It's been a long, fun journey but alas, it shall end. This is the official last chapter, but the epilogue is coming up! Oh and apologies in advance to British folk! Plus, I'm made this as random as could possibly be in a humor fic, that's right, a crossover. With Charmed (spoiler warning)! No worries though, they don't do anything, I only put them in here for a little drama, and blah, blah, blah. Frilly pink knickers still in the spotlight!

I Just Wanted Grandkids! Part 7

Drakey: Weasley! Get those bon bons out of your mouth and help us look for my frilly pink knickers!

Ronniekiens: You wish dude! It's The Dumb and The Not So Pretty marathon!

Drakey: It's a rerun! That show was canceled years ago to make room for The Bold and Idiotic no wait…The Bold and the Bald…no that can't be it-

Ronniekiens: Will you SHUT UP? I can't hear a thing of what Franco is saying!

Drakey: #looks at readers# It's times like these when I wish I could act really evil with lots of cool dark magic tricks. Unfortunately, that'll definitely lower my fanclub to only one billion…A guy's gotta have love you know…and frilly pink knickers.

Hairy: Draco, dear, you really need to relax. All this searching is so stressful. Should I prepare the hot tub?

Drakey: #Mutters# all this will be over when I get frilly pink knickers back. Then I can safely transfer. Either to Durmstrang with the ugly people or Beauxbatons with the gay ones…doesn't matter, as long as I transfer.

Hairy: What was that? Batons? Hehe, kinky.

Drakey: Yeah, severely creeped out now. Thanks Potter.

Bumblebore: How many times must I tell you Mr. Potter? Put those clothes back on NOW!

Ronniekiens: #sadly# he always was more dominant. Doesn't it totally turn you on?

All: EW!

Bumblebore: #is freaked out# Perhaps mummy was right. I should've retired fifty years ago.

Pug: WHAT-EVER! We need to find Drakey's priceless knickers bats her eyelashes at him isn't that right darling?

Drakey: #sigh# all we do is just talk about it, seriously. Explodes I WANT MY FRILLY PINK KNICKERS! FRILLY PINK KNICKERS, I TELL YOU, FRILLY PINK KNICKERS!

And suddenly, out of not so thin air a mysterious dark figure appears holding, well what do you know Draco's frilly pink knickers! Remember the, saying things three times theory? Eh, and to believe we've wasted six chapters on searching and talking about them…ah, those British folks are dense aren't they?

The mysterious dark figure: ???? I thought I got insurance for this!

Crowd of Horny Gryffindors: Golly!

Hairy: Oh. My. God.

Ronniekiens: #in mid chew# oh man…

Drakey: For the love of Betsy-

Meanwhile in Hell.Inc!

HAG: #is standing in front of a group of new residents including Voldy, Sadam, Cher, and the cast of Charmed#

Piper: This was not supposed to happen. #Turns to Leo# was this supposed to happen? I think not!

Cher: Aw, you got us babe!

Piper: Hey, hands off crazy lady! I was married! To a -sort of- man!

Leo: Hey!

Piper: Shut it mister, I know that hair dye didn't just appear out of thin air! Anyway, how can vanquishing a demon and be later killed by its friends, land us in hell?

Leo: #is confused, since he doesn't have an answer# …Blessed be?

Devil Employees: THE TERROR! #Immediately rush Leo to torture chambers. Jeez, saying such a cursed word in Hell. Idiot#

Chris: #while secretly laughing at Leo's expense# I think you confused the demon with an Elder, Piper.

Piper: He had four eyes and "I hate Mom" tattooed on his shoulder!

Chris: Well, you should know by now that many Elders have issues…

Paige: Oh great, you vanquish one Elder and it's Hell for you. Oh no, forget all the good we've done and the Sources we've vanquished, one mistake and POOF, you're in Satan's lair.

Phoebe: #is confused# We're dead?

HAG: #clears her throat loudly# If you would look on your left, you would see a hot stream of molten lava. If one of you should fall in-

Phoebe: #forgets she can levitate# AAAH!

HAG: -like that, do not worry. You can't die AGAIN; you'll just be in eternal pain!

Voldy: #mutters to himself# no pie, what kind of evil organization is this?

Chris: Well, at least one good thing can come out of this. I don't have to worry about Wyatt screwing up the future…SINCE I HAVE NONE!

Paige: Aw, don't worry Chris, I'm sure Piper can get pregnant with you in Hell too!

Piper: WHAT?

Paige: Oops.

Now, while the Charmed Ones are busy working through "Issues" Sadam is secretly planning…well, not really. He's just kinda psycho.

Sadam: Must. Plot. Evil. Deeds. Against. Israeli. Government. Must. Ask. Red-eyed guy. Where to get. Pie.

Voldy: Right…

HAG: Now, onto your living quarters!

