Thanks again for all the great reviews. If someone can help me out with a
beta reader it would be greatly appreciated. Like I said, I am a total
novice at posting stories on the net so I am not sure what else I should be
doing.
I know I promised to make the chapters shorter, but I got a little carried away with this one... sorry. Let me know what you think.
"Mom quit pacing. I'm sure Luka is fine" Alex said.
"I know. I'm just nervous," she said almost to herself while looking out the window of the room. Sam turned to Alex, "Listen Alex when Luka does get here he and I will need some time alone to talk, O.K?" But Alex only heard half of the sentence, because through the window he saw a familiar form approaching.
"Luka!" he yelled and ran out the door towards his friend.
Luka heard his name and saw Alex running towards him. It took Alex a matter of seconds to reach Luka and throw himself into his arms. Luka hugged Alex like it had been months instead of days since they had last seen each other.
Luka suddenly saw Sam standing just outside the door of the room. She was wiping her eyes and seemed to be taking a moment to steady herself. Slowly he put Alex down on the ground.
"Hi"
"Hi"
Alex was right in the middle of the two. He looked from Luka to Sam then back again finally settling his eyes on his friend. "Luka I am so glad you're here. When we left..."
"Alex" his mom gently interrupted him, "would you mind if Luka and I talked alone for a little bit?"
Alex looked at his mom then back at Luka, "O.K, I'll go watch TV." As he was leaving he looked at his mom one last time and told her in no uncertain terms to be nice to Luka.
Both watched until Alex made it to the room and closed the door behind him. Luka and Sam stood and waited until the door had closed behind him. Then turned back to face each other and enjoyed the sight of one another for a few minutes.
"Part of me can't believe that you actually came."
"I told you I was coming"
"I know, it's just no one has ever..." Sam started to say but decided she didn't want to spoil this moment with talk of past disappointments. "It doesn't matter. Do you want to sit down?" she said pointing to the table and chairs near the motel pool. Luka nodded his head and they made their way over to that area.
Sam started off the conversation, "I want to apologize for just taking off like that without giving you any explanation. I know how much you care for Alex and..." "I care about both of you." Luka said interrupting her, locking his eyes with hers. "Sam before we start talking about the reasons you left there is something that we need to discuss," he said breaking the spell they had put each other under.
"I came because I realized just how much I did care about both of you. In fact right now it's taking all my energy not to pull you into my arms and show you just how much I care about you."
Sam just looked at him in surprise, unsure how to respond.
"But before I do that there is something that I need to talk to you about."
"What is it?" Sam said apprehensively.
"Me"
"I don't understand. What about you?"
"I have never been able to commit to any one relationship that I have had since my wife. And a big part of it was my fault. I wasn't willing to go the extra step, with any woman, which was necessary to have a healthy relationship. I refused to share a part of myself with them. Oh I had no problem giving them my body, but I was never ready to give my heart ... my soul. That was the one thing I was never able to do."
"In what way do you mean?" Sam asked.
"In order to let someone in I knew that I would have to share all of myself with them which meant sharing my family with them." Luka said to Sam.
"Luka I know that it must be hard for you to talk about your past with your family. I never asked because I didn't want to push you into anything that you weren't ready to talk about."
Luka sat silent for a moment, "You know over these past years in Chicago, and other places before that, when people have learned of my past, my family, they had always assumed I didn't speak of them because it was too painful, that I relived the pain of their deaths anytime they were mentioned.." Luka paused a little bit, as if he had just realized something. "The first few years that was true, but later I began to realize that a big part of it was me being selfish."
Again, Luka paused trying the figure out how to explain something he'd never tried to put into words before.
"Have you ever known or had something that was so special to you that by sharing it you felt as if you were losing a part of it?"
Sam knew that the question was rhetorical, so she said nothing and waited for him to continue without interruption.
"That's how I feel about my family. My memories of them are here" he said pointing to his heart, "and here" pointing to his head. "Of all my possessions those memories are the most valuable, there're priceless. There have been people in my life that I have cared about, but there was always something holding me back from sharing with them these precious memories. Every time I tried it just felt wrong, like...."
"Like, by sharing you were letting go." Sam said with a voice of understanding.
Finally someone understood. Luka could see the comprehension in her face. He closed his eyes for a second and silently thought "Thank you God for finally sending her to me." Sam gently took hold of his hand, patiently waiting for him to continue.
"Yes," he said while nodding his head, "that by sharing those memories I was somehow letting go of them, saying good-bye to the life that we all had together and I was never ready to do that for anybody, at least until I met you."
Sam smiled, but there were tears in her eyes, "Well when you're ready, I would love to get to know them."
Luka looked at Sam and knew he was ready, that she was the one he had been waiting for to open up to about his life, his whole life.
The hours flew by as Luka talked to Sam about his past; his childhood, his med school days, his marriage and his kids. By the end, Luka felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. By sharing his memories with Sam, he hadn't lost any of the joy that the memories always held for him. He felt at peace and closer to Sam then he ever believed possible.
"Thank you for telling me." Sam said with genuine gratitude as she tenderly placed her hand on his cheek.
"Thank you for listening." With that said Luka gently took Sam's face in both his hands and gave her the kiss he had longed to give her the moment he arrived.
They eventually went back to the room together and ordered pizza for dinner. Alex was ecstatic to learn that they were headed back to Chicago in the morning.
The rest of the night was filled with laughter and an occasional pillow fight which pitted Sam & Alex against Luka and then Alex against Sam & Luka. Anyone looking at them that night never could have imagined the turmoil they all had gone through to get to where they were. All they would see were three people who made a lovely family.
