike. I don't know if anything will, unless you have a pretty damn good –"
"-I was scared."
"What?"
" I didn't think you felt the same way. The week before- You never said you loved me."
"That was because I was scared. I was scared of opening myself up to another guy, when all the men before me had torn my heart open. But ..didn't you realize I probably liked the 'online you' because I wanted to be with Angel?"
They both take a moment to process such a complicated sentence and Spike, after what seems like a year, answers.
"It seemed to me as though you were already smitten with Angel...even before you thought that you had talked to him online throughout the year. I mean, you guys were snug even before that day..."
"That was just...I dunno...I just made a new friend that's all. Angel and I became friends then. We had never really talked before. I didn't love him or anything then. I never even suspected him to be my online buddy because he didn't seem like you...well, the person I talked to. I couldn't really believe it, when I heard Snyder call out his name with mine...but I accepted it. I decided to give it a shot with the one person that I thought I had a future with...I never loved Angel.." She feels the water rushing to her eyes but forces them back, and then she continues.
"I really don't know Spike...I was so scared...I still am...to be open with someone and let them see all of me...I am scared that they're going to take advantage of me. That's why I didn't tell you right away that I loved you and now I know that it was my mistake."
"Pet, didn't you trust me?"
"Spike, didn't I trust my dad? Didn't I trust the man that led me outside of the Bronze, but instead he – "
She can obviously see the hurt in his eyes and he sees the same hurt in hers...which makes him want to hug her forever, right then.
"I did trust- I do trust you Spike. My heart knows that I do trust you. But back then, my conscience screamed out to me 'NO! You're only going to end up hurt!', every time a man tried to get close to me. But you believe in me, you show me that I can open up my heart to you. But I guess I realized it too late. That night, I realized that I had missed my chance to tell you-..."
She looks up into his eyes.
'...- that I loved you."
Spike frowns at the use of the word 'loved' instead of 'love'.
"You don't love me anymore?"
She cups is face and watches a tear trickle down his cheek. She then looks straight to into his eyes and sincerely says, "I love you Spike. You have given me strength that I never knew I possessed. You are the reason I live...the reason I breathe...the reason I smile. I regret not telling you this, when I had the chance"
She smiles sweetly at him. "Isn't your turn? I just threw my feelings out in the open."
Spike smiles back, "I threw mine out in the open a long time ago, luv."
She replies truthfully, "Right...I just- I just want to hear it again...you know?"
Carefully and purposely, without touching her, Spike leans over and whispers into her ear. "I love you Buffy. You are so full of charisma, poise, and beauty. I should feel so lucky to get feelings in return from you. I've been a stupid bloke...actually more like an asshole by not considering your feelings through out these past few weeks...Will you forgive me?"
Will Buffy forgive Spike? Find out next Chapter! PLZ R&R!