All: #groan#

Cher: #mutters# if only I could turn back time…

And now to reveal the most evil of villains, the cruelest of the cruel, the smelliest of the stinky:

Drakey: MUM?!

The mysterious dark figure/Narcissa: #looks around in panic# um, no…I am just an evil clone!

Drakey: HA, you can't fool me! You tried that excuse when I asked you what my PlayWizards were doing in your closet!

Narcissa: FINE! I stole your frilly pink knickers! It's true!

Drakey: But mother, why?

Narcissa: Because they are GAY! I don't want you turning out like that Potter boy and the Weasley child! I want grandchildren! I want to bake! Bake, damn it!

Drakey: But mum, I'm not gay.

Narcissa: Oh yeah? Then why is Harry Potter hanging off you in such a manner?

Drakey: #blinks# GET OFF ME!

Hairy: Darn, I was so close.

Drakey: Mum, we can talk about this. Just hand over the frilly pink knickers.

Narcissa: #grabs Collin# one more step and I'll do something naughty with him!

All: #freeze#

And so, the plot thickens. Meanwhile…

Piper: You are my #hyperventilates# SON?!

Chris: Ehe, um, well…

Paige: It should have been quite obvious, you both can get rather bitchy at times.

Piper/Chris: SHUT IT!

HAG: Now, while dealing with some family drama, we will proceed to the torture chambers. If you will please follow me…

Piper: You lied to me! For all this time! You committed the sin of LYING! Who cares that you had a perfectly good reasons and were afraid of changing the future, all that pales in comparison to LYING!

Chris: But, but it could've changed the future in even worse ways!

Piper: Well you don't have to worry about it now!

Chris: Oh please, I bet any second now Future Wyatt will appear out of thin air, and torture me until I reveal some horrible secret about your death.

Wyatt: #appears, since he's the ruler of all in the future and just can# I have come for you Chris! Muahaha! And with me I bring….PIE!

Voldy/Sadam: PIE?!

Wyatt: Yes, Pie!

Chris: Whatever, can we just skip to the happily ever after bit where Wyatt is dead and we all mourn but secretly know it's for the best, and I oddly stay in the past until it seems fit to go back?

Paige: Hmm…perhaps you are right, that pie does look inviting.

Wyatt: ?

HAG: #thinks# this is so not the best way to spend one's afterlife.

And while that signals the occupants of Hell's "happy" ending, naughty things are almost a-happening back at Hogwarts…

Narcissa: Don't you dare step any closer! #Holds Collin dangerously close#

Creepy Creevey: #doesn't seem to mind one bit#

Hairy: #isn't particularly disturbed either#

Drakey: #is, in fact, grossed out because he does not want to share genes with a Creevey offspring#

Pug: Well…this is interesting…

Drakey: It is not! It's repulsive!

Pile of Dust2:……..

Narcissa: #snaps at the pile of dust# Who said you could talk??

Drakey: Look…mum, we can resolve this. Without any rash decisions or unnecessary mating.

Narcissa: Oh no you don't. I shall have grandchildren!

Creepy Creevey: I don't know what I can do for grandchildren, but if you want more kids, I'm your man!

Narcissa: #drops him on the floor# Eww! Not even baking is worth that much!

Draco, seeing that Narcissa is distracted makes a dive for his precious frilly, pink knickers. And so, the slow motion returns once again.

::Slow Motion::

Drakey: #is diving towards Narcissa# Yeeees, just a liiiiittle bit clooooser…

Narcissa: #turns around in surprise and the knickers start falling to the floor# Nooo!

Drakey/Narcissa: #jump towards knickers…and bump their heads against each other# Oooowww…

::End Slow Motion::

But then, who has gotten the knickers?

Hairy: Yes! They're mine! Hahaha they're- #is knocked out by Draco#

Drakey: #hugs the frilly, pink knickers to his chest, while soft music plays in the background# sweet, sweet, knickers. I have awaited this moment for so long. It has been harsh without you, but now you have returned into my arms, safe and-

Ronniekiens: OOOH! The home shopping network!

All: OOOH!

Bumblebore: Nobody can borrow my Master Card this time! #Gets dreamy eyed# I can buy so many tea products…

Hairy: The HSN? Is it Thursday? That's sex toy night!

Narcissa: Heavens be blessed! Who needs Draco when I can buy grandchildren? #Pushes through the crowd in front of her# Out of my way!

Drakey: #the music stops with a screech and he flings the knickers aside, right into Colin's face# I GET THE COUCH!

Some time later:

Creepy Creevey: #recovers from recent events# Huh? #Takes knickers off his head and stares at them, a slow smile spreading on his face# Oooh, I know what I can do with these…

End

It's done! It's finished! Finally finished! Now, I know there are many lose ends but remember; there will be an epilogue coming up shortly! So for now, I bid you farewell!