I know I promised to make the chapters shorter, but I got a little carried away with this one... sorry. Let me know what you think.
"Mom quit pacing. I'm sure Luka is fine" Alex said.
"I know. I'm just nervous," she said almost to herself while looking out the window of the room. Sam turned to Alex, "Listen Alex when Luka does get here he and I will need some time alone to talk, O.K?" But Alex only heard half of the sentence, because through the window he saw a familiar form approaching.
"Luka!" he yelled and ran out the door towards his friend.
Luka heard his name and saw Alex running towards him. It took Alex a matter of seconds to reach Luka and throw himself into his arms. Luka hugged Alex like it had been months instead of days since they had last seen each other.
Luka suddenly saw Sam standing just outside the door of the room. She was wiping her eyes and seemed to be taking a moment to steady herself. Slowly he put Alex down on the ground.
"Hi"
"Hi"
Alex was right in the middle of the two. He looked from Luka to Sam then back again finally settling his eyes on his friend. "Luka I am so glad you're here. When we left..."
"Alex" his mom gently interrupted him, "would you mind if Luka and I talked alone for a little bit?"
Alex looked at his mom then back at Luka, "O.K, I'll go watch TV." As he was leaving he looked at his mom one last time and told her in no uncertain terms to be nice to Luka.
Both watched until Alex made it to the room and closed the door behind him. Luka and Sam stood and waited until the door had closed behind him. Then turned back to face each other and enjoyed the sight of one another for a few minutes.
"Part of me can't believe that you actually came."
"I told you I was coming"
"I know, it's just no one has ever..." Sam started to say but decided she didn't want to spoil this moment with talk of past disappointments. "It doesn't matter. Do you want to sit down?" she said pointing to the table and chairs near the motel pool. Luka nodded his head and they made their way over to that area.
Sam started off the conversation, "I want to apologize for just taking off like that without giving you any explanation. I know how much you care for Alex and..." "I care about both of you." Luka said interrupting her, locking his eyes with hers. "Sam before we start talking about the reasons you left there is something that we need to discuss," he said breaking the spell they had put each other under.
"I came because I realized just how much I did care about both of you. In fact right now it's taking all my energy not to pull you into my arms and show you just how much I care about you."
Sam just looked at him in surprise, unsure how to respond.
"But before I do that there is something that I need to talk to you about."
"What is it?" Sam said apprehensively.
"Me"
"I don't understand. What about you?"
"I have never been able to commit to any one relationship that I have had since my wife. And a big part of it was my fault. I wasn't willing to go the extra step, with any woman, which was necessary to have a healthy relationship. I refused to share a part of myself with them. Oh I had no problem giving them my body, but I was never ready to give my heart ... my soul. That was the one thing I was never able to do."
"In what way do you mean?" Sam asked.
"In order to let someone in I knew that I would have to share all of myself with them which meant sharing my family with them." Luka said to Sam.
"Luka I know that it must be hard for you to talk about your past with your family. I never asked because I didn't want to push you into anything that you weren't ready to talk about."
Luka sat silent for a moment, "You know over these past years in Chicago, and other places before that, when people have learned of my past, my family, they had always assumed I didn't speak of them because it was too painful, that I relived the pain of their deaths anytime they were mentioned.." Luka paused a little bit, as if he had just realized something. "The first few years that was true, but later I began to realize that a big part of it was me being selfish."
Again, Luka paused trying the figure out how to explain something he'd never tried to put into words before.
"Have you ever known or had something that was so special to you that by sharing it you felt as if you were losing a part of it?"
Sam knew that the question was rhetorical, so she said nothing and waited for him to continue without interruption.
"That's how I feel about my family. My memories of them are here" he said pointing to his heart, "and here" pointing to his head. "Of all my possessions those memories are the most valuable, there're priceless. There have been people in my life that I have cared about, but there was always something holding me back from sharing with them these precious memories. Every time I tried it just felt wrong, like...."
"Like, by sharing you were letting go." Sam said with a voice of understanding.
Finally someone understood. Luka could see the comprehension in her face. He closed his eyes for a second and silently thought "Thank you God for finally sending her to me." Sam gently took hold of his hand, patiently waiting for him to continue.
"Yes," he said while nodding his head, "that by sharing those memories I was somehow letting go of them, saying good-bye to the life that we all had together and I was never ready to do that for anybody, at least until I met you."
Sam smiled, but there were tears in her eyes, "Well when you're ready, I would love to get to know them."
Luka looked at Sam and knew he was ready, that she was the one he had been waiting for to open up to about his life, his whole life.
The hours flew by as Luka talked to Sam about his past; his childhood, his med school days, his marriage and his kids. By the end, Luka felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. By sharing his memories with Sam, he hadn't lost any of the joy that the memories always held for him. He felt at peace and closer to Sam then he ever believed possible.
"Thank you for telling me." Sam said with genuine gratitude as she tenderly placed her hand on his cheek.
"Thank you for listening." With that said Luka gently took Sam's face in both his hands and gave her the kiss he had longed to give her the moment he arrived.
They eventually went back to the room together and ordered pizza for dinner. Alex was ecstatic to learn that they were headed back to Chicago in the morning.
The rest of the night was filled with laughter and an occasional pillow fight which pitted Sam & Alex against Luka and then Alex against Sam & Luka. Anyone looking at them that night never could have imagined the turmoil they all had gone through to get to where they were. All they would see were three people who made a lovely